


Marvelous Collection

by sssssssim



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:32:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 140,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sssssssim/pseuds/sssssssim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marvel drabbles. Mostly in the MCU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kate/Clint: How Kate Bishop met the Avengers

 

  1. **Black Widow**



She meets the Black Widow in Clint’s apartment. 

Clint’s empty apartment, where Kate’s obsessively watching the news on his tiny tv. She hasn't moved since yesterday, when the helicarriers fell. And Clint’s phone has been off since last month, which usually meant he was on a big assignment, deep undercover.

And with Shield falling, that meant… Kate didn’t know what that meant, but she knew it was something bad. Terribly worried didn’t even start to explain what she was feeling. 

That’s when she barged him. Kate reacted instantly, grabbing for her bow, which was sitting on the coffee table. But she doesn't shoot the arrow, just knocks it and points it straight at the woman’s chest.

Kate sees that she got in with a key, and she sees the bright red hair and the arrow shaped necklace and after she figures it out, Kate lowers her bow. 

‘Natasha.’

‘He’s not here?’, the Black Widow asks, and even though she looks perfectly composed, Kate knows she’s just as worried as she is.

‘His phone’s been off for a month.’, Kate explains. ‘Sent me a text asking me to check in on Lucky, but that’s it.’

Natasha closes her eyes. ‘Shit.’

‘I checked the data you leaked’, Kate goes on. ‘There’s nothing. Or, at least, nothing that I understood. I know you spies have your own slang and whatnot.’

‘Do you have a laptop I could borrow?’, Natasha asks, slowly, determination written all over her features.

Kate eagerly points her to the bar, where her laptop is sitting, and she spends the next minutes wordlessly staring at the Black Widow, who is in Clint’s kitchen, furiously typing away at Kate’s light purple laptop.

Natasha closes the laptop slowly, with a smirk on her face.

‘I got him’, is all she says, but there’s excitement seeping through.

‘Do you need help?’, Kate asks, grabbing at her bow.

‘No, thank you’, Natasha smiles at her, just a bit. ‘I’ll take care of this one, Kate’.

It’s only hours after she leaves, that Kate realizes that Natasha knows her name. Does that mean that Clint talked to her? Chatted with the Black Widow about Kate Bishop? She couldn’t wrap her head around it, so she ignored it.

When Clint comes back, looking worse for wear but fully alive, he says that he has no idea how Natasha found him. Kate’s not even mad about it.

 

  1. **Captain America**



She meets Captain America in a coffee shop. 

It’s just after 6AM on a Saturday morning, she hates her life because why the hell did her brain decide she needed to be awake at this hour, and she hates her friends, for drinking the last of her coffee and not telling her.

So here she is, in the little coffee shop around the corner from her apartment. She’s bleary eyed, wearing pajamas and what was at one point Clint's hoodie, and she’s pretty sure she’s wearing mismatched shoes.

Kate doesn’t even notice him, at first. She stands in line (because there’s a line, even as ass o’clock in the morning, don’t these people ever sleep?!), keeps her head down, keeps yawning and waits for her turn.

When it comes, she orders three of the biggest coffee cups they have (one here, and two to go, please), black and with an extra shot of espresso.

The barista asks for names to write on the cups, and she says Kate. And Kate. And Kate. The barista stares at her, but she waves him off, gives him the money and heads to the end of the counter, to wait for her drinks. 

She only notices him because he steps very close to her.

‘Miss, are you okay?’, he asks, obviously concerned, and Kate freezes when she looks up.

‘That’s an awful lot of coffee just for a young woman.’, Steve goes on, like the gentleman that he is.

Kate opens her mouth. Closes it. Takes him in. His eyes are bright even for the early hour, he’s wearing a hoodie that clings to his biceps and a baseball cap. It’s… Kate didn’t actually expect him to carry his shield with him everywhere, but he’s looking too soft, way too soft for how deadly she knows he is.

He puts a hand on her shoulder. 

‘Are you alright?’

She shrugs her shoulder, forcing him to take his hand away. 

‘Fine, Cap’, she says, and he freezes. ‘You know us hawkeyes can handle our coffee.’

That makes him frown. Profoundly. 

‘So you know …’, he tries, but doesn’t finish, looking around at the other patrons of the coffee shop.

‘Your hawkguy? Yes, I know him.’

Steve nods, slowly.

‘Has he never mentioned me?’, Kate tries, lowering her voice. ‘His protege? His better self? Platonic soulmate? The … other Hawkeye?’

Steve shakes his head, slowly.

‘That bastard’, Kate says strongly, reaching over to grab her coffee. 

She turns around to leave, but stops after a single step.

‘You should talk to him, you know, about his life outside of your little party group.’

Cap frowns at that, looking away from her.

‘Clint does have one, you know’, she points out, maybe a bit more forcefully than she should. ‘A life away from you. I’m not saying it’s a good one, but it’s not a bad one either.’

Kate take off after that, leaving behind a confused Captain America.

She calls Clint later that evening, and he answers, but tells her that he’s out drinking with the Avengers guys. Well, as it turns out, Captain America does listen to weird women he meets in a coffee shop. 

 

  1. **Iron Man**



She meets Iron Man on the rooftop of Clint’s building.

They had a fight, a nasty one, about Kate caring too much for him, which sounds so stupid now, and Clint ended it by storming out of the apartment and taking Lucky away with him. Kate needed to clear her head, but she couldn’t leave, couldn’t leave until she knew they were okay, so she came to the roof, waiting for him to come back.

She’s startled when Iron Man falls a couple of feet next to her. She might have yelled. 

After getting over her shock, she runs to his side, only to find that he’s unconscious.

‘Wake up!’, she tries yelling. ‘Stark, wake up!’

She kicks him in the chest and on his head, but it hurts her more than it hurts him, and he doesn’t wake.

‘Fuck.', Kete gets an idea. 'Jarvis? Jarvis, can you hear me? I need you to take off his suit, it’s too heavy, I can’t carry him inside.’

Nothing happens. 

‘Jarvis, please, can you hear me?’

‘Sir landed here under the impression that he will be reaching Mr. Barton.’, a voice says, and it sounds muffled, like it’s coming from inside the suit.

‘He’s out’, Kate says. ‘He’ll be back, but I can patch Stark up.’

Jarvis doesn’t say anything.

‘Look, I’m a friend of Clint’s. My name is Kate Bishop, you can look me up later. Right now, I need you to get Stark out of the suit. I can carry him, and I can carry the suit, but not both of them at the same time.’

‘Please remove Sir’s helmet’, Jarvis says. ‘Keep that with you, so we can communicate. I’ll take care of the suit.’

She does as asked, and the suit starts to fall apart, flying away.

‘That’s cool’, she can’t help but say out loud. 

‘Thank you’, is Jarvis’ prompt response, ‘Now will you please help Mister Stark?’

It takes a while, for Kate to carry an unconscious Tony Stark down to Clint’s apartment, but she manages to lay him down on the couch.

She can’t do much, though, his injuries consist of mostly bruises and a dislocated shoulder. She puts that back, and that's when he wakes, yelling.

‘I usually keep the kinky stuff for the second date’, are the first words Stark tells her and she can’t help it, she laughs.

She also brings him painkillers and water and a cup of lukewarm coffee.

‘So I gather I’m in Barton’s apartment’, Stark says after taking the pills. ‘But I have no idea who you are.’

‘Kate’, she answers. ‘I’m Clint’s…’ she has trouble with it, because platonic soulmate doesn’t sound so accurate anymore, his better self is a stupid thing to say, his protege doesn’t begin to cover it, so she goes with what’s safest. ‘I’m the other Hawkeye.’

Stark blinks. ‘That makes no sense.’

That’s when Clint comes back, apologizing To Kate even before he opens the door, and it takes a while for him to see Stark. 

‘Oh’, Tony says, winking at Kate. ‘Now I get it.’

‘You really don’t’, she huffs out.

She then walks out, leaving the superheroes to their superheroes business.

 

  1. **Thor**



She meets Thor in a dark alley way in LA. But she met his girlfriend’s intern a bit before that.

Kate met Darcy while on the job. She was in her car, surveilling a house, waiting for her client’s husband to come out with his mistress (nasty job, way beneath her, yes, but it pays the bills, so she does it), when she was startled by a knock on the window.

‘So’, the young woman on the other side says, ‘you’ve been sitting here for a couple of hours now, and at first I really thought you were spying on us. But you made no move when I went outside, so I guess you’re spying on someone else. And you’ve been sitting here for a couple of hours, and I know sitting in a car for that long is a bitch, so i got you some coffee and a sandwich.’

Kate falls in love with Darcy instantly. Well, she doesn’t fall in love like actually fall in love, but they become friends.  

Which is why they are in a bar together, late one night. And Kate usually walks Darcy home, which she planned on doing tonight, but halfway through, they were surrounded by goons. 

Big goons, muscled goons, that don't really look like they're good guys. The women slowly back away, straight into the dark alley, but at least their backs are covered.

‘Look, Darcy’, Kate says, slowly reaching into her bag. ‘I’m gonna need you to stay back, and trust me, we’ll be okay.’

Darcy doesn't answer, she just pulls out what looks like a pretty nice taser.

‘That’s just what I was gonna say’, Darcy grins at her, and Kate doesn't have time to think about it.

She pulls out her compressed bow, pushing the button that makes it expand to full size, and quickly hooks her small quiver to hr belt. The arrows are shorter than normal ones, but they’ll do.

Because, apparently, these goons don't even have guns on them, and they seem rather startled when they realize the women are actually going to fight back.

There are 6 goons, and they're all on the ground after one and a half minute.

That’s when Thor drops buy, literally, he drops from the sky.

‘Lady Darcy, there’s been an attack. Someone is after my Lady Jane and all those who have connections with her.’

‘Oh my god’, Darcy breathes out, ‘is Jane okay?’

‘She is safe, but shaken up. So is Doctor Selvig, I checked. I am here to escort you to safety.’

One of the goons groans then, and Thor looks down, just noticing them. Then, he looks towards Kate. She clicks her bow back to travel size.

‘So uh’, Darcy says, ‘I haven’t been completely honest.’

Kate snorts. ‘Me neither.’

There’s a pause. 

‘So I’m gonna go’, Kate says, slowly walking around Thor’s massive figure. ‘Darcy, give me a call when you can. And uh, Mister Thor-’

She falters, while Darcy snorts.

‘If you see Clint’, Kate goes on, ‘Tell him that his dog’s okay.’

Thor frowns. ‘You know Barton?’

Kate just waves him off and gets the hell out of there

 

  1. **Hulk**



She meets the Hulk in a bar.

Kate doesn’t like hanging out in bars, but sometimes, she needs to unwind. Usually, she’d even pick up a guy for the night, but that hasn’t happened in a couple of months. She knows it’s because of Clint, but she chooses to ignore it.

So she’s in a bar, sipping on her third beer, pushing away all the men who try to buy her drinks and all the girls who try to flirt. For the past 20 minutes, she’s been staring at a guy, sitting at the bar.

He doesn’t look like much, a bit older than Clint, with curly dark hair and massive dark circles under his eyes. Kate wouldn’t have paid him any attention, it’s just that he looks massively out of place, in a purple shirt and a dark suit jacket, drinking beer in a fancy bar.

Upon closer inspection, Kate notices the access card for the Avengers tower. And then, his phone rings, and he spends a couple of minutes having a very heated conversation with the person at the other end.

At one point, he says ‘do not Bruce me, Stark!’, and that’s when it clicks, for Kate. 

He is incredibly angry when he finishes that phone call, and that’s not good, Kate knows how not good that is. She’s about to make her way towards him, but someone gets there before her.

The lady is older than Bruce, wearing an incredibly tacky short dress and tons of makeup, the visual definition of a cougar. Bruce tries to politely refuse her, but she doesn’t go away. He tries a couple of times, his anger growing with each word the woman says.

Kate doesn’t really have a plan, but that doesn’t stop her from marching to his side.

‘Bruce’, she says cheerfully, wrapping a hand around his shoulder. ‘It’s so good to see you, it’s been a while. How about we get out of here? Grab some late dinner, huh?’

Bruce stares at her.

‘Oh, is that it?’, the woman sneers. ‘I’m not young enough for you?’

Kate scrunches up her nose. ‘I’m his niece, lady. And you’re going to have to learn that no means no.’

With that, she grabs Bruce’s hand and drags him out of the bar. He only stops her while they’re outside.

‘What the hell was that?’, he asks, rather loudly.

Kate answered in a hushed whisper. ‘That was me, getting you out of a situation that would have made you Hulk out.’

‘I have it under control’, Bruse grits out, before he freezes, blinking at her. ‘Who are you?’

Kate huffs. ‘A friend.’

‘No, really’, Bruce insists, something close to murder in his eyes, taking a pretty menacing step towards her.

Kate doesn’t move back. ‘A friend of a friend’, she amends. ‘Do you want me to call Clint to give you a ride back?’

Bruce sighs, running a hand over his face. ‘I could use a walk.’

Kate hesitates for just half a second. ‘Do you want me to walk back with you?’

He just blinks at her a couple of times, the tips of his ears turning red. ‘I can take care of myself, thank you.’

Bruce leaves after that, and Kate goes back inside the bar.

Three hours later, Clint is there to pick her up, which is probably a good thing, because she’s drunk enough not to remember the way back to her apartment, just back to his. 

 

  1. **The Falcon**



She meets the Falcon in a cab.

Kate is already in the cab, heading home, when Sam just gets in at a stop.

‘I’m sorry’, he says, ‘but this is a matter of life and death.’

‘Sure’, she doesn’t hesitate.

‘The Avengers tower’, Sam tells the driver. ‘As fast as you can. I don’t care if you have to break the law, I’ll pay for the tickets.’

Kate snorts at that. They’re silent for a while, but Kate can’t take it.

‘Is this an Avengers Assemble problem?’

Sam raises an eyebrow at her. ‘Yes.’

Kate hums. ‘Do you need any help?’

This time, when he raises an eyebrow, it’s patronizing. 

‘I’m not sure a pretty thing like you would be much help against an evil dude from Azgard.’

She winces. ‘My face probably wouldn’t help, but my bow could do some damage.’

Sam blinks at that. ‘Thank you?!’, it comes out as a question. ‘But I think we can handle it.’

The cab’s stopped in front of the Avengers tower, and Sam moves to get out. 

Kate stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

‘Tell Clint to call me when you’re all safe, yeah?’

He doesn’t react for a moment, eyes darting all over her face, but then, Sam grins.

‘You got it, bow-girl.’

He’s out of the car before Kate can tell him how terrible of a nickname that is.

Clint doesn’t call, but he does text.  _ We’re fine, and so are you. At least that’s what Sam tells me. _

 

  1. **War Machine**



She meets War Machine in the bad part of town.

It’s a simple affair, of busting a drug ring, and Kate’s done with it in 10 minutes. That’s when War Machine bursts into the warehouse.

He takes off his masks and stares for a while.

‘I was going to help’, he says, ‘but looks like you got it covered.’

Kate shrugs.

‘Your costume looks a lot like Hawkeye’s.’, he says next and Kate smirks at that.

‘That’s because I am Hawkeye.’

The Police come in then, and it’s a matter of giving statements and talking to detectives and it leaves Kate exhausted and with a headache. And they still want to take her to a precinct, for questioning.

‘That won't be necessary’, Rhodey says, appearing out of nowhere. ‘She gave her statement and her phone number, and she saved the day, right? It’s all good.’

‘Bless you’, Kate breathes out, gathering her things and getting out of there. 

Rhodey follows her. ‘Who are you, though?’

‘Clint’s BFF’, she says, because it’s easier than really thinking about it. 

‘I thought you were a myth’, Rhodey says, surprising her completely. 

He laughs at her confused look. ‘Hey, I’m the type of guy who only believes it if he sees it, okay? Now, I’ve seen it. And you, Hawkeye, owe me one for getting you out of there.’

Kate sighs, shaking her head. ‘I’ll get you a beer next time.’

  
  


  1. **Scarlet Witch**



She meets the Scarlet Witch in an even worse part of town.

This time, the drug lords are a bit smarter, and she’s having a little bit of trouble of putting them down.

And then there’s a flash of red, and Wanda descends upon them, immediately putting her back to Kate and fighting. 

It’s easier after that, but when it’s done, Kate falls to the ground, exhausted. Wanda crouches down next to her.

‘Thank you’, Kate says first.

‘It’s no trouble. I was passing through and heard a police radio.’

‘Oh, crap’. Kate tries to get up, but she falters a bit, Wanda helping her stand.

‘I’ll get you to the hospital’, she says, concern clear, but Kate waves her off. 

‘I’m fine, I just need to get out of here. The cops still hate me after the last time.’

She takes off in a run, and thankfully, Wanda doesn’t follow. Still, Kate spares a second to shout over her shoulder.

‘Don’t tell Clint about this.’

She doesn’t think Wanda did, but Clint is looking a bit weirdly at Kate the next time they see each other. 

 

  1. **Vision**



She doesn’t meet Vision, as much as Vision interrupts her, on the roof of Clint’s building.

Because of course, in true Hawkeye fashion, their first kiss takes place on the rooftop, just as the sun is coming up, after a long night of fighting each other’s demons.

At this point, Clint is sitting on an empty case of beer, his back against a wall, his hands under Kate’s shirt, as she’s straddling him and shamelessly rutting against him.

‘I’m unaware of what the social conduct for this type of situations is’, a voice says, startling them both. 

When she sees Vision, Kate has the decency to climb off of Clint, helping him get up.

‘Miss Bishop’, Vision says, ‘it’s a pleasure to see you again.’

Kate blinks. ‘Wait. You’re still Jarvis.’

Vision tilts his head. ‘I have his data, yes.’

‘That is so cool.’, she breathes out, completely in awe.

He smiles at her, before turning a serious look to Clint. ‘There’s a problem with Miss Romanoff’s exit route.’

Clint swears, and takes a step towards Vision. But he hesitates, turning to look at Kate with a certain type of hesitation in his eyes.

She can’t help but smile, giving him another quick kiss and urging him to go. Vision grabs the back of his shirt and they both fly away quickly, but Kate can still see both of them smiling, one more than the other. 

 

  1. **When Clint introduces Kate**



Being with Clint Barton was supposed to be a weird thing. It’s not, not really, it’s surprisingly easy for them to be. 

Kate says ‘be’, because ‘dating’ doesn’t really cover it. They don’t go out on dates. They drink at his apartment, order pizza more often than she cooks, they take Lucky out on walks. Sometimes, they go grocery shopping together, or talk nonsense on the roof. They train together, they go through an impressive amount of condoms, but they aren’t dating.

They just are. Together for lack of a better word.

Not really dating. 

So Clint inviting her to an Avengers party, specifically using words as ‘my date’ and ‘plus one’ and ‘dress code’, that’s weird. Kate doesn’t mind, it’s kind of adorable, how he gets all flustered when he asks.

So she puts on a dress, and she puts on makeup, and she waits for him to pick her up and she accepts the flowers he brings, and she kisses him sweetly in her doorway, and she kisses him filthy in the back of the cab.

He seems a little bit nervous as they get to the tower, and as the elevator doors open to the floor the party’s at, he grabs her hand very tightly and drags her inside. Where all the Avengers are.

‘Guys, I’d like you to meet Kate’, Clint says, a bit too loud for it to seem normal. ‘My girlfriend.’

Kate grins, because she absolutely thought he was going to have trouble naming it, what they are, how they are, and it just makes her incredibly happy, hearing it coming from his lips.

There’s a long pause, in the room, and when Kate turns around, all the Avengers are staring at them. And then, sure enough, completely in sync, each and every one of them says 

‘We know’. 

‘How come?’, Clint doesn’t miss a beat. ‘I didn’t know until three weeks ago.’

Needless to say, everybody laughs. Kate included. 

Then, she sees a guy, way in the back, that she doesn’t know. He has a hand up, like he wants to ask something.

When their eyes meet, the guy shrugs. 

‘I don’t know.’

Kate blinks. ‘Who are you?’

‘Scott’, the guy grins. ‘Nice to meet you.’

Kate turns to Clint, incredibly confused. 

‘He’s new’, Clint says, but then he grins. ‘You missed one!’


	2. Kate/Clint: BREAKING NEWS: DEREK BISHOP FOUND DEAD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hawkeye squared

Hanging out with the Avengers was a cool thing to do, especially on a Saturday morning, even if last nights festivities ran a little late and most of them were still hungover.

But Clint enjoyed it. The smell of coffee and the expensive pastries Tony liked, Bruce and Natasha trying (and failing) to make Tony do (or not do) something, Steve sitting on the couch drawing in his notebook, Sam bothering him with silly questions, Wanda and Vision talking in hush tones in a corner, Thor looking for something to watch on tv.

Clint only sees a brief second of it, but it’s enough to make him yell at Thor to go back to the news.

**BREAKING NEWS: DEREK BISHOP FOUND DEAD**

Clint hears the newscaster talk about how his wife found him dead in his office, about how they don’t know who did it, but that it was a brutal murder and it’s bound to be a complicated investigation.

The lady on the tv says that neither of his daughters weren't available for comment just as Clint manages to dig out his phone.

‘Did you know this man?’, Thor asks him somewhat gently, but Clint can’t answer.

Kate doesn’t answer her phone either. He tries four times, the call going to voicemail every time.

‘Friday’, he says, ‘can you uhm… if I give you a phone number, can you tell me where the phone is?’

‘The one you just dialed?’, comes the quick responds, and Clint barely remembers to say ‘please’.

As Friday searches, Natasha comes by his side. She doesn’t say anything, just grabs a hold of his shoulder and squeezes tightly.

Tony wants to ask, but a look from Natasha silences him. Clint is grateful, cause he’s not sure he’d be able to explain.

‘Mister Barton’, Friday’s voice seems subdued, ‘Miss Bishop is home.’

Clint frowns. ‘Her apartment? Her dad’s place? Home where?’

‘Yours’, Friday says and it doesn’t surprise Clint, he should have thought of that.

‘I need a car’, he tells Friday, but Steve is quick to step between him and the exit.

‘You need a driver.’

Clint wants to start arguing, but Steve gives him a strong look.

‘Your hands are shaking, you’re in no condition to drive.’

He looks down at his hands and damn it, Steve’s right.

‘I’ll drive you’, he says next and Clint can’t really say no to that.

‘Clint’, Natasha keeps her voice unaffected, ‘if there’s anything she needs, call me. Anything.’

‘Thank you’, Clint nods and all but runs out of there.

↙↗

Steve is silent for most of the ride, but when they’re three blocks from Clint’s apartment building, he does ask.

‘How do you know his daughter?’

‘It’s a long story’, is Clint’s first reaction, which he regrets.

‘She’s a very good friend’, is his second reaction, which doesn’t begin to cover it.

‘She’s Hawkeye’, is the third thing he says, and that also doesn’t begin to cover it.

‘I don’t know’, he finishes lamely, shaking his head.

Steve doesn’t say anything else, which Clint is very grateful for. But before he gets out of the car, Steve stops him with a strong grip on his shoulder.

‘Don’t say you’re sorry for her loss, that doesn’t count for shit’.

Wow, Captain America swearing like this. It usually only happens in battle.

‘And’, Steve goes on, ‘if _you_ need anything, call me.’

Fuck, Clint is so grateful for his friends.

↙↗

Clint doesn’t know exactly what he expects, but it could be a couple of things. He could find his apartment trashed because of Kate’s anger. He could find her in the middle of a nervous breakdown. He could find her too shocked to function. He could find her crying.

He didn’t expect to find her in the bathroom, wearing a dress, scrubbing blood off her hands.

‘Oh, hey, you’re back!’, she says as if everything is normal. ‘Good, I need some stitches.’

Clint notices then. That there’s a lot of blood on her hands and legs, and that there are cuts in her dress and bruises underneath. That her hair’s a mess, that the soles of her feet and her ankles are bleeding and that she’s shaking.

‘I’ve got bruised ribs’, she winces. ‘Help me take off my dress.’

He moves without hesitation, and after he takes off her dress, he can’t even focus enough on her bright purple underwear, because there is a nasty, deep cut under the line of her bra, that stretches until the line of her panties.

‘What happened?’, he asks, possibly more forcefully than he should have, considering Kate flinches.

The apology is on the tip of his tongue, but when he looks up and locks eyes with her in the mirror, he can’t form the words.

Because she looks completely hollow.

‘I killed him’, Kate says, completely emotionless. ‘Because he tried to kill me.’

‘Your… father?’, Clint can’t help but ask.

She nods. ‘You know how Madam Masque wants me dead? And how she does that thing with the…’, she waves a hand around, quite chaotically.

Clint has never seen her this uncomposed. Even in the middle of war, Kate Bishop is always in control. Now, she’s not, and it scares the shit out of him.

‘… with the bodies’, she finally finishes. ‘I knew his body was made by her, I found that out in LA. Whatever, point is…’, she takes a deep breath. ‘Point is she has like a … like a round table of supervillains, and it was his turn to try and kill me.’

‘He didn’t’, Kate smiles at him, and it breaks his heart.

‘Obviously’, she rolls her eyes. ‘I killed him first.’

Clint moves to hug her, then, but she flinches before his fingers can touch her skin.

‘I really need those stitches, please’, she says, not looking at him.

It’s the “please” that makes him move.

↙↗

He patches her up on the couch. She doesn’t make a sound, not a whimper as he cleans the wound, not a sound as he puts in the stitches.

Half way through, the only thing she says is ‘The bastard didn’t even have the respect and bravery to _not_ stab me in the back. Literally.’

He has no idea what to answer to that, so he says nothing. When he’s done stitching, Kate asks him to wrap the wound, because she wants to shower.

Clint just does as he’s told, and waits for the other shoe to drop.

Because this can’t be it. She can’t be this detached, this ignorant, this… unharmed.

So Clint waits. He sits on the ground outside of the bathroom, and waits.

And when Kate comes out of the bathroom, he waits until she goes into his bedroom and gets dressed.

And then when they sit side by side on the couch and start watching a show Clint didn’t know existed but couldn’t focus on, he waits.

And when Kate says she’s spending the night because her apartment is probably surrounded by paparazzi, Clint waits.

↙↗

For two days he waits.

Kate is not good.

She’s never hungry, Clint has to force her to eat. She doesn’t talk, doesn’t complain, and the house is terribly silent. Even Lucky is silent. She doesn’t sleep a lot, but doesn’t complain when Clint crawls into bed next to her. She’s lethargic, and she doesn’t even look at their bows, that are still side by side against a wall.

Kate hasn’t talked to her sister, or his father’s wife, or to her friends, to her team.

She doesn’t talk to him either and maybe that’s what hurts him the most. Whatever happened with the two of them in the past, Kate would always talk to him. Yell and curse, but still, she’d talk to him. At him.

Clint tries talking to her, sure, but every time he opens his mouth, Kate leaves the room without saying one word, and comes back two minutes later, acting like nothing happened.

So Clint waits.

He doesn’t have to wait that long.

↙↗

On the night of day three, a little bit past midnight, the land line rings. It’s Kate sister, and she makes her way on shaky legs to pick it up.

Clint wants to leave, give them privacy, but Kate wraps her fingers around his and squeezes tightly, so Clint stays right where he is.

He can’t keep up with the conversation, Kate doesn’t say much and he can’t hear her sister. But Kate apologizes and promises something, and after only two, three minutes, she ends the call.

Kate doesn’t look at him, but she doesn’t move, or let go of his hand.

‘The funeral’s tomorrow. I’m going to need some clothes.’

Clint wordlessly reaches for the phone again, this time calling Natasha.

She picks up with a quick ‘What do you need?’

‘Funeral’s tomorrow, Katie needs clothes.’

‘Does she want me to go to her place or does she want something new?’

Clint replays the question for Kate.

‘New’, she says after a beat. ‘So I can set it on fire afterwards.’

‘Very well’, Natasha says, and Clint stops her from hanging up, by adding that Kate’s back will need to be covered and that her shoes should be up her ankles.

Thankfully, Nat doesn’t ask, just promises to be there in the morning.

After he hangs up, Clint opens his mouth, intent on asking Kate if she needs him to go with her. He doesn’t get to, because Kate falls against his chest, and she starts crying.

It’s slow at first, silent, Kate keeps it bottled up, the only sign Clint gets is the shaking in her shoulders and the shallow breathes she can’t seem to take in.

But it escalates, quickly, until she is shaking so hard that he shakes with her, and soon she’s almost screaming, trying to get air into her lungs.

Kate doesn’t let go of his hand.

He doesn’t understand what she’s going through, not really. He didn’t kill his parents, not even the adoptive one. But he understands grief, probably it’s the thing he’s best at.

He can’t do much, he knows he can’t help her now. She has to get through this on her own. But that doesn’t mean she has to be alone.

So Clint wraps his free hand around her shoulders and he slowly leans back, until his back hits the wall. Then gently, as gently as he can, he lowers himself to the floor, taking Kate with him.

She bends her legs on either side of his, and he stretches his, giving her a place to sit on. Their still clasped hands end up on her thigh and she pushes her face into the crook of his neck.

Clint can’t so much. But he holds her, and he shushes her softly, and he runs his fingers through her hair and down her back, and he calls her Katie-Kate and girly-girl and sweetheart and darling and he lost count of the rest pretty early on.

Kate just cries. Her tears fall on his shirt and Clint feels every shaky breath she tries to take.

She cries for a long, long time.

There are pins and needles in his legs and his fingers hurt, because Kate holds on to them with her strongest grip.

It stops as sudden as it started.

Before Clint even realizes what was happening, Kate pushes herself up and runs to the bathroom, mumbling about needing a shower.

So, once again, Clint waits.

He waits for 35 minutes, but Kate doesn't come out of the bathroom. The water is still running, and when she doesn't answer his calls, Clint goes in after her.

She's sitting up in the bathtub, unmoving. She's blinking slowly, her fists are clench and she still doesn't answer when Clint calls her name.

The water is cold, too cold, but she isn't even shivering.

‘I should take you to a hospital’, Clint findshimself saying, surprising himself with the ability to think logically in a situation like this.

‘Don’t you dare’, Kate whispers and her voice breaks. She's probably crying, the water falling on her face hiding her tears.

Clint turns off the water and takes her hand, gently tugging it, in hopes that Kate will step out of the bathtub. She doesn't.

So Clint picks her up, one hand under her knees and one on her back, mindful of her wound. He carries her slowly to the bedroom, intending to dry her off and put her in some words clothes.

But Kate has other things in mind, because she wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes tightly, holding on for dear life.

So Clint switches tactics. He gets into bed and wraps them both in as many blankets he can find in arm’s reach.

After they settle, Kate once again found his hand. She squeezes his fingers tightly, and Clint can't help but thing about the power behind it.

The power she uses to draw her bow, to kick her enemies in the face, to carry him up the stairs when he's injured.

Clint can't see any of that power now. He feels it on his skin, but Kate is breaking down in his arms and he can't even lend her his power. He would if he could.

‘Cap told me that saying I’m sorry for your loss doesn’t count for shit’, he whispers into her hair.

For a few seconds, Kate stops shaking.

‘But I am sorry that you had to do be the one to do it.’, Clint goes on. ‘And Katie, I am so futzing sorry I can’t help you.’

Kate sniffs twice and loosens her grip on his fingers.

‘You’re enough’, she says, and that’s Kate for you.

In the middle of the worst time of her life, she’s still the one encouraging Clint.

He wraps his hands around her as tightly as he can, kisses her forehead and swears to himself that he will never, ever let go of her. Not again.

↙↗

Kate falls asleep way before he does, but Clint must have dozed off, at some point, because he blinked awake and saw red.

It takes him a split second to realize that it’s Natasha, and that she was gently shaking him and Kate awake.

‘I brought breakfast’, Nat says softly, running her fingers through Kate’s hair . She’s awake, Clint knows it, but she hasn’t opened her eyes yet.

‘The very expensive kind’, Nat goes on, ‘billed on Stark’s personal credit card.’

‘I don’t wanna’, Kate grumbles, moans, whispers. Her face is still pressed into the crook of Clint’s neck.

‘I know’, Nat says, squeezing her shoulder. ‘But you must, because it’s the first step to put it all behind you.’

She gets up from the bed, smirks at Clint and heads towards the door.

‘Up and at’em, Hawkeyes.’, Nat tosses over her shoulder.

Clint lies there for a few more seconds, until Kate groans again.

‘You want me to come with you?’, he asks and Kate turns towards him very quickly.

‘I can’t do this without you.’

It’s said strongly, with conviction. He hasn’t heard this much power in her voice since he saw the news.

‘Then up and at’em, Hawkeye’, he manages to smile.

She doesn’t return it, but she does get out of bed.

There’s a barely-there flinch in the moment she realizes that she’s not wearing any clothes, but she’s Kate Bishop, so she shrugs and heads for Clint’s dresser, putting on a pair of his boxers and a shirt that’s too lose on her, but covers her thighs.

She straightens her back and heads for the door, yelling for Lucky as she goes.

↙↗

Breakfast is a silent affair, and after it, Nat takes Kate into his bedroom and they lock the door behind themselves. Clint pretends he doesn't mind.

But, half an hour later, Kate comes out wearing a black shirt with a pencil skirt, very sturdy combat boots that somehow work with the outfit, but it’s probably because of the leather jacket.

Her lips are painted dark red, what Clint knows is Natasha’s undercover color, there’s not a sign of the dark bags he knows are under her eyes and her chin is held up.

And Nat comes out wearing tactical gear.

‘What?’

She raises an eyebrow at him and hands him an ear piece.

‘The Avengers will be providing security’, Nat says.

‘I really think that’s an overreaction’, Kate rolls her eyes, stealing Clint’s coffee mug from his hands.

‘The place will be swamped with paparazzi’, Nat argues. ‘We’re just going to keep them out of the way.’

Surprisingly enough, Kate doesn’t argue.

Still, Clint makes a note to take them all out for drinks. Or something. He’ll think of something. He should probably tell them about Madam Masque, too.

Not now, though.

‘Are you ready for this?’, he asks Kate, making his way towards her.

She doesn’t hesitate in grabbing his fingers. It feels like she never really let go of them in the past hours.

‘Now I am.’

Clint bites on his tongue to keep himself from saying something stupid that she really doesn't need to hear right now. Instead, he guides Kate out the door and pointedly ignores the look Nat throws his way.

↙↗

The funeral is tremendously long.

A whole bunch of people speak, praising Derek Bishop and how marvelous he was. His wife cries through it. So does Kate’s sister.

Kate doesn’t shed one tear. She sits on the chair she’s supposed to sit in, with her feet crossed like a lady and with a white handkerchief in her hands, but she does not cry.

Clint would’ve wanted to sit next to her. But he wasn’t family, so he pushed a bunch of celebrities to the side and took his spot right behind Kate.

The perfect spot, to make it easy for him to put a hand on her shoulder. When her sister made her speech, Kate tilted her head, until her cheek was pressed against the back of his hand.

When the ceremony was over, Kate was expected to stand behind her sister and her father’s wife, to shake hands and accept a whole shitload of apologies.

She did it with her chin held high and her eyes skipping to Clint’s every 30 seconds.

↙↗

Kate wanted to go back to his place, and Clint didn’t mind it, not one bit.

But after they got home, and after she threw her clothes in the trash and once again changed into his clothes, Kate said something that… was weird.

‘I need something’, she was looking him straight in the eyes. ‘I need something worse, or something better than this, to make me move on. To start to forget.’

‘I love you’, Clint says before his brain catches up. He gasps immediately afterwards, because that was even weirder.

But something in Kate’s eyes softens, so his mouth opens again.

‘I love you a whole lot.’

For the first time since he saw the news on Saturday morning, Clint sees Kate smile.

‘Katie-Kate’, he returns the smile. ‘Hawkeye’.

‘I love you too’, she says, a flush spreading on her cheeks. ‘And I could really use a nap.’

‘Sure’, he snorts, but follows her to the bedroom.

And he lets her snuggle up to him in bed, lets her grab his hand, lets her kiss his cheek and his nose and briefly, very briefly, too briefly, Clint lets her kiss his lips.

‘Maybe after I stop seeing the hate in my dad’s eyes before I cut his throat’, Kate whispers against his neck, ‘maybe you can tell me again.’

‘Anytime’, Clint breathes out quickly. ‘Anytime.’


	3. Darcy/Clint: Nice to meet you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first six times Darcy saw Clint.

→→

The first time Darcy saw Clint, she was in New Mexico, Thor just left and never came back, the place, their place was packed with Shield agents, and because Jane was a mess, it was up to her and Erik to make sure every piece of equipment was returned into pristine condition.

It was also up to her to, apparently, listen to Agent Coulson talk about future opportunities for Jane to continue her research, with the help of SHIELD.

It was a long day. A very long day.

Darcy only noticed Agent Clint Barton enough to figure out that he was kinda hot, that he was the only one in the bunch of Shield mindless goons to crack a joke, and that Agent Coulson was always exasperated with him because of it.

→→

The second time Darcy saw Clint, her right eye was swollen shot, her lip was split, she had a pair of handcuffs digging painfully into her wrist and, she was naked and almost raped.

He stopped as soon as he opened the door of the cell the kidnappers held her in, and he stared at her, in shock.

‘Oh’, Darcy blinked. ‘I really didn’t expect the Avengers to get me out of this.’

‘Why not?’, Clint suddenly seemed affronted.

‘It’s not really an Avengers-worthy issue.’

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but instead he rolled his eyes and made his way to uncuff her. In his earpiece, Clint told everyone that he found her, and asked Natasha, specifically, to bring clothes. As they waited, he got out some gauze and wrapped her bleeding wrists.

Darcy had to give it to him, he never once peeked somewhere he wasn’t supposed to, which was goo, because it wasn’t like Darcy was feeling very attractive at the moment. She was naked, yeah, but she was also beat up and bleeding.

‘What did they want with you?’, Clint asked as he worked on her wrists.

‘To fuck me’, Darcy said without any sugarcoating, and it made him look up into her eyes.

‘They saw footage of me from London’, she explained. ‘Got off on the fact that I helped Thor and that I was pretty.’

Clint mumbled something that sounded like ‘well Steve’s got them now’ and went back to bandage her up.

When Natasha came with clothes, Clint turned around as she got dressed.

It was sweet.

→→

The third time Darcy saw Clint, it was 4 am and she was lost in the Avengers tower. She was so lost that she ended up at the archery range.

‘You know’, Clint said without turning to look at her and without stopping his rapid fire arrow shooting, ‘Jarvis has this thing he does, when you ask him to show you the way to where you want to go, and he lights up some arrows on the floor.’

‘Where’s the fun in that?’, she teased, making her way to stand next to Clint.

He stopped shooting and raised an eyebrow at her.

‘What?’, she shrugged. ‘I like discovering a new place. And how could I do that if I always know where I’m going?’

‘You have a point’, Clint smirked, a bit. ‘However, there will be no one to save you if you stumble upon Tony’s workshop.’

‘Sure there is. Jarvis will, isn’t that right, dude?’

‘Of course, Darcy’, came the quick response.

She grinned, triumphant, at Clint, who was watching her with a puzzled expression.

‘How did you get him to call you by your name? It’s against his protocols.’

Darcy had to giggle at that. ‘I may have slightly changed his protocols. I’m very curious to see how long it’ll take Tony to figure it out.’

Clint blinked down at her for a couple of times. It didn't faze her, she kept on grinning.

‘You’re weird’, he finally said, and it made her laugh.

‘Beam me up, Jarvis. Take me to bed.’

It was Clint's turn to snort, as Jarvis did indeed light up a series of arrows on the hallway.

She was halfway out when she heard Clint tell her a soft ‘Goodnight, Darcy’.

→→

The fourth time Darcy saw Clint, his left arm was in a cast, his right one was bandaged up, and he was trying to make a sandwich.

‘Oh god, stop, please stop!’, she groaned. ‘It pains me just to look at you.’

‘I’m fine’, he didn’t even bother turning around, still trying to cut up a piece of cheese.

So Darcy shoved him. She was no match for an Avenger, but he didn’t expect it, clearly, so she was able to shove Clint all the way down to a chair.

‘Tell me how you like your sandwiches’, Darcy said, taking the knife from his hand.

Clint didn’t answer. He stared at her, with big, shocked eyes, and his mouth half open.

‘C’mon, Hawkeye. Do you want ketchup, or are you a mustard type of guy?’

He answered eventually, and as Darcy made his sandwich and one for herself, he kept complaining and mumbling about how it wasn’t that bad, he could have done it himself.

Still, he thanked her when she placed the plate in front of him.

‘You really didn’t need to, but I do appreciate it.’

‘I’m used to feeding superheroes’, Darcy shrugged. ‘Been feeding Jane and Erik for a couple of years now, Thor whenever he was visiting and did you know that Bruce really, but I mean like, _really loves_ spring rolls?’

‘You’re very weird.’, Clint nodded.

‘You keep saying that’, Darcy pointed out, ‘but I’m not seeing you running.’

He didn’t answer, he just smirked and asked her about how’s life living in the Avengers tower.

→→

The fifth time Darcy saw Clint, there was some sort of alien crashing to the common room window, and he grabbed her waist and pushed her to the ground behind the couch, literally covering her body with his.

It was over fairly quickly, considering the alien didn’t like Cap’s shield and was instantly disintegrated as soon as the vibranium touched him.

‘Are you okay?’, Clint asked with brutal seriousness, his breath tickling her cheek.

He didn’t get up, though. Their bodies were pressed together from head to toe, one of his hands was on her forehead and the other one was at her waist and really, it was ridiculous.

‘You know’, Darcy breathed out, ‘it’s really hard for me to ignore the massive crush I have on you if you keep doing stuff like this.’

And just like that, all the serious was gone from Clint’s face. She felt it, all the tension easing from his body, and the hand on her hip squeezed gently, bringing tingles to her skin.

Clint grinned, bringing their faces even closer together, even though Darcy didn’t really think it was possible.

‘Well you shouldn’t ignore it, then’, he said, very cheekily, and Darcy couldn’t help herself, from tilting her head and closing that little space that was still left between their lips.

→→

The sixth time Darcy saw Clint, she stopped counting.


	4. Darcy, Steve, Bucky: Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky move into the same apartment building as Darcy.  
> Darcy/Steve, eventually.

It’s been a couple of months since everything went down, the Civil War, as the media called it. But now, things seemed to have settled down. His life was calm enough that Steve finally had time to do things so common, they almost felt wrong.

He rented a place, a two bedroom apartment that wasn’t in Brooklyn, but it was a very short train ride away. Then, with the help of Sam and Nat, he decorated it, making sure he made a place that he enjoyed living in.

So the couch was soft, the living room was spacious and pretty vacant, the kitchen was painted in warm colors and his bedroom had a proper drawing board in front of the window.

Things were finally calm, and Bucky was by his side.

Yes, he was still struggling with finding himself, but at least they were together. They took turns cooking dinner and went running together in the morning, and some nights, they watched tv together and did their best to understand this modern world, while on other nights, they talked about their lives before, anything to get Bucky to remember.

Things were calm. They weren’t perfect, but they were good, and getting there.

⃝

They’ve been living there for three weeks when it happened.

One morning, they were on the hallway, going for a run. Steve was locking up the door when he heard another one open, the one straight across the hall from theirs.

They haven’t met any of their neighbors yet. It was a good thing, laying low, but Steve realized he couldn’t avoid this.

So he smiled when he turned around.

Their neighbor was a young woman, and the bright shade of pink on her lips is what hit Steve first. Then, he saw her curves.

Then, she yelped a ‘Fuck!’ and strongly shut the door in their faces.

Steve shared a look with Bucky.

‘What are the odds of her being a bad guy?’, Bucky whispered.

Steve shook his head. ‘Not likely. But I’m… she might have recognized me.’

Before Bucky got to answer that, the door opened again, and this time, the neighbor had a bright blush on her cheeks.

‘Sorry’, she said quickly, ‘that was very shitty of me. Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, welcome to the building.’

In complete sync, both Steve and Bucky tensed, and the plates on Bucky’s hand shifted. Because while Steve was a well known face, Bucky wasn’t.

She saw it, and raised her hands in a placating manner.

‘I’m Darcy Lewis.’

Steve recognized the name, but he couldn’t point out from where.

‘I was Jane Foster’s intern when Thor showed up in New Mexico’, she went on. ‘And in London.’

‘I remember now’, Steve blinked, shaking himself. ‘Apologies, Miss Lewis, you just caught us off guard.’

She pulled a face. ‘Don’t call me that, that’s my mother. Please call me Darcy.’

‘Darcy’, Steve smiled, politely.

‘James’, Bucky said, and Steve tried to hide his surprise.

‘It’s very nice to meet you’, Darcy grinned, before closing her apartment door behind her and locking it.

They all made their way to the elevator, and once inside, Darcy kept smiling at them.

‘If you guys ever need anything, I’m either at home or at the warehouse down the street.’

‘What are you doing in a warehouse?’, Bucky frowned, pointedly looking at the pencil skirt and almost comfortable heels Darcy was wearing.

When she answered, she looked at Steve. ‘It’s not much of a warehouse as it is a secret lab Stark set up for Jane and Erik and their science minions.’

‘I thought they worked at the Avengers facility.’, Steve frowned.

‘And I thought you lived there’, she raised a judgmental eyebrow at him, before shrugging. ‘They couldn’t really stand Stark anymore. While they’re grateful for the money and equipment, it was getting hard to not punch him in the face every time we saw him. Surprisingly enough, he understood it, or Pepper made him understand it, so he set this lab up.’

They were out of the building already, but they stopped in front of it, because Darcy was still talking.

‘I’m managing it, theoretically. Practically, I’m a glorified secretary who makes sure everybody remembers to eat and proof reads reports.’

‘I‘m sure you’re more than that’, Steve said quickly. He realized it sounded weird, but he didn’t like seeing pretty girls like Darcy underestimating themselves. Thor always spoke very highly of her, so he knew she was more than just a secretary.

There was a blush on her cheeks again, but she was grinning. Then, she turned to Bucky.

‘Was he this nice even before the serum?’, she asked in a playful whisper.

Bucky snorted. ‘He would have been, if he had figured out how to talk to girls.’

Steve punched his shoulder, good naturally, as Darcy giggled.

‘Well, it’s a very small world’, she said. ‘Jane lives two blocks down, Erik a short subway ride away and of all the buildings in New York, you two end up in mine.’

‘It wasn’t planned’, Steve said quickly. ‘I mean, I didn’t know you lived here, or about the lab. And Stark doesn’t know we live here, just Sam and Natasha. Maybe Clint.’

‘Okay’, Darcy said, slowly. ‘I’m not as paranoid as you are.’

Steve blushed, despite himself.

‘Anyway’, Darcy smiled again, rummaging through her bag and pulling out a small metal case, that had Thor’s hammer drawn on it.

Steve raised an eyebrow, and Darcy saw him do it, but didn’t address it.

Instead, she pulled out a business card out from the case and handed it to Steve.

‘If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to call. It’s what I do, aid and sometimes abet superheroes.’

Steve took it, with a smile on his face, and even Bucky smiled. She went off with a cheeky farewell and a bounce in her steps.

‘Interesting’, Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. Steve just rolled his eyes and started running.

⃝

They didn’t bump into Darcy again, but the next week, Natasha came over Friday night, with takeout and a movie. They had beer and made her coffee, but they didn’t have any sugar.

‘I’ll go ask Darcy’, Bucky said, and Steve was too surprised to say anything before he headed out the door.

He left it open, so Steve heard the discussion.

‘May I borrow a bit of sugar, please?’, Bucky said, and Steve heard the smile in it.

Darcy snorted. ‘Seriously?’

‘Natasha’s over and she likes her coffee sweet.’

‘Well, we don’t want a cranky Black Widow’, Darcy giggled. ‘Come on in.’

There was the sound of a door closing, and Steve spent the next minutes explaining to Natasha who Darcy was. Bucky came back with a small jar filled with sugar and a plate of sugar cookies with pale blue frosting.

‘I invited her over’, Bucky said, ‘but she hasn’t slept in a couple of days. Because of science.’

‘Do you have a crush?’, Natasha teased him, and wow, Steve has never seen Bucky blush like that.

He denied it, of course, and Steve was too busy laughing to argue with him.

⃝

They don’t see much of Darcy, but they do meet sometimes in the morning, as they’re off to their run and she’s off to work.

She’s always smiling, cracking a joke at Bucky’s expense, but never ignoring Steve.

She’s a refreshing thing, and Steve can’t help but think of possibilities, because Bucky smiles the brightest when he’s with her.

‘I’m not good yet’, he said when Steve broached the subject, and he understood it. He didn’t push, but he still told Bucky to give himself more credit.

⃝

They see her in the grocery store, late one night. She’s wearing pajama pants and a Culver University hoodie, she has no makeup on and her hair is piled up on top of her head. Her basket is filled with energy drinks and bags of salty pretzels.

‘Are you okay?’, Steve asked without bothering to even say hello.

Darcy snorted. ‘Fine, thank you. It’s just going to be a very long night at the lab. They’re close to some big discover, they say. I don’t know, I just hope nothing gets blown up this time.’

Steve’s eyes grew wide. ‘Do you want us to stay with you?’

‘Sure’, Bucky backed him up. ‘We’re pretty fast on our feet.'

Darcy laughed. ‘You guys are sweet, but no thank you. I can handle them just fine. Plus’, she winked, ‘they’re not going to get any work done with Captain America and Bucky Barnes there.’

That didn’t stop them from going there in the morning. It was Steve’s idea, but Bucky agreed all too quickly. The lab was closed and there was nobody inside, and sure enough, when they made their way back to the apartment building, they caught up with Darcy at Starbucks.

‘Should you be drinking coffee?’, Steve couldn’t help but frown. ‘Maybe you could sleep, instead.’

‘Oh, I will’, she grinned at him. ‘This is just hot chocolate, because I deserve to treat myself after the night I’ve had.’

‘Was it bad?’, Bucky asked. ‘Did anything explode?’

‘Nope’, Darcy shrugged. ‘They made their discovery and we’re pretty sure it’s going to get them the Nobel Prizes they deserve. But because of that, I had to document everything. I’m really just very tired.’

And she was, Steve could see it. She still looked incredibly feminine and nice, soft around the edges because of the sleeping attire she was wearing, but there were dark bags under her eyes and her lips were very chapped.

‘You guys are awesome’, Darcy said when they were in front of her apartment door. ‘Thank you, a lot, but I don’t need anyone tucking me in.’

That night, Darcy brings them a plate of chocolate muffins, with silver frosting and fondant toppers shaped as Steve’s shield.

⃝

There’s a weird knock on their door one warm Saturday night. Bucky goes answer it, even though he isn’t wearing a shirt. He looks through the visor and throws a smirk over his shoulder at Steve before opening the door.

And sure enough, Darcy’s on the other side, in a pair of shorts and a loose purple t-shirt with Hawkeye’s  bullseye on it.

‘Are you two busy?’, she asked sweetly. ‘Cause I have a few friends over who are dying to see you.’

Steve frowned. ‘Darcy, I don’t think-‘

‘Come on’, she rolled her eyes. ‘You haven’t seen Thor in a while.’

He’s off the couch very quickly. ‘Thor’s here?’

‘Yup’, she grinned, her eyes skipping to Bucky’s chest, and staying there for a while. ‘So why don’t you put on a shirt and come over? Call Natasha and Sam, if you want. I’m sure Thor wouldn’t mind seeing them.’

Darcy’s living room was filled with color. There was a red couch and an orange coffee table. The bookcase was white and the few chairs were bright green.

The walls were white, but the one around the window was painted, by her if Steve had to guess. It was a mess of things.

He saw Thor’s hammer, and his shield, and there was Clint’s bullseye again, and Tony’s arc reactor. And there was a cute drawing of an adorable Hulk with someone that looked terribly like Natasha on his shoulders, and there was another sketch of an equally adorable Sam flying with Steve in his hands. And Thor wielding his hammer at a computer, and that brunette must be Jane, because she had hearts for eyes as she was looking at Thor and there was Iron Man pinned down by the hammer, wielded by Vision. There was Hawkeye aiming an arrow with hearts at the tip at Natasha, and there was a drawing of Iron Man serving as a bench for Pepper, probably, and there was an adorable version of himself, with his hands around an equally adorable but grumpy Bucky and Steve laughed. A lot.

He was too busy laughing, as Bucky got introduced to Thor and Jane and Selvig and when he was done laughing, he hugged a very startled Darcy.

Then there was pizza and beer and simple, nice talks and when Natasha and Sam came by, their brought more beer and more jokes and it was a nice evening.

Steve didn’t miss the way Darcy kept close to him and Bucky. He spent the night analyzing Bucky, and he was confused to see that… he wasn’t flirting with Darcy. At all.

And sure enough, when they were back at the apartment, Bucky explained himself him without Steve having to ask him.

‘I’m not into Darcy. I thought I was, because she was the first woman to not treat me with gloves. Like Natasha does.’

‘What does that mean?’, Steve frowned.

‘It means you can make a move.’, Bucky winked at him.

Steve frowned. He didn’t think of Darcy that way, did he?

⃝

Except that he did, and the realization hit him hard that night.

He didn’t even realize it, but he did want to know more about Darcy. He wanted to take her out dancing, and to the movies, and have dinner with her in a dark lit restaurant. And he wanted to hold her hand and be able to wrap his arm around her waist as they’re walking down the street and he wanted her in his arms and in his bed and…

Steve wanted her.

Well, shit.

⃝

Bucky kept throwing him knowing looks in the morning. Steve ignored them.

⃝

Two days later, he gets a text from Darcy’s number.

_sos @ lab bring frisbee and sgt metal_

They make it there in five minutes, and sure enough, there were men with guns seizing the lab.

Steve and Bucky took care of them single handedly, and when they were all down, Steve made his way to Darcy’s side.

She was tied up to a chair and Steve could tell that she’d been hit, she was bleeding from a couple of scrapes and there was a nasty split in her lip.

As soon as she was free, Darcy hugged him tightly, sniffing against his neck and she did't let go for a long while.

Bucky made his way to their side, but Darcy still didn't let go of Steve.

‘I’m taking Selvig and Jane to her place, staying with them just to be sure.’, Bucky told him. ‘Stark is sending men to deal with the lab.’

He put his flesh hand on the back of Darcy’s head.

‘Let Steve take you home, yeah? He’ll take good care of you.’

Darcy noded. Steve would have preferred to take her to the hospital, but she fought against him, saying she had a med kit back home.

And she did, and Steve spent a couple of long minutes cleaning her wounds and bandaging her up.

‘Are you staying?’, Darcy whispered when he was done.

‘Yeah’, Steve didn’t hesitate. ‘I’ll take the couch.’

He only went to his place to change into something easier to sleep in, and when he came back, there were blankets and a pillow on the couch, and Darcy in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt with his shield on it, bidding him goodbye.

She didn't stay long in her bedroom, though.

An hour later, Steve still wasn’t asleep, sitting with his feet on the coffee table and watching tv. Darcy came out wrapped in a blue comforter, and wordlessly sat down on the couch next to Steve.

She pressed their sides together, bringing her knees underneath her, and Steve didn’t find it in himself to say anything.

‘You can hug me, you know’, she whispered, pointedly pressing her cheek on his upper arm.

Steve listened, and gently put his hand around her shoulders as she snuggled to his side.

‘You can even kiss me, you know’, Darcy whispered next. ‘If that’s something you’d want to do.’

Steve gulped.

He wanted to. Boy, did he want to.

‘Yeah’, he whispered back. ‘But maybe not tonight, you’re still shaking.’

‘Okay’, Darcy agreed, easily.

She was asleep ten minutes later, and Steve carried her to bed, kissing her forehead even if she wasn’t aware of it.

⃝

He woke up the next morning with a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch, and to the smell of coffee and pancakes.

And sure enough, Darcy was cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

‘I really like your t-shirt’, he said instead of a hello, and Darcy grinned at him.

‘Possessive, are we?’

Steve shrugged. ‘Bucky seems to think so.’

‘I spoke to Jane, they’re on their way here for breakfast.’

‘Good’, Steve nodded. ’That’s good.’

He didn’t want to think about things, anymore. He didn’t want to hesitate anymore, that isn’t who Steve Rogers is anymore.

So he made his way to her side, until they were almost touching, almost.

Darcy turned her head to look up at him and she smiled.

‘Hi’, she breathed out, biting on her lower lip after.

It took all of Steve’s self control to not kiss her right then and there.

‘Can I take you out to dinner this Friday?’, he asked, not letting his voice get to loud and disrupt the moment. ‘Maybe catch a movie too?’

‘I’d really like that’, Darcy breathed out around a smile. ‘But I don’t think I can wait that long.’

She kissed him, then, and even if Steve wasn’t expecting it, he didn’t hesitate to kiss her back.

It was as soft as her curves and as exciting as her smirks and Steve managed to maneuver a hand around them to turn off the stove, but that was it. Because he was too busy lifting Darcy up by the waist and setting her down on the kitchen counter.

⃝

When Bucky and the scientists got there, there weren’t enough pancakes for everyone, Darcy’s hair was a tangled mess and Steve had a hickey.

Bucky laughed, a full on laugh that warmed Steve’s heart just as much as Darcy did.

Jane decided that pizza for breakfast was perfectly acceptable and Erik mumbled something about ‘children’ under his breath.

Could have gone worse, Steve thought.

⃝

A couple of weeks later, Steve was faced with Thor giving him a concerned big brother speech.

‘Don’t worry’, Thor said at the end of it, ‘I gave Darcy the same talk.’

Steve smirked. ‘So did Bucky.’


	5. Fitz, Steve and Bucky: Strays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz stumbles upon someone while picking up food off-base.

Fitz liked these days off, when he could afford to get out of the base and take a walk, or do some shopping or, as he was doing now, getting some takeout that he’ll probably share with Jemma back at the base.

But there were some things that Fitz always did, even if it wasn’t in his nature, per say, and even if there hasn’t been any drama or apocalypses recently, but he still looked around the diner.

It was about 10 am on a weekday, so there were barely any people inside.

Two waitresses sitting at a table, ignoring each other in favor of their phones, a little girl and her father drinking milkshakes, and in a booth closest to the exit, Captain America and Bucky Barnes were eating pancakes.

What.

WHAT?

Fitz bit on his lower lip to keep quiet.

He also pulled out his phone and plucked in his headphones, opening an app that would help him listen in.

‘I don’t know, Buck’, the Captain was saying. ‘Stark has access to every video camera in the world, he’ll find us wherever we go.’

‘But we need to go.’

‘I’m not letting you go alone again’, the Captain said, and it was clear to Fitz that he was somewhat emotional.

‘We’ll figure something out’, Cap said next. ‘We’ll find somewhere to go.’

Fitz closed his app and without double thinking it, made his way to their booth.

He grabbed a chair from a nearby table and sat down at the side of theirs.

‘Hello’, he said. ‘I couldn’t help but over hear what you were saying and I can help.’

‘No, thank you’, the Captain said gruffly.

‘No, really’, Fitz insisted. ‘Me and my friends, we have a safe place for you to stay.’

Fitz heard the distinct sound of a gun being armed and he felt the barrel of one pressing onto his thigh, from Barnes’ side.

‘You should leave, kid.’

Fitz huffed. ‘I really shouldn’t.’

He turned back to the Captain.

‘Look, Captain Rogers, the last time you were on the run, it ended badly for everyone. I, personally, ended up at the bottom of the ocean and woke up with brain damage. It’s in everybody’s best interest for us to help you.’

‘Who are you?’, Cap said slowly and menacingly.

‘Fitz. I’m an agent of Shield.’

There was murder in the Captain’s eyes now. ‘Shield fell.’

‘I know, I was there’, Fitz snorted. ‘Fury saved me and my partner from the bottom of the ocean and then he gave us the means to rebuild Shield. Properly, this time, Hydra free.’

The gun on Fitz’ thigh dug deeper into his skin at that, and he winced.

‘Let me make a phone call’, he said next. ‘You’ll trust the director.’

‘You want to call Fury?’, the Captain raised an eyebrow.

Fitz shook his head. ‘Not Fury, but the guy he gave the ropes to. You’ll trust him.’

‘Steve’, Rogers said slowly, the gun still not wavering on Fitz’ thigh. ‘We shouldn’t.’

‘You really should’, Fitz pointed out. ‘It looks like you have nothing to lose anymore. Plus, you trust Fury’, he pointed a finger at the Captain. ‘And he trusts us, so…’

It took a few beats and a wordless conversation with Barnes, but the Captain did nod, and Fitz slowly reached for his phone.

‘Director’, he said when Coulson picked up, putting his phone on speaker. ‘I need you to say your full name and rank.’

There was a pause.

‘Fitz, what’s wrong?’, Coulson asked, and Steve frowned at the phone.

‘Nothing, I’m fine’, Fitz assured. ‘I promise. Please just say your full name and rank.’

‘Phillip Coulson, Director of Shield.’

The Captain’s eyes grew wide at that, and he smiled, a bit.

‘Coulson, you son of a bitch.’

There was another pause.

‘Fitz’, Coulson said next, menacingly and drawing out the vowel.

‘Sir’, he countered around a smirk. ‘I’m at the diner, gonna need an extraction. Also, I’m bringing in a couple of strays.’

Coulson sighed, deeply. ‘I’ll send Mack. You have 5 minutes and when you get back, Fitz, you should have a very good explanation that will stop me from punching you in the face.’

Fitz was still laughing as he ended the conversation.

‘So’, he turned to Barnes. ‘Think you could take your gun back now, please?’

He did so, slowly, not once looking away from him.

‘It’s okay, Buck’, the Captain said. ‘I trust Coulson. He died for me a while back.’

At that, they both turned to look at Fitz.

‘It’s a long story’, he said. ‘It involves alien genes and miracle drugs made out of aliens and a lost underground alien city and uh I’m sure Coulson will be more than happy to explain.’

‘Aliens.’, Barnes said, slowly. Somewhat incredulously. ‘Aliens and alien cities.’

‘Buck’, the Captain drawled out, ‘we’re 90 years old and we have super strength and healing and you have a fully metal arm.’

‘That’s nothing’, Fitz snorted. ‘We have aliens with superpowers and Asgardian staff weapons that make people stronger and angrier and wait-‘, he turned to look at Barnes with wide eyes. ‘Did he just say you have a metal arm?’

He nodded, slowly.

‘Could I look at it? Cause I haven’t managed to make Coulson an arm that he likes.’

‘Why does Coulson need an arm?, the Captain asked.

‘Cause he lost his!?’, Fitz raised an eyebrow. ‘Obviously.’

Mack got there, then, and he clapped Fitz on the back twice.

‘I’ve never heard Coulson swearing like this’, Mack grinned at him. ‘I’m pretty sure Simmons is planning to bake you a cake, because it was hilarious.’

Fitz grinned, turning back to the Captain and Barnes.

‘Well, come on.’, he said. ‘There’s work to be done.’

‘Kid’, the Captain said, getting up. ‘You don’t know the half of it.’


	6. Darcy/Steve: I hated Percy Jackson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me, while reading Heroes of Olympus (the second Percy Jackson series):  
> Someone needs to get Cap to read Heroes of Olympus because let me tell you about Nico coming out (of nowhere).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously, spoilers for House of Hades :))  
> I guess you could read this even if you haven't read any Percy Jakcson books. I mean, you'll understand it well enough. If not, feel free to ask.

She and Captain America had a thing.

… was a sentence Darcy never thought she would say, but here she was.

She got pretty chummy with all of the Avengers after moving into their facility, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. And it wasn’t a thing… not like that sort a thing.

The thing was, Sundays were days of rest in the Avengers Bunker, as Darcy liked to call it. Everybody worked their butts off Monday to Saturday, with or without any impending apocalypse. But on Sundays, everybody slept in.

Even people like Jane and Tony and Bruce, that barely slept throughout the week, they caught up with sleep on Sunday.

Natasha didn’t do her usual morning workout on Sundays, so she didn’t wake Clint up either.

Darcy doesn’t think Vision actually sleeps, but he usually only came out of his room after Wanda woke up.

Sam got up early, but that was only because he always had breakfast with his mother on Sundays, so he had to get a start on getting to the city.

Bucky was also awake, most days, but he spent his Sunday mornings in the otherwise unoccupied gym.

No training activities were scheduled for Sunday, no tests, no nothing. The entire establishment was silent, and the living area was as silent as it ever got.

Everybody slept in on Sunday, except for Darcy and Steve.

She couldn’t sleep in even if she wanted to. That’s not how her body was wired. If she got used to waking up at a certain hour day every day (at 6, because the scientists got to the labs at 7), it didn’t matter that Sunday was a day for sleeping in.

So Darcy still woke up at 6 am, and so did Steve. She never asked why, but she assumed it was something among the same lines. Probably with a bit more added pressure of nightmares, considering each and every one of the Avengers had them.

But Steve didn’t mind her company, and she didn’t either.

So every Sunday morning, they’d meet in the communal kitchen, still in their pajamas. He’d make the coffee and the orange juice, she’d fry the bacon and scramble the eggs. They’d chatter aimlessly and eat side by side, and when they were done, they’d move to the living room. They’d sit down on different sides of the couch and read.

It was their thing. Reading on Sunday mornings until everybody else woke up.

ΔΩΔ

It was because of their thing, that Darcy didn’t keep her mouth shut.

She’s not sure how she ended up between Bruce and Steve at one of the dinners Tony insisted on having with everyone, but she did.

And Steve said something, he wasn’t even talking to her, he was talking to Clint, across the table. Darcy doesn’t even remember what it was exactly that he said, but it sparked a memory in her, the words he used and the context of it.

‘Wow’, she said around a smile, ‘I only just realized you remind me a lot of Percy Jackson.’

Steve frowned at her, of course.

Bruce chuckled. ‘I can totally see it, even though he-‘

‘Totally had the potential of becoming like Nico Di’Angelo’, Darcy interrupted, but it didn’t matter, because Bruce agreed with her.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’, Steve admitted, already reaching for his notebook.

‘When you have the time’, Darcy grinned, sharing a look with Bruce, ‘let me know and I’ll lend you some books. They’re … children’s books, basically, and the second series is more for young adults, but-‘

‘You’ll like them’, it was Bruce turn to interrupted her. ‘I really think you will.’

And that was that.

One by one, Darcy gave Steve the _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_  series.

Steve told her that he likes them well enough, he likes reading easy things that can make his brain shut off for a couple of hours.

Every Sunday morning, Darcy would ask where he was at. Steve would answer, but they didn’t talk much.

When he was done with the series, he leveled Darcy with a look.

‘You said I remind you of Percy and yeah, I get it. But you also said I had the potential of being like Nico, and I get that too, what with going to sleep in the ‘40s and waking up 70 years later. But you made it sound like it’s a bad thing, and I don’t see it that way, Nico is-‘

‘I know’, she interrupted him with a smile. ‘He’s awesome, he really is, but we get to know him better in the second series.’

Steve sighed. ‘Fine. May I borrow that as well, please?’

Darcy grinned.

ΔΩΔ

She kept asking him where he was at, because there was a particular scene Darcy wanted to witness. To see Steve reading it.

And sure enough, one Sunday morning, he was already reading when she made her way to communal area.

‘Sorry’, he said, not lifting his eyes from the book. ‘I already made you breakfast.’

She took the food on a tray and joined him on the couch.

‘Where are you at?’

‘Jason and Nico are going to go looking for Diocletian’s scepter.’

Darcy gasped, and that made Steve look up from his book, raising an eyebrow at her.

‘I’m sorry’, she said quickly, ‘I just, I… go on. Read, please.’

Steve frowned. ‘Are you just going to watch me read?’

‘Yes’, Darcy nodded, eager. ‘Yes I am.’

There was a pause, in which he stared at her. ‘That’s creepy, Darcy.’

‘I honestly couldn’t care less.’

She must have left her shame and common sense in her other pajamas, really.

Steve sighed, even though it was clear he was fighting against a smile.

‘Do you want me to read out loud, or-‘

‘No, that’s fine’, she shook her head. ‘I read it four times already.’

Steve’s eyes grew wide at that, understandably so, but he did go back to his reading, ignoring her.

Darcy ate, slowly and methodically, and she drank her coffee quickly, running to get a refill. When she came back, she didn’t sit down at the other end of the couch. Instead, she sat down next to him. Their thighs were touching, their shoulders were brushing and she had easy access to the book. She didn’t _need_ to read it, exactly, just keep up with what part Steve was reading.

His ears were a little bit red when he turned around to glare at her.

‘Really?’

‘Do you mind?’, Darcy smiled innocently.

He sighed, shook his head, but he went back to reading, making sure she would be able to see the pages.

It was a beautiful thing to watch, Captain America reading this particular part of _House of Hades_.

He raised an eyebrow when he read that Jason and Nico will be dealing with Cupid. His expression didn’t change until he read the rest of the chapter, which Darcy thought was pretty normal.

When started Chapter 36, Steve passed a bit quicker over the boring parts.

Darcy knew the exact moment Steve read the line where Favonius said “Yes, Jason Grace. I fell in love with a _dude_. Does that shock you?’, because his eyes grew wide, briefly, and then he snorted a laugh.

When Cupid first made an appearance, well, when his voice did, Steve tensed, slightly. It made Darcy push her body a bit closer to his, even though he didn’t react at all to the change.

“ _Stop it! It’s me you want. Leave him alone!_ ” Nico said in the book, and Steve wet his lips, blinking a couple of times before turning the page and continuing reading.

From then on, Steve just kept frowning. After Jason saw the flashes of Nico’s life, Steve was also biting on his lower lip. He suddenly stopped reading, taking a deep breath and turning to look at her.

‘I don’t think Nico’s in love with Annabeth.’

Darcy smiled and patted his knee, urging him to keep on reading.

By the time Nico was yelling “ _I don’t have friends! I left Camp Half-Blood because I don’t belong! I’ll never belong!_ ”, Steve had a very sad look in his eyes, but angry too. Good, Darcy thought. They were on the same page here.

From that point on, Steve stopped moving completely. He was barely breathing, his eyes roaming quickly over the words. His knuckles were white, where they were gripping the book, and really, it was a beautiful sight.

Steve Rogers was always a beautiful sight, but this was something else.

At one point, Darcy noticed that his index finger was moving down at the edge of the page, as he was reading.

When Nico said ” _I hated myself. I hated Percy Jackson_ ”, Steve swallowed hard.

When Nico said “ _I had a crush on Percy_ ”, Steve bit on his lower lip and shook his head twice.

There was a line, that Jason said, that Steve read twice or maybe even three times. “ _If the others found out, you’d have that many more people to back you up and unleash the fury of the gods on anybody who gives you trouble._ ”

When the chapter ended, and so did Jason’s point of view, Steve closed the book. He let out a long breath, gently putting the book on the coffee table, before running his hands over his face.

‘You okay?’, Darcy asked, whispering. It felt appropriate.

He looked at her, and she saw the awe in his eyes.

‘I really wasn’t expecting that.’

She chuckled. ‘I know that feeling.’

Steve shook his head, slightly. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘That’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.’

‘I feel like I should’.

She looked away from him, briefly gathering her thoughts. But before Darcy got to say anything, Steve started talking. Softly, and slowly, like he had all the time in the world.

‘Bucky and I were inseparable since the day we met. And over the years, there were a lot of people who thought … Well, they didn’t think _we_ were gay, because Bucky surrounded himself with girls since he knew what they were.’

Darcy snorted. ‘I don’t think you’re gay, Steve.’

‘Okay’, he shook his head, ‘but what I’m saying is that everybody else did. They thought I was in love with Bucky, and they thought it was a… horrible thing.’

‘Things are not like that anymore’, Darcy pointed out. ‘Not everywhere.’

Steve nodded. ‘I know, but what I’m saying is that I didn’t mind it then, either. I completely understood why anybody, girl or boy, would fall in love with Bucky, and I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. But everybody else did.’

Darcy frowned. ‘So you and Bucky are the only people in the world who really understand where Nico… was coming from.’

‘Yeah’, Steve frowned. ‘But it’s relatable, he’s relatable. I mean, if you change the gay issue with any other issue of acceptance…’

‘But you shouldn’t do that’, Darcy pointed out. ‘You can’t compare all the issues in the world with-‘

‘No, you’re right’, Steve interrupted, raising his voice a little. ‘I just… I get it. Not the gay thing, but before the serum, I never belonged anywhere. And even after’, he shrugged. ‘I belonged on the front lines, but just barely.’

‘Hey’, Darcy said softly, impulsively grabbing a hold of his hand. ‘I … I didn’t want you to get depressed over this.’

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘I’m not depressed.’

‘You belong here’, Darcy said strongly. ‘And if you seriously doubt that, I’ll kick your brain back into you head.’

He just looked at her, with a pitying look. Understandably. Darcy had absolutely no chance of ever kicking Captain America.

‘You need to keep reading’, she said pointedly. ‘The story’s not done, and Nico’s isn’t either.’

Bucky came into the living room there, and he kind of stopped walking, blinking at them slowly.

Darcy didn’t get it, but then Steve squeezed her hand, and yes, they were sitting very close together, holding hands.

‘This really isn’t what it looks like’, Darcy said, letting go of his hand and putting some space between them.

‘Yeah’, Steve snorted. ‘We were actually talking about how I’m gay for you.’

Bucky narrowed his eyes at that.

‘You know what?’, he said. ‘I don’t wanna know’.

With that, he turned around and left.

Darcy was blushing, she knew she was, so she shook herself out of the embarrassment and retreated to her usual end of the couch, finally grabbing her book and reading.

Steve shuffled a bit, putting his legs up on the couch and pushing the soles of his feet to Darcy’s outer thigh.

Two hours later, Bruce came in, leveling Steve with a look.

‘So. How do you feel about gay demi-gods?’

Steve snorted. ‘They’re pretty awesome.’

He winked at Darcy at he said it, and really, she blushed too much this Sunday. Way too much.

ΔΩΔ

When Steve finished reading  _Blood of Olympus_ , he turned to Darcy with big eyes.

‘Please tell me Nico gets with Will.’

Darcy laughed. ‘We’re not sure, but there’s another series that’s going to be coming out, _The Trials of Apollo_. Hopefull, we’ll find out more then.’

Steve whined.

ΔΩΔ

It happens during a siege. An alien siege, of course.

They weren’t particularly powerful, nor did they have a lot of weapons, but they took the Avengers by surprise.

So Darcy was stuck with Captain America, Hawkeye and the Black Widow in the common room, with about 7 aliens.

The aliens incapacitated the Avengers, but they left her alone. Obviously, she was no threat.

But she was very close to a gun. No idea whose it was, but it was three feet from her. Darcy couldn’t get to it without the aliens seeing it, she needed a distraction.

‘Wise girl’, Steve suddenly said, in the middle of one of the alien’s evil speech. He was looking at Natasha, but Darcy knew he was addressing her.

‘Whenever you’re ready’, Steve said, and Darcy, she listened.

She took a few deep breaths, and when she saw that the aliens were focusing on Natasha, she moved as quickly as she could.

The Avengers started fighting just as Darcy’s fingers wrapped around the gun.

She managed to shoot two of the aliens, and the Avengers handled the rest.

Crisis adverted.

ΔΩΔ

Steve stopped bringing books after that.

Instead, he asked Darcy if she was willing to read Harry Potter to him. Of course, she agreed.

She agreed to a lot of things, meaning that she didn’t disagree with them.

With Steve putting his feet in her lap, or his head on her shoulder, or playing with the tips of her hair, or running in nails up and down her thighs.

ΔΩΔ

After Steve kissed her, Darcy called him Seaweed Brain, and teased him for taking so long.


	7. Darcy/Clint: Darcy vs the Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers need some press photos. In comes Darcy and her lens.

Needless to say, nobody is pleased when Maria says that they need to do press.

‘Look, it’s not something too complicated’, she argues. ‘You’ll answer, in writing, a couple of really simple, general questions and do a photoshoot. Two pictures, one full body shot and one closeup.’

‘That doesn’t sound too bad’, Clint points out.

‘It’s not’, Maria spares a look at him. ‘And some of you know the photographer. Jane Foster’s intern, Darcy Lewis.’

‘Ah!’, Thor grins. ‘Lady Darcy is an artist?’

‘She does do very artistic pictures’, Bruce says, and they all turn to look at him in various levels of shock.

‘I’ve worked with Doctor Foster before’, he shrugs. ‘You can’t have one without the other.’

‘She’s the one with the hot body and really bad puns, right?’, Clint says, and everybody turns to look at him, in various levels of disappointment. Except for Thor, who doesn’t even look when he slaps the back of his head.

‘Hey!’, he yelped. ‘I was there when you left New Mexico, buddy. You should be thanking me for taking care of your girls after you upped and left.’

Needless to say, Thor didn’t bother answering that.

‘Good, it’s settled then’, Maria says with a note of finality. ‘Darcy will work wonderful for the job, because she’s involved with the Avengers, but not that much, and she’s on the other side of things too, knows what your fans want. So. She’ll get in touch with you, be nice, or Thor will smite you.’

‘Aye!’, he agrees all too quickly.

Ḁ

Darcy starts with Thor, eases up into the whole deal.

He’s as sweet as ever, and he has no problem with encouraging her ideas and listening to her instructions.

So they take the pictures at a children’s science museum, in front of a wall with crude drawings of constellations in the Milky Way. Thor finds it hilarious.

He’s wearing his full battle gear with the armor and the cape, but they only keep that for the full body shot.

It’s a simple one, Thor’s back leaning against the wall, his feet crossed at the ankles, a few well placed pieces of tape to keep his cape to the side, Mew-Mew on the ground at his feet. His arms are crossed over his chest, thus making his massive arms the center of the picture.

The posture is relaxed, somewhat, but there’s still power in his eyes.

For the close-up, it’s another story. Darcy gets up close and personal, but Thor doesn’t shy from the lens.

His hair is down, a little bit messy, like the wind blew through it. His eyes are the focus of the picture, the impossible blue of them, but he’s smirking, and he still looks strong, but he also seems like a fun guy.

Thor likes the pictures, Darcy thinks. He smiles when he sees them, and gives her a hug.

Jane gets them printed for her lab.

Ḁ

Iron Man’s the next one available, and Darcy has no problem with doing the shoot in his lab.

She does, however, put her foot down when _he_ starts rattling out instructions.

So Darcy rants for a while, making sure to keep her voice up, but include her ideas as well, and when she’s done, Stark is staring at her.

‘Okay, you’re in charge. But I’ll kill you if you ever tell anybody I said that.’

So Stark isn’t wearing his suit.

In the full body shot, he’s wearing jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt and he’s standing in front of one of the metal tables in his lab, that is filled to the brim with stuff. His posture is stiff, he looks ready to attack, even if his hands are by his side. But he’s wearing the glove of a suit, just the right one, and he stares into the lens with a somewhat murderous look.

It’s hot.

For the close up, Darcy lets him get into full Tony Stark mode. So he’s smirking, flirting with her as she sets up her equipment, and Darcy flirts back, as shamelessly as he does, just to get him in the mood.

And it works, because in the final close up shot, Tony is winking and his tongue is peaking out. It’s flirty, but it’s fun.

When he sees the pictures, he says ‘Huh.’

Then he asks Darcy to e-mail them to Pepper, which she promises she will do.

Before she leaves his lab, Tony asks if she does weddings too.

Ḁ

Natasha is next, and it’s the one Darcy struggles with the most. But in the end, she had an idea that the Widow agreed with.

They shoot in a very, very fancy hotel room, decorated in a warm and slightly modern art nouveau style.

So for her body shot, Natasha is sitting down on a plush couch, light gray with a pattern of bright blue on it. The color matches the gadgets on her suit perfectly. She sits with her feet to the side, crossed like a true lady should, leaning against the back of the couch. She’s smiling, looking straight at the camera, and it looks evil.

It’s totally hot.

For the close-up, though, Darcy takes to telling her the story of how her photoshoot with Stark went. Natasha’s trying not to laugh, but it’s not very successful, so the final shot is of her looking down slightly, biting on her lower lip even as she’s smiling.

It’s oddly soft, Darcy thinks, and Natasha agrees, because she says that she didn’t think she could look like that anymore.

Ḁ

Captain America would have thrown himself off a plane for this shoot, if Darcy would have asked.

She didn’t. Instead, she asked him to dress casually and bring his shield to her favorite book store.

They take the pictures against a brick wall, which is why Darcy chose this place.

For the full body picture, the shield is propped up against the wall at his feet, and Steve puts his hands in the pockets of his jeans , looking at her with determination.

It took a couple of tries to get him to look like that, because Steve was the most awkward goofball Darcy has ever met.

But he’s loosened up by the time they move to the close up.

So when Darcy says a bad joke, he laughs, turning his head to the side, shutting his eyes and scrunching up his nose.

It’s a goofy picture, but Steve likes it, quite a lot, saying it makes him look human, which is a thing people forget he is.

Ḁ

Bruce would have been easy, if she wasn’t supposed to incorporate their Avenger-personas in the pictures.

But it seems Bruce likes her enough not to mind if she gets her hands over him. Well, over his neck.

He’s wearing a button up, as usual, bright purple, which she likes, it goes well with the coffee shop they chose to shoot in.

So Darcy asks him to unbutton the top buttons of his shirt, and she uses some makeup to paint just two messy stripes of green on the side of his neck.

Bruce, bless his sweet soul, flushed harder than Steve did, and he asked about a million times if she’s sure.

She was.

So for the full body shot, Bruce is causally sitting in a chair, against a wall covered in books. His elbow in on the table, his other hand is fisted by his side, and his head is turned, so that the green on his neck is visible. He doesn’t look angry, he just looks ready for a fight.

For the close-up, though, he’s not he Hulk, he’s Doctor Banner. His glasses are on, his hair is ruffled, the green on his neck is barely visible, and he looks straight into the camera, raising an eyebrow.

He doesn’t say that he likes the pictures, not really, he just says that they look so different, but that they’re both Bruce Banner.

Darcy takes that as a compliment.

Ḁ

Hawkeye answers her initial e-mail with “how do you feel about purple?” and a picture attached, of a purple wall with a bow hung on it, and a light blue couch.

Darcy doesn’t hesitate, but she would have, if she knew she would end up in Clint’s apartment.

But he offers her coffee, by the gallon, and he tries to keep Lucky away from her feet, as she’s setting up the equipment, and he makes jokes and begs for stories about the other Avenger photoshoots and Darcy doesn’t feel so awkward about being in his apartment.

She doesn’t use the purple wall, though.

Instead, for the full body shot, she makes him fake a phone call on the vintage looking land line. So his back is to her, and his head is turned, so he would still be recognizable. There’s a mess of arrows on the floor, and two different bows, three quivers, that Darcy didn’t even need to put there.

His ass is the center of attention. She doesn’t point this out, but when he sees the picture, Clint smirks and tells her that yes, he does have an amazing backside.

For the close-up, the cuts on his face are visible. And the center of attention. But he’s grinning, sideways, like a doofus, really, but there’s a challenge in his eyes, and something powerful.

Clint thinks he looks happy in that picture, and Darcy wants to find out why he looks so sad now, as he realized it.

Ḁ

It’s a couple of months later, before she actually moves into the Avengers tower.

In the common living room, which is actually a floor, above the bar, she finds her pictures.

Framed in silver, probably, neatly aligned and enhanced by strategically placed spot lights.

Full on display.

‘We expect more from where those came from’, a cheeky voice says, and Darcy turns around to find Clint smirking at her.

His expression turns serious, then, and he lowers his voice.

‘Seriously, though. We could use some more pictures. Of us, you know? Tony only has paparazzi shots, Steve only has pictures on film, Natasha made a point of her life to not leave a trail, where the hell would we even find casual pictures of Thor?!, and Bruce is too shy to even think about selfies.’

‘What about you?’, Darcy asks before he can go on.

He smirks at her, again. ‘The pictures of me were usually pained on fabric.’

Darcy frowns.

‘I’m a circus kid.’, he shrugs. ‘I’m used to the attention, but… we don’t need _everyone_ looking at us, you know? We just need…’

‘Memories?’, Darcy tries, when it’s clear he doesn’t know how to finish that sentence.

‘Yes’, Clint turns to look at her again. ‘Exactly.’

Darcy doesn’t say anything, about what she’s thinking, but Clint must see it on her face, because he rolls his eyes before he starts walking away.

‘And yes’, he says without actually looking at her. ‘I’ll pose for some body studies. You might even convince me to do it naked.’

He’s out the door, but he comes back three seconds later, grinning easily.

‘You don’t have to convince me, you just have to ask me out on a date.’

He leaves again, leaving Darcy with a blush on her cheeks and a billion potential pictures in her head.


	8. Kate/Clint: Happy Birthday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint, who doesn’t know when her birthday is. That it’s today.  
> She’s perfectly fine with that, has been for the past years.

Kate doesn’t care much about her birthday. The days of huge parties and galas were long gone.

Still, she took out her team for breakfast, which was nice, and she accepted hugs from everyone.

The rest of the day was spent watching tv, which was weird, because she couldn’t remember the last time she turned on her own tv. She usually watches Dog Cops at Clint’s.

Clint, who doesn’t know when her birthday is. That it’s today.

She’s perfectly fine with that, has been for the past years.

So when Clint texts her just as the sun goes down, asking if she’s up for some simple patrol, Kate doesn’t hesitate in suiting up and grabbing her quiver.

←←

The patrol is not so simple, not when they accidentally stumble upon the bros doing some shady things downtown.

The Hawkeyes manage to take out a good portion of the bros, but they were seriously outnumbered, so they fled.

Bruised, battered, bleeding, tired, they slowly made their way to Clint’s building.

Honestly, Kate didn’t know if she was holding him up, or if he was holding her up.

Just the thought of having to clean up her wounds made her feel even more tired. The thought of having to help Clint clean up his made her exhausted.

But the thought of Clint’s couch, of his coffee and his dog, that will be what’ll make Kate push through her exhaustion.

Clint apparently had other plans.

Because he stopped walking just before they got inside of the building. He cursed under his breath, then he looked at her, then he looked at his feet, scratching the back of his neck and whining something that sounded suspiciously like “aw no Clint”.

‘What’s wrong?’, Kate asked, very confused.

‘I was gonna do this right’, Clint said, very dejected.

Instead of explaining or looking at her, though, Clint took the quiver off his back and started rummaging through it.

It took a while, and at one point Clint had his entire arm in there, but he finally pulled out three roses.

They looked worse for wear, slightly withered and with a couple of petals missing, but even in the semi-darkness of the street, Kate could tell that the roses were white, with the edges painted purple.

Clint extended the roses to her, smiling that soft, half-smirk he always did.

‘Seriously?’, she couldn’t help but ask.

He pouted, quite adorably, looking at his feet.

Kate took the roses, of course she did, and Clint looked back up when her fingers brushed his.

‘I didn’t think you knew it was my birthday’. The roses smelled nice. And they matched her suit.

Clint shrugged. ‘The proper present’s upstairs, but I wanted to give you the flowers while we were out. Didn’t think it’ll end this bad.’

‘There’s a present?’, Kate asked, way too excited and way too high pitched, because Clint snorted.

He also helped her up the stairs. Or maybe she helped him.

←←

Clint wanted to get cleaned up first. Kate didn’t agree, but they were both dripping blood everywhere, so she caved.

Thankfully, neither of them really needed stitches, so it didn’t take long, for Kate to be freshly showered, covered in band aids and gauze tape, wearing a pair of her sweatpants but his tshirt, not so patiently waiting for Clint to come out of the shower.

When he did, he was grinning and carrying a box, not so neatly wrapped in newspapers.

Kate was grinning like a maniac, she really was.

It was just that Clint only gave her presents twice before. Both of the times it was one of his bows, and one time in ended well, with them working together, and another time in ended badly, with Kate moving to the other side of the country.

But both those times, they weren’t really gifts. They were… means to an end.

‘You’re literally bouncing with excitement, Katie-Kate’, Clint smirked at her. He didn’t sit down next to her and Lucky on the floor, but on the couch instead.

‘Well, can you blame me?’, she grinned up at him, reaching for the gift. He kept it away from her, and Kate whined and pouted and did her very best puppy eyes at him.

All her troubles left him laughing loudly.

But he did give her the box, eventually, and Kate spent no time ripping the newspapers apart.

The box underneath them was black, but when she took the lid off, she was assaulted by purple. Her purple. Upon closer inspection, it was thin paper, the type which fancy clothes stores used.

But the box was too small for it to be a piece of clothing. She opened her mouth to ask, but then she noticed that on top of the purple paper, there was a small black jewelry box.

Kate started with that.

There was a pendant inside, on a small leather chain. It was a bullseye, his bullseye. Made out of silver, with a smaller circle incrusted in the middle.

It wasn’t very large, but it was large enough to be noticeable. Large enough to be seen on a cleavage, but small enough to be hidden under her suit.

It was kind of perfect. The moment she touched it, Kate knew she will be wearing it for a long, long time.

‘Do you like it?’, Clint asked, somewhat hesitantly.

‘I love it’, Kate’s eyes snapped to his. ‘I really do.’

Clint nodded, looking down and scratching the back of neck again.

‘Hey’, Kate poked at his knee, making him look at her again.

‘I know we’ve had this conversation before, but it was always at a bad time.’

Clint frowned and so did Kate, because she didn’t know exactly what she was saying, but she knew that she needed to.

‘We were fighting’, Kate shrugged, lowering her voice. ‘But you… you mean a lot to me. When we’re fighting and when we’re not. Even without expensive gifts or fighting side by side or stitching me up or giving me a couch to sleep on…’, she had to stop and take a deep breath, before looking right into Clint’s eyes. ‘You mean a lot to me.’

Something softened in his eyes, gradually, throughout her speech, and when Kate was done talking, Clint used his fingers to tilt her chin up, bending down slightly so he could kiss her forehead.

Smirking cheekily again, he winked at her when he pulled away.

‘Are you legal yet, Katie-Kate?’

All emotions or feelings she might have felt in that moment flew out the window. She glared.

‘I’ve been legal since last year.’

‘Good’, he grinned. ‘Then you should check your other present.’

Kate did exactly that, and her brain short wired completely.

Because there was an item of clothing in the box.

A pair of underwear.

That would fit her quite well.

That had the type of line she liked to wear.

That had a bullseye on them. Front and centered.

Not just a bullseye.

His bullseye.

And yes, the underwear were purple.

Which was their color, but there were differences. Most people didn’t notice it, but they did.

They knew their colors.

And these.

These underwear were _his_ color.

Kate put them back in the box. She looked up at Clint, fully intending on doing… something. Yelling, probably.

But she couldn’t.

Because Clint met her half way. He guided her head with a hand on her neck and he kissed her.

Now, look, it wasn’t like Kate hadn’t thought of this.

Hadn’t dreamt of this.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want this.

So Kate kissed him back.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, and she pushed against his lips, making Clint open them.

It was sweet, too sweet for how lethal Clint was. It was soft, too soft for how many bruises and cuts were on their skin.

And it was over way too fast for Kate’s liking.

Clint was smirking when he pulled away, eyes not leaving hers as he lounged back on the couch.

‘You should try them on.’, he said. ‘It’d be more fun to take those off of you than your old sweatpants.’

←←

Kate didn’t even make it to the bathroom to put them on.


	9. the day Steve Rogers was a cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [@wiz.](http://mr-stevens-head-of-catering.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (not a real pairing, if you squint you can pick and choose, really)

 

Steve and Fury still had that joke going on. The one where Fury would come to him with something ridiculous and impossible and out of this world, and Steve would say that nothing would surprise him anymore.

Well. Consider him surprised.

≡

It was supposed to be an easy mission. Very easy. It wasn’t even that much of a mission.

They discovered a Hydra outpost, that was deserted. Steve, Natasha and Clint were supposed to be in and out, just to see if Hydra left anything of value behind.

Nobody thought they’d run into an inhuman who was able to transform everything around him.

So, yes, Steve was very surprised, when he felt a weird cold tingle run through his body, when he felt and heard his shield hit the floor, and when there was a flash off pain, deep in his chest.

And yes, Steve was even more surprised, when he looked down and saw paws.

Orange striped with white ends, fluffy paws.

He was a cat.

Steve Rogers was now a cat.

Kitty, judging by his incredibly small size.

He could feel his tail.

‘Shit’, he said out loud, and thank god, he still had his voice.

Steve looked around, and saw his ear piece.

‘We have a problem’, he said into it.

‘Are you hurt?’, Bucky’s voice came through.

‘No’. That wasn’t a lie.

‘I’m on my way to you’, Natasha said, and Steve just waited.

When she came into the room, she didn’t see him, and she called his name.

‘Look down’, Steve said, and Natasha paused, visibly.

‘The inhuman said it’ll wear off in a day or two.’, Steve said next and Natasha moved.

She crouched down in front of him and studied him intently. His tail was moving, and when he realized it, he stopped.

Natasha cracked up. She laughed, a full on laugh he never really heard out of her.

‘Come on’, she said after she was done, extending a hand in front of his legs. ‘We need to get back to the jet.’

‘I can walk!’, he growled, but it came out more of a mewl. Cause he was a cat.

‘I’d rather you didn’t’, Natasha said, obviously trying not to laugh. ‘You’re… tiny. It’s safer off the ground.’

Before Steve could protest, she picked him up by the scruff of his neck and deposited him, gently, in the crook of her elbow.

It wasn’t as bad as he thought.

≡

Clint’s first reaction was to pet him.

Steve scratched his arm.

It was worth it, because the betrayed look in Clint’s eyes was marvelous.

‘Fine’, the archer breathed out. ‘Be that way, Stevie-Cat.’

‘Oh, no’, Steve said, as both Clint and Natasha snickered.

≡

Steve went into the debrief roof perched on Natasha’s shoulder. It was as humiliating as he thought it would be.

The debrief wrapped up quickly, because both Fury and Hill were incapable of stopping their laughing.

The assholes.

≡

Bucky was worse.

When Natasha took Steve to their apartment, Bucky freaked out.

At first, he yelled. Then, he laughed. Then, he cooed, finally picking Steve up and petting him.

Completely ignoring his swears and cries and colorful threats.

After Natasha left, Bucky kept cooing. And petting him. And feeding him milk, which was ridiculous, because Steve really wasn’t that thirsty.

At one point, Bucky came out of his room with a pocket laser. Steve promised to cut his hair in his sleep.

But, when Bucky turned the laser on and started waving it over the wall, Steve just _had_ to follow it. It was weird. He didn’t want to do it, but he had to.

He didn’t even care that Jarvis was instructed to record the whole thing. At least he was working out.

≡

Clint barged in without knocking.

‘So you were supposed to meet with the Young Avengers today.’, he said, and yeah, Steve just remembered.

‘Well I can’t, not like this.’

‘I told Kate there was an issue’, Clint nodded. ‘They’ll reschedule, when you’re back to your usual self, but she demanded pictures.’

‘No’, Steve said.

‘Maybe video’, Clint grinned, pulling out his phone.

Steve couldn’t make him stop, but he refused to play tricks. So he stood completely still as Clint snapped a bunch of pictures.

But then he opened up a video call with Kate.

‘Oh my gosh’, he heard her say, in a very subdued voice, ‘you are so cute.’

‘I can still kick your ass’, Steve said, because that’s how he and Kate worked.

‘Oh my gosh!’, she said a bit more forcefully. ‘That is so futzing weird.’

‘Well you’re not the one with a tail’, Steve couldn’t help but point out.

Kate smiled then, a bit softer.

‘You’re just as bitter as you always are. I hope you get back to normal, cause nobody’s going to take you seriously when you’re a fluffy cuddling machine.’

Bucky started laughing really hard at that, so Steve swiped at him, managing to leave his claw marks in his arm.

‘I should give you a bath’, Bucky said, menacingly. ‘Or catnip.’

Steve took one last swipe at Bucky, successfully tearing a whole in his shirt, and followed Clint out of the apartment.

≡

He ended up in the labs. Not Tony’s, Steve really wasn’t prepared to deal with that. Plus, he knew he was allergic.

No, he went to the lab that was shared between Doctor Foster and Bruce.

Of course, neither of them noticed the tiny tabby cat casually walking in.

Darcy did, though. She stared, but didn’t say anything, so Steve went to the desk she was sitting at.

She picked him up at settled him on top of a pile of papers on the desk, but Steve didn’t mind it.

‘It’s very weird.’, she said.

‘I know’, Steve answered.

She pulled a face. ‘That’s even weirder.’

Steve didn’t answer, but he made himself more comfortable, bending his front paws and putting his head on them.

‘Did you eat?’, Darcy asked, and this was normal, she always asked that.

‘Bucky kept giving me milk.’, Steve wanted to shrug, but all he managed to do was push a couple of papers off the desk with his tail.

‘Wait here!’, Darcy said. She didn’t pet him, exactly; she just ran a finger from his head down to the tip of his nose. He didn’t mind it.

When she came back, she brought him a small plate, with finely chopped pieces of apple and crumbled biscuits.

‘Thank you’, he said very sincerely, digging it. It was delicious.

So delicious, that he didn’t even mind that Darcy ran her hand over his snout when he was done, cleaning up stray pieces of food.

‘Is that Steve?’, Bruce said, finally noticing him.

‘Hi, Bruce’, he quipped, and swatted at his paw when he tried to pet him. Seriously. His friends.

Bruce shook himself off, and crouched down next to the desk, so they’d be eye to eye.

‘Are you okay?’

‘No. I’m a cat.’, Steve deadpanned.

‘I mean’, Bruce rolled his eyes. ‘Does anything hurt? Feel weird?’

‘No, I’m fine, and it’ll ware off soon enough.’

‘I kinda like Captain Meow’, Darcy piped up. ‘The Avengers could use a mascot.’

‘No’, Steve glared as much as he could. Then, he leaped off the desk and made his way out of the lab, ignoring Darcy and Bruce’s laughter.

Assholes. He was surrounded by assholes.

≡

He figured he’d convince Clint to let him watch some TV together. But Steve forgot about Clint’s dog.

Steve didn’t even make it to Clint’s door before Lucky started barking.

He wasn’t proud of it, but he ran out of there, even faster than he ran for that damn laser.

≡

Steve ended up in the common room, where Natasha was reading.

He got up on the couch, not caring about the claw marks he left in his wake, and he shamelessly snuggled up next to her, pushing his head into her thigh.

‘Long day?’, she asked, and Steve could hear the smirk in it, so he didn’t bother with an answer.

She didn’t say anything else, for which Steve was incredibly grateful. And when she started petting him, gently and still reading her book, Steve didn’t say anything either.

He fell asleep quickly, but he was aware of the fact that he started purring before that. It was too embarrassing to even think about.

≡

Steve woke up with his head in Natasha’s lap, and her hands in his hair, even if she was still asleep.

And he wasn’t a cat anymore. Thankfully.

Also, thankfully, he was wearing the clothes he was wearing before he got turned.

Natasha stirred awake, and blinked bleary eyed at him a couple of times.

Then, she scratched his stubble.

‘There’s the Steve we all know and love.’

Steve blushed, of course he did, but it didn’t stop him from rolling his eyes and pushing her hand away.

Clint walked in, then, with a cat safely cradled in his hands.

‘It’s okay, Kitty-Steve’, Clint was cooing at the cat, ‘we’ll get you something yummy to eat in no time.’

Natasha delicately cleared her throat, and Clint blinked up at them.

‘Made a new friend?’, Steve raised an eyebrow.

Clint looked back down at the cat in his hands. It meowed.

‘Who the hell are you?’, Clint asked the cat. Unsurprisingly, it mewed again, pushing her paw to his chest.

‘It likes you more than I do’, Steve pointed out, trying his hardest not to laugh.

Clint frowned. ‘Well’, he gulped, ‘I guess Lucky’s getting a baby sister.’

He checked.

‘Baby brother.’

Natasha snorted.

≡

Needless to say, the video of cat-Steve chasing that laser around goes viral.

And Darcy still calls him Captain Meow. Natasha keeps petting his hair, every once in a while.

And Clint named his new cat Kitty-Cap.

Steve wasn’t really that mad about it.


	10. Darcy/Bruce: Back to high school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce gets an invitation to speak at his high school. And so does Darcy.

He approached her carefully. Bruce usually did so with everyone, but considering her hands were shoved deep into a bowl of what looked like cookie batter, he thought even more caution was needed.

‘What do ya need, Doc?’, Darcy quipped, without even looking up at him.

‘I received an e-mail this morning.’, he said slowly. ‘Well, I’ve been getting it for the past couple of year, ever since the world found out, but today, I noticed that it was also sent to you.’

Darcy frowned down at the batter that she kept on beating. ‘I haven’t checked my e-mail since last night. What’s it about?’

‘It’s from Meadowdale. ’

That made her look up, curious. ‘The only e-mail I ever get from my old high school is about speaking at the graduation ceremony.’

‘That’s the one’, Bruce nodded.

‘Wait’, Darcy frowned. ‘So you went there too?’

He nodded.

‘In Dayton? Ohio?’

‘Yes.’

She just looked at him for a couple of seconds, but then she went back to her dough. ‘Okay then. So, what? You want to go?’

Bruce hesitated. ‘I never did before, no.’

Once again, she raised an eyebrow at him. ‘And now?’

‘It’s not that I want to go to Meadowdale, exactly. But I could use a couple of days out of this place.’

‘Right’, Darcy said, slowly. ‘Well, you should go, then. Do you still have family there?’

Bruce shook his head, looking down.

‘Sorry’, she was quick to say, before taking a deep breath. ‘Still, you should go. I’m sure you have some good memories there.’

He hesitated again, long enough that she looked up at him.

‘Oh’, she breathed out. ‘Do you want me to go with you?’

‘Not like that’, Bruce blinked. ‘But I…’

‘Sure’, she interrupted. ‘I mean…’, Darcy shrugged.

Bruce sighed. ‘Only if you want to, Miss Lewis. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do this right. I’m not going to go up on that stage and babble about all the cool stuff the Hulk’s been doing. No, I’m going to try my best to make a proper speech that might help some of those kids.’

‘That’s good’, Darcy smiled, a bit.

‘And you were invited too, and you’re younger than I am, and you have a different perspective on the Avengers than I do.’

‘So you want me to speak as well?’

Bruce nodded. ‘Only if you want. I’d like to… not do it all on my own, but I’m not going to force you into anything. It was just an idea.’

She tilted her head, obviously considering it.

‘I’ll do it’, Darcy said with confidence. ‘Not because I think I’ll do those kids any good, but because it’s a chance to get you out of your shell.’

Bruce frowned.

‘You’re a guarded person, and I get that’, she smiled. ‘But you’re also the only Avenger who hasn’t warmed up to me, who still calls me miss, not Darcy, not The Intern – like everyone else does and it’s annoying, that I know nothing about you. And, really, I managed to get Natasha to call me the little annoying sister she never wanted, I should be able to make you not run out of the kitchen every time you walk in for a cup of tea and I’m there.’

Bruce didn’t say anything, because he was shocked. He did that, but he did that with everyone. Except for the team.

He didn’t really think it was important. Not that Darcy wasn’t important, he knew she was. Last month, when she was kidnapped, the Avengers were absolutely ruthless in getting her back.

But he didn’t think he was that important to her.

‘I’ll e-mail the high school’, she grinned. ‘And arrange our transportations and things. Okay?’

‘Thank you’, Bruce managed to find his voice.

She winked at him, and went back to the dough.  

Γ

Two days later, he was in Tony’s lab when she came looking for him.

‘So, about sleeping arrangements’, Darcy said, leaning against the table he was working on.

Bruce frowned. ‘I was going to rent a hotel room.’

‘Sure, you could do that’, she nodded. ‘Or you could accept my brother’s offer of a spare room.’

‘No’, he was quick to refuse. ‘Thank you, but-‘

‘They know about you’, Darcy interrupted. ‘Matt, my brother, and Lucy, his wife. And their kid is at some sort of space camp, so there’s more than enough room in the house.’

‘I don’t think that would be wise’, Bruce said, painfully sincere.

Darcy shook her head. ‘It would be wiser, because you’d get a whole less press there than if you walk into a hotel. Plus, they’d leave you alone. You could lock yourself up in the guest room for the entire weekend and nobody would give you shit about it. They live at the edge of town, there’s a nice forest just a three minute walk away. So if the other guy would make an appearance, which I’m sure he won’t, but apparently you’re not, then he’d be able to make a run for it.’

Bruce still wasn’t convinced.

‘You know’, Tony said, ‘if The Intern wants to get into your pants, I’m thinking you should let her.’

Bruce glared at him, and Darcy groaned.

‘Is everything about sex with you?’

‘Yes’, Tony didn’t hesitate. ‘Yes it is.’

‘Well not for me’, she rolled her eyes, turning back to look at Darcy. ‘Come on, Doctor Banner. We said we’re going to get to know each other better. How are we supposed to do that if you’re tucked away in a crappy hotel room?’

She blinked up at him, with big eyes and pouty lips, and Bruce narrowed his eyes.

‘This is blackmail. Emotional blackmail.’

Darcy nodded, her expression not changing. ‘Is it working?’

Bruce sighed. And agreed to stay with her at her brother’s house.

Γ

He e-mailed her his speech two days before leaving. Her only answer was a picture of a cat wearing a graduation cap, and a single line. _Sounds perfect, Doc._

Γ

They flew in one of Tony’s private planes. It wasn’t a long flight, but it was awkward. Darcy was playing solitaire on her tablet, and Bruce couldn’t really focus enough on reading the book he brought.

‘Tell me about your family’, he startled her, but she did put away her tablet.

‘Matt’s 12 years older than me, and even though we had a rough relationship growing up, because of that, he’s always been very protective.’

‘He must have _loved_ you teaming up with the Avengers.’

Darcy snorted. ‘He accepted it. He knows that I’m stubborn, and once I knew, I couldn’t just walk away. And you’re all as protective as he is’, she grinned, ‘so I’m well taken care of.’

Bruce just smiled.

‘He’s a lawyer, and Lucy’s a nurse. I guess you could call them simple people, but they’re hard working and smart. And caring, very caring.’

‘Simple isn’t a bad thing.’, he pointed out, and she nodded.

‘They’ve been together since high school. It’s a whole fairy tale of a love story, it’s really sickening.’

He chuckled at that, but stopped when he saw that Darcy’s expression was a serious one.

‘Our parents died when I was 15. He’s been taking care of me ever since. We’re as close as siblings can get.’

‘Well, Miss Lewis’, Bruce breathed in, ‘I look forward to meeting him.’

Darcy playfully slapped his knee.

‘I think you can lose the Miss Lewis, _Bruce_. My name is Darcy.’

‘Darcy’, he nodded, accepting it.

Γ

Darcy’s brother was a very large man, way too large to have gotten his muscles in a court room.

But he called Darcy ‘Ladybug’, and he picked her up in a hug and spun her around a couple of times. He also strongly shook Bruce’s hand, and grinned effortlessly at him, introducing himself as Matt, the better Lewis sibling.

His wife was a beautiful woman, worn around the edges, probably because of her job. But she also hugged Darcy tightly, and there was a pile of home cooked food waiting for them in the kitchen.

After dinner, Darcy said that she was exhausted, and she wanted to catch up on sleep. Bruce was quick to agree with the plan.

He was unpacking in the guest room they put him in, wanting to head out for a shower, when Darcy knocked at his door.

She was wearing pajama bottoms with Steve’s shield on them, and a purple hoodie that Bruce was sure Clint bought in bulk. He couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Don’t laugh’, Darcy pouted. ‘I’m wearing my Hulk underwear too.’

His laughter quickly died out, replaced with a blush. ‘You’re not’, he said, very uncertain.

Darcy grinned, turned her back around, and lowered her bottoms just enough for him to see that she was indeed wearing underwear with crude versions of the Hulk on them.

‘Oh my god’, he put his hands over his face.

‘What? I need to represent my superheroes’, Darcy said, rather affronted.

‘You really don’t’, Bruce breathed out, managing to look at her.

She was grinning, of course.

‘Anyways’, she snorted. ‘I just wanted to let you know that my room’s across the hall. If you need anything, let me know. Or just go look for it yourself, the fridge and pantry are always stocked and the good teas are next to the coffee.’

‘Thank you’, Bruce had to smile. ‘I’m fine, I’ll just have a shower and sleep.’

‘Okay’, she bounced on the soles of her feet. ‘Well, goodnight, then.’

‘Night, Darcy.’

Γ

Bruce still woke up at 7, and he met Lucy in the kitchen, who was on her way to work, even if it was a Saturday.

‘I’m sorry, I’m already late’, she smiled apologetically. ‘Can you handle breakfast?’

‘Of course, don’t worry about it.’

‘And lunch?’, she winced.

Bruce chuckled. ‘I’m an adult, you know.’

‘Well Darcy’s not.’

He frowned. ‘Darcy’s a great cook.’

‘Oh’, Lucy all but shrieked. ‘She cooks for you?’

‘After… When we come back from a mission.’, he said, awkwardly looking down. ‘Comfort food.’

‘Of course she does’, Lucy shook her head, a smile on her lips.

She left soon after, and Bruce started breakfast. He fried some bacon and made some French toast, enough for Matt and Darcy.

Matt came down just as it was done, saying that he had to go into the office for a couple of hours. They ate together and talked easily about unimportant things, and it was nice.

Really, Bruce didn’t think it would be this nice.

These people were strangers, but they were Darcy’s family, her people.

And Bruce, he really liked Darcy. Yes, she was right, they didn’t know each other that well, but he’s been watching her from afar, since the moment she stepped into his lab and took his coffee order.

Darcy was a storm, filled with youthful enthusiasm and easy jokes. But she was also smart, sharp. She could easily keep up with Jane’s work, Bruce and Tony’s as well. Even if she didn’t understand everything, she got the basic of the science.

But she was also strong. Bruce saw it clearly, when they got her back from that kidnapping. She was crying, but she was also filled with rage and determination. She was bleeding and filled with bruises, but she wouldn’t leave until she got to punch the man who took her in the face.

Darcy was caring, always making sure they ate and slept and fussing over them after every mission. And now, she took Bruce into her home, into her life, just to get to know him.

Bruce was mulling over these thoughts when she came into the kitchen. She wasn’t wearing Clint’s hoodie anymore, but a shirt with Tony’s arc reactor. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were barely open and she was barefoot.

‘Coffee’, she said, throwing herself into the nearest chair.

Bruce wordlessly gave her a mug, and it was only after she drank half of it did Darcy manage to look up at him.

‘You sound like Clint.’, he pointed out.

Darcy huffed, but didn’t deny it.

Bruce gave her a plate of food, and he drank another cup of coffee as she ate.

After he was done, Bruce saw the exact moment she went into working mode. She straightened her shoulders, put her hands on the table and leveled him with a look.

‘The ceremony starts at 2, but we should be there a bit before that. We’ll take Lucy’s car, I’m driving, and we should be ready to go by 1.’

‘Yes, sir’, Bruce nodded, seriously.

‘Good’, she winked. ‘What are we doing until then?’

‘Read?’, he shrugged. ‘Watch tv? Chill, as you kids call it.’

Darcy rolled her eyes. ‘You’re not that old, but it’s a good plan. Pizza for lunch?’

‘You just had breakfast and you’re already thinking about lunch?’

She glared, making him laugh.

Γ

Darcy watched some show on Netflix, and Bruce read. They were on different sides of the couch, but at some point, after she brought them tea, Darcy put her feet in his lap.

He didn’t mind, he got comfortable making sure to accommodate her.

Matt joined them at some point, and Bruce kept on reading, even as the siblings were catching up in the background.

Γ

Darcy looked beautiful.

She always did, but now she looked very put together.

In a black pencil skirt, a white buttoned up blouse and a red blazer. She had nude heels on, a soft red lipstick and her hair was curled.

‘You’re not doing it again, are you?’, Matt leveled her with a look. ‘What you did at your graduation?’

Darcy grinned, somewhat evilly. Dread pulled in Bruce’s stomach.

‘What did you do?’

‘Senior year was a wild ride’, she started explaining. ‘A teacher caught me and the star quarterback in an empty closet. The dude was half naked, and of course, everybody kept calling me a slut, even if all I was doing was helping him design a tattoo. Anyway’, she waved a hand, ‘I walked at graduation, but before I got off the stage, I took off my gown, and I was wearing the skimpiest, sluttiest outfit I could find.’

‘There were fishnet stockings’, Matt said. ‘And leather shorts.’

Darcy grinned, very proud of herself.

‘You’re not planning anything like that now?’, Bruce asked, hopefully.

‘Of course not’, Darcy snickered. ‘I’m an adult now.’

Somehow, that didn’t assure him.

Γ

There was a moment that made Bruce pause.

As they were going up the stairs to the stage, Bruce took Darcy’s hand. She was wearing high heels, he didn’t want her to trip.

And Darcy squeezed his fingers, blushing beautifully as she smiled softly at him, over her shoulder.

His heart did something weird in his chest, that he hasn’t felt in a long time, and Bruce ignored it.

He had to.

Γ

His speech went pretty well.

The kids appeared to be listening to him intently.

Bruce never once mentioned the Avengers, or the Hulk. Instead, he talked about what every student should take from their high school years, no matter how much they hated going through them.

He got applause at the end of it, and Darcy winked at him as she made her way to the microphone.

‘So’, she started, ‘for those of you who have no idea who I am, which, I am aware are most of you, my name is Darcy Lewis, Meadowdale class of 2011. You don’t know me, because I am not an Avenger.’

There was silence over the crowd.

‘I am, however’, Darcy grinned, ‘an Avenger handler. They call me The Intern, because that’s how it all started, when I was an intern for Doctor Jane Foster, you know her, right? Thor’s girlfriend, figured out how to open back the bridge to Asgard, all that. Anyway.’

She took a deep breath.

‘I’m not just an intern. I’m a friend. I’m the ones who reminds Iron Man to shower after he forgets to leave his lab for three days and I brought Thor’s first pair of jeans. I’m the one who introduced Captain America to cat videos on youtube, and I’m the one who helps Hawkeye tag his trick arrows. I remind Bruce there’, she even pointed at him, ‘that he needs to eat, I remind Doctor Foster that she needs to sleep, I braid the Black Widow’s hair every night and one time, I baked Nick Fury a chocolate cake that he refused to let everyone else touch.’

‘You don’t know me because I’m not important. That’s what everyone thinks, at least. I’m a failure, because I have a poli-sci major that I barely got to finish, and because now I’m a glorified secretary.’

Bruce almost got out of his chair at that, but Darcy went on.

‘And that’s all crap, because yeah, I’m not as important as Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Hawkeye and the Black Widow. I’m not as important as them in this world. But in their world, I’m important because I take care of them and I remind them to be normal every once in a while.’

‘There is a point to this speech, and here it is: I know for sure that all of you have thought, at least once, that they’d like to save the world. I think you should always remember that thought, and try your best to fulfill it. I’m not saying you should all become superheroes, really, don’t do that, it’s horrible. It’s hard work, and it’s bloody and it’s a short life. But…’

She grinned then.

‘You can all become heroes. Save the world in your own means. Recycle. Give money to charities. Volunteer. Become Professor X’s secretary. Stitch Daredevil up next time you find him in your dumpster. Do whatever you can to make this world a better place. The Avengers are doing their best’, she smiled, sparing a look at Bruce, ‘but we’re all living on this planet, it’s in our best interest to make it the most badass planet in the Universe.’

There was a kid in the back rows that cheered at that.

‘That’s right!’, Darcy pointed a finger at him, grinning.

‘Do your best, Meadowdale class of 2016! Push papers around, discover a new chemical element, design the perfect red lipstick for superheroes to wear into battle, dust the president’s office, whatever it takes!’

There was a long, loud round of applause after that, and Bruce joined in. Darcy grinned at him more that she grinned at the crowd.

Γ

After dinner, Darcy got out a bottle of wine, which the four of them drank while watching tv in the living room.

When Matt and Lucy went to sleep, Darcy got out another bottle.

And another.

By the end of it, she was snuggling next to Bruce on the couch.

‘I have a question’, she whispered, and her voice only slurred slightly.

Bruce nodded, wearily.

‘The reason why you’re not seeing anyone’, Darcy poked a finger in his knee, ‘is it because you haven’t found anybody good enough yet, or because you’re scared of the other guy?’

He wasn’t as drunk as she was. Either way, he knew perfectly well that she already knew the answer.

‘Well that’s stupid’, Darcy puffed out. ‘You live in the Avengers tower, I’m sure every woman in there is strong enough to handle the fact that you turn into a green raging monster and save people.’

‘I don’t always save people’, Bruce couldn’t help but point out.

‘Bullshit’, Darcy said, with feeling, pushing her cheek to his shoulder.

Bruce didn’t find it in him to think of answer.

‘I think you should’, Darcy sighed, closing her eyes. ‘Look for someone.’

‘And I think you should go to sleep’, Bruce said gently.

Surprising him, Darcy got up from the couch. She wobbled on her feet, and Bruce extended his hands, ready to catch her. But she didn’t need it.

Darcy put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his forehead, letting her lips linger there for a few seconds to long.

Γ

‘Your speeches went viral’, is the first thing Tony said to them when they got back.

‘No, really, the video is called _How to not be an Avenger when you’re an Avenger, and how to be an Avenger when you’re not an Avenger_.’

Darcy shared a look with Bruce. She looked proud, he looked very confused.

‘So how was the sex weekend?’, Tony went on.

Bruce sighed, and Darcy punched Stark in the shoulder on her way up to her apartment.

Γ

The next time Darcy brought him coffee, she was wearing a dark shade of red lipstick, and his cup had the imprint of her lips on the side.

He stared at it long after the coffee got cold.

Γ

All good things in Bruce’s life always came with a price, so this happens in the middle of a battle.

The tower is under attack, Bruce doesn’t know what is attacking, but he knows that Steve ordered him not to let the Hulk out.

So he sits in the lab. He shoves Jane into a supply closet and locks her in, and he stays outside, guarding, just in case.

Darcy runs in, bleeding from a cut on her arm.

‘I’m fine’, it’s the first thing she says. ‘Where’s Jane?’

‘I locked her in the closet’.

Darcy nods, relieved, and Bruce goes to his desk, when he keeps a few medical supplies.

It’s not much, but he sits Darcy down and cleans up her wound, wrapping it up as best as he can.

When he’s done, he looks up, fully intending to say something encouraging, when Steve’s voice comes over from the speaker.

‘Bruce, code green. Get on the roof and code green.’

‘The elevator on the west corner is still operational’, Friday’s voice goes on, and Bruce takes a deep breath, before moving to leave.

Darcy doesn’t let him. He wraps one hand around his wrist, and the other around his neck.

And she kisses him.

It’s not long, but it’s needy, because she’s breathing heavily against his lips and she pushes her lips to his with little finesse and a lot of strength, and her nails are digging into his skin in two places and it all leaves him breathless.

Bruce stares at her when she pulls back and she squeezes his wrist one more time before letting go.

‘Go save the world’, she smiles at him. ‘You can decide what to do about me after that.’

He doesn’t leave until Darcy is safely tucked away in the closet with Jane.

Γ

He doesn’t even need Natasha’s lullaby to turn back to human. That’s probably because he’s in a hurry, to get back to the lab.

Bruce gets Friday to open the closet door, and both of the women on the other side yell.

He gently pulls Jane out, letting her know that Thor’s waiting for her in the common room. Darcy moves to get out of the closet as well, but Bruce doesn’t let her.

Instead, he gets inside the closet with her, and even though there’s more than enough room, he crowds her against the nearest shelf.

‘Seriously?’, Darcy takes a sharp breath. ‘You don’t need to think this through?’

Bruce shakes his head, grinning, really, boldly putting his hands on her waist.

‘And, seriously?’, she goes on, ‘in a closet?’

‘The rest of the tower is trashed.’, Bruce shrugged. ‘Plus, this is private.’

‘Doctor Banner’, Friday’s voice interrupts whatever Darcy was going to say. ‘Mr. Stark is looking for you.’

‘Tell him you don’t know where I am.’, Bruce answers without missing a beat.

‘Sir, that goes against my protocols.’

‘Friday’, Darcy says, wrapping her hands around his shoulders, ‘tell Stark that Bruce is busy getting into my pants.’

Bruce pushes his forehead against her neck, and he laughs under his breath, as Darcy runs her fingers through his hair.

It’s not long before Friday says something.

‘Mr. Stark would like you to know that you have an hour.’

‘Better make good of that, right?’, Darcy whispers, and it’s all the incentive Bruce needs to kiss her.

For an hour or so.


	11. Darcy/Bucky: meet cute, meet cute, meet cute, meet awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three times The Winter Soldier met Darcy, and one time Darcy met Bucky

**ΔOne**

Darcy’s no damsel in distress. She might not be strong, but she’s sharp, and fast, and she has a badass taser on her at all times.

But this guy is massive, and he came out of nowhere. Darcy was walking home from Jane’s and he just appeared in front of her, grabbed her hands and shoved her into an alley.

He was still holding onto her wrists, so she couldn’t get to her taser.

And he was rutting up against her, saying nasty things in her ear, and he smelled like cheap beer and it was disgusting.

She heard rapid footsteps, but the guy didn’t, because he wasn’t prepared for someone to grab him and throw him to the ground.

Her savior was a large man, wearing all black and a blue baseball cap. Even though Darcy’s attacker was bigger, her savior had no problem with pushing the guy to the ground and bashing his head into the pavement, twice.

He wasn’t dead. Probably. He was just unconscious. Maybe.

Darcy’s savior turned to look at her, but she couldn’t really see his face, because of his baseball cap and because the alley was virtually unlit.

‘Did he hurt you?’, he asked in a rough voice.

Darcy shook her head.

‘Are you sure?’, he took a miniscule step towards her.

‘I’m fine.’, she said a bit too breathlessly. ‘Thank you.’

‘You should go’, he nodded, before taking off in a run.

Well then. Darcy shrugged and went on her way home, this time keeping her taser in her jacket pocket.

 

**ΔTwo**

It’s too early in the morning for Darcy to even care when someone bumps into her.

Even if the elbow was incredibly strong and when it connected with her stomach it hurt, and even if she dropped her bag.

She just stared down at it.

‘Fuck’, she said.

Then there was someone picking up her bag. A man in a red hoodie.

He collected all the things that fell out onto the pavement. Her wallet, her glasses case, a pen, a notebook, her ipod, her taser.

He didn’t even hesitate on the taser.

‘I’m sorry’, he said after he got up, extending the bag to her.

He had pretty eyes, was the first thought Darcy had. And then she realized that she didn’t care, because it was way too early for anything.

‘It’s okay’, she said. ‘Today sucks anyways.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s not even 8 AM yet.’

‘Yes, and I’m awake’, she snapped, ‘So today sucks ass.’

He blinked at her for a couple of awkward seconds, without any expression on his face.

‘I’ll leave you to it, then’.

And he was gone.

Darcy went on with her awful ass sucking day.

 

**ΔThree**

Jane thought she was insane because of it, but the first thing Darcy did when they moved to New York was to head down to Brooklyn, for what the internet told her was the best pizza in New York.

Even if it was past midnight. Thankfully, the pizza place was still open.

Deserted, but open. Darcy ate her pizza there, and it was as delicious as she hoped.

She was just about to get up and leave when a shadow loomed over her table.

It took her a few beats for Darcy to realize that the man who was next to her, in a pizza joint in New York, was the same guy who ran into her in Virginia. And then, she realized that he was wearing all black and a blue baseball cap, just like the man who saved her from that rapist.

‘It’s late’, the man said gruffly. ‘I’m going to walk you to the subway.’

‘This is weird’, Darcy said, but when he just raised an eyebrow, she packed her things and followed him out.

It was a silent walk, and Darcy was dying to say something, anything, but it was also a short walk, so she didn’t have enough time to think about anything smart enough.

‘Thank you’, she said when he stopped walking, before she had to go down to the subway station.

He didn’t say anything, he just tilted his head to the side, before nodding once and walking away.

 

**ΔPlus one**

She’s there when everything between Iron Man and Captain America goes down. And she’s there when things calm down.

And she’s there when Steve comes back with his long lost friend, Bucky Barnes.

He’s hot. Very hot. So hot that Darcy has to take a deep breath when Steve introduces them.

‘We’ve met’, Bucky says, shocking her into silence. ‘Briefly.’

Darcy has to blink for a while, and narrow her eyes for a bit there, and she goes as far as pulling the hoodie he’s wearing over his head.

‘Oh, wow’, she finally breathes out. ‘My knight in shining armor is a brainwashed Captain America groupie from the 40s.’

‘You’re welcome’, Bucky says gruffly, raising an eyebrow.

‘Hey’, Darcy lightly punches his shoulder, completely ignoring the way Steve has a kneejerk reaction at that.

‘I would have said a proper thank you, if you wouldn’t have run off every time after you saved my ass.’

‘In my defense’, Bucky points a finger, ‘I was on the run. But I’m not anymore, so here’s your chance.’

‘So I’m taking you out for coffee’, Darcy shrugs. ‘Okay.’

‘How about I take you out for dinner instead?’, Bucky frowns.

Darcy rolls her eyes. ‘ _I’m_ supposed to be thanking you.’

‘Fine’, Bucky rolls his eyes right back. ‘So you’ll get the coffee today and I’ll get the dinner tomorrow.’

‘Fine’, Darcy nods. ‘Get Friday to let me know when you’re done with the tour, and I’ll pick you up.’

‘Great’, he says gruffly. But then Bucky winks at her, says 'Great' again a bit more softly, and he's smiling as he's turning around and leaving.

Darcy goes back to work.

‘What just happened?’, Steve asks, and wow, Darcy totally forgot he was still there.

‘I got a date with your best friend.’, she winks. ‘Who, before this, saved me from a rapist, knocked my bag to the ground and walked me to the subway, all without ever introducing himself.’

Steve keeps gaping at her, understandably.

‘I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it’, Darcy points out. ‘If you ever catch up with him.’

Steve curses under his breath and all but runs out of the lab, leaving a very excited Darcy behind.

She has a date!


	12. Peggy/Jarvis: T minus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A countdown is a sequence of backward counting to indicate the time remaining before an event is scheduled to occur. NASA commonly employs the term "T-minus" during the preparation for and anticipation of a rocket launch.

**_T minus 4 hours 27 minutes_ **

Watching Miss Carter fight will always be a marvelous experience for Edwin.

No matter how many times he has seen her fight, no matter how many times he has fought side by side her, no matter how many times they had trained together, it always brought him great pleasure to watch her fight.

She was a vision, Miss Carter. The strongest woman he has ever met. And that’s saying something, because he once saw his mother kill a badger with a soup spoon.

‘Well, Mr. Jarvis’, she said, straightening her back. Her hair was barely ruffled and there were seven men groaning at her feet.

‘Now that that’s taken care of, thank you for the assistance, by the way-‘

He shrugged at her raised eyebrow. ‘Miss Carter, it looked like you had it all under control.’

She hummed. ‘Would you please help me search? They might have information about Frost here, especially her location.’

‘Of course, Miss Carter’. There was no hesitation, there never was, where she was concerned.

He supposed Ana did have a point.

 

**_T minus 4 hours_ **

‘Right, Mr. Jarvis’, she piped up, fastening her seat belt. ‘Let’s go.’

He checked the time and swore, mentally.

‘I do apologize, Miss Carter, but there is an errand I have to run.’

‘What errand?’, she frowned.

He didn’t find the strength to tell her yet.

‘It is imperative that I be there, Miss Carter.’

She didn’t say anything, and when he looked up, she was watching him with a concerned expression. Edwin realized that his tone might have been too harsh.

‘Is everything alright?’, Miss Carter asked in a soft voice.

He shook his head. ‘I have just enough time to drop you off at the office.’

‘Do you expect this errand to run long?’

Edwin frowned. ‘It shouldn’t, no.’

‘Then I’m coming with you.’, Miss Carter said without hesitation.

Once again, he didn’t find the strength to refuse.

 

**_T minus 3 hours 40 minutes_ **

When Miss Carter moved to unbuckle her seatbelt, he stopped her by putting his hand over hers. They both startled.

‘You want me to wait in the car?’, she asked, clearly disapproving.

‘Yes’, he nodded, avoiding her gaze. ‘I fear I have upset Ana more than enough.’

She didn’t say anything for a while, but she did gently remove her hand from under his.

‘Mr. Jarvis’, she said softly, ‘why do you need to be at a lawyer’s office?’

He swallowed. ‘To sign the divorce papers.’

Miss Carter didn’t say anything. She opened her mouth, several times, but no words came out. He couldn’t stand to see the pity in her eyes.

‘I shall return soon, Miss Carter’, he said as strongly as he could. ‘If you’ll excuse me.’

She let him leave.

 

**_T minus 2 hours 55 minutes_ **

It didn’t hurt as much as he thought, writing his name on the dotted line.

Ana smiled at him.

‘I do not regret this, Edwin.’, she said, softly. ‘You shouldn’t either.’

Easier said than done, really.

‘And I don’t resent you’, she went on. ‘I understand that our lives are going in different directions now, we want different things. We shouldn’t blame anyone for this.’

He wanted to believe her, he really did.

‘I do still love you’, she grinned at him, resting her hand on his shoulder as she sweetly kissed his cheek.

‘As do I, Ana’, that much was true.

She guided him out of the office and they both stopped outside. Miss Carter was leaning against the car, her sunglasses on and her hands crossed over her chest.

‘You’re working.’, Ana said. ‘Of course you are.’

Still, she made her way to Miss Carter’s side and politely bid her hello.

Miss Carter was awkward, clearly. She kept glancing at him, and he didn’t know what she was looking for.

‘We’re fine’, Ana finally said, rolling her eyes. ‘This is just how our lives were supposed to go.’

‘I’m sorry’, Miss Carter said, and Edwin knew she meant it. It hurt him more than it should have.

‘Nonsense’, Ana waved her off. ‘You have nothing to be sorry for, Peggy.’

She hugged her then, and Edwin had to smile. His wife’s… ex-wife’s heart was still in its right place, and Miss Carter was as awkward as she always was when it came to hugs.

‘Take care of him, will you?’, Ana told her, but Edwin still heard her. And he saw Miss Carter nodding, rather enthusiastically.

And then Ana was gone.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’, Miss Carter asked and really, wasn’t that the question of the hour?

‘There hasn’t been any moment to spare’, he answered, and that wasn’t a lie. They have been going after Frost all day, every day, for the past months.

And he couldn’t have told her, how could he? Ana didn’t blame him, really, but she did think that Miss Carter was the reason why he distanced himself from her.

Honestly, he didn’t know if she was right or not.

Most times, he thinks not.

But other times, he thinks that yes, Miss Carter is definitely the reason why he fell out of love for his wife.

Like right now. Miss Carter was looking softly up at him, gently and comfortingly holding his shoulder.

‘I truly am sorry, Mr. Jarvis.’

‘It’s quite alright, Miss Carter’, he forced himself to smile. ‘People fall out of love. It wasn’t fair to either of us to keep lying to ourselves.’

She bit on her lower lip, taking her hand away.

‘I can’t help but fear I had a doing in this.’

Edwin smiled, because of course. Not only was she the strongest woman he has ever met, she was also the smartest.

‘It does not matter anymore, Miss Carter.’

She took a sharp intake of breath. ‘That wasn’t a denial.’

‘I think that our relationship, our working relationship’, he quickly backtracked, ‘has become an important, standing point in my life, and Ana…’

‘There wasn’t room for her anymore?’

‘Yes’, he sighed. ‘Yes.’

‘I wish there was a way for me to fix it.’, Miss Carter said, her voice barely heard over the commotion of the street.

‘There’s nothing to fix, Miss Carter’, Edwin said with as much strength as he could. ‘What’s done is done, and it is for the best.’

He took a deep breath.

‘Now come on, there’s work to be done, is there not?’

She smiled up at him, shaking her head softly.

She also kissed his cheek, which left him more breathless than it should have.

 

**_T minus 2 hours_ **

‘There’s nothing here’, Miss Carter all but growls, and he understands her frustration.

They found nothing, no trace of Whitney Frost, even if the information should have been sound, because the men she took out two hours ago were supposed to be close to her.

‘Let’s get you back to the SSR’, he tries. ‘Maybe Chief Sousa has found something new.’

She agrees, and twenty minutes later, they are both walking into the seemingly innocent talent agency. The woman behind the desk freaks out, for lack of a better word, when Miss Carter announces that Mr. Jarvis will be joining her, but she doesn’t pose any resistance.

Chief Sousa shakes his hand and doesn’t bat an eye about his presence there. And he doesn’t hesitate in speaking about the case with Edwin there to listen.

Sadly, he doesn’t have any new information, and Miss Carter doesn’t even try to hide her frustration.

‘Go home, Peggy’, the Chief finally says. ‘Take a night off, have some dinner, watch a picture, relax for a change.’

‘I don’t think I remember how to do that’, she chuckles.

‘I’m sure Mr. Jarvis will be more than willing to teach you’, the Captain rolls his eyes, and he all but pushes them out of his office before either of them can respond.

‘Home, Miss Carter?’, he asks after they are both in the car.

‘Home, Mr. Jarvis’, she sighs. ‘Home.’

 

**_T minus 1 hour 30 minutes_ **

Miss Carter says she isn’t that hungry, but she does pick up some fruit and biscuits, along with a cup of tea.  She takes them to her room, and Edwin doesn’t bother cooking anything for himself, par from some easy sandwiches.

 

**_T minus 1 hour 10 minutes_ **

He showers quickly, but doesn’t put on his sleeping attire yet. It’s still early, barely 8pm. Instead, he opts for a pair of slacks and a tshirt.

He grabs the book he’s currently reading and a glass of bourbon, and makes his way out to the pool.

Thankfully, Mr. Stark is out of town, so the area is empty and silent.

He sits down on a lounge chair, takes a small sip of bourbon, and starts to read.

 

**_T minus 1 hour_ **

‘Do you mind?’, Miss Carter asks, startling him.

She’s standing close to the lounge chair next to his, wearing a red bathrobe and slippers, a big towel in her hands. It’s been a while since he’s seen her without make up.

He smiles, before he can stop himself.

‘Not at all, Miss Carter.’

She smiles back, and methodically steps out of her slippers and robe.

Her bathing suit is a simple one, covering a lot more than the ones this swimming pool has seen. Edwin doesn’t think he’s supposed to mention that the blue suit matches Captain America’s fighting gear, but he does notice it.

Edwin notices a lot of things that he isn’t proud of.

The strong muscles in her legs. The way her hips sway when she makes her way to the other side of the pool. The curve of her neck, as she turns her head around to braid it up. The bright red color of her nails and how well they look against her thigh.

The way she grins at him before gracefully and expertly jumping into the pool.

He takes a deep breath, a small sip of bourbon, and goes back to his book.

 

**_T minus 30 minutes_ **

Miss Carter doesn’t say anything when she steps out of the pool, she doesn’t bid him goodnight when she makes her way back into the house.

He tries not to stare at the way her wet hair sticks to her skin.

 

**_T minus 20 minutes_ **

She comes back, wearing a pair of sleeping bottoms and what he knows is one of Mr. Stark’s shirts.

‘It’s not like he’s using it at the moment’, she shrugs, completely unperturbed.

Her hair is still wet, and she brought a glass for herself and the bottle of bourbon. She tops off his glass, before sitting down on the lounge chair next to his, facing him.

Edwin closes his book and mimics her position, because it’s clear that she wishes to talk.

‘Mr. Jarvis’, she starts, not looking at him, but rather at her lap. ‘I wish you would have told you about the problems in your marriage before.’

‘Why?’, he asks, highly confused.

‘Because I would have removed myself from the equation.’, Miss Carter says strongly. ‘I wouldn’t have asked for your help anymore, and-‘

‘Miss Carter’, he can’t help but smile. ‘If you honestly believe that I would have let you do that, then you don’t know me at all.’

She looks up at that, and he can’t really read the look in her eyes. It’s soft, too soft for such a powerful woman, but he’s thankful to see that she doesn’t look with pity at him anymore, like she did outside of the lawyer’s office.

‘I do know you, Mr. Jarvis’, she smiles. ‘Maybe that’s the problem.’

He frowns. ‘Is there a problem? I don’t want there to be a problem, not in our partnership.’

She chuckles at that, and it’s an immediate response, the way he smiles back at her.

‘You’re important’, she says next, stunning him into silence. ‘You’re important to my… mission, let’s say. And I would have put you on the SSR pay roll months ago, if Howard hadn’t assured me that he got it covered.’

He rolls his eyes at that, a bit of the tension easing from his shoulders.

‘He does has it covered’, Edwin assures her. ‘He has always had it covered.’

‘What does that mean?’, she smiles.

‘It means that I could have retired years ago’, he shakes his head. ‘That’s Mr. Stark for you.’

‘Right’, Miss Carter smiles back.

She’s silent for a couple of seconds, time in which Edwin notices that there still is something on her mind, because of the way she’s tapping her fingers against her leg, and because of the tight line her shoulders are sat at.

‘Miss Carter, is something wrong?’

She shakes her head, before meeting his eyes.

‘You’re important’, she says, voice barely above a whisper, but not wavering. ‘You’re important to me. You have been a friend when everybody else has doubted me, and you have been the best partner any agent could ask for. Any person could ask for.’

He really hopes she can’t hear how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

‘Peggy’, Edwin says, surprising even himself. ‘I truly hope that will never change.’

 

**_T minus 10 minutes_ **

She’s silent for a long while, looking into the pool. Edwin doesn’t want to break the moment, so he keeps silent as well.

He tries not to stare at her, and he’s mostly successful. But it’s hard, when she’s so soft. In her sleeping attire, with her hair loose and face fully devoid of makeup.

‘I am in your debt, Mr. Jarvis.’, she finally says, and he can’t help it, he laughs.

‘Never, Miss Carter.’

‘You have had no reason for what you have done’, she insists. ‘I have put you in harm’s way countless times, and you have saved my life even more than that. And I feel that I shall never be able to repay you.’

‘That is not true’, he starts by saying, slowly, trying to make sense of the thoughts running in his head. ‘Everything I have ever done by your side has been my choice, and my choice only.’

‘But that’s not true, because you only came by my side because of Howard.’

‘That may be, but I could have said no. And I didn’t.’

He pauses, pressing his lips together.

‘I was a soldier. Even though I haven’t learned much combat, I was… am still a soldier. And it’s hard to take the war out of someone.’

She’s frowning, understandably. He’s not explaining this right.

‘What I want you to understand, Miss Carter, is that I missed the war. And as horrible as it sounds, by your side I get my fix.’

‘That is horrible, yes’, she says, not unkindly. ‘But I do understand.’

‘There’s something more that I have kept from you.’

He might as well do it now. He’s been pushing it off, telling her about this. It feels like now is the best time to do it.

‘What?’, she frowns, leaning forward in her seat.

‘The winter of ’44, my battalion was taken by Hydra.’

Her entire face falls, then, and she takes a sharp intake of breathe.

‘Steve saved you.’

‘Yes’, Edwin nods. ‘I was there.’

‘Oh, Mr. Jarvis’, she sighs. ‘I had no idea.’

‘Because I didn’t tell you’, he points out. ‘Because it wasn’t important.’

‘And… now it is?’, she frowns.

‘Yes, because I need you to understand that my reasoning lays far beyond … your pretty face or Mr. Stark’s order.’

She laughs at that, hard, tilting her head back. After she sobers up, she leans forward again.

‘Your reasoning lies in Steve.’

‘Maybe’, Edwin shrugs. ‘But I don’t think that’s a bad thing, quite the opposite.’

 

**_T minus 5 minutes_ **

‘What now?’, she asks, clearly hesitant.

Edwin frowns. ‘Miss Carter, the way I see it, nothing has changed. I do not wish anything to change. We make a good team, don’t we?’

‘We do’, she’s quick to nod. ‘But you’re still getting the short end of this partnership.’

‘You’re giving me too much credit’, he shakes his head.

‘I’m really not.’

The soft way she says it, the conviction in it, it makes Edwin pause.

‘The respect is mutual, Miss Carter’, he finally says, and she smiles.

‘That’s all there is, just respect?’

‘Of course not.’, he frowns.

‘What, then?’, she pushes. ‘What else is there? Here?’

He pauses. For a long time.

She doesn’t look away from him, her eyes roaming all over his face, and Edwin doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. Or do.

He knows what he would want to do, but it’s … it’s an impossible thought.

Bu, there is sincerity between them. Fully, now. So he’s as truthful as he could possibly be.

‘You are a superhero in my eyes, no doubt about it. I should worship the ground you step on.’

She pulls a face. ‘That’s not-‘

‘But beyond that, there is a duty of care. And… and I do care, Miss Carter. About you.’

‘The feeling is quite mutual, Mr. Jarvis’, she smiles. ‘But there might be more than that, from my end.’

It takes a while for him to realize what she’s saying.

An impossible thought, that she just voiced.

He takes a deep breath, and looks into her eyes. There is longing there. And a whole array of emotions that he didn’t think he would ever see in her eyes.

‘Maybe from my end as well.’, he finally manages to say, and the way she smiles at him is breathtaking.

‘Well’, she straightens up, getting up from her seat. He follows.

‘If these… feelings ever become something more than maybes and perhaps, we could … we should talk about it.’

She’s awkward, again, and he finds it very endearing.

‘Very well, Miss Carter.’

 

**_T minus 10 seconds_ **

She just looks at him for a couple of seconds, and he can’t look away. He wouldn’t look away even if there was a grenade falling at his feet.

She moves as fast as only an agent can. Miss Carter puts a hand on his arm, and she squeezes gently, as she stands up on her toes and angles her head up.

 

**_T minus 1 second_ **

She doesn’t close her eyes. But when her lips rest on his, he stops breathing.

But it’s okay, because it’s over as fast as it started, and she’s gone into the house in a whirlwind of smiles and bouncy curls.

 

**_T plus 8 hours_ **

He brings her breakfast to the table near the pool, and she smiles brightly.

It gives him enough strength, to brush his fingers against her chin and tilt her head up, it gives him enough courage to bend down and kiss her soundly on the lips.

He kisses her just a bit longer that she kissed him the night before, but it’s enough for her to close her eyes.

When he pulls away, he waits for her to open them.

‘Peggy’, he says with conviction, ‘during the course of last night, my feelings became a certainty, much more than maybes and perhaps.’

‘Good’, she breathes out, eyes wide. ‘Very good.’

She stands up from her chair and kisses him. Longer, and a lot more passionately than before, wrapping her hands around his neck and bringing their bodies closer.

He’s more than breathless when they pull apart.

‘I can’t call you Edwin’, she says, wrinkling her nose.

‘Jarvis is fine’, he shrugs.

‘Jarvis’, she says, smiling. ‘Jarvis really is fine.’

And they’re kissing, again.


	13. Darcy/Clint: 'Cause the power you're supplying ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random tumblr prompt: _whenever we touch im so nervous and i cant keep my magic in check and i slip up so whenever ur hand brushes mine for a brief moment you see spirits/ghosts or light bulb bursts or door slams open and i’m so sorry cause now you think i’m haunted or something_

There were very few people on Earth who knew the truth about Darcy’s first trip to Asgard. Who knew that while she was there, she went into a room that she wasn’t supposed to, and touched something she really wasn’t supposed to, and got magic.

Like, Loki levels of magic that she could control to her will.

Fury knew, because he knew everything. Jane knew, because Darcy wanted her to. And Thor knew, because he was there.

That was it. Three people.

But it was okay, because it was a secret Darcy has been able to keep, even after she followed Jane to the Avengers facility and she started working closely with them.

It was fine, because Darcy knew not to use her powers in her day to day life and thus fur, there hasn’t really been a life or death situation that would require magic.

So everything was fine.

And then Clint Barton decided he wanted to move in, help Nat and Cap train the new recruits.

And Darcy’s magic literally went haywire.

≡

It wasn’t like they didn’t know each other, because they did.

Agent Barton, as he introduced himself back then, he was in charge of their operations in New Mexico.

Meaning that after Thor left and didn’t come back, Barton was in charge of giving back Jane’s equipment. And after that, he was in charge of their security.

He wasn’t always there, he usually sent Shield minions. But Barton did stop by, once a month, for a couple of days.

So Darcy knew him.

Because she cooked him dinner. And he fixed the van while Darcy cleaned it. And they drank together. And flirted just for fun. He even carried her, literally, to bed one time after the drinking.

Darcy always thought he was hot. Sometimes she thought he was cute. Mostly, she thought he was an asshole.

But it was okay, because back then, Darcy had no magic.

≡

But now she had. And, granted, it took her quite a while to realize she was using it.

≡

When she sees Barton in here for the first time, he grins at her, calls her _babe_ and gives her the most obnoxious cheek kiss possible.

The light bulb over their heads explodes. Thankfully, neither of them get hurt, and Clint is quick to ask Friday to have someone clean it up.

≡

It’s early one morning, and Darcy is in the kitchen, fixing Jane some breakfast.

Clint comes in, wearing sweatpants that hang very low on his hips, without a shirt on, and glistening with sweat. Clearly, he just had a workout.

He makes a pot of coffee, and literally takes the pot with him, but before he leaves, he hip checks Darcy.

They both flinch when a cabinet snaps shut. Which is weird, because Darcy never left any open. She thinks that maybe Clint did.

≡

They’re watching a movie, introducing Steve to the marvelous world of Harry Potter, and Clint puts his feet in Darcy’s lap half way through.

At that exact moment, the DVD player fritzes. Clint takes his feet off her and goes to fix it.

≡

Clint holds the record for the Avenger who gets hurt the most.

But he’s absolutely ridiculous, because he cut his arm while he was trying to make a sandwich.

It was the middle of the night, and Darcy was the only one awake, so he came to her, with a suture kit and an easy grin.

Darcy patches him up as well as she can, and she does notice that her ipod randomly starts playing in the docking station, but she’s too busy dealing with his blood to care.

≡

Clint is an asshole, she knows this. And with her, Clint is a whiney asshole.

So he whines, a lot, when they’re in the same room.

‘Daaaarcy, please get me the remote?’

‘Daaaarcy, I’m cold, get me a blanket?’

‘Daaaarcy, I’m hungry.’

‘Daaaarcy, I’m bored.’

‘Daaaarcy’

‘Daaaarcy’

‘Daaaarcy’

One time, after she grabs him a cup of coffee, Clint says ‘Thanks, babe’ and, somewhat gently, slaps her ass.

Darcy yells, completely affronted, in sync with a light bulb exploding.

They both frown at it.

‘That happened the first time we met here, too’, Clint says, but Darcy doesn’t care.

Instead, she starts yelling at him about how she is not a piece of meat, you don’t get to just casually slap my ass, Barton!

≡

When she walks into the common room, Clint is waving his hands frantically, and Steve is trying his hardest not to laugh.

‘You might be going crazy’, Steve tells him and, of course, Clint whines.

‘I’m not, Cap, I’m really not.’

‘Well ask her yourself’, Steve points a finger at Darcy, and Clint turns around fast, his face pale.

‘Ask me what?’, Darcy asks, suddenly concerned.

When Clint doesn’t say anything, just stares at her, Steve rolls her eyes.

‘Darcy’, he says highly amused, ‘do you have magic?’

Even though she freezes, she manages to answer quickly enough for it to not be awkward.

‘Of course not. I am, however’, she pointedly swings her hips, ‘magical’.

Steve laughs, even though the tips of his ears are red, and he pats Clint on the back.

‘See? No problem.’

‘But stuff always happens when she touches me!’

‘No it doesn’t’, Darcy is quick to shake her head.

‘Yes it does! The light bulbs exploding, and doors closing and the dvd breaking and a whole bunch of other stuff!’

‘That’s ridiculous’, Darcy rolls her eyes, taking the few more steps needed to be able to reach him.

She touches Clint’s arm, but now, she’s careful, very careful. She concentrates hard on her magic, keeping it in check.

But Darcy feels it, the moment their skin connects; she feels the familiar pull in her stomach.

Well, shit.

At least Clint drops the topic.

≡

She confides in Jane, of course she does, but not before telling Friday to not record the conversation.

‘And I don’t know why it keeps happening’, it’s Darcy's turn to whine, ‘I should be able to control myself better than this.’

Jane pats her shoulder, but she has a look in her eyes, the one that usually means that she knows something and Darcy is too stupid to understand it.

‘What?’

‘Maybe’, Jane starts, ‘maybe it’s because of the crush you have on him.’

‘I don’t have a crush on Clint’, Darcy rolls her eyes. ‘He’s hot and cute, yeah, but that’s it.’

‘No, that was it before he moved in and you actually started to spend time with him regularly, before you actually got to know him.’

‘No, that’s-‘

Darcy stops. Because Jane is right.

‘Okay’, she takes a deep breath. ‘Okay. I have a crush on Hawkeye. That’s okay, that’s fine. It’ll go away.’

‘Suuure’, Jane says, very doubtful.

‘I just have to keep an eye on my magic when he’s close’, Darcy says, nodding to herself.

Jane clearly doesn’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

≡

Darcy stops touching Clint altogether. And it’s awkward, but she makes sure to not let him touch her either.

She pretends she can’t see the disappointment in his eyes.

≡

When something explodes in the lab, Darcy doesn’t hesitate.

Thankfully, Bruce gave them a couple of seconds of notice. Just enough, for Darcy to grab his hand and pull him towards Jane, to beg him not to turn green, and to envelop the three of them in a force field.

They’re fine, completely unhurt. The lab is a mess.

Thankfully, Friday turned on the water works before the fire spread to the rest of the tower.

When Steve and Clint get there, Bruce is three steps away from Darcy, staring at her with big, wide eyes, his jaw dropped.

‘What happened?’, Steve asks.

Clint looks very concerned, and he make his way to Darcy’s side, arms outstretch. But he flinches, and doesn’t touch her.

‘Bruce, what happened?’, Steve insists.

When Bruce doesn’t answer, too busy still staring at Darcy, Steve demands answers from Friday.

‘There was an explosion, Captain. Miss Darcy enveloped herself and the doctors in some sort of force field, similar in properties with the ones of Miss Maximoff.’

‘I knew it’, Clint is the first one to find his voice.

‘What the hell, Darcy?’, he says next, highly disappointed, his voice rising constantly. ‘Did you think it was funny, because it wasn’t. I honestly thought I was going insane!’

‘I didn’t mean to’, Darcy tries.

‘How the hell did you not mean to?’, Clint yells, angry. ‘You were able to make a force field, that tells me you’re perfectly in control of your powers!’

‘Not around you!’, Darcy yells right back, just as angry. ‘My powers explode when you touch me because I’m too busy focusing on you to be focusing on them!’

There is a very loud silence that follows.

Clint stares at her, and she stares right back, because yes, she does realize what she just said. She didn’t spell it out completely, but he’d be a complete idiot to not understand what she was saying.

Absently, Darcy realizes that Jane is getting everyone else away from there, and she’s grateful.

But she kinda wants to run along with them, because Clint is still staring at her.

He moves too fast for Darcy to prepare herself. It’s a completely innocent, really platonic touch, a simple touch of his palm to her upper arm, but Darcy still makes the closest window shatter.

‘Wow’, Clint says. He doesn’t take off his hand.

Darcy swallows.

‘You like me’, he says next, slowly and unconvinced, and Darcy nods.

‘You like me!’, he says again, but this time, it sounds… excited.

Darcy nods again, holding her breath.

‘Yay!’, Clint says in a very high pitched voice, bouncing on the soles of his feet.

Then, the hand he had on her arm moves up to her neck, and his other wraps around her waist and he kisses her, still grinning.

It’s only when they pull apart, a couple of long minutes later, that Darcy notices that all the light bulbs on the hallway have exploded.

Oops.

≡

Three days later, the power to the entire facility goes down just as Darcy is screaming Clint’s name.


	14. Darcy/Clint: Stealing a stolen car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random trope: _Stole a car with someone sleeping in the back seat [Turns out that the car had already been stolen so basically you just stole a stolen car] AU_

They wouldn’t have gotten out of New York if it wasn’t for Barton.

Steve was the one who thought it would be best to return to New York, with Bucky in tow. He thought he would be able to convince General Ross that this superhero registration act was a stupid move.

Of course, he wasn’t able to do that, so he and Bucky were on the run. There was no hesitation from Steve’s part. Sam didn’t hesitate either.

But it was clear that the military did not want them to leave, so they closed off the city.

They were tucked away in a deserted warehouse, unsuccessfully planning their way out, when Barton showed up, with an easy grin and a quinjet. That he stole from Tony.

And that he offered to pilot.

So they were off, out of New York, three Avengers and an ex brainwashed serial killer, on the run from everyone.

α

There was no doubt in Clint’s mind, on which side he was going to be. He may have worked for Shield for a good part of his life, but after New York, after the World Council almost annihilated his favorite place on Earth… There was no doubt in Clint’s mind that he will be fighting alongside Steve.

So he stole a quinjet, tracked Cap down, introduced himself to Barnes and flew them out of there.

They had to abandon the quinjet, because Clint was afraid that Stark would develop a way to track it. He’d do it, he’s been putting it off for months now. This would give him the motivation he needed.

They kept moving south, even if they didn’t know where they were heading to. They drove almost non-stop, taking turns. Two people were always awake, one of them driving and the other keeping watch.

They’d change the car once a day. Sometimes, they backtracked a couple of hundred miles, in case anybody managed to pick up their pattern. Other times, they’d switch cars twice a day, or even borrow two cars. Steve kept saying they were borrowing. Everybody else wasn’t in denial, and they accepted the fact that they were stealing.

Sam was the only one to bat an eye at the literal bags of cash that Clint brought with him, but he didn’t say anything out loud. Plus, the money was useful.

α

On day 4, they switched cars outside of Guadalajara, Mexico. There weren’t many to choose from, so they ended up in a van. Dark blue, large enough to fit 8 people, tinted windows in the back.

Steve was driving, Sam was in the passenger seat, and Clint and James were in the seats behind them, not really tired enough to sleep yet.

Clint felt James move before he heard the shuffling in the back seat. As James was reaching for the gun he had in his boot, Clint turned around.

He was still startled when a face popped up in front of his, a pair of plush lips saying ‘What’s going on?’

Before Clint could comprehend what was happening, James already had his gun pointed at the woman’s temple and Steve had already pulled the car to the side of the road.

She growled, low in her throat, before opening her eyes fully and regarding them.

Clint did that as well. She was a young woman, kinda hot, with massive boobs, long brown hair that was messy from sleeping in the backseat of a car, and bright blue eyes. She looked slightly familiar.

Just as he thought that, her eyes focused on him.

‘Agent Barton?’, she asked slowly.

Clint frowned.

‘Aaand of course you don’t remember me’, she rolled her eyes.

James took off the safety of the gun that was still pointed at her temple. She sent him a cold look, but didn’t comment, before turning back to look at Clint.

‘I really thought we bonded, man’, she threw him a look, making him freeze and possibly blush.

‘Really, Barton’, she went on, slightly whining. ‘When we met, there were fireworks and explosions and screaming, a whole lot of screaming and trashing. It was literally out of this world.’

He was definitely blushing now.

‘Clint’, Steve said, rather pointedly.

‘Sorry’, he gulped. ‘I really don’t remember.’

She sighed. ‘Puente Antiguo. We met when Thor-‘

‘Oh my god’, Clint said, suddenly remembering. Flashes of anger and irritation. And yelling, a lot of yelling and curses, directed towards him.

‘You’re the intern.’

‘Yes, I’m the intern’, she rolled her eyes.

‘Whose intern?’, Steve asked, and she turned her eyes towards him.

‘Jane Foster’s.’

There was a pause.

‘Lewis’, Steve said. ‘Darcy Lewis.’

And yes, Clint fully remembered now. It didn’t stop her from throwing him a nasty look.

‘How come he remembers my name, even if he hasn’t met me, but you don’t even remember my face?’

He didn’t have an answer for that.

‘Seriously, Barton’, she shook her head, slightly. ‘Some kind of a spy you are.’

She looked at Steve then.

‘And you’re Steve Rogers. And uh’, she frowned, looking at Sam. ‘Falcon. Wilson something.’

‘Sam’, he offered, and Darcy nodded, before turning to look at Barnes.

‘Which means that you’re James Barnes, and you’re all on the run. ’

They didn’t really answer that, because it wasn’t really a question.

‘Could you please put the gun away?’, Darcy said next, looking with pleading eyes at Barnes. ‘I don’t even have my taser anymore.’

Unsurprisingly, Barnes looked to Steve. Cap nodded, so he withdrew his gun, making Darcy sigh in relief.

‘What are you even doing here?’, Clint asked and suddenly, there was a lot of anxiousness on her face.

‘I was with Jane in Acapulco, working on … something, whatever. A week ago, some general came and politely took her away, waving some sort of a warrant with a Stark Industries header.’

Clint shared a look with Steve, understanding passing between them.

‘They wouldn’t let me go with her, ordered me to stay there with a bunch of stoney black suits.’

‘They let you go now?’, Clint frowned.

Darcy shook her head. ‘I ran away a couple of days ago. Lost my taser and my laptop on the way.’

She lifted up her left arm, which Clint just noticed that it was covered in a white shirt, stained red.

‘I could also use some stitches.’

Clint ran a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘I guess I’m not on my way to New York anymore, am I?’, she asked, dejected.

‘No’, Steve said slowly. ‘No, you’re not.’

‘Is this your car?’, Barnes asked and Darcy blinked at him twice.

‘That’s actually really funny, if you think of it. Cause I stole this car. And you guys stole this car, which was already stolen. By me.’

‘That’s not funny.’, Barnes deadpanned.

Darcy snickered. ‘Dude, it kind of is.’

Her amusement died soon, though.

‘Is Jane okay?’

It was asked in a very small, hesitant voice, that kind of broke Clint’s heart.

‘There’s no reason to hurt her’, from what Clint remembered of her, she didn’t like getting bullshit, so he decided to be honest.

‘They probably only took her in for questioning.’

‘Her phone’s been off for a week, Barton.’, Darcy said, meekly.

‘Clint’s right, Miss Lewis’, Steve said. ‘They have no reason to hurt her.

‘Okay.’, she took a deep breath. ‘Okay.’

‘Where do we need to drop you off?’, Sam said and Clint turned to glare at him.

‘We’re not dropping her off anywhere.’

He might have said that too strongly, because Sam and Steve both flinched.

‘I mean’, he backtracked. ‘She ran away, they’re probably after her, she can’t go to New York. And Thor would smite us if we let anything happen to her.’

‘I don’t need your help’, Darcy said strongly, glaring at him.

Clint didn’t even bother to answer.

Steve turned the car back on. Sam gave Clint the first aid kit they got on their last stop. Barnes took out a bottle of water from their supplies.

Clint got in the back next to Darcy and started stitching her up.

α

10 hours later, Clint was driving and Darcy was the only other one awake, with her feet on the dashboard and a map in her lap.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you’, Clint said because for some reason, he thought it was important.

Darcy snorted. ‘No problem. I only remembered you because you were the hottest guy there.’

Clint blinked.

‘Besides Thor, I mean.’, she smirked.

Well that went better than expected, Clint thought.

‘I am surprised, though’, Darcy went on. ‘I mean, every time we talked, it looked like you were one second away from killing me. ‘

‘Because every time we talked, you yelled at me and called me names.’

‘Right’, she grinned. ‘I thought that would have left an impression.’

‘Not as big of an impression as your boobs left.’, Clint said without missing a beat, and really, this was why Nat kept telling him he needed to think before he spoke.

Darcy snorted, though, she didn’t seem mad.

‘Really not the time for shameless flirting, Barton’, she told him, still chuckling.

‘Well you started it’, he couldn’t help but point out.

‘And you can both stop’, a grumpy Sam grumbled, so after sharing an amused, completely not guilty look, Darcy and Clint fell silent again.

α

They spent another day with Darcy, but shit went down, massively, incredibly shitty shit went down in the States, so they had to head back.

They had to speed back, straight into battle.

Of course, there was a lot of yelling involved, mostly directed at Steve and Clint, but Darcy did agree to stay back.

Well, at least she was going to drive back to New York, not hijack a plane like they were going to do.

‘Look, when you get to New York’, Clint started, but he just ended up pulling out a set of keys from his pocket and handing them to Darcy, alongside with a bunch of cash.

She stared.

‘I own the building and the neighbors are friends. You should be safe there.’

‘Thor’s hammer, I want to punch you so bad.’, Darcy breathed out, but she did take the keys.

‘You better all survive this’, Darcy glared at them all, even though they all saw the concern in her eyes as well, ‘or I’m going to kill myself just so I could nag at you in your afterlives.’

With that, she was gone.

And Clint had more important things to do than think about how easily he gave her his apartment’s key, about how important it was to him that she wasn’t upset with him, about how he stared at her ass as she walked away.

α

Clint got back to his apartment in the middle of the night.

Lucky started barking even before he got to open the door with the key he kept hidden in the hallway.

He was exhausted, emotionally and physically, so all he was able to do was collapse on the couch and let Lucky cuddle him.

α

When he woke up, Darcy was sitting on the ground, wearing a pair of leggings and one of his tshirts. Her hair was piled on top of her head, her knees were pulled up to her chest and her toenails were painted light blue.

‘Hi’, Clint all but groaned, his voice scratchy.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay’, she breathed out.

‘I’m really not.’

That was the second time he said something he really didn’t want to say to her.

Darcy quickly got up and offered him a hand.

‘You should take a bath, relax your muscles. I’ll stitch you up, if you need it, and I’ll make you breakfast.’

Clint frowned. ‘There’s food?’

‘I’ve been living here for a week, of course there’s food.’

She rolled her eyes and really, it was the prospect of food that made him accept her help in getting up from the couch.

α

His apartment has never smelt as good as it smelt when he got out of the shower.

And sure enough, there was breakfast waiting for him at the bar. Coffee, orange juice, pancakes, toast, bacon, fruit and yogurt.

Right then and there, he wanted to marry Darcy.

When he saw her pour coffee for herself in a pint, rather than in a mug, he wanted to have her children.

When she smiled at him and told him he was staring, Clint managed to thank her for breakfast.

‘Just eat up, Barton’, she rolled her eyes. ‘Jane’s picking me up in an hour.’

‘So she’s okay?’, he asked around a mouthful of bacon.

Darcy nodded. ‘She called this morning, apparently Steve told her I was here. You were right, they just asked her a bunch of questions and locked her up.’

‘That’s good.’, Clint said. ‘I mean, it’s not, but it could have been worse.’

The rest of the breakfast was spent in silence, for which Clint was oddly thankful for. He didn’t think he’d be able to talk about what happened.

After she stacked the dirty dishes in the sink, she leveled him with a look.

‘Are you hurt? Do I need to stitch you up?’

Clint shook his head. ‘It’s not that bad.’

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, but then she turned around, rummaging in some drawers, and wordlessly gave him some pain meds.

α

When Jane came up, Clint felt like he was intruding.

Both of the women were pretty hysterical, hugging tightly and both of them saying what they’ve been through. Even though Clint had no idea how they understood each other, because they were both talking at the same time.

Jane left soon after with a bag of Darcy’s things, but she lingered.

‘Thank you for letting me crash here’, she said, her voice lowered.

He shook his head. ‘Thor really would have killed me if anything happened to you. It was the least I could do, after leaving you stranded in Mexico.’

‘Still’, Darcy shrugged.

She didn’t go on, but she made her way further inside of the apartment, crouching next to Lucky and letting him lick at her neck, while she buried her fingers in his fur.

‘I’m gonna miss you, Hawkeye-Dog’.

‘His name’s Lucky’, Clint couldn’t help but say.

‘I know’, Darcy smiled up at him, her face still being attacked by Lucky’s tongue. ‘But saying your name every day helped me stay sane.’

Clint really didn’t have any answer for that, and surprisingly enough, he managed to not say anything.

After she pushed Lucky away, Darcy hugged him too. She wrapped her hands around his waist, mindful of his injuries, and she pressed her cheek to his chest.

‘I'm not gonna lie’, Darcy mumbled after Clint awkwardly wrapped a hand around her shoulders, ‘I kinda fell in love with your dog.’

Clint snorted. ‘He tends to do that, yeah.’

‘I wanna keep him.’

Clint pushed her away, slightly.

‘You can’t keep him’, he frowned. ‘He’s mine.’

‘Then I demand visiting rights.’, she angled up her head, glaring strongly.

‘That’s fine’, Clint bristled.

‘You know that means I’m going to get visiting rights to you too, right?’, she raised an eyebrow.

And, really…

‘That’s fine’, Clint repeated, smirking.

‘Good’, she nodded strongly.

She also stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, before turning around and leaving.

Clint spent the rest of the day smiling, and when he got a text from an unknown number, telling him that Lucky is already missed, he grinned like a lunatic.


	15. Darcy/Bruce: Nowhere, middle of Montana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip across the country and accidentally crossing paths AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of days ago I had a REVELATION.  
> That Hulk is going to be in Thor Ragnarok, so that means that we're probably (hopefully, good god, please) going to bet **Darcy and Bruce in the same room**. YAY. ... there's nothing wrong with me.

Darcy wasn’t an impulsive person. Usually. Recently, yeah, she found herself in situations that needed fast reflexes and allowed no time to think about the decisions she took.

Like that one time when she decided she was going to New Mexico for an unpaid internship. Or that one time when she tased the god of thunder. Or that one time she found herself surrounded by aliens in London.

Now these were situations she was in the middle of. There wasn’t time for thinking, for lists of pros and cons, she just had to throw herself head first and pray for the best.

But when something happened, that she wasn’t directly involved in, but that would influence her life, those were the moments when Darcy wasn’t impulsive.

So when Shield fell, alongside with Captain America and the helicarriers, Darcy stopped to think.

Jane got an invitation to the Avengers tower the next day. And by invitation, Darcy means that Tony Stark himself showed up at the Shield lab they were working at, with a grin and a folder that contained floor plans for what will be Thor and Jane’s apartment, and with specs for the new lab he was offering her. Stark also brought coffee and donuts, and Jane actually took the time to listen to his offer.

The moment Stark said 'We got a message from Thor, he still has a bit of work on Asgard, but he assured us he’ll be coming back in a couple of days. And staying for a while', Darcy knew that Jane would take Stark’s offer.

And she did.

He offered Darcy a smaller (still bigger that anywhere she has ever lived) apartment, and an official sounding job, for the Avengers. While it meant making sure Tony and Jane were fed and caffeinated, it also meant that she was supposed to combine her college degree with her knack for social media and be a weird PR/Marketing for the Avengers.

It was a good offer. A very good offer.

Darcy thought about it. And didn’t take it.

When Stark came back three days later to help Jane pack, he leveled Darcy with a look.

‘Are you running? Is that was this is?’

Darcy rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah. Let’s say I am. I just… need a breather, Mr. Stark.’

‘Well’, he blinked. ‘You’re not the first person to tell me that, but we could really use your help, kid.’

‘Not really’, Darcy shrugged. ‘From what I hear, you don’t have a lot of Avengers there right now. What with Cap in the hospital and Thor off-world.’

‘And you said the Widow and Hawkeye are still dealing with the files leaked’, Jane, ever so helpful, pointed out.

‘So it’s just you and the Hulk’, Darcy leveled a look at Stark.

He shrugged. ‘Just me, actually, the Hulk needed a breathed too.’

‘Look’, Darcy tried. ‘I’m not saying _no_. I’m just saying… not now.’

‘Okay’, Stark finally nodded, winking at her after. ‘We’ll be waiting.’

‘Are you sure?’, Jane asked, and Darcy nodded.

So she packed her bags, rented a car, and took off.

⌂

Three weeks later, Darcy hasn’t slept in two days, she was wearing a pair of short jeans and a tshirt from the last motel she stayed at, she was starving and in desperate need for coffee.

She was in the middle of Montana, in a small town with a population just a bit smaller that Puente Antigo. But, thankfully, she found a diner that was open, even if it was close to midnight.

Darcy ordered fries and a burger and drank two cups of coffee as she ate. It was only after eating, as she was waiting for the waitress to bring her a piece of pie, did Darcy bother to look around her surroundings.

Besides the waitress, there was only one other person in the diner, a man whose head was buried in a thick book. He looked rough around the edges, but soft too. When he angled the book to take a drink out of his mug, Darcy saw his face, and she froze.

Bruce Banner.

Doctor Bruce Banner, the only man Jane ever fangirled about, the Hulk who saved New York, the man Stark said was also looking for a breather.

Darcy wasn’t impulsive. She thought about it, and she made a pros and cons list in her head, but in the end, when she stood up and walked to his booth, Darcy didn’t hesitate.

‘Do you mind if I join you?’, she asked sweetly, and the doctor startled.

He looked at her, briefly, before shaking his head.

‘That’s not a good idea, miss.’

Darcy snorted, boldly sliding in the booth across the table from him.

‘I think it’s a great idea, Doc.’

He looked up at that.

‘See, we have a couple of common friends’, Darcy went on. ‘Tall guy, glorious blonde locks, kind of out of this world’. She wiggled her eyebrows. ‘And that one billionaire with the awful goatee.’

He just blinked at her for a couple of times, but Darcy didn’t miss the tens line of his shoulders.

‘Who are you?’, he asked, slowly.

Darcy smiled, doing her best to appear as sweet and nonthreatening as possible.

‘Darcy Lewis’ the name, Jane Foster’s intern’s the game.’

‘Oh’, he blinked. ‘Right.’

Then, he frowned. ‘Last time I checked, our billionaire friend was going to offer Doctor Foster a job.’

‘He did’, Darcy nodded. ‘And she took it. He offered me a job too.’

‘But you didn’t take it.’

Darcy shrugged. ‘Not yet. I’m gonna do it, eventually, but I needed a break.’

‘In Montana?’, he raised an eyebrow.

‘This is where the road took me, Doc.’

‘Bruce.’, he breathed out. ‘It’s Bruce.’

‘Bruce’, Darcy grinned, ‘Why are you in Nowhere, Middle Of Montana?’

He shrugged. ‘There’s a couple of roads leading here. Apparently.

She hummed. ‘So what is there to do around here?’

‘Nothing’, he smiled. ‘Absolutely nothing.’

Darcy snorted. ‘You love it, don’t you?’

Bruce shrugged, unperturbed. ‘Been here a couple of days. It’s quiet.’

The waitress brought Darcy’s pie then, which she was happy to dig in. But the waitress lingered.

‘You know, if you folks stick around till the weekend, there’s a great farmer’s market on Sunday morning.’

‘Really?’, Darcy asked around the pie in her mouth.

‘There’s great food and a lot of handmade stuff. They’re pretty’, the waitress grinned, before giving Darcy an obvious once over.

‘Even though I’m not so sure it’ll be your cup of tea.’

Darcy laughed, not minding it. ‘Honey, I haven’t been in a bed in 50 hours and I don’t remember the last time I even saw a hair comb. I am _craving_ anything pretty right now.’

The older woman laughed. ‘You’re in the right place then, dear.’

She left after that, and Darcy decided that she was going to leave a generous tip. When she finished eating her pie, she noticed that Bruce was watching her with a frown.

‘You should sleep’, he said, and Darcy nodded.

‘I plan to. Is there a motel round here? Or something?’

Bruce nodded. ‘Just the one, but it’s okay enough. It’s clean and cheep.’

‘Great’, Darcy grinned. ‘Lead the way.’

He did. Darcy drove her car as Bruce gave her direction, and it didn’t take long, for her to get a room at the same motel he was staying at.

‘Well, good night, Miss Lewis’, he said, very awkwardly, after he helped her get her bags into the room.

‘It’s Darcy, please. And uh’, she smiled, ‘are you still going to be here in the morning?’

He swallowed. ‘I don’t know.’

Darcy frowned. ‘You shouldn’t leave on my account. I’ll keep my distance, if that’s what you want.’

‘I’m not good with people’, he said slowly, not looking at her.

‘No genius ever is. I should know, I’ve dealt with a couple.’

Bruce shook his head. ‘That’s not what I meant, and you know it.’

Darcy sighed. ‘I know what you meant. Still, from a practical point of view, we are both going to end up in that tower, sooner or later. So you should learn how to deal with me.’

Bruce narrowed his eyes. ‘And I’m supposed to do that in Montana?’

She shrugged. ‘At least the pie’s good.’

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t look at her either.

‘Look, I’m sorry to crash your party’, Darcy started. ‘But really, don’t feel obligated to leave because I’m here. I am more than capable of giving you your space, if that’s what you want. And I am also more than capable of handling small talk and gossip about our common friends.’

It took a couple of beats, but Bruce finally shook his head, heading towards the door.

‘Either way, I’ll see you in the morning, Darcy.’

‘Sure, Doc.’, she smiled, easily. ‘Sleep well.’

⌂

They didn’t see each other in the morning, because Darcy slept till noon.

But she felt better after she woke up, she even put on a dress and a little lipstick as she made her way out of the room.

Bruce wasn’t in the lounge room, and he wasn’t in his room either, and Darcy felt sad, that he left, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. So she made her way to the diner, dying to get some food.

Bruce was there. And he smiled when he saw her, so Darcy didn’t hesitate in joining him at his booth.

They did make small talk during lunch, and it was… nice.

Bruce Banner was a lot better with people than he thought he was. He made her laugh, and his sarcasm when talking about Stark was a thing of beauty.

They parted ways after lunch, because Darcy needed to do some shopping, and Bruce said he was going to the local library. Of course.

Darcy spent the rest of the day roaming around town. She brought clothes and toiletries, because three weeks on the road took its toll. She also got a manicure and a haircut and she found a Captain America bear in the thrift store. She laughed a lot, bought it, and texted Jane about it.

She met up with Bruce again at dinner, and he didn’t compliment her change of looks, not exactly, he just smiled and told her that she looked rested.

It was during dinner when Jane texted back: a picture of Captain America, the real Captain America, taking up half of a couch, intently reading something off a tablet.

 _In real life, he’s not as fluffy as a teddy bear._ , Jane’s text said. Darcy snickered, showing it to Bruce.

‘So Steve’s at the tower’, he said.

‘Yeah’, Darcy nodded. ‘Clint too. And Natasha’s due back next week.’

‘What about Thor?’

‘Soon’, Darcy shrugged. ‘Jane doesn’t know an exact date, but it’s soon.’

Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘We’re gonna have to go back eventually’, Darcy said, hesitating.

‘Yeah’, Bruce agreed. ‘I know that, I just… I’m really excited about that farmers market.’

Darcy snorted. ‘Me too, if I’m being honest. I need a new fluffy blanket.’

Bruce blinked.

‘I forgot my old one in London’, Darcy shrugged. ‘Can’t move into the Avengers Tower without a fluffy blanket.’

‘You’re odd’, he said, slowly, but it only made Darcy grin.

‘Bruce, you don’t know the half of it.’

⌂

She followed him to the library the next day. Bruce didn’t even complain. Much.

Darcy was surprised to see that Bruce was interested in reading Jane’s work. Well, he was just getting started with the basics of astrophysics, so that when he’d get to the tower, he’d understand what Jane was talking about.

She didn’t know a lot about Jane’s work, Darcy never understood it that much, but she knew enough to point Bruce in the direction of some books.

As he read those, Darcy also did some work. If she was going to work for the Avengers, she needed to get herself well acquainted at least with basic PR and Marketing concepts. So that’s what she did.

Darcy and Bruce spread out on one of the tables in the library, in a back corner, so it was always quiet. Darcy took some breaks, Bruce didn’t. She had a feeling it was something she will have to get used to.

So she was the one to make snack and coffee runs throughout the day, and when dinner time came around, and it was clear that Bruce had no intention of leaving, Darcy made a run to the diner, getting them a literal bucket of fries and a couple of pieces of pie.

They got kicked out of the library at 10, when the poor guy said he had to close up.

‘I’m so sorry’, Bruce said once they were out. ‘I really didn’t notice it was getting so late.’

‘It’s fine, dude’, Darcy bumped their shoulders together. ‘It wasn’t like I was just waiting up on you. Today was actually really productive.’

‘Yeah?’, he asked, oddly hopeful.

It was very endearing. So Darcy, despite the fact that she was not an impulsive person, she hugged him.

Bruce froze, for a second there, but then he said a soft, sort of breathless ‘oh’, and he did wrap one hand around her back. It brought Darcy an excited sense of satisfaction.

She was grinning when she pulled away.

‘So, Bruce. You tired?’

‘Not really’, he frowned.

Darcy cheekily offered him her elbow. ‘Let’s take a walk then.’

He rolled his eyes, but it looked fond. And he did take her elbow, but he maneuvered her hand until it was wrapped tightly against his.

Bruce didn’t let go until three hours later, when they finally made it back to the motel.

‘What’s the plan for tomorrow?’, she asked in front of her door.

‘The library’s closed’, he frowned.

Darcy hummed. ‘How do you feel about horror movies?’

He raised a playful eyebrow. ‘Don’t we get enough of that in our day to day life?’

She scoffed. ‘Well yeah, but I was talking about old school horror movies. The ones with bad makeup and horrible props. The cinema’s doing a marathon.’

He mulled that over. ‘I can’t remember the last time I was in a cinema.’

‘So we’re going’, she grinned. And that was that.

⌂

The movie marathon was incredibly fun. Because they were surrounded with soda bottles and bad coffee, and because throughout the movie, they kept a running commentary, wondering what the Avengers would have done if they were part of the story.

It was hilarious, Darcy couldn’t remember the last time she had this much fun.

With Bruce by her side, shoulders brushing, his breath tickling her ear every time he leaned into her space to say something.

Darcy wasn’t an impulsive person. If she was, she would’ve kissed Bruce. And never stop.

⌂

Later that night, they ended up sitting on the hood of Darcy’s car, drinking a bottle of wine.

‘You know, it’s really hard for me to remember you’re the Hulk’.

Bruce looked visibly startled when she said that.

‘You shouldn’t forget that’, he finally said, strongly.

‘Cause you think you’re a menace?’

‘Monster is the word I would use’, Bruce didn’t even hesitate.

Darcy sighed. ‘The Hulk might be. You’re not. You hold the door open for me and you whine when you say Tony’s name, and you have a sweet tooth as big as I do. You also spent days reading about Jane’s work just to be able to have a conversation with her and you’re a fun person to be around.’

He was blushing, staring at her with wide eyes, which Darcy found absolutely adorable. She giggled.

That made Bruce sigh and look away. ‘Well, when you put it like that…’

Darcy laughed.

⌂

When they got to the place where the farmers’ market was held at, Darcy let out a shriek of delight.

Bruce laughed, good naturally, and put his hand on her lower back, using it to guide her to the nearest booth.

Four hours later, Darcy had a bag filled with homemade jam, one filled with chocolate and another one with coffee. She also had a new fluffy blanket (it was a bright, obnoxious pink), two new sweaters and the softest scarf known to man, that came with a pair of mittens as well.

She also got a lot of pastries and cakes, which she intended to share with Bruce instead of dinner.

‘I literally have no more money left’, she grinned as she said it, in the middle of her motel room, after Bruce helped her carry everything.

‘Stark Industries is very generous with its employees.’

Darcy titled his head. ‘Does that mean we’re going?’

‘I think it’s time I go. What do you want to do?’

‘I miss Jane’, was all she answered, but he took it as the answer it was.

‘I’ll have someone pick us up.’

‘I have to get the car back’, Darcy frowned. ‘There’s a drop office in the next town over.’

‘I’ll join you’, Bruce nodded. ‘Have someone pick us up there.’

And that was that.

⌂

Darcy managed to stuff everything she bought in her suitcases. Except for the Captain America bear.

Bruce rolled his eyes at it, but there was a small smile on his face.

⌂

Hawkeye greeted them from the plane’s cockpit.

‘How did you two even end up together?’, were the first words he said.

‘We bumped into each other.’, Bruce shrugged.

‘In Montana?’, Clint said, rather incredulously.

‘Says the dude from Iowa’, Darcy pointed out, and Clint grinned at her, dropping the subject.

⌂

When she got introduced to Steve Rogers, he smiled at her, easily.

‘It’s very nice to meet you, Miss WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?’, Steve shrieked, eyes going to the Cap bear she was still holding.

‘Mine’, Darcy didn’t even miss a beat, cradling the plushy close to her chest. ‘It’s mine, and you can’t have him.’

‘Okay’, Steve gulped, turning a bright shade of red.

It made Bruce laugh, though, so it was okay.

⌂

Darcy’s wasn’t an impulsive person, so every time she went into Bruce’s lab in the tower, she thought about it before.

She thought about what she was wearing, about how her hair was styled, about which lipstick she should put on. She thought about a good reason to be there, and she thought about if he needed her to bring coffee or food.

But it didn’t really matter, because he always smiled at her, completely ignoring the reason why she was there, asking her about her day instead.

⌂

‘You know’, Tony told her a month later, ‘Stark Industries has a very particular rule book about employee relationships.’

‘You’re dating the CEO’, Darcy scoffed.

‘But I’m not technically a SI employee, so it’s fine’, he dismissed it with a hand. ‘You, however…’

She raised an eyebrow.

‘You and Banner.’, Tony explained, around a smirk.

She thought about denying it, she really did. In fact, there wasn’t anything going on between them.

Except that there was something. Darcy felt it, and apparently everybody else saw it. But nothing happened, not yet, and she doubted it will happen any time soon.

Still. ‘It’s not any of your business’, she told Tony.

‘I’m your boss’, he put a hand to his chest, very dramatically. ‘And I’m his friend, of course it’s my business.’

‘It’s really not’, she glared for a while.

‘Fine’, he finally sighed. ‘I just wanted to … ‘, he looked away, oddly embarrassed.

‘Keep at it, will you?’, he said in a lowered voice, not looking at her. ‘You’re good for him.’

Darcy baked Tony a cake later that night.

Bruce asked what for, but she didn’t even manage to come up with a good lie, too busy blushing.

⌂

When Thor finally came back, Tony threw a party. Of course.

Darcy enjoyed getting dolled up, putting on a dress and some red lipstick, and she enjoyed it a lot more, after Bruce told her how lovely she looked.

By the time the party died down, they were on a couch, her feet in Bruce’s lap. He was in a conversation with Steve and Clint, but he still kept gently massaging her feet.

Darcy fell asleep.

⌂

She woke up to the feeling of someone’s lips kissing her forehead.

It took a couple of beats, for her to realize that it was Bruce waking her up, and that they were the only ones left in the lounge room.

Darcy wasn’t an impulsive person. But in that moment, she was.

Because Bruce was close to her, so close that she felt his breath on her cheek. And he took off his glasses, and his curly hair was screaming for fingers to be run through it, and he was looking so softly at her.

So yes, in that moment, Darcy was impulsive.

She kissed him. Quickly, and gently, just a barely there peck.

‘Come on, Sleeping Beauty’, he gave her another quick kiss. ‘Let’s get you to bed.’

⌂

Darcy wasn’t an impulsive person, but half an hour later, after she took off her makeup and changed into pajamas, she knocked on Bruce’s door.

‘I can’t sleep’, she said. ‘What can I give you in exchange for a cuddle?’

Bruce laughed, letting her in.

‘So the Cap teddy isn’t doing his job anymore?’

Darcy shook her head.

Bruce kept on laughing, but he also gently hugged her, pushing his cheek to her hair.

‘How about a couple of kisses?’, he whispered. ‘Sounds like a fair trade.’

⌂

Darcy wasn’t an impulsive person.

So when she woke up in the middle of the night, wrapped around Bruce in his bed, when she understood what Jarvis was saying, that Tony was heading there, Darcy didn’t do anything impulsive.

She didn’t even bother putting on clothes.

And it was a good thing, because that was the only reason they convinced Tony to leave.


	16. Darcy/Steve: Howl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [@wiz](http://mr-stevens-head-of-catering.tumblr.com/) was watching Scott Pilgrim and he sent me [this](http://i.imgur.com/gdpAWoL.png) picture and said he looked like a werewolf. 
> 
> ... 7000 words later. Here it is. **Werewolf!Steve**. Alpha!Darcy, Beta!Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no alpha/beta dynamics going on here, not really. There is, however, a bunch of Bucky. 
> 
> ... if you're in the Teen Wolf fandom, this isn't going to be anything revolutionary.

Darcy got there when everything was over. When everybody was gathered at the base of what used to be the Avenger Tower, to mourn.

Darcy didn’t know Steve was dying. She just knew she had to get there, and because she learned a long time ago to trust her instincts, she raced to New York when everything started.

She thought she was too late.

Looking at Steve lying on the ground, his shield thrown to the side, Bucky Barnes sobbing on his chest, Iron Man a couple of feet away, looking devastated and guilty. Darcy really thought she was too late.

But then she tuned into her senses, and she heard his heart beat. Weak, but it was there. And she heard Steve saying Barnes’s name.

Darcy didn’t hesitate. She fell on the ground next to Steve and pushed Barnes away, putting enough force into it to be able to move the large man.

He looked like he was going to attack her, but he didn’t, because Steve’s face lit up in a smile, and he said her name.

‘Do you want to die today?’, Darcy asked, already feeling tears running down her face.

‘Nobody wants to die’, Steve said, and really, if it wasn’t for her enhanced hearing, Darcy wouldn’t have heard him.

‘Cap, if you tell me you don’t want to die today, then I could do something. It’s… there’s a 50/50 shot, but… right now, you have no shot.’

‘What are you talking about?’, Barnes all but spit out, but Darcy didn’t even turn to look at him.

‘If you survive’, she told Steve, ‘it won’t be easy, but I promise I’ll do anything I can to help.’

‘I trust you’, Steve breathed out, and then he closed his eyes. Darcy could hear his heart rate dropping, she had to hurry.

She looked up, to all the superheroes surrounding them.

‘Close ranks’, she said. ‘I can’t have the press see us.’

Thankfully, they did as asked. When she was sure they weren’t seen, Darcy grabbed one of Steve’s hands. She struggled a bit with taking off the glove, and raised his wrist to her lips.

‘This is going to be weird’, she looked up, eyes locking with Natasha. ‘Don’t shoot me.’

Then, she let her eyes flash, the bright red that they had been for years now, and she let her fangs grow, taking comfort in the familiar feeling. She placed a small kiss to Steve’s wrist, before sinking her fangs into the skin.

When she pulled away, she was lifted off the ground by the neck. It was Barnes, and Darcy didn’t fight him.

She let him push her to a wall, a couple of inches off the ground.

‘What did you do?’, he growled in her face.

Darcy couldn’t answer, his hold on her neck was too strong. Instead, she let her claws grow, wrapping her fingers around the metal arm that was pinning her.

Barnes stared at them for a couple of seconds. He didn’t let go of her, not really, but he lowered her until her feet touched the ground, and he unclenched his hand enough for her to be able to speak.

‘The bite either turns him, or kills him.’

Everything was a blur after that. They carried Steve inside of the tower, to the infirmary. Darcy didn’t leave his side, and she told everyone that the doctors wouldn’t be able to do anything for him.

Of course, nobody believed her. The doctors took Steve into an OR room, but they came out a couple of minutes later.

‘Is there black blood?’, Darcy asked before the doctor opened his mouth.

He shook his head, confused. ‘No, he stopped bleeding.’

Darcy breathed out. ‘So the wounds are healing.’

The doctor nodded, clearly confused.

She turned around to look at the rest of the Avengers, but she locked eyes with Barnes.

‘He’s going to be okay.’

‘ _What_ is he going to be?’, Natasha asked, slowly.

Darcy hesitated.

‘I’m going to tell you, but you should all get checked out. And’, she turned towards the doctor. ‘You should get Steve in the Hulk proofed room. When he wakes up, he’ll be even stronger than he is now, and he might not be in control.’

‘Kid’, Stark said, ‘what the hell is going on?’

‘I’m a werewolf’, she flashed her eyes. ‘Now let the doctors patch you up.’

β

The Hulk proof room was fully see trough, and they all gathered outside of it, waiting for Steve to wake up.

Barnes, Sam, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Tony and Rhodey. And they were all staring at her.

‘When he wakes up, he’s going to be a werewolf’, Darcy started. ‘A beta werewolf, and I’ll be his alpha. He’ll be part of my pack, only person in it, really, but… That’s what his instinct will tell him, at first, to accept me as an alpha, but after he learns control, I won’t force him into anything.’

‘Learning control’, Barnes said, slowly. ‘What does that mean?’

‘The control to stay human’, Darcy said. ‘I was born a werewolf, so I learned control at a very young age. It’s going to be harder for him. I… don’t know what the superserum will do. It might heighten everything, more than being a werewolf does. I don’t know.’

‘Heighten?’, Natasha asked.

Darcy nodded. ‘Super strength and reflexes, extra speed, super senses.’

‘How super?’, Tony asked.

Darcy shrugged. ‘I can hear your hearts beating, or skipping a beat, so I know when you’re lying. I can also smell, like, your body wash.’

Steve woke up then. With a howl.

His eyes, that were flashing gold, they locked on Darcy’s.

She responded with a howl of her own, and by the end of it, they were both panting.

Darcy made her way into the room, letting her eyes turn back to normal. She was delighted to see Steve’s doing the same.

‘Do you remember what happened?’, she asked, stopping by his bed side. She was careful not to touch him.

Steve lifted up his hand, the one Darcy bit on. It was the only wound on his body that hasn’t healed yet, and it won’t heal for a while, because it was done by an alpha.

‘Am I a vampire?’, Steve asked, and Darcy rolled her eyes.

She also flicked her wrist and let her claws grow, making Steve stare at them.

‘Werewolf’, Darcy said. ‘We’re werewolves.’

He looked up to her, confusion clearly written all over his features.

‘I can hear your heart beating.’

Darcy smiled. ‘Yeah. That’s gonna get old pretty fast. You should rest some more, Steve, your body needs it. And when you wake up, there’s going to be a lot to learn.’

He nodded, relaxing slightly, before his eyes moved to the waiting room.

‘Bucky’s still here.’

‘And he’ll be here when you wake up’, Darcy said. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’

‘And Stark-‘

‘Nope!’, Darcy interrupted him, boldly shoving him back down on the bed. ‘You don’t need to get overly angry or overly emotional right now, so, Cap, go to sleep. That’s an order.’

‘You’ll be here when I wake up?’

Darcy smiled at the way he was frowning. She ran a finger over his brows to smooth them out, and tucked the blanket up to his neck.

‘I promise.’

β

If Darcy will ever hear someone talking shit about Steve Rogers, she was going to murder them.

Because Captain America, the United States’ Nation Treasure, he learned control in a day. Half of day, really, and they spent the other half perfecting it.

All Darcy had to do was to explain the concept of an anchor, that it is something that helps you hold control over your humanity. Steve closed his eyes, thought about it for no more than 30 seconds, and when he opened his eyes, he shifted, surprising not only Darcy, but himself as well.

It was easy after that, for Steve to shift at his will.

When she asked what his anchor was, Steve shrugged.

‘Bucky hasn’t left yet.’

Darcy smirked at that. ‘And I didn’t even have to handcuff him to the radiator.’

They both chuckled at that.

‘No, but seriously’, Darcy raised an eyebrow. ‘Is Bucky your anchor?’

Steve shook his head. ‘That doesn’t feel very safe.’

‘You’re awfully smart, Cap’, Darcy smirked. ‘You’re right. People aren’t safe, because … they can easily go away.’

‘Right’, Steve nodded. ‘So my anchor isn’t Bucky. It’s more of… what he makes me feel.’

Darcy’s jaw dropped at that and her eyes grew wide. Steve blushed.

‘Not like that’, he was quick to shake his head. ‘I just meant that all my life, I tried my best to be the man that Bucky thought I was. Even after I lost him, after I woke up… I still tried to be the best version of myself, because that’s what Bucky saw in me.’

Darcy would never admit it, but she felt like crying, a little bit.

‘Good. That’s… good. Great, actually.’, she shook herself out of it. ‘So you’re not going to refuse my next offer.’

Steve regarded her curiously, but Darcy didn’t explain, not before letting Barnes into the room, so she could address both of them.

β

Bruce Banner had a secret hiding place. Very remote, in the middle of the woods, a cabin built to endure the strength of the Hulk.

Should be fine, for an alpha, a beta learning the ropes and an ex-brainwashed assassin trying to get his head back straight on.

‘This could end horribly’, Barnes said when Darcy was done explaining.

‘Sure’, she agreed. ‘Or it could also mean Steve and I get a remote environment to teach him about his new powers, and you and Steve get some private time to get to know each other better.’

‘Not like that, Darcy’, Steve sighed, exasperated.

‘I know, I know’, she snickered. ‘I’m just saying.’

Steve and Barnes had a long discussion then, wordless, using only their eyebrows and smirks. But in the end, the both agreed.

‘Good’, Darcy grinned. ‘Gimme a day or two to set everything up. And to order you clothes.’, she spared a look to Barnes. ‘And shampoo.’

Barnes scowled.

β

Natasha flew them out there, and she tried to threaten Darcy and Barnes. Saying that she didn’t trust either of them with Steve’s safety and well, she didn’t get to finish that thought, considering both Darcy and Barnes ignored her completely.

β

They didn’t do anything too productive the first day at the cabin. Not really.

Instead, they heated up every room, Darcy dusted everything while the boys made sure everything was secure. They made their beds and Darcy made sandwiches and hot chocolate for dinner.

All the while, Steve kept asking her questions.

How far away can you hear?

Can you smell what I ate for breakfast?

If someone cut off your arm, would if grow back?

Does this mean you’re immortal?

No, wait, what’s wolfsbane?

Oh, so silver doesn’t hurt us?

By the time they were in the living room, lounging around and drinking beer until they got tired enough to sleep, Darcy thought he’d run out of question.

Apparently, he didn’t.

‘Are you ever going to tell me why your eyes are red and mine are gold?’

Darcy shared a look with Barnes.

‘You should tell him’, he told her. ‘If you don’t, he’ll get twitchy.’

Steve rolled his eyes, but when they turned to her, Darcy could see the hesitation in them, the doubt.

‘Right’, she took a deep breath. ‘Story time.’

‘Do you want me to leave the room?’, Barnes asked, but Darcy shook her head. Still, she looked to Steve as she talked.

‘You know how wolves hunt in packs?’

Steve nodded.

‘Well’, Darcy made herself more comfortable in the armchair, ‘there are three types of werewolves, and three types of eyes. Red eyes means an alpha, the leader of the pack, the strongest.’

She didn’t blush after she said that, she really didn’t.

‘Then, there are betas, people who have been born werewolves, or people that alphas have turned.’

‘The bite either turns you, or kills you’, Steve nodded, like the good student that he was.

‘Right. Betas have gold eyes, but if a beta has taken the life of an innocent, their eyes flash blue.’

Steve blinked at that. ‘I’m surprised that’s not my case.’

‘Cap’, Darcy sighed, ‘every person you have ever killed has deserved it. Could I carry on, or are we pausing my story to deal with your self deprecating moment?’

‘Go on, Darcy’, Steve rolled his eyes.

‘The third type of werewolf is called an omega. Which means-‘

‘A wolf without a pack’, Barnes interrupted.

‘Yeah.’, Darcy nodded, before taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

‘So. Uh. You have to remember that an omega can rise to be an alpha and an alpha can fall to be an omega. Power doesn’t mean a lot in this world, if you don’t know how to take care of it.’

Steve frowned at that, but it was understandable.

‘A beta can take an alpha’s power by killing him and I’ve heard stories of alphas giving away their power in order to save a sick member of the pack. There’s magic, to the moon, that I really don’t know a lot about, just that it’s powerful and we should definitely keep away from it.’

‘Did you kill your alpha?’, Barnes asked, even though it was clear that Steve was wondering the same thing.

‘I was born a werewolf’, Darcy said slowly, trying to control her emotions. ‘We were a big pack, and because of that, it painted a target on our backs. My mother, my alpha, she could deal with anything that came her way, from hunters to… evil fairies and dark druids’.

Both of the men’s eyes grew at that, but Darcy powered on.

‘My entire pack was killed by a hunter, even if some of them were human. The only reason I’m alive is because I sneaked out of the house that night to go on a date.’

‘Shit’, Barnes said, and yeah. Darcy agreed with him.

‘When an alpha dies suddenly, their power goes to the strongest of their betas. I was the only one left, so I go it.’

‘You said’, Barnes started. ‘After you bit Steve, I remember you saying that you didn’t have a pack.’

Darcy shook her head. ‘It’s not just the fact that I lost my entire family when I was 14. But I lost my entire pack. Losing a pack member is like…’, she hesitated, looking at him. ‘It hurts like losing a limb. I’m still a pack creature, meaning that I would do anything for the people I care for. But I never felt the need to turn them into werewolves.’

‘I’m sorry I put you in that position.’, Steve was quick to say, and Darcy growled at him. Literally.

'As I said. I would do anything for the people I care for. Please don’t ever say anything like that again.’

‘Yes, ma’am’, Steve smirked at her, and Darcy rolled her eyes.

‘So uh’, he said after a beat. ‘You’re my alpha?’

‘I know that’s what your instinct is telling you’, Darcy nodded. ‘But I’m not going to force you into it. We’re here to teach you control, we’re here to figure out the full extent of your powers because I know you’re still going to throw yourself head first into battle, and you need to know your abilities, as well as your limits.’

‘So how do you two know each other?’, Barnes asked, startling both of them into silence.

‘Uhm’, Steve blinked.

‘Thor’, Darcy said.

‘We lived at the tower together’, Steve went on.

‘For a couple of months.’

‘Well, not together – _together_ ’, Steve winced. ‘But in the same tower, I mean.’

‘Thor’s girlfriend, she’s a genius astrophysicist, and I was her intern-‘

‘When Thor landed’, Steve nodded along. ‘And when Darcy came to the Avengers tower, she took care of all the scientists.’

‘Right.’, Darcy nodded.

Barnes just looked at them, unimpressed.

‘That’s it?’

Darcy and Steve both nodded.

Barnes snorted in response, but didn’t say anything more.

β

They started off easy.

On a blanket laid down in front of the house, Darcy and Steve facing each other and Barnes awkwardly sitting next to them.

‘We’re going to start off easy, training your senses. It can get overwhelming, I know, hearing things you don’t want to and smelling things you really don’t want to.’

Both of the men scrunched up their noses at that.

‘So come on, Cap’, Darcy grinned. ‘Close your eyes.’

It took a couple of beats, but he did it, relaxing his shoulders.

‘Let’s start with hearing. What do you hear?’

Steve was quite adorable, with his eyes closed and his eyebrows scrunched up.

‘I can hear your heartbeat, and Bucky’s. But… yours is louder.’

‘Perks of being your alpha’, Darcy shrugged.

‘Right’, Steve nodded, eyes still closed. ‘I can hear Bucky running his fingers over his jeans. Uh, his metal fingers.’

‘Okay, now go further away’.

‘I can hear the boiler in the house. There’s… there’s a faucet dripping. I think on the second floor.’

‘Good’, Darcy smiled, even if he couldn’t see it. ‘Now go further away.’

‘I hear the woods. Birds flapping their wings. Some squirrels, maybe. And uh’, his frowned deepened. ‘A deer, I think?’

‘Yeah, probably.’, Darcy nodded. ‘Do you know how far away it is?’

Steve shook his head, opening his eyes.

‘It’s about a mile, a mile and a half.’

His eyes grew wide. ‘That’s far.’

‘Yeah’, Darcy smiled. ‘You’re getting the hang of this.’

Steve’s ears turned red, which was adorable, but he also grinned.

‘Of course I am.’

Darcy rolled her eyes.

‘Punk’, Barnes muttered under his breath, but it only made Steve grin wider.

‘Come on, let’s move onto smell’, Darcy said. ‘Close your eyes and tell be what you smell.’

Steve did so. ‘You. I smell you two.’

‘Be more precise than that. Start with Barnes.’

‘You can call me Bucky’, he said quietly, and they shared a look. Darcy’s was excited, his was exasperated.

‘I can smell the metal’, Steve started. ‘The grease in it. And the detergent. The coffee he had before.’

Darcy hummed. ‘That’s good, but it’s all surface stuff. Every person has a distinct smell. It’s something that is completely his, distinctive. It’s usually a combination of other scents. I know it sounds weird, but try.’

Steve nodded, taking a deep breath, his body bending slightly, towards Bucky. Bucky, who looked completely grossed out. Darcy fought the urge to giggle.

‘Chocolate’, Steve finally said. ‘And uh. Newspapers. The paint they used back in our day.’

‘Is that what that was?’, Darcy smiled. ‘I couldn’t figure it out.’

Steve opened his eyes to throw her a look. ‘Have you even held a newspaper before? Or did you only ever read them on your tablet?’

Darcy shoved at him, good naturally.

‘Shut it, Rogers. Now come on. Smell me.’

He pulled a face, but closed his eyes and did as asked.

‘Same laundry detergent. Obviously, cause we do laundry together.’

‘You’re stalling’, Bucky pointed out, suddenly amused.

Steve wordlessly shoved him, without opening his eyes.

‘Focus, Steve’, Darcy felt the need to say.

‘Right’, he nodded. ‘Your perfume is lemon scented.’

‘Nope’, Darcy said, and he frowned.

‘Yes, it’s lemon. It’s not perfume?’

‘Body cream’, Darcy supplied, hopefully.

Steve pulled a face. ‘Fine.’

‘Okay, what else?’, Darcy urged on.

He took a deep breath and winced, the tips of his ears going red again.

‘It’s okay, Steve.’, Darcy grinned. ‘You can say anything, I won’t get mad.’

He covered his face in his hands. ‘Are you on your period?’

Bucky’s jaw dropped, as he stared at her.

Darcy grinned, completely unperturbed.

‘Yes, Cap. Yes I am. Now push past it, and go on.’

Steve shook his head, but he did take another breath.

‘You smell electric. Like… Thor’s thunder.’

Darcy just raised an eyebrow at that, and spared a look to Bucky. He was looking at Steve with an odd sort of amusement on his face.

‘Roses’, Steve said next. ‘You also smell like roses. Fresh, sweet roses.’

He opened his eyes after that, blinking at her a couple of times.

Darcy blushed, how could she not?

‘That’s sweet’, she giggled. ‘I always thought I smelt like vodka and pop tarts.’

Steve rolled his eyes at that.

‘Now’, Darcy rubbed her hands together. ‘Let me tell you about chemosignals.’

β

They started training two days later, because really, Steve was getting the hang of this werewolf thing very quickly.

He did, however, freeze when Darcy started taking her clothes off.

‘What are you doing?’, he all but shrieked.

‘Cap’, she leveled him with a look. ‘We have claws. That easily tare through fabric and we really don’t have enough clothes for that.’

She lifted her chin up, showing her body in all its glory, wearing only a pair of black shorts and a training bra (extra padding, that Nat recommended, and really, it changed Darcy’s life).

Steve blushed and he sighed.

‘Come on, Cap’, Darcy challenged, ‘let’s see what you’ve got when you haven’t got your trusty Frisbee.’

Steve gritted his teeth and started stripping.

‘Oh, this is going to be fun’, they both heard Bucky breathing out from the porch.

Darcy grinned at him, Steve just sulked.

β

Growing up, Darcy dreaded training. Because her mother was ruthless. She understood later, when she properly grew up, that it was necessary for a werewolf.

And after she lost her pack, Darcy kept training. She didn’t fight with werewolves, honestly, she kept as far away from them as possible, but she did take self defense classes, and she went to the gym and she ran, sometimes.

So now, she had no problem facing Steve.

He was a fighter, through and through. His technique was a lot more refined than hers, smoother, with a touch of gymnastics.

But Darcy was stronger. Theoretically. Being an alpha, she should have been stronger, even with the superserum running through his body.

Still, Darcy didn’t think she should have been able to power Steve every single time.

So an hour later, Darcy roared. They weren’t shifted, they just had their claws out, but Darcy let her eyes flash, as she pinned Steve to the ground.

‘You’re holding back.’, she growled in his face.

‘Whoa’, was all he said.

Darcy let go of him, let him get back to his feet.

They were both gross. Sweaty, covered in blood, remnants of wounds that have already healed, dirt and mud sticking to their skin.

‘You’re holding back.’

Steve probably wanted to deny it, but one look from her stopped him.

‘I don’t want to hurt you.’

Darcy growled.

‘If you keep holding back, than this is pointless. You need to learn your strength, Steve. Stop holding back.’

‘Darcy, I can-‘

‘I’ll heal!’, she growled again. ‘Plus’, her eyes flashed again, ‘you have to get to me first. I’m strong, old man. Let me show you just how much.’

‘I should film this’, Bucky grumbled under his breath.

Darcy snorted, but she turned back to Steve.

His eyes flashed, and he pounced on her.

And now, now they were really having fun.

He clearly wasn’t holding back anymore, and he was strong. A lot stronger than any beta should be, and Darcy made a mental note that next time they see Bruce, they should ask him to do a full set of tests on Steve’s blood. Out of curiosity.

Steve still didn’t pin her down, but it was a lot harder for Darcy to stop him from doing so.

They kept at it, for what felt like hours, and Darcy was getting weaker by the minute. Steve didn’t seem to be feeling it, he was constant in his attacks.

So he managed to overpower her.

Steve pushed her to the ground, straddled her hips and pushed his claws into her arm.

They stopped.

They were both panting, Darcy a bit harder, and they just looked at each other. Their eyes were flashing, and Steve’s fangs were out.

‘Oh god’, he yelped, quickly moving off of her. ‘I am so sorry.’

‘It’s okay’, she shook her head.

‘I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry’, he kept on babbling. ‘You’re bleeding and that must hurt and-‘

Darcy stopped him by putting a hand on his bare chest.

‘Steve, it’ll heal. I think this was a success.’

‘Yeah?’, he asked, very hesitant.

She got up from the ground then, and helped him up as well.

‘You’re a lot stronger than you should be’, Darcy said. ‘It must be the serum.’

‘Am I really?’, Steve frowned, leading her back towards the house.

Darcy nodded. ‘No beta should ever be a match for an alpha. But you are.’

He kept on frowning.

‘That’s a good thing, Steve’, Darcy knocked their shoulders together.

‘You don’t mind?’

Wow, Darcy thought. This man was ridiculous.

‘It’s like Stark.’, she said, shocking him into silence. ‘In the lab, he has to work alone. He couldn’t work with anybody else, because he’d think himself superior and it’d be a horrible mess. It’s just like that. I would be a terrible alpha if I couldn’t handle my first and only beta being stronger than me.’

‘I thought you said you weren’t his alpha’, Bucky said when they got to his side.

Darcy shrugged. ‘I’m not. But I sure as hell am acting like I am.’

Steve seemed deep in thought, but Darcy shrugged it off.

‘I’m starving.’

Bucky wrinkled his nose. ‘I’ll get started on lunch, you two go get cleaned up.’

Darcy grinned.

β

While things were going well on the Steve front, Bucky wasn’t doing so well.

He had nightmares almost every night, and Darcy acted like she didn’t hear it. Like she didn’t hear Steve always going intro Bucky’s room, bringing him back from the dark place he woke up in.

This vacation was supposed to be about Bucky as much as it was supposed to be about Steve.

So one day, Darcy announced that they will all be going on a jog through the woods.

‘Stamina’, she grinned. ‘Let’s see which one of you can last longer.’

They both blushed, of course, as Darcy cackled.

β

Turned out, they were all at the same level when it came to their stamina, meaning they jogged for about 10 miles without getting too exhausted to function.

But Darcy ordered a stop, when they were one mile out from the cabin, and she spent no time in lying down on the ground. It was a sunny autumn day, so the forest was piled with fallen leaves, that scrunched under the weight of her body.

Surprisingly enough, the two men followed, one on each side of her.

‘So, Bucky’, she grinned, ‘are you feeling better?’

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that he was surprised.

‘A bit, yes.’, he admitted.

‘Good.’, Darcy smiled. ‘We haven’t been taking too good care of you, and I’m sorry for that.’

‘You’re not supposed to take care of me’, Bucky snapped, the strength in it surprising Darcy.

‘Yes we are’, she told him softly. ‘This trip was supposed to be as much about you as it was supposed to be about Steve.’

‘He’s doing good, though’, Steve said in a whisper, which only made Bucky’s anger spike.

‘Stop talking about me like I’m not here.’

‘But you are doing good’, Steve shot back. ‘You’re fully in control, you haven’t switched back to the winter soldier once.’

‘Oh’, Bucky said. ‘You’re right, I guess.’

Darcy snickered.

‘I’m thinking you could train with us’, she said. ‘We’ll take turns sparring, and uh, I could totally make myself sparse for a couple of hours a day, if you want to talk to Steve.’

Steve’s heart skipped a beat at that, in clear excitement, but Darcy didn’t point it out.

‘It could do you some good’, Steve said, slowly. ‘Maybe. If we run through what you remember.’

Bucky sighed. ‘You want to talk about _feelings_ ’.

Darcy had to snicker at the way he said it, the disgust in it. But she knew it wasn’t real, because he was broadcasting excitement and love for Steve.

‘Honey’, Darcy mockingly patted Bucky’s arm, ‘you’ve been leaking your feelings since the moment I met you. Really, talking about it would do us all some favors.’

The blush on Bucky’s cheeks was a thing of beauty.

‘Sorry’, Darcy was anything but. ‘That’s what you get when you hang out with werewolves.’

‘It’s okay, I think’, Bucky blinked at her, then at Steve. ‘I’ll get used to it.’

‘So that’s settles it then.’, Steve smiled, easily. ‘We’ll all train?’

‘Yeah’, Bucky nodded. ‘And we’ll talk, but uh’, he looked to Darcy, hesitating. ‘You don’t have to go away for it. I’m okay with you hearing.’

Her heart did something really weird then, that had Steve staring at her chest.

‘Where Steve goes, I go’, Bucky shrugged, 'and I don't think he's going to get away from you any time soon.' It was Steve’s turn to get his heart to haywire.

‘And you’re a nice person’, Bucky went on. ‘I like you.’

Darcy didn’t burst out crying, but it was a close call.

Instead, she lifted herself on her elbows, kissed Bucky’s cheek, kissed Steve’s cheek, and took off into a sprint.

‘Last one at the house makes lunch!’, she yelled back, but it took a while for the two men to follow her.

β

Training with Bucky was very different than training with Steve, because where Steve was smooth, Bucky was harsh, and where Steve was graceful, Bucky was a literal ton of bricks collapsing over her.

But watching Steve and Bucky fight, now that was something else. Something that Darcy enjoyed too much, probably. They were having fun, laughing and teasing each other, and even if they both left with bruises and blood spilling, they were enjoying themselves.

There was a point, the first time the two men spared, when Steve froze. He turned toward Darcy, taking a very not conspicuous sniff.

‘What is that?’, Steve tilted his head. ‘It’s like excitement, but…’

‘Arousal’, Darcy shrugged. The last thing she saw before running into the house was Steve gaping at her and Bucky laughing.

β

On the day of the full moon, Steve woke up feeling twitchy. Darcy saw it clearly.

‘So what’s the plan for tonight?’, it was Bucky that asked, but Steve nodded enthusiastically.

‘You’re not going to have a good night’, she smiled at him. ‘It’s going to get harder for you to maintain control, as we get closer to the full moon. And, you’ve been brilliant at all of this, you’ve been picking it up quickly, but… I don’t think you’ll be able to go through tonight without changing.’

Steve nodded, sighing.

‘There’s a room that can contain you’, Darcy put a comforting hand on his shoulder. ‘I won’t shove you in there if you won’t need it, and I’ll help in any way I can.’

‘Okay’, Steve nodded, straightening his shoulders. ‘Okay.’

β

They went on a long run that day, in the hopes of exhausting Steve as much as possible, but it didn’t do much. Steve was difficult throughout the day, snapping at Darcy and Bucky both, getting mad over the silliest of things.

He wolfed out at dinner, for no reason whatsoever.

Darcy reacted quickly, grabbing a hold of his hand and dragging him to the Hulk room.

‘Do you want me to stay with you?’, she asked, not letting go of his hand just yet.

Steve shook his head. ‘Please go.’

She did, but she gave him a tight hug before.

Bucky was waiting for her on the other side of the room, anxiousness clear. Darcy tried to smile reassuringly at him, but it fell short. So instead, she powered up her laptop and connected to the speakers installed in the Hulk room.

‘Hey, Steve’, she said sweetly. ‘We can talk, big guy.’

‘That would be nice. Keep my head busy.’, was his answer and it made Bucky take control.

‘Where were we? I think the last thing we talked about was when you turned 15.’

‘Yeah’, Steve nodded, slowly, smiling around his fangs.

‘Well the next thing I remember after that…’

β

And so, Darcy spent the night on the couch, listening to Bucky and Steve talk about the good old days, before the war, before the superserum, before Hydra.

It wasn’t a surprise for Darcy, how much she cared for Steve and Bucky, both. What did surprise her was the fact that every time they’d reminiscent about one of Bucky’s dates, Darcy found herself picturing her and Steve.

Which was a bad thing, a certainly disastrous thought, so she tried her best to ignore it, blaming it on the full moon.

Still, she focused on Steve, on his heart rate, that was calm enough, only spiking when the conversation directed it to.

He didn’t go feral during the night, Steve’s eyes kept flashing on and off and his fangs were out most of the time, but that was it.

And after the sun came up, after he turned back to human, Steve still insisted on staying in containment for another hour. Bless his soul, really.

The second he was out of the room, Steve wrapped Darcy into a tight hug. She hid her surprise well, and hugged him back just as tightly.

‘You did good, young padawan’, she couldn’t help but grin.

‘Good?’, he all but screeched, not letting go of her. ‘That was not good, definitely not good.’

‘But it was, Steve’, Darcy insisted. ‘Newly turned werewolves go feral on full moons. They’re completely out of control, their instincts taking over, mostly the instinct to maim and/or kill.’

He pushed her away at that, so he could look at her, but he didn’t let go.

‘Are you making that up?’

Darcy threw him a look. ‘Was I lying?’

Steve didn’t bother asking, just hugged her again. His hands moved up and down her back, sneaking up on her neck every now and then.

He moved to Bucky afterwards, extending the same treatment to him, so much so that Bucky had a very uncomfortable look on his face. It was kind of hilarious, but Darcy didn’t mention it.

When Steve yawned, Darcy clapped her hands.

‘Bed time’, she said without any room for discussion. ‘We’ll talk about scent marking tomorrow.’

Steve spluttered at that, and Darcy took great pleasure in the way he blushed. Still, it didn't stop her from running her fingers to the back of his neck before she left the room. 

β

A week later, Darcy leveled her boys with a look.

‘From where I stand, we can go home’, she said, looking to Steve. ‘I don’t think I have anything else to teach you, and you’re more of a hands-on guy anyway.’

‘But the full moon-‘

‘We can come back for the full moon. We should come back, until you get the hang of it. But I don’t think you’ll have any problems otherwise.’

Steve turned to Bucky.

‘We can stay. You and me, if that’s what you need.’ He then quickly turned to Darcy, blushing a bit. ‘I mean, we’re not kicking you out. You can stay as well, of course, but uh you can also go home.’

Darcy snorted, shaking her head in exasperation at his awkwardness.

‘Where would we go?’, Bucky asked in a very subdued voice.

‘I have an apartment’, Steve was quick to say. ‘It’s not Brooklin, but it’s fit for two. Or we could get you an apartment, if that’s what you want. I mean-‘

Bucky rolled his eyes, effectively shutting Steve up.

‘What about the Avengers?’, he asked next, and Steve sighed.

‘We’ll have to deal with that eventually, yeah, but … when you’re ready.’

‘Let’s go home, then’, Bucky nodded, and that was that.

Except that it wasn’t.

β

Later in the evening, Bucky said he was going for a run, which was uncommon. But when Steve cornered Darcy in the kitchen, she figured out he bailed to give them privacy.

‘I want to be honest with you’, Steve started by saying. He was clearly uncomfortable, and Darcy prepared herself to hear him say that he didn’t want her as an alpha.

‘Well it’s not like you can lie to me’, Darcy grinned, willing herself to not make it harder for him.

Steve took a deep breath before talking slowly, not quite managing to look at Darcy.

‘I have always liked you, more than I should have, since the moment you walked into the kitchen and helped me make pancakes in the middle of the night. But’, he took a deep breath, ‘since you bit me and we came here, my feelings grew. In intensity. And I… I don’t know if it’s because of you, of you and me, or if it’s because you’re my alpha.’

To say that Darcy was floored would be the understatement of the century. On one hand, she wanted to run away and meet up with Bucky in the woods. On the other hand, she wanted to strip Steve out of his clothes and have her way with him right there, in the kitchen.

And Steve could probably smell these things, because he wasn’t looking at her and he was blushing furiously. His heart was beating as fast as hers was, and she could tell that he was as excited as he was embarrassed and she could also smell anguish.

‘I think’, she said slowly, making him finally look up at her, ‘that it might be best if I kept my distance. When we go back to New York.’

Steve swallowed.

‘I think you need to figure it out on your own’, Darcy went on, ‘and distance will help you with that. To keep a clear head.’

‘You think that’s what’s best for me?’, he asked strongly, and Darcy didn’t hesitate in saying yes.

It wasn’t what she wanted, far from it, but she truly believed it was what Steve needed.

He didn’t say anything else before leaving the kitchen and locking himself up in his room.

β

As soon as Darcy got back to New York, she settled back into her normal routine. She drove every morning to the Avengers facility, running around between Jane’s lab, Bruce’s and her office. She realized she was throwing herself into work just so she didn’t have to think about Steve, but it was working.

She hadn’t seen Steve in a week when Bucky came to Jane’s lab.

He marched in without pausing, kissing her cheek before politely introducing himself to Jane. He also brought them lunch, which they spent talking about how he’s settling in.

Bucky was doing well, Darcy was glad to find out. He was training with the Avengers, he moved in with Steve and he didn’t once mention Steve beyond that sentence.

But Darcy caved, and she asked.

‘He’s good’, Bucky nodded, seemingly distracted. ‘He’s training a lot, with me and with the others, and on his spare time, he keeps drawings ideas, he wants to remodel his apartment.’

‘That sounds nice’, Darcy managed to smile.

‘Yeah’, Bucky bit out, and she was utterly surprised by the death glare he threw her.

‘Steve is also moping, he’s borderline depressed and he has nightmares about you every night.’

‘About you dying’, he explained. ‘Is that normal for a beta?’

‘No’, Darcy breathed out. ‘No, it is not.’

She looked down, feeling ashamed. When Bucky didn’t say anything more, she gathered enough strength to look at him.

He was still angry, but there was also something soft in his eyes.

‘Do you really think you’re doing him any good?’

‘Bucky’, she sighed, ‘I-‘

‘No, look’, he said strongly. ‘I’ve known Steve my whole life. And yeah, there were those 70 years when we were both otherwise occupied, but I’ve known him since we were 5, Darcy. And since you bit him, he hasn’t changed. Not one bit, not… not in what makes Steve Rogers be Steve Rogers.’

She couldn’t look at him anymore.

‘So I know when he’s serious about something.', Bucky went on. 'About someone. This isn’t some after effects of your werewolf bond, and I think you know it too.’

She did. God, she did know it. She just… didn’t think he did.

Darcy still couldn’t look at Bucky, so she looked up to Jane.

Who was grinning at her.

‘I’ve missed something’, Jane said, excitedly, before her expression turned serious. ‘And you’ve been stupid again.’

‘Listen to the doctor’, Bucky didn’t miss a beat. ‘She’s smarter than you.’

Darcy chuckled a bit, before asking Friday where Steve was. When the AI said he went home, Darcy didn’t even bother cleaning up the table, she just said a hasty goodbye and ran out of there.

‘Text me if I need to find another place to sleep tonight!’, Bucky yelled after her.

‘Go get him!’, Jane added, and it got her a few dirty looks on the hallway, but Darcy couldn’t care less.

β

Steve opened the door to his apartment before Darcy got to knock. The perks of being a werewolf.

‘What are you doing here?’, he asked, bewildered, as Darcy pushed past him and into the apartment.

‘You’re my first beta’, she started by saying, ‘and my last one, if I have any say in it. But you’re always going to be my beta, no matter what. That connection, it will never go away.’

‘I know’, he said in a rush, making Darcy falter. But she pushed through.

‘But that’s not all there is between us, and I know. I know it, and it’s been here long before I gave you the bite.’

Darcy couldn’t even hear Steve’s heart beat over the sound of her own, and she couldn’t focus enough to read anything else off of him.

She couldn’t look away either, but that was okay, because his eyes never left hers either.

‘What are you saying?’, Steve finally asked, slowly.

‘I’m saying that I shouldn’t have kept my distance’, she took a deep breath, ‘and I’m saying that if you want, you should totally, really, please kiss me right now.’

Steve’s jaw dropped in shock. But then he growled, deep in his throat, and when he roughly wrapped his hands against her waist, when he picked her off the ground, when he pushed his lips to hers, too hard for it to not hurt…

Darcy wouldn’t have had it any other way.

β

In the morning, Bucky was glaring at them.

‘You didn’t text.’

Darcy flinched. ‘Sorry?’

He shrugged. ‘It was okay. I crashed at Clint. He has a dog.’

Bucky threw them a look. ‘I like Lucky more than I like you pups right now.’

Steve rolled his eyes so hard Darcy thought he would strain himself, but she just giggled. She kissed his lips before kissing Bucky’s cheek, and as she poured herself a cup of coffee, she couldn’t not say it.

‘Technically, you’re my pups. I'm your alpha.’


	17. Darcy/Steve: Lady talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five ladies and Steve’s first conversation with them. And a bonus. I mean, Friday is a lady, right?
> 
> just a hint of Darcy/Steve

**→Potts**

Pepper Potts was no stranger to Steve. They’ve known each other for a while now, and even though their interactions were usually limited by her busy schedule or Tony, it didn’t take long for Steve to figure out how strong Pepper Potts was.

She really was an incredible woman, competent in her job and in dealing with Tony and a tower filled with Avengers. But she was also a kind woman, soft around the edges when she could afford to show it, and really, her sarcasm was a thing of beauty, especially when it went over Tony’s head.

Still, Steve hasn’t really seen her in a casual manner yet. It was always during one meeting or another, or with someone important who demanded her full professionalism between them.

She spent every spare moment with Tony, usually behind closed doors. Understandable, really, so Steve was a bit surprised to walk into the common room one Sunday evening and find her in shorts and one of Tony’s tshirts, sprawled out on the couch.

‘Miss Potts’, he smiled. ‘How are you?’

She scrunched up her nose, sitting up in a more controlled position.

‘How about you and I make a deal?’, she started, making Steve raise an eyebrow.

‘You don’t call me Miss Potts when I’m not in heels, and I don’t call you Captain if you’re not carrying your shield.’

He couldn’t help but grin, and she answered in kind.

‘Pepper, how come Tony doesn’t have you locked up in his tower?’

She giggled at that, flipping her blonde locks to let him know she got the reference.

‘Jane Foster called’, Pepper explained. ‘Said she’s close to opening up the bridge to Asgard, but needed Tony to check her math.’

‘That’ll be something’, Steve tilted his head.

‘Yeah’, Pepper nodded. ‘Plus…’, she hesitated. ‘I realized that uh… we’ve been all living together for a while now, and I haven’t got to know any of you.’

She blushed, looking down, and Steve couldn’t help but smile.

‘I feel bad about it’, Pepper went on, ‘and I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be’, he assured her. ‘We get it, you and Tony both have busy lives.’

‘Still’, she shrugged. ‘It wasn’t very nice of me.’

Steve chuckled, but she did have a point. So he took off his shoes, threw his body on the couch next to her, and put his feet on the coffee table.

‘What are we watching?’, he grinned at her, and Pepper laughed.

‘Trash, Steve. We’re watching the trashiest of trash tv.’

‘I have no idea what that means’, he admitted, still grinning.

She laughed and explained who the Kardashians were.

 

**→Foster**

According to Tony, Doctor Foster was indeed very close to coming up with a solution, but she lacked the resources.

So, of course, he invited her to the tower. She moved in, and really, it was exactly like Pepper, in the sense that she didn’t leave her lab except for sleeping.

Bruce and Tony both interacted with her and her assistant, and they both said the women were crazy and pretty awesome, but Steve didn’t even manage to introduce himself.

So, of course, Tony threw a party after their first week there.

It was two days before it, that Steve finally met Doctor Foster.

She was in the kitchen, staring at her laptop. She didn’t notice him coming in, so when she said a very dejected ‘This is pointless’, he couldn’t help but creep and see what she was doing.

Doctor Foster was watching a youtube video called _How to get the perfect curls._

Steve tried his best to control his laughter, when he let his presence known. She startled, but overcame it quickly and introduced herself.

‘You know, Doctor Foster’, he smiled, ‘the secret to a tight curl is a good night’s sleep.’

She frowned. ‘What?’

‘I’ve spent a lot of time around showgirls back in the day’, he shrugged. ‘Picked up a couple of tricks.’

Suddenly, she was very interested.

‘Like what?’

‘To get the perfect curls, you have to braid your wet hair and sleep on it.’, Steve explained, remembering a conversation he thought he had forgotten. ‘And the ladies used to put uh’, he frowned, ‘some kind of oil in it before, I don’t remember exactly, but I’m sure there are modern equivalents, that help the curl last longer.’

‘Yes’, Doctor Foster nodded, ‘yes there are.’

Then, she blinked, and strongly shut down her laptop.

‘Thank you’, she said, somewhat breathlessly, going as far as putting a hand on his shoulder. ‘You’re a life savior.’

Steve laughed at that. ‘And I don’t even have my shield with me.’

She grinned, bid him a polite goodbye, and bounced out of the room.

When he saw her at the party, Steve was very pleasantly surprised. She looked lovely in a bright red gown, and her hair was set in perfect curls.

‘Doctor Foster’, he smiled at her, politely kissing the back of her hand. ‘You look lovely and your curs would have made my stage partners positively jealous.’

She laughed at that, and he joined her.

‘What the hell?’, Tony asked, having come to their side. They both ignored him.

 

**→Bishop**

Steve was getting real tired of robots. And aliens. And robot aliens from outer space.

They attacked New York, because of course they did, and the Avengers didn’t hesitate in suiting up and taking the fight to them.

But right now, Steve was in a bit of a pickle, because one of the robot aliens was, quite literally, sitting on top of his chest. And Steve couldn’t move, he lost his shield a while back and he couldn’t reach his ear to switch on his comm piece.

Steve was surprised, but relieved, when someone decapitated the alien with his shield. There weren’t a lot of people who would have been able to pull that move off, it was either Nat or Clint. But he knew Nat was a few blocks away, so that left Clint.

He got up and turned to look in the direction the shield came from and once again, he was surprised.

There was a young woman grinning at him. She was wearing a tactical suit, a light purple one, and she had a quiver and a bow on her back.

She also had on a pair of light purple aviators on her face and purple lipstick that matched her suit.

‘You know’, she made her way to his side, ‘I never thought that when I’d meet Captain America, I’d get to take his shield out for a ride.’

‘You’re not Hawkeye’, is what came out of his mouth.

She glared at him. ‘Yes I am.’

That didn’t make a lot of sense to Steve. He may have hit his head.

‘What channel are your comms on?’, she asked next, and Steve answered on instinct.

‘Avengers’, she said after she turned on her own ear piece, ‘Cap could need a little bit of help. On 39th, in front of the bank.’

Steve heard Tony say a curt ‘On my way’. There was a pause, and then Clint talked. Growled, more like.

‘Hawkeye, that better not have been you.’

The young woman grinned. ‘It is I, Hawkeye.’

‘Damn it, Katie’, Clint sighed. ‘I told you to stay away.’

‘And I didn’t listen’, she was still grinning, ‘and I just saved Captain America’s butt. So, Hawkeye. Where do you want me?’

Clint started rattling on instructions, and Tony showed up, so Steve went back into the fight and forgot about the weird young woman who saved his life.

It was hours later, when Steve saw her again, in the medical bay of the Avengers tower.

Clint introduced her as Kate Bishop, she introduced herself as the better Hawkeye.

‘Miss Bishop’, Steve said, ‘thank you for today. But please don’t touch my shield again.’

She pouted. ‘But you let Clint play with it.’

‘That’s because Clint doesn’t leave lipstick marks on it.’

Kate blushed at that, as Clint cackled. Steve felt pretty good about himself.

 

**→Maximoff**

They trained in the facility outside of New York, but they still lived at the tower. And after Sokovia, Tony took Vision and Wanda in, of course he did.

She kept to herself, though. Of course, Steve saw her every day because he trained with her every day, but he never saw her at the tower.

So he was very surprised, when one evening, he ran into her in the common room.

She was sitting on the ground, barefoot, her back against the ceiling high windows, and she was painting her nails. Black, of course.

Steve stared for an embarrassing amount of time.

When he managed to move his eyes to her face, she looked unsure.

‘What?’, she asked in a low voice. ‘Am I not allowed to be here?’

He was an idiot.

‘No, it’s not that’, he shook his head.

It made her blush.

He was definitely an idiot.

‘I’m sorry, Miss Maximoff, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable’, he did his best to smile. ‘But I genuinely thought you … magic-ed your nail polish on.’

Her jaw dropped at that. ‘Why… did you think that?’

Steve threw her a look. ‘Because every time we train, and every time we fight, your makeup is flawless, your hair is perfect and your nailpolish isn’t ever chipped. That can’t be humanly possible.’

She laughed at that, brightly and loudly, and it was the first time he heard it.

‘The miracles of modern days beauty products’, she said, and he stared.

‘Really?’

Wanda nodded. ‘This nailpolish’, she pointed to the bottle, ‘is a gel formula. It lasts about two weeks on me.’

Steve just stared at the bottle for a few seconds.

‘Back in my day, I knew a couple of women who would have literally killed for this.’

She laughed again, and after awhile, he joined.

‘Well, Captain’, she smiled at him, ‘there’s no magic, I promise.’

‘I’m not your captain here’, Steve shook his head, moving closer to her. ‘I’m just Steve, your neighbor.’

She smiled at him, and nodded a couple of times.

‘And uh’, he went on, ‘I used to be pretty good at it, if you want me to help you paint your toenails.’

It took a few seconds, but Wanda grinned and easily put her feet in his lap after Steve joined her on the floor.

 

**→Lewis**

To be honest, Steve tuned them out a long time ago. He usually did, when the guys started talking about his old man sensitivities, as Tony called it, and about his virginity, as Clint often pointed out.

But when Steve heard a distinctively feminine ‘oh my god’, he looked up.

It was Darcy Lewis, Jane’s assistant. He knew her, of course, they crossed paths every now and then in the tower, but this was the first time she actively took part in a conversation where most of the Avengers were gathered. Usually, she’d just keep to their general vicinity, listening but never including herself.

‘Do you really think he’s a virgin?’, she went on, a hand on her chest.

‘You don’t?’, Tony raised an eyebrow, and suddenly, Darcy blushed, looking at Steve with big eyes.

‘Permission to speak freely, Cap?’

He nodded, very interested.

‘People in the 40s weren’t as shy as you think they were’, she started by saying, not once looking at him, but at Tony and Clint, mostly. ‘The sex wasn’t as kinky as it is now, sure, but that doesn’t mean people didn’t have a lot of it. And from what my gran tells me, they weren’t so shy about talking about it either.’

‘And, I mean’, she spluttered a bit, ‘he was in the army, for god’s sake. Nobody comes out of that being shy.’

‘But-‘, Tony tried, but Darcy cut him off.

‘And he has the dirtiest mind of you all!’

‘That’s not-‘, Clint rolled his eyes, but again, she cut him off.

‘But it is! You just don’t see it, it’s like you have a force field over your eyes and ears stopping you from seeing it. But he… He makes the most innuendos and when one of you makes one, he gets this look on his face, this filthy, dirty look that tells me he’s taking the joke a lot further than you all think him capable.’

She took a deep breath, before blushing again and looking down.

‘And I’m seriously not convinced he’s completely straight.’

With that, every one of his team mates turned to look at him.

Steve smirked, and made his way to Darcy’s side, grabbing her hand in both of his.

‘Miss Lewis’, he smiled at her, ‘I have been out of the ice for five years and you are the first person to ever make a correct assumption about me.’

He paused, before grinning.

‘And you made two of them.’

Her jaw dropped.

‘Did you just come out?’

He shrugged, unperturbed, letting go of her hand.

She narrowed her eyes. ‘Wait, why… You never said anything before. To them’, she pointed at the rest of the Avengers who were gaping.

‘You never denied it.’

‘Oh, I tried, at first. But it didn’t work, so I gave up.’, Steve shrugged again.

‘That’s kind of dick moved’, Darcy said, but there was a small smile playing on her lips.

He responded in kind. ‘I am kind of a dick.’

Darcy’s eyes skipped to Tony.

‘I think you broke Iron Man’s brain.’

‘Steve’, Tony all but yelled, suddenly. ‘Please tell me you didn’t sleep with my dad!’

Steve snorted. ‘Of course not, he was straight.’

He paused, for effect.  ‘Doesn’t mean I didn’t try.’

Steve will never forget Tony’s face in that moment, or Darcy’s laughter.

 

**→Friday**

8 months later, Steve prayed all the way to the common room, for it to be empty. Of course, God must have been too busy, because Tony and Bruce were both there. Still, he had to say it.

‘Friday, you can turn back the surveillance in my apartment.’

‘Of course, Captain Rogers’, came the quick response.

‘And’, he went on, ‘I’m going to need you to order a new coffee table. And bill it on my account.’

‘You don’t like it?’, Tony asked.

‘Oh, I do.’, Steve assured. ‘It’s just that… I broke it.’

‘You just moved in yesterday!’, Tony spluttered. ‘How could you have broken it?!’

There was no way Steve was getting out of this, so he figured the truth might save him some grace.

‘With Darcy’, he said, and it was followed with a long pause.

Until Bruce grinned. ‘Atta boy, Cap!’, he said, and extended his fist for Steve to pump.

He did, knowing full well that he was blushing.

‘Wow’, Tony said. ‘Wow.’

Steve shrugged.

‘Captain Rogers’, Friday’s voice came through. ‘I have made the order, someone will come by your suite tomorrow to install the new table. However, may I suggest that next time you and Miss Lewis feel adventurous, you might want to try the counter in the master bathroom. It’s much more sturdy.’

Steve blinked at the ceiling a couple of times.

‘Thank you, Friday’, he managed to say, completely ignoring Tony and Bruce’s laughters.

‘My pleasure, Captain’, Friday responded happily. ‘Or rather, Miss Lewis’.’

Steve left without another word, returning to Darcy. At least she didn’t tease him that much.

Well, she did, but he liked when she did it.


	18. Darcy/Clint: One Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That trope where your soulmate's first words to you are tattooed on your body.

Clint had a love/hate relationship with his words. When he had the time to think about them.

Anyway.

The thing was, they were corny. Gosh, they were so fucking corny.

And they rhymed. For most of his life, Clint thought they were poetry.

He hated poetry. He never understood the need for poetry.

Yeah, his words were kind of sweet. They were nice, he supposed, a nice thing to hear.

But they were so … unbelievably… untrue.

He loved them, because he thought he’ll enjoy hearing them from his soulmate’s lips. But he hated them, because they were so hurtfully untrue, his soulmate will be utterly disappointed.

→♫←

When Clint moved into the Avengers tower, it only took 30 seconds to make him hate his words with a new vengeance.

He was playing poker with Natasha and Steve, and the tv was running in the background, on a random music station.

One song made Natasha stop playing and turn to look at the tv, so of course, Clint did the same. It was a video of some boyband, and the corner of the screen let Clint know that it was One Direction.

He heard about them, of course, the whole world did. Well, maybe except for Steve. So Clint knew enough to know that he absolutely hated One Direction. Even if he never actually listened to a song.

And then, THEN, they got to the chorus, and Clint watched in morbid fascination as the pretty boys on the screen sang his words.

Natasha, who, of course, knew his words, she fell off her chair laughing.

Clint supposed it was hilarious, but not when it was happening to him.

→♫←

Darcy hated her words from the first moment she read them, because there was no way she was going to settle with the person who said them.

Really, she didn’t want much from her soulmate. She wasn’t picky, she didn’t care what her soulmate will have in his/hers pants, didn’t care what he or she did for a living, where they came from, where they wanted to end up.

But she did care about having things in common with her soulmate. And music was a very important part of Darcy’s life, always has been, always will be, and she couldn’t… she couldn’t live with someone who talked to her like that, who judged her preferences like that.

So Darcy hated her words. And she hated her soulmate.

She’d rather live her life alone than settle for them.

→♫←

Clint was mildly annoyed that Coulson put him in charge of security in Puente Antiguo, _after_ everything happened.

It was boring. Utterly boring.

On one hand, because he was in charge, he could bark orders and not actually lift one finger, so that was nice. But on the other hand, dealing with these people gave him a headache.

Doctor Selvig was talking nonstop, very excitedly, about how important Thor’s existence was. Doctor Foster was depressed, clearly, and when Clint caught a glimpse of the word _hammer_ on her arm, he got it.

Darcy Lewis, though, she was exhausting. And in charge, apparently, because she was the only person to actively do anything in terms of moving. Because that’s what Shield decided on doing with these people: moving them.

Lewis had a lot of spunk in her, considering she spent most of her time yelling instructions and insults, but thankfully, she was smart enough to realize that he was the boss. So she never once yelled or even spoke to him. Thank fuck for that.

Still, when Coulson made him include a full assessment in his report, he had enough data. Darcy Lewis was batshit crazy, young and filled with typical college student rage and pop culture references. But she was also fast on her feet and had a lot of street smarts.

So when, years later, Tony announced that Foster and Lewis will be moving into the tower, that he and Bruce will be helping them with reopening the bridge to Asgard, Clint mentally prepared himself.

→♫←

Darcy wasn’t so sure that moving in with the Avengers was the best idea.

Not after what Jane and she went through, in Puente Antiguo and London, and not after everything the Avengers went through, New York, Ultron, Civil War. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

But Jane was close, really close, and she was sure that with Stark and Banner’s help, she will be able to bring Thor back. Darcy couldn’t deny her that, and she couldn’t not go along with Jane, so here they were.

Still, it didn’t take long for Darcy to get used to it. The Avengers were normal people. Yeah, some of them had egos the size of Europe (Stark), and some of them were so bad as social interaction is was embarrassing to watch (Banner), and she was incredibly terrified by some of them (Natasha), and incredibly attracted  to some of them (Natasha and Steve), but they were okay. They were welcoming. They were friendly.

Everybody except for Hawkeye.

Darcy though he was avoiding her. She got it, she really did, she was absolutely a crap excuse for a human being last time they saw each other, but she would like to be given the opportunity to change his view on her.

But Darcy was nothing if not insistent, so she kept trying.

→♫←

It wasn’t like Clint was avoiding her, not really. He just… kept himself busy. He just mildly did his best to delay the confrontation that he was sure was going to happen.

Well, he was almost sure.

Because Lewis kept waving at him. And winking. And smiling.

He only saw her in passing, but when their eyes locked, she did something cute like that.

Clint was going to talk to her, he was, promise. But… a little bit later.

→♫←

Later came one month into their stay, and Clint didn’t plan it.

Natasha texted him a _waffle alert in the common kitchen_ , and he made his way there quickly.

He stopped, however, when he saw what was going on.

Natasha and Steve were sitting at the bar, plates stacked with waffles in front of them, watching, highly amused, as Darcy… cooked.

Well, she was making waffles, but she was also singing, using a whisk for a microphone.

Clint must have made some sort of noise, because Darcy turned to look at him and, without missing a beat, she continued her singing, this time looking straight at him.

> **Baby you light up my world like nobody else**   
>  **The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,**   
>  **But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,**   
>  **You don’t know**   
>  **You don’t know you’re beautiful!**

She was looking expectedly at him, and Clint’s mouth worked faster than his brain, so, after he managed to collect his jaw from the ground, Clint scoffed.

‘ **I don’t understand how people listen to this crap. Really, there’s so much better music out there.** ’

Darcy dropped her whisk.

When Clint looked, she was gaping at him. Eyes wide, checks red. He couldn’t handle it, so he looked at Nat.

She looked perfectly normal, clinically composed, but she was biting the inside of her cheek and her hand was digging, probably painfully, into Steve’s leg.

Nat blinked at Clint, a clear command, so he turned to look back at Darcy. Who was still gaping.

‘Can we uh… Can we try this again?’

‘Nuh-uh’, she shook her head. ‘Tattooed words mean no takebacks.’

Clint kind of heard Steve’s jaw drop.

‘I have to go’, Darcy said next, and Clint sighed, looking down.

‘Jane needs her food’, she explained, but Clint knew better. She was running, running away from him, and really, he couldn’t even blame her.

She stopped, though, on her way out. She stopped by his side, but Clint couldn’t look up at her. And she didn’t say anything.

Darcy sighed, and left the kitchen.

‘You’re a mess’, Natasha said, finally laughing.

He couldn’t even disagree with her.

→♫←

Now, Clint was man enough to admit that he was indeed, avoiding Darcy. He barely left his room for the next week, no matter how much Nat and Steve tried.

Actually, he was expecting either one of them when someone knocked on his door late one night. He really wasn’t expecting Darcy.

Standing in the hallway, in a pair of pajama bottoms and a tshirt with a cute Hulk on it, grinning at Clint and proudly presenting him with… a live One Direction dvd.

‘Really?’, he couldn’t help but whine.

‘Yup’, Darcy grinned. ‘I can’t have a soulmate that doesn’t acknowledge the greatness that is One Direction.’

Clint whined again. But then he stopped, because… because she called him her soulmate and she came to him and she was wearing comfy clothes and her hair looked really, really soft and she kept smiling, shyly at him.

‘One condition’, Clint gulped. ‘After that, we do Maiden’s Rock in Rio.’

‘Deal’, she grinned. ‘You gonna let me in now?’

He did let her in. Gosh, he did. And he kept letting her in, till she got so deep inside his soul, he will never be able to let her go.


	19. Darcy/Bruce: Culver bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Jane and Bruce are surprisingly good friends.
> 
> Or the one that started off as a funny short one, and almost 5000 words and Hulk feelings later...

Darcy was feeling a bit overwhelmed, getting a tour of the Avengers tower from Iron Man himself, and actually getting introduced to the rest of the superheroes. She could tell Jane was feeling the same, but she looked like she was a bit more composed than Darcy.

Like now. They were in the communal lounge room, and Captain America and the freaking Hulk were smiling at them.

Jane shook hands with Cap _please call me Steve_ , and then he turned to her. Darcy did her best not to squeal and make this awkward, and when that was done and she turned around, she froze.

Because Jane and Doctor Banner were grinning at each other.

‘Long time no see, dear’, Jane said, overly flirtatious.

‘Missed you a bunch, sweetheart’, he winked at her.

Then, he extended his fist for Jane to bump. She did, giggling all the while.

Afterwords, she lightly punched Doctor Banner’s shoulder. And followed that up by gently pulling on his collar, until he bent down to her level, letting Jane kiss his cheek.

‘Now’, Jane said seriously. ‘Where’s the coffee?’

Banner shook his head, but he also wrapped an arm around Jane’s shoulders and directed her to the kitchen, telling her that he still remembered how much sugar she liked.

Darcy… stared after them, until they were out of her sight.

She turned, and saw that Steve and Stark were just as shocked as she was.

‘What the hell?’, Stark said with feeling.

‘So they… know each other?’, Steve turned to look at her.

‘I don’t know’, Darcy quickly shook her head. ‘That was weird. I mean, I don’t know Doctor Banner, but I know Jane, and that… was weird.’

‘Yeah’, Steve nodded. ‘We know Bruce, and that was definitely weird.’

‘Huh’, Darcy breathed out, frowning profoundly.

‘Well this is going to be fun’, Stark grinned, and Darcy and Steve rolled their eyes.

∏

Darcy was in the twilight zone. And the twilight zone was currently the lab that Jane and Doctor Banner were sharing.

The thing was, Jane was a crazy scientist. Meaning that when she was working, she was fully immersed into it, to the point that she lost track of her surroundings. She didn’t talk, she forgot to eat and she didn’t notice what happened around her.

Seriously. Once, in Mexico, Darcy walked into the lab and there were three dogs sleeping next to Jane’s desk. She didn’t notice them.

Now, though, she chatted with Banner. Neither of them paused their work, but they talked. About former colleagues they had at Culver, about food and movies, about India and Mexico. They talked shop, too, bouncing ideas out of one another, before switching the topic back to something ridiculous.

They had inside jokes.

It wasn’t that Darcy felt left out, she was just purely in shock.

At one point, she found herself staring.

Because Bruce and Jane were talking about a dude called Doctor Meisner that apparently had a gambling problem. And Bruce was making jokes, these awful, horrible puns that were good because of that, and Jane was laughing incredibly hard.

When Darcy snapped out of it, she realized that Stark was by her side. He seemed to be as shocked as she was.

‘I’m jealous’, Stark whispered, making Darcy frown.

‘Of Banner?’

‘No’, he scoffed. ‘Of Jane.’

Which... what? Wasn’t Stark dating Pepper Potts?

‘Not like that’, he rolled his eyes. ‘But Bruce is never this cool with me.’

‘Cool?’, Darcy blinked. ‘Is that was this is?’

Stark turned to look back at them. Banner was now … imitating someone, maybe, because he pushed his nose up using his finger and he was talking in a very high pitched voice and Jane was… crying through her laughter.

‘Chummy’, Stark amended. ‘He’s never this chummy with me.’

Darcy… really had no answer to that.

∏

Darcy cornered Jane one night by bringing a bottle of tequila to her room. She let Jane drink a couple of shots, just enough to get her to talk.

‘How come you know Doctor Banner so well?’

Jane narrowed her eyes. ‘We worked together for years.’

‘How?’, Darcy frowned. ‘You’re in different fields.’

‘Well we didn’t work together-together, but in the same lab.’, Jane explained.

She took a few moments to gather her thoughts before going on, and Darcy was surprised to see some hesitance in her demeanor.

‘We were the laughing stock of our faculty. Me, with my weird ideas of portals, and him, with his futile attempts at recreating the Captain America serum. They put us together to save space and resources.’

Jane looked down at her lap, frowning.

‘I was there when the accident happened.’

‘And by accident’, Darcy tried, ‘you mean that time he turned into the Hulk and almost leveled the university?’

Jane nodded. ‘I was really sad when Bruce left. He was my only friend there.’

Well, shit. Darcy was an awful human being.

‘I’m sorry’, she told Jane, pouring her another shot. ‘I didn’t mean to make you sad.’

‘I’m not’, Jane blinked, looking back to Darcy. ‘He’s here now, and it’s good.’

Two hours later, they were both drunk, Jane more than Darcy.

‘You should be friends with Bruce’, Jane told her confidently. ‘He needs more friends, and he’d like you.’

‘Uh’, Darcy said, eloquently.

‘And you’d like him’, Jane went on. ‘He’s your type of crazy. And he’s got a great ass.’

‘Yes’, Darcy agreed. ‘But Thor wouldn’t like that.’        

‘What does Thor have to do with Bruce’s ass?’

‘He won’t like you talking about Bruce’s great ass.’

‘HA!’, Jane yelped, pointing a finger at Darcy’s face. ‘So you admit he has a great ass!’

Darcy lost track of the conversation after that.

∏

When they got to the lab the next morning, Banner threw them a look.

‘Fun night, ladies?’

Jane groaned. ‘Why are you yelling?’

Banner snickered under his breath. But he also made them coffee.

Darcy was too hungover to realize that it was weird, that he knew exactly how she liked her coffee. She also didn’t bat an eye when Banner asked her to call him Bruce.

∏

A week later, Darcy was in the kitchen, making herself dinner, casually chatting with Steve.

Jane and Banner barged in, hand in hand.

‘Darcy!’, Jane said forcefully. ‘We’re getting drunk, come on!’

‘What happened?’, she asked.

‘We have to wait for Stark to make us a thing’, Jane waved a hand, absently. ‘So we’re bored.’

‘You’re not invited!’, Banner pointed a finger at Steve.

Cap pouted. ‘Why not?’

‘Cause you can’t get drunk, you’d be the only one sober, and that’s depressing.’

There was a pause.

‘Fair enough’, Steve shrugged, and Darcy really wasn’t expecting that.

She also didn’t expect Banner to grab her hand and drag her away to his apartment, but that’s exactly what happened.

∏

Two hours later, she was drunk. They all were. So when Darcy gathered enough courage to ask, they didn’t look at her like she was crazy.

‘Did you two ever hook up?’

Jane giggled.

Bruce smirked. ‘Depends on who you ask.’

‘What does that mean?’, Darcy narrowed her eyes.

‘People thought I was cheating on Betty with Jane.’

‘Which was ridiculous’, Jane rolled her eyes, ‘cause you two were the most adorable couple ever.’

There was a pause, and then Jane winced. ‘Sorry, Bruce.’

He shrugged. ‘It’s all in the past.’

‘So … you didn’t hook up?’, Darcy needed to clarify.

‘Nope’, Bruce smiled at her.

‘I wouldn’t have minded’, Jane offered, blushing furiously afterwards.

Bruce laughed, leaning into her space.

‘All you have to do is ask, Jane’, he said in a very flirtatious voice, that, honestly, did _things_ to Darcy, especially to her stomach and a bit under.

‘Nu-uh’, Jane shook her head, gently pushing him away. ‘Thor would smite you.’

Bruce snorted. ‘The other guy can take Thor. Has, actually, that one time.’

Jane and Darcy shared a shocked look.

‘Really?’, Jane asked.

‘Is there video?’, Darcy added.

And that is how they ended up on the floor, backs against the couch, with Bruce in the middle, watching Hulk footage on the tv.

It was all nice and fun, and then Jarvis put up the footage of the Hulk and Loki in the tower.

Darcy lost it.

She completely lost it.

She curled up into a ball with her head in Bruce’s lap and she laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

Darcy might have told him he was awesome. He might have pet her hair.

She couldn’t be sure, because she fell asleep.

∏

Darcy woke up some time later, it couldn’t have been too long, because her head was still spinning. It took her a few beats for her to realize what wake her up, and it wasn’t the fact that Bruce’s fingers were still in her hair, or that his other hand was on her hip. She wasn’t woken up by Jane’s snores, either.

No, she was woken up by Steve’s giggles.

‘Sorry’, he whispered. ‘I just wanted to check up on you.’

Darcy got up, thankfully not waking Bruce. It took a while, and Steve had to steady her with a hand around her wrist, but she did manage to stand up.

‘Can you pick Jane up and take her to bed?’

Steve nodded, expression very serious. He easily picked Jane up, and she didn’t really wake, she just snuggled against Cap’s chest.

‘I don’t know where your rooms are’, he winced, and Darcy shook her head.

‘Too far away’, was all she said, before stumbling over her feet down the hall, to Bruce’s bedroom.

Steve didn’t comment, he just gently sat Jane down on one side of the bed and tucked her in.

Cap looked like he wanted to say something more, but Darcy started unbuttoning her pants, so he just bid her a quick goodnight and ran out of the room.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, Darcy fell asleep.

∏

When she woke up, her head was pounding, but thankfully, she remembered the events of the night before.

Jane was still asleep next to her, having stolen the covers. The dark blue covers, Darcy noted. She looked around the room, seeing it for the first time.

It was a nice room, as everything was in the Stark Tower. The perfect blend of warm wood and stainless steel, but Darcy was pleasantly surprised to see that Bruce actually did some decorating.

There was a plush, fluffy carpet by the bed. It was light blue and Darcy knew that Bruce probably used it for his yoga. There was a picture on the wall opposite of the bed, a huge photograph of a beach, with bright blue water and pale blue sky.

It was quite beautiful, Darcy thought. It matches the drapes, and the carpet and the blue bed sheets.

She wouldn’t have pegged Bruce for the type of guy to match his decorations. But what did she know, anyway?

With that, she made her way to the bathroom. She washed her teeth using her finger as a toothbrush, she stole a hair tie from the counter (intending on asking Bruce why he had it sometime later). The thought of putting back her pants made her feel squeamish, so she didn’t hesitate in picking up a purple shirt that Bruce left on top of his hamper.

She tied it expertly around her waist, in a makeshift skirt, and after washing her face with cold water one more time, Darcy went back to the bedroom.

Jane was still snoring, so she let her be. Slowly making her way into the living room, Darcy was surprised to see that it was empty. But the couch looked like it was slept on, and the shirt Bruce was wearing last night was piled up at the edge of it.

Her stomach growling snapped her out of staring at them. So Darcy made her way to the communal kitchen, wincing against the bright lights.

It was barely 8AM, but beyond Bruce, who she was expecting to be there, so were Clint and Natasha.

‘Is that my shirt?’, were the first words that came out of Bruce’s mouth.

‘Pants are evil’, were Darcy’s, as she collapsed into the chair next to him.

A couple of seconds later, there was a purple mug filled with coffee in her eyesight, and Darcy greedily took it. After she drank half of it, she noticed that Clint and Natasha were watching her with equally raised eyebrows.

‘What did you do last night?’, Clint asked slowly, his eyes flickering between Darcy and Bruce.

Bruce was silent, so she shrugged.

‘Got drunk. Gossiped. Watched Hulk footage. Feel asleep.’

That was a good summary, she thought. Almost.

‘I woke up when Steve checked on us’, Darcy felt the need to add, leaning her head on Bruce’s shoulder. ‘Moved to bed.’

That, for some reason, made Clint raise both of his eyebrows.

‘I vaguely remember Steve getting me to the couch’, Bruce said, slowly.

‘Right’, Clint said just as slowly.

Darcy shook her head, and drank the rest of the coffee.

‘Jane’s still asleep. Should I wake her up?’, she asked Bruce.

He shook his head. ‘Tony still has a few hours of work. Let her sleep.’

‘Mkey’, Darcy nodded. ‘Can I go back to sleep too?’

Bruce snorted. ‘Not here, though.’

‘Fine’, she puffed, getting up from the chair. She faltered, but Bruce’s instincts were sharp, so he steadied her with his hands on her waist.

It made Darcy pause, because … it felt nice. His hands were warmer than she thought they’d be, she could feel their heat through her clothes. And they were big, but not alarmingly so.

‘Okay?’, Bruce asked slowly, frowning up at her.

He didn’t take his hands back, so Darcy nodded, as she gently pushed them away.

She left the kitchen without another word, because her brain was frizzing.

∏

Three days later, Darcy was actually out of the tower, for once. She needed some new clothes, but she didn’t want to linger, knowing that her scientists were busting their asses in the lab.

So she’s only been out of the Tower for two hours, but it was enough, apparently, for the Avengers to assemble.

Darcy had no idea what happened, and really, she was ignoring her surroundings pretty well, thinking about how she’ll be able to convince Jane, Bruce and Tony to take a break.

So she was very surprised when she turned a corner and was met with the Hulk.

Kudos for her, but she didn’t scream.

She just… stared. At the Hulk.

It didn’t look like he was fighting anything. Darcy, now actually looking around her, she couldn’t see any threats around. Just the Hulk.

Who was just… sitting there. In the middle of the street. Surrounded by wrecked cars and small pits of fire.

There wasn’t anybody else in sight. Not the Avengers, not any civilians.

Just the Hulk, Darcy… and her shopping bags.

She saw the Hulk take a deep breath, and then he turned around, looking straight at her.

Again, she didn’t scream when the Hulk took a step towards her, enough to get him right in her face.

‘Hey there, Big Guy’, she breathed out. ‘Are you okay?’

He tilted his head, but after a second, he grunted. It sounded affirmative.

‘What about the others?’

He repeated the same sound.

‘Good’, Darcy breathed out. ‘Good work, Big Guy.’

The Hulk tilted his head again, eyes not once leaving her.

‘And uh….’, Darcy gulped. ‘How’s Bruce doing?’

The Hulk sneered. ‘Wants back.’

Darcy blinked at that. ‘Oh, he… okay. Do you… Do you think you can let him do that?’

It took a couple of seconds, before the Hulk extended a hand to her.

‘Lullaby’, was all he said.

‘I don’t know your lullaby’, Darcy frowned, finally freaking out a bit. ‘That’s Natasha’s thing.’

The Hulk shook his head, hand still stretched in front of him.

‘Darcy lullaby.’

She gasped at that. That… wasn’t…

Darcy stared at him for a long, long time. He was still Bruce, under all the green. The Hulk had the same features, and the same look in his eyes. The Hulk looked at her the same way Bruce did. Soft, exasperated.

‘Darcy lullaby’, he said again, and it made Darcy move.

She didn’t’ hesitate as she put her hand in the Hulk’s outstretched one. He didn’t move, but Darcy did.

His hand was a lot larger than hers, nothing like Bruce’s hand, so Darcy started running her fingers over it, gently.

The Hulk kept looking at her.

‘I’m not much of a singer’, she said, and the Hulk huffed.

‘Try’, he grunted, and it made Darcy smile up at him. She frowned after, trying to think of a song that was appropriate.

Because maybe starting to sing Baby got back wasn’t the best idea.

Her mind went to one song she listened to that morning. It didn’t fit, not… not really. But she took a deep breath, put both of her hands in the Hulk’s one, and she started [singing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqUsAHTUPTU).

> _And I took you by the hand_  
>  And we stood tall  
>  And remembered our own land  
>  What we lived for

She looked up at the Hulk, and he was just … watching her. Blinking slowly.

Darcy kept on singing.

> _And there will come a time you’ll see_  
>  With no more tears and love with not break your heart  
>  But dismiss your fears  
>  Get over your hill and see  
>  What you find there with grace in your heart  
>  And flowers in your hair

She got to the end of the song, but the Hulk was still the Hulk, still looking at her with big eyes.

But he wasn’t breathing heavily anymore, Darcy noticed. And he didn’t seem as tense as before. So Darcy kept on singing.

She had to sing the entire song twice before the Hulk showed any sign of receding.

His hand twitched, under Darcy’s fingers, before he took it away.

Then, slowly, and probably painfully, right under her eyes, the Hulk went away and Bruce came back.

He fell to the ground, slowly shrieking, green skin being replaced with pink one. Bruce was groaning and she heard his bones cracking, and it was horrible.

Her heart broke. It was absolutely torture to watch, but she did. She never once looked away, and when it was finally Bruce on the ground in front of her, just Bruce, that’s when Darcy moved.

She took off her shirt. Weird thing to do, yes, but it was his shirt, the one she stole when they got drunk. She never gave it back, he never asked for it, so Darcy washed it and started wearing it over tank tops.

Darcy kneeled next to Bruce, wrapping her fingers around his wrist. He flinched, but when his eyes locked on her, he frowned.

‘Come on’, Darcy smiled at him, gently tugging. ‘I don’t think you enjoy being half naked in the middle of the street’, she handed him the shirt, ‘and you look like you could use some chocolate.’

She was startled when Iron Man landed next to them.

‘That was beautiful’, Tony said, his mask receding into the suit. The bastard was grinning. ‘Didn’t know you had it in you, Lewis.’

‘You should have ran’, Bruce said, gruffly and, if she wasn’t mistaken, angrily.

‘Probably’, she admitted, throwing him a look. ‘But the Hulk likes me just as much as you do, so…’

Bruce looked down at that, sighing deeply. But he also got up, extending a hand to Darcy and pulling her up as well.

As he put on his shirt, Darcy turned to Tony.

‘Where’s Natasha?’, she asked, and Tony raised an amused eyebrow.

‘Oh, we were all close by. We just wanted to see what would happen.’

Bruce turned his angry glare to him. ‘I could’ve hurt her.’, he all but yell.

Tony waved him off. ‘I would’ve flown her out of here before you got to lay a finger on her.’

‘Plus’, Tony went on when Bruce didn’t say anything else. ‘It’s good that we have a back up for Natasha. And this one’s way cooler’, he turned to look at her, ‘What was that song?’

Darcy turned around and left without another word.

∏

‘I want to yell at you’, Jane told her around a glass of whiskey a couple of hours later. ‘Because that was incredibly dangerous.’

‘But…’, Darcy raised an eyebrow, because she knew it was coming.

‘But this is going to be good for you.’, Jane said, strongly believing it.

Darcy frowned. ‘For me or for him?’

‘Both.’

She had no idea what that meant.

∏

The next day, when Darcy got to the lab bringing lunch, Jane and Bruce were deep into an argument.

Darcy didn’t get to hear a lot, not enough to make sense of it. Jane was yelling at Bruce, saying that he was an idiot and that she knew that everybody else talked to him about it. That he should just try, because it would be amazing and awesome and so fucking good.

Of course, the conversation stopped as soon as they noticed Darcy. She didn’t ask, although she wanted to. Boy, did she want to, because she was pretty sure it had something to do with her.

But Darcy didn’t ask. Instead, she just gave them lunch, made sure they started eating, and jokingly asked them not to kill each other.

If she spent the rest of the day in the gym, taking out the frustration she didn’t even understand, well, nobody was there to see. Except for Jarvis.

And maybe Steve, but thankfully, he knew her good enough to know he needed to stay away.

∏

She was just getting out of the shower that evening when there was a knock on her door.

Bruce was shifting awkwardly, not managing to meet her eyes. But he did extend something purple to her, and it took Darcy a beat to recognize that it was his shirt.

She said as much.

Bruce smiled. ‘It’s your shirt by now.’

Darcy hesitated, but she did take it. And, considering she was wearing just a tank top, she put it on right then and there, making Bruce’s smile widen.

‘So here’s the thing’, he said, taking a deep breath before locking eyes with her. ‘Jane has been bugging me for a long while now, that we’re … that you and I could be friends. Good friends.’

Darcy frowned. ‘I thought we were.’

It made him swallow thickly. ‘We are, but I think that… we should get to know each other better.’

‘Okay’, Darcy said slowly. ‘Does this have anything to do with what happened with the other guy?’

Bruce snorted, a bit. ‘I should have done this weeks ago, but yes, the fact that you are one of the few people the other guy doesn’t want to kill on sight, it gave me enough courage to do this.’

‘And what is this?’, Darcy was very confused.

Bruce shrugged. ‘An invitation to the pizza place down the block? A beer or two? Some friendly conversation?’

‘Just friendly?’, Darcy said before she could stop herself.

Because she figured out, earlier today, that she wanted more than that. And she realized that Jane has been hinting at it for a while.

Bruce, apparently, thought the same, because he smiled.

‘For now.’, he said slowly. ‘If you’d be willing to accept that.’

‘Huh’, Darcy breathed out. She also turned around to grab her phone and wallet.

‘Just…’, she leveled Bruce with a look. ‘I would appreciate it if singing will not end up being a staple in our _friendship_ ’ . She had to tinge the word with sarcasm, she couldn’t help herself.

‘I promise our friendship’, he raised an eyebrow, ‘will not involve any singing on your part. You’ll have to take it up with the other guy, thought.’

Darcy snorted. ‘Like you’d let me anywhere near him every again.’

He didn’t deny it, which Darcy knew he wouldn’t. Still, she put on a smile and followed him out of the Tower.

∏

Over the next couple of months, Darcy spent her evenings socializing. She was either out for dinner with Bruce, or she was drinking with Jane. At least once a week, all three of them would spent an evening together, and once a month, there was a movie night with the Avengers.

She did get to know Bruce better. And the more time she spent with her, the more Darcy liked him.

She liked him a lot, and considering he didn’t run away yet, he probably liked her as well.

Their relationship evolved steadily and naturally, and really, Darcy didn’t even notice when the low-key dinners turned into dates.

But somewhere along the way, he started walking her to her door before going to bed, and he brought her flowers, every now and then. And Darcy stopped wearing jeans and jumpers at some point, she started wearing skirts and dresses, and when the restaurants turned into the type of places they got in using Tony’s name, she started wearing heels.

That didn’t mean they didn’t stay in, wearing pajamas and eating take out in front of the tv, but Bruce always made sure to have at least one fancy date a week.

∏

The next step in their relationship came naturally as well, in the sense that neither of them planned on it.

Darcy had just delivered lunch to Jane and Tony in his workshop, so she knew Bruce was alone in his lab.

He was way deep into his work, she could tell by the particular frown between his eyebrows and by the way the top two buttons of his shirt weren’t in perfect order.

So Darcy wordlessly put his lunch on the table, but she made a point in handing him the cup of tea.

He wrapped his fingers around it, smiled at her, thanked her, gave her a peck straight on the lips, and took a long drag from his tea.

Darcy… kind of froze.

Bruce did too, after a beat or two. He put his cup down with more force than it was necessary. Then, he turned to look at her, in shock and utterly embarrassed. Clearly.

‘I can’t believe I just did that’, he whispered.

Darcy narrowed her eyes. ‘I can’t believe you stopped at just that.’

Bruce blinked twice. And then he pounced.

Next thing Darcy was aware of, she was sitting on a lab bench, Bruce was standing between her knees, his hands were on her thighs, hers were in his hair and both of them had a bit of trouble breathing, considering their mouths were otherwise occupied.

‘YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES’

Darcy would’ve fallen off the table if Bruce wasn’t there. They stopped kissing when the battle scream startled them, but Bruce didn’t really let go of her, as he slowly turned around to look at the door.

Jane had just stepped inside, even though now she was on her knees, with her hands held high.

‘Thank the lord and god and all the gods!’, she all but shrieked. ‘Finally, my prayers have been answered!’

Before Darcy could even comprehend what was happening, Jane got up and ran to their side.

She kissed Darcy’s cheek, and then Bruce, and then Darcy’s again.

‘I am so happy!’, Jane shrieked, straight into their ears.

Darcy was sure this was some sort of outer body experience. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. She was still dizzy for being kissed senseless by Bruce, his hands were still on her body and Jane was hugging them both and making these cute, little, excited noises.

She left as quickly as she came in, all but running out of the lab, screeching something about Tony owing her 50 bucks.

‘I’m pretty sure Tony's going to want to see the footage.’

Darcy looked at Bruce when he said that. He was looking at her as he always did, soft and exasperated. But there was a hint of playfulness in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

It was that, that made Darcy take a deep breath and boldly lower her hands to his ass.

‘Wanna put on a show?’, she breathed out, and Bruce rolled his eyes, but he also brought his hands higher on her thigh, under her skirt. And he also kissed her, hard and fast and by the time Tony was begging them to stop over the intercom, because Jane wanted to actually get some work done, Darcy knew she won’t be spending the night in her bed.

Judging by Bruce’s smug smirk, he knew it as well.


	20. Darcy/Steve: I can't believe I did that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five things Darcy can say she did to Captain America, and one thing he can say he did to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ending of this is filth. oops.

There are some stories that Darcy could tell, but nobody would ever, not in a million years, believe her. Stories regarding things that happened between her and Captain America.

The top 5 goes like this:

  1. Darcy punched Captain America in the balls
  2. Darcy threw up on Captain America’s slippers
  3. Darcy blew glitter in Captain America’s face
  4. Darcy walked in on a naked Captain America
  5. Darcy heard Captain America swear so filthy, it made her blush



Yeah, nobody would ever believe her. Still, these were all things that happened.

 

**⁰One**

On one hand, yes, Darcy was glad that the Avengers offered her and Jane a safe place to stay in their tower. But, on the other hand, she was still jumpy, considering it’s been only two days since she was kidnapped and slightly tortured for information.

God bless Clint Barton, really. Darcy still had no idea how the hell he found them, or why he even looked for them in the first place, but Hawkeye did save them from the nasty kidnappers.

He couldn’t be by her side 24/7, though, and Darcy was still jumpy and not sleeping. So late one night, as she was aimlessly roaming the halls, when she felt someone put a hand on her shoulder, Darcy reacted.

Pretty well, she thought, as she screamed Jarvis’ name to alert him, turned on her heel, and punched the guy in the balls. Hard.

As he fell to the floor, groaning, Darcy was pleased to see that he looked kind of surprised.

‘Captain Rogers’, Jarvis’s voice sounded over the guy’s wailing, ‘do you need medical?’

‘M’fine’, the guy managed to say, and Darcy frowned.

Jarvis called him Captain Rogers, and she didn’t get to meet Captain America yet, so she didn’t know how he really looked like, but Jarvis was never wrong, so that meant-

‘Oh my god!’, Darcy shrieked. ‘I am so sorry.’

‘It’s okay’, he wheezed out, managing to get halfway up. He was still sitting on the floor, hands over his junk, but he was sitting up, looking at her.

‘You pack a mean punch Miss Lewis, but rest assured, you are safe here. There’s no need for’, he gulped, ‘any more of this.’

Great way to make a first impression, Darcy thought, as she all but ran out of there.

 

**⁰Two**

Clint was an amazing human being, Darcy was sure of it.

He helped her a lot, during the first weeks of her stay in the tower. He never out right said it, and she didn’t even realize he was doing it at the time, but Clint helped Darcy to deal with the aftermath of the kidnapping.

Mostly, he just did ridiculous things to make her feel lighter, to make her laugh and to make her exasperated. It helped. The pranks, surprisingly enough, helped.

The ways he found to prank her were never too rough or in bad taste, but they were fun and easy going. And the fact that Darcy had to think of ways to retaliate, it helped her mind ease off the dark path it was heading on.

It was all fun and games, between her and Clint, until one morning.

Still half asleep, she didn’t really bat an eye when Clint gave her a cup of coffee.  Darcy took it and greedily drank from it.

She was aware of Steve bidding them a good morning, and she was aware of him coming to her side, wanting to reach the fruit bowl that was in front of her.

But Darcy couldn’t stop. The moment she realized that her coffee had salt in it, she threw up.

Instantly.

She had half a mind to aim for the floor, not for the table, but unfortunately, she didn’t take into account the fact that Steve was by her side.

So she threw up all over his slippers.

On any other occasion, Darcy would’ve teased the hell out of Steve for the fact that he was wearing dark blue fluffy slippers.

She couldn’t do that now, considering she threw up on them.

Clint was laughing like the asshole he was and Steve had a very particular disgusted look on his face.

He wordlessly stepped out of the slippers. He also took off his socks, piling them on top of the ruined footwear.

‘Jarvis, sent someone to clean up’, Steve said with authority, ‘Darcy, eat a slice of lemon, Clint’, he paused, glaring at the other Avengers, ‘you’re training with me today.’

It made Darcy feel marginally better.

 

**⁰Three**

After the salted coffee “incident”, Darcy spent a couple of days thinking of her retaliation.

She didn’t want to make Clint throw up, no, she didn’t want to do anything physical, hurt him in any way. But she wanted it to be annoying.

So she grabbed a bag filled with bright pink chunky glitter, and waited until Clint was bound to come out of the gym. He was going to be a sweaty mess, so the damage will be maximum.

Darcy waited around the corner from the gym, until she heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. Then, she took a deep breath, and just as the footsteps were about to round around her corner, Darcy stepped out and blew all the glitter straight at his face.

She thought it was Clint, considering he was usually by himself at this time of night.

But it wasn’t Clint, it was Steve.

‘I’m sorry’, Darcy whispered, not managing to look away. Because he looked amazing, sweaty and shirtless, covered in pink glitter. It was absolutely pornographic.

He also looked murderous.

‘Was this for Clint?’, he asked, after clearing most of the glitter around his mouth (just most of it, because it’s been a while since Steve shaved, he’s been supporting a proper beard for the past month or so).

Darcy nodded, opening her mouth, fully intending to apologize.

He stopped her, by raising a hand. ‘Just don’t. And please, for the love of everything that is holy, keep your foreplay in your bedroom.’

Steve left without another word, not giving Darcy a chance to deny it.

Two weeks later, Steve was still complaining about the pieces of glitter he kept finding.

 

**⁰Four**

She honestly didn’t even notice what room she was running into.

But, apparently, she ended up in the men’s locker room, because there was a naked Steve Rogers staring at her.

Darcy gulped, and turned around, facing the door. She locked it, and counted to 12 before Cap said anything.

‘What’s wrong?’, he asked slowly.

‘Nothing’, Darcy said quickly, trying to ignore the sounds of fabric against skin. ‘I’m hiding from Natasha.’

There was a snort. ‘Then be sure she already knows where you are.’

He had a point, but Darcy wasn’t about to admit defeat, so she didn’t say anything.

‘It’s safe to turn around’, Steve said next, but he didn’t give Darcy a turn to speak. ‘And why are you hiding from Nat?’

She didn’t turn around immediately, opting to take a couple of deep breaths and will her blush down, along with the deep flash of want she felt in her stomach.

‘She wants to train’, Darcy finally groaned, thankful that Steve didn’t mention her rather lengthy pause.

He raised an eyebrow. ‘You have trained with her before.’

‘Yes, but it's not happening today or for the next 4 or 5 days.’

‘Have you tried telling her that?’, Steve seemed amused now, and she was kinda surprised that he didn’t fluster around at the thought of a lady’s period.

Darcy was proud of him, so she smiled before she nodded. ‘She just kept going on and on about how the badguys are not going to care if I beat or not unplanned pregnancy.’

Steve snorted at that, but he also shut his locker with a loud bang before turning to grin at her.

‘Well, good thing you’re busy today.’

Darcy blinked. ‘I am?’

‘Sure’, Steve kept grinning, as he unlocked the door and guided her with a hand on her lower back. ‘You’re supposed to help me with pop culture, remember? I believe we had a Star Wars marathon scheduled.’

Darcy would’ve kissed him right there and then, if it wasn’t for the fact that he didn’t see her like that, and if it wasn’t for Natasha glaring at them down the hall.

 

**⁰Five**

‘Stark, I swear to whatever god you choose’, Darcy heard Steve growl.

She stopped, just outside of Tony’s workshop, and she listened in, feeling only half ashamed about it.

‘If you keep going on about this’, Steve went on, ‘I will fuck you up. I will fuck you up so badly you won’t be able to walk for a month.’

‘Hey, now-‘, Tony tried, but Steve didn’t let him.

‘I will fuck you up the ass with an electric chainsaw. I will tie you down with chains -‘

Darcy just stood there, frozen in place, listening to Steve swear. On and on and on he said all the things he was going to do to Tony, if he didn't stop whatever it was he was doing, and really, Darcy grew up with three older brothers and a lumberjack for a father.

Still. She blushed.

**⁰Plus one**

They just lay there, side by side in her bed, still panting, still sweaty and filthy.

‘I can’t believe I just did that’, Steve was the first one to catch his breath.

Darcy snorted and turned her head to look at him. She wasn’t able to do more than that, considering her hands and legs were still shaking.

‘Which part?’, she asked. ‘When you called me an obnoxious annoying dame, when you got so angry you kissed me to shut me up, when you fucked me against the wall, or when, after we finally made it to bed, you actually remembered to pull out on time?’

Steve turned to look at her as well, not embarrassed at all.

‘The part that came after that, actually.’

Darcy raised an eyebrow. ‘When you came on my tits?’

‘Yeah. I can’t believe I did that.’

Darcy scoffed. ‘That I can believe, they’re pretty amazing tits. It’s the … I can’t believe everything that happened before that.’

Steve narrowed his eyes. ‘Will you believe it if it happens again?’

‘Sure’, Darcy giggled, but honestly, Steve was on top of her before she actually got to finish saying the word.


	21. Kate/Clint: Sit and wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [**I used bleep0bleep's sfw prompt generator ******](http://bleep0bleep.tumblr.com/prompts):  
>  Setting: Highway rest stop  
>  Genre: undefined   
>  Trope: Soulmates (Names, Timers, Identifying Marks, etc)   
>  Prompt: Talking and communication issues

Clint stared at the table without even seeing it.

He just had to wait. That was it. He called Cap, told him he couldn't hear, where he was, asked for a quick exit. Steve texted him back, giving him a 20 minutes ETA.

It wasn’t that bad. All Clint had to do was wait.

Sit and wait.

Sit here, in the dodgy diner at the side of I-90, hoping the Russian mobsters weren’t able to track him down.

Sit and wait.

Sit here, not thinking about how Barney betrayed him, sold him straight to the Russian mobsters.

Sit and wait.

Sit here, and not hear a god damn thing.

Sit and wait.

Ignore the pain in his ears and in his bones and ignore the pain in his heart.

Sit and wait.

Keep his bag close and accessible, because it held his bow and quiver.

Sit and wait.

Clint startled when he saw a pair of red nails hitting the table, right under his nose.

He looked up before attacking, and it was a good thing, because there was a waitress looking expectedly at him.

_[said water??! you having]_

Clint hadn’t practice in a while. Still, it wasn’t that hard to figure it out, even if he only half-read her lips. He raised his hands to sign, but the waitress looked at him like he was insane.

So, instead, Clint pulled out his phone and typed ‘coffee’ on it.

By the time the waitress came back with his drink, Clint was calm enough to not stab her with a fork. He ordered another cup before she left and greedily drank.

The coffee was horrible and it burned his throat. 

Sit and wait.

Cap was 10 minutes out.

No sign of the bros.

Sit and wait.

He ran a finger over his ear, careful to not take off his hood. Clint’s ears were still bleeding. He wiped his hand on his jeans.

Sit and wait.

He felt her before he saw her.

A young woman, with dark hair and bright blue eyes. Her lip was split, she was wearing a purple tank top and jeans shorts and she was grinning at him.

Then, she started signing.

**Hello. Can I sit here? You look like you could use a talk.**

Clint’s jaw dropped. He always wondered why the words tattooed on his collarbone were jagged, made out of interrupted lines. Apparently, it was because they weren’t spoken, but signed.

That meant that this woman was his soulmate. He managed to nod.

She raised an eyebrow at him, and when Clint didn’t do anything, she rolled her eyes and stole his cup of coffee. The waitress brought him another one then, so he didn’t comment on it.

 **Dude, you’re staring.** , she signed next. **It’s creeping me out. Are you a rapist or something?**

Clint rolled his eyes. **I’m not a rapist, I just didn’t expect you to be this young.**

Only after he finished signing, did Clint realize that maybe he should have thought of something better to say. He should have had better first words for his soulmate.

It was her turn to stare at him with her jaw dropped. It didn’t last long, though. She blinked, closing her mouth, pursing her lips together. Then her eyes roamed over his face, quickly and interested.

And then, she smiled.

**You look exactly like I wanted you to.**

Clint blushed in what felt like the first time in forever. He started signing something, probably something stupid like **what the hell** , but he stopped when he noticed that the woman wasn’t looking at him anymore.

Instead, she was looking at something over Clint’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but notice, that she was sitting stiffly, all her muscles tense, and her eyes wide. It was a big change from 5 seconds ago.

Clint turned around, slowly, just in time to see two dozen bros walking into the diner, guns ready. They haven’t seen him yet, so Clint had enough time to grab a flash arrow and his bow.

No more sitting and waiting.

He swiftly got up and shot it at their feet, and turned around in time to not be blinded himself.

Then instinct took hold, and he all but jumped over the table, wrapping his arms around the girl, pushing her under. She said something to him, but Clint didn’t pick it up.

 **Stand down. You’ll be safe.** , he signed with one hand, hoping she'll understand it.

With that, he was up.

By the time Cap landed in one of Stark’s planes, the bros were all on the ground. Not dead, just incapacitated.

When Steve saw him, his face turned pale. Clint didn’t understand it, but Steve touched his ear, and he remembered then.

The pain. And the silence.

He read Steve’s lips when he said _medical_ , and Clint … passed out.

In Captain America’s arms.

… He has been in more embarrassing situations.

→←

It was a month later, and Clint was at one of Stark’s parties. Really, it was the first time he was out in public since the fiasco with the bros happened, and it was taking its toll.

Clint was never one for socializing, especially the type of parties Stark threw. And he was still getting used to his new hearing aids. They were pretty fucking awesome (yes, thank you Tony, you can shut up about it now), but it’ll take some time before he'll be fully accustomed to them.

He was at the bar with Steve and Stark when his eyes landed on something purple.

Upon further inspection, it was a purple gown, covering a beautifully sculpted body. Well, ass. It took a while for Clint to be able to look away from her ass.

But he did, when she turned around. And Clint’s jaw dropped, because it was her.

‘What’s wrong?’, Steve asked.

Clint turned to Stark. ‘What did you do? Who is she? How did you even find her?’

‘Who?’, Stark frowned.

Clint wanted to point at her, but when he looked, she was already looking at him. So he didn’t point, instead he turned his back to her and glared at Stark.

‘Purple gown behind me.’

Stark looked and nodded. ‘Good taste, Barton. She is, however, very out of your league. That’s Kate Bishop.’

Clint recognized the name, she was famous enough that even he heard of her. Her father was a big shot business man, and she has been in the press since she was a child.

‘Clint’, Steve said cautiously. ‘I’ve never seen this look on your face.’

‘She’s my soulmate’, he said before he could think about it. ‘I barely spoke to her, but she’s my soulmate.’

‘Well’, Steve smiled. ‘You’re going to talk to her now, because she’s coming your way.’

He left after that, but Stark didn’t. And it was a good think, because Kate addressed him first.

‘Mr. Stark’, she said politely, and her voice was music to Clint’s ears. ‘Thank you for the invitation.’

‘Oh, don’t thank me’, Stark waved a hand. ‘I’m not in charge of the guest list.’

For a beat, the polite lady persona was gone from Kate’s eyes, replaced with a moody teenager, as she rolled her eyes at Stark and clicked her teeth.

‘Still’, she smirked, ‘it’s nice to meet you, Iron Man.’

‘I bet it is’, Stark all but leered, and Clint fought the urge to punch him.

Kate just rolled her eyes, before turning to look at him.

 **Hello**.

‘Hi’, Clint said, clearly surprising her.

‘You can talk!’, she smiled.

‘I can now’, Clint nodded. ‘I couldn’t… back then.’ He turned his head to the side and pointed at his ear. ‘I can hear, too.’

‘Nice’, she said, before hesitating. Clint couldn’t look away, because she was a beautiful thing. Young and filled with life, soft and … he didn’t want to break her.

‘I’m Kate Bishop’, she smiled, extending a hand.

‘Yeah’, Clint breathed out, taking it.

Her hand was small in his, her nails painted black and gold rings on every other ring.

But Clint expected her hands to be soft. He didn’t expect to find calluses, just like his.

He looked up at her, and she smiled.

‘You haven’t told me your name yet’, she smirked and Clint snapped out of it, letting go of her hand.

‘It’s Clint. Clint Barton.’

She snorted. ‘I know, Hawkeye. To be honest, I’ve been tracking you down for a while now, even before I knew what we were to each other.’

Clint frowned.

‘I wanted to make a deal with you’, she went on, smirking all the while. ‘If I can take a shot, your pick, but take it better then you can, then you’d train me.’

‘Shot?’, it was Stark that asked, but Kate didn’t even look at him.

‘I’m pretty damn good with a bow and arrow’, she breathed out. ‘And hand to hand cobat. And I’m decent enough with a gun.’

‘What the hell?’, was all Clint was able to say.

It made Kate giggle, and… god damn it, she was so cute.

‘How about you take me out to dinner sometime?’, she winked at him. ‘And I’ll tell you all about it.’

Clint nodded, and absently went thought the process of getting her number, but then she excused herself, saying she had an early morning the next day and needed her beauty sleep. She kissed his cheek before she left, though, and it made something snap inside of him, something warm and… exciting.

The Avengers were a bunch of bastards, because not one of them mentioned that he had the purple imprint of her lips on his cheek. He only noticed it when he got home. And if he didn't take it off until the morning, well, nobody was there to see.

→←

They don’t exactly get to have that dinner.

Two days later, Kate saves him from an oddly stealthy attack from the bros. Clint just stares, at her suit, at her bow, at her quiver, at her form and the strength and precision of her shots. He is beyond impressed.

Kate kisses him right after she deals with the bros, completely ignoring that Clint is covered in blood.

They do have dinner that night, but it’s pizza and coffee, as they spend the night on Clint’s couch, talking about everything and anything.

In the morning, Clint calls her Hawkeye, kisses her again, and takes Kate to the Avengers tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like that prompt generator. While it's done with Teen Wolf in mind, as you can see, you can also get things that fit for other fandoms. Or you can adapt what you get. Either way, it's fun and it's a challenge. (And, come on, what I got, it just screamed Hawkeye Squared!)  
> You should totally check it out. She has a nsfw generator too :)


	22. Steve/Bucky: Team Cap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or how Steve’s team treats Bucky during Civil War.  
> #TeamCap

At first, he trusted Steve because he needed to.

His memories of James Buchanan Barnes were still fuzzy, but he knew that was his name, he turned every time he heard someone saying _Bucky_ and Steve Rogers was the clearest thing he remembered. And after that first time they talked, after Steve saved him, dragged him out of hell and promised to protect him, he trusted Steve.

The rest of his team, Bucky wasn’t so sure of. But Steve trusted them with his life, and at the moment, that was enough for him. He kept an eye on them, sure, and he never fully relaxed around them, but they went to war for Captain America, against one of their own, and Steve trusted them.

But beyond this trust, Bucky didn’t know what was wrong with these people.

 

**»» Sam**

They managed to get away and hotwire a car. Sam drove, Steve sat shotgun and he got in the back. Bucky appreciated the space, he didn’t think he could handle being too close to them right now.

Steve kept looking into the rearview mirror, like he was checking Bucky was really there. Sam never looked once.

He did his research after DC, knew who Sam Wilson was and where he came from, his military background and his job of helping veterans.

But he was the first one to break the silence.

‘What do you want me to call you?’, he asked, and Bucky kind of froze at that.

He never had a name before. For Hydra, he was The Asset. It was horrible, the thought of answering to that call made his stomach turn. Steve called him Buck, and that was okay, he thought. He answered to that. James felt… wrong.

‘Bucky’, he grunted. ‘Bucky is fine. Barnes if… if you’re not comfortable with it.’

Steve threw him a soft look, that had Bucky smiling at first, and then looking away. His eyes locked with Sam in the rearview mirror.

‘Well, Bucky, nice to finally meet you.’

Bucky threw him a look. ‘We’ve met before. We’ve fought before.’

Sam snorted. ‘Not much of a fight, more of you almost killed me before I even realized what was happening.’

There was an awkward silence, filled with Steve glaring at Sam.

‘Sorry’, Bucky said, very stiffly.

‘It’s alright, man’, Sam chuckled. ‘It’s all in the past. We’re starting over now.’

And that’s exactly what they did. Bucky didn’t realize it at first, but Sam was always the one to ask him things. Where he wanted to sleep, what he wanted to drink, was that radio station okay, did the clothes fit, how did he drink his coffee.

Over time, the questions changed. They were still personal, they were a lot more personal, and it took a few days for Bucky to realize what Sam was doing.

He was treating Bucky as a patient, as one of the veterans he liked to help. He inquired about what triggers Bucky had, tried to get him to talk about the nightmares, about what happened. And he offered advice, very off hand, concealed by a joke or by friendly teasing.

And Sam watched him, but not as Bucky watched him. No, Sam watched Bucky as if he were reading a book, as if every movement he made was a metaphor, as if everything he said had a deeper meaning.

Bucky didn’t make it easy for him, that was for sure. But Sam kept on trying. Nobody else seemed to realize what he was doing, and really, he had to hand it to Sam. He was good at his job, Bucky would have easily missed it too.

‘I know what you’re doing’, Bucky told him late one night, when it was just the two of them awake in the safe house.

Sam raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m making coffee.’

‘You know what I mean.’, Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘You’re… counseling me.’

‘Am I?’, Sam asked, obviously amused.

Bucky just glared at him.

‘Well, is it working?’, Sam asked next, still smirking.

He had to admit, he didn’t know if it was working. Bucky felt as if he was getting better. The nightmares will probably never go away, as well as the paranoia and constant vigilance, but…

‘I’m breathing easier’, he said slowly. ‘I can make eye contact with someone other than Steve. And I… My brain’s still fuzzy, but I don’t mind it as much.’

‘That’s good, Bucky’, Sam smiled, that easy smile of his that made Steve return it instantly.

‘But, to be honesty’, he threw Bucky a look, ‘I don’t know if it’s my doing, or Steve’s.’

Bucky wasn’t sure either. But that didn’t make Sam stop. As days passed, as their friendship became more real with every passing second, Sam never stopped helping Bucky.

When Sam turned his back to Bucky first time during a fight, yelling ‘Buck, cover me!’, over his shoulder, that was the first time that Bucky thought that yes, what he was doing was working.

 

**»» Wanda**

She was the one Bucky was the most apprehensive about. With good reason, too.

He listened to the story Steve told about her, the way she chose to fight for what was right in Sokovia, how she lost her brother and through it all, Bucky was surprised by the amount of respect Steve was showing.

There was a memory, in the back of Bucky’s mind, about Steve talking about someone else like that. A bit breathless, a bit shocked, a bit in awe. Carter, his brain supplied the name, surprisingly.

Steve talked about Wanda Maximoff the same way he used to talk about Peggy Carter.

Except not really. There was infatuation with Peggy. Love. Steve didn’t have that with Wanda.

Still, Bucky was… afraid of Wanda.

Understandably so.

Because when they first met, she got into his brain. But Bucky was expecting it, maybe, so he made sure to not think of anything.

Maybe he would have been able to achieve that before. But now, it was impossible. So Bucky compromised, and when they met, he sang. In his head.

He didn’t really know any songs. Except for this one.

The Star Spangled Man With A Plan.

He knew it by heart, from start to finish, and really, that said a lot about his mind, didn’t it?

‘Bucky, this is Wanda. Wanda, meet Buck.’, Steve said, smiling politely.

Wanda stared at him. Bucky stared at her.

> _Who will redeem, head the call for America,_  
>  Who’ll rise and fall, give his all for America,  
>  Who’s here to prove that we can?  
>  The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!

Wanda kept staring at him. Bucky couldn’t stop the damn song even if he wanted to. So he kept going through it, in his head, completely ignoring the concerned looks Sam and Steve were giving him and the way Wanda was staring at him.

When he was done, she was still staring. Bucky had all the intention of starting again, but he didn’t, because she started laughing.

Hysterically. Wanda doubled over, clutching her stomach, and she boldly grabbed a hold of Steve’s hand to upright herself.

‘I’m sorry’, she said when she locked eyes with him. ‘The instinct to read a stranger’s mind is still strong and I am still learning. It won’t happen again, I give you my word.’

It wasn’t like he was going to trust her after that. So he nodded, slowly, and started singing again. This time, she didn’t react, so Bucky was pretty sure she wasn’t in his head anymore.

Wanda looked at Steve for a while, and then turned to Bucky again. This time, she spoke in Russian.

_‘Is the song real?’_

Bucky nodded, and responded in the same language. ‘ _I_ _t was part of a show, that he and some girls did to raise money for the war.’_

She laughed again, this time looking at a very confused Steve.

‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bucky’, Wanda grinned at him, and he couldn’t help himself, he smirked. That only confused Steve more.

True to her word, it didn’t seem like Wanda ever wandered into Bucky’s mind again.

She was a strong woman, he had to agree with Steve. But she was also… young. She giggled when Sam made a bad pun, she sang modern songs under her breath, her phone rang with something from a cartoon, as she explained, and more than once, he caught her wanting to address them with ‘sir’, before quickly changing to their names.  It was endearing.

And even more endearing was when she switched to speaking Russian. It didn’t happen often, only when she wanted to say something to Bucky, that didn’t concern the other people.

It usually was a jab at them, mostly at Steve, and it never failed to make Bucky smirk.

It was because of that, that Bucky gathered the courage to approach her when she was alone and ask what has been on his mind since the moment he found out what she could do.

‘Can you help me?’

She blinked at him for a beat before understanding came over her features. Wanda sighed, and spoke in Russian.

‘ _If the memories you seek are still there, I might be able to unlock them. But it would probably unlock all of them. And_ ’, she took a deep breath, ‘ _it would be very painful_.’

Bucky swallowed.

She smiled at him, a little, hesitantly lifting her hand and brushing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. It was weird, and it was comforting, and it was kind and gentle and everything Bucky wasn’t used to.

‘ _I don’t think you’re ready for that yet_.’, Wanda said, voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, because he really wasn’t.

She used her fingers to gently lift his head, forcing him to look at her.

‘ _If you ever are, you have my word that I will do my best to help you.’_

‘Thank you’, Bucky said with a lot of emotion, meaning it 100%.

A couple of hours later, Steve stumbled upon the words, but Bucky picked up enough of them to realize what he was awkwardly trying to ask.

‘Wanda!’, he said loud enough for her to hear from the kitchen. ‘Steve’s asking if you and I wanna fuck.’

The horror on Steve’s face was only surpassed by his blush.

Wanda came to the room, looking completely at ease, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow.

‘Steve’, she said slowly, ‘there is not a person on this Earth, who is generally attracted to men, that would refuse to have sex with either one of you.’

Bucky had half a second of panic, but by this point, he could read Wanda well enough and he knew that while she wasn’t joking, she wasn’t really interested.

So he smirked, and threw a look at Steve. Who was still blushing, even as he was rolling his eyes.

‘I’m just saying-‘, Steve tried, but Wanda was already out of the room, and Bucky just shook his head at him.

‘No, Steve. She’s not my type.’, Bucky frowned as soon as the words were out of his mouth. ‘I don’t know what my type is, but I’m fairly sure she’s not it.’

‘You owe me flowers for that’, Wanda yelled from the kitchen, and yeah, Bucky figured that he did. He winced, and it was Steve’s turn to laugh.

 

**»» Clint**

Clint Barton was a very confusing person. Bucky had a hard time reading him.

At first, he thought he was an idiot, because an Avenger that used such an ancient weapon had to be stupid. And then he actually saw Barton shoot his arrows and the thought was erased from Bucky’s mind.

But Clint was… two sides of the same coin.

Sometimes, he was funny and sarcastic, communicating only in puns and funny faces. But other times, he said these things that threw even Bucky off.

Dark things. So dark, it made The Winter Soldier look like child’s play. And when he did, Clint had this look in his eyes, emotionless and cold. Not like… not like killers, that detached look of a cold heart, but this… Bucky didn’t know enough words to define what Clint had. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.

It was clear that the archer has been through some things in his life. Bucky wasn’t surprised to see a wordless understanding developing between them.

The type of understanding forged from sleepless nights filled with terrors and three too many glasses of alcohol.

But there was one thing that Bucky didn’t understand. It took him a while to even realize it was happening, but once he did, he couldn’t, for the life of him, understand what was happening.

Clint kept… giving him things. Food. Bucky didn’t even know where most of these things were coming from, because they weren’t in the safe house fridge or pantry.

But Hawkeye gave Bucky a Snickers bar. And a croissant, and a PopTart, and a KitKat and a bag of gummy bears, and a bag of Mini-Reese’s, and so on.

Every time they were in the same room, Clint would wordlessly hand Bucky a pack of candy. It didn’t matter what time of day or night it was, Bucky got candy.

When Clint put a bag of Oreos on Bucky’s empty plate after breakfast, he snapped.

‘Why do you keep feeding me?’

Clint blinked at him. ‘I’m … not?’

‘You are’, Bucky narrowed his eyes. ‘You keep feeding me sweets.’

Hawkeye shrugged. ‘Are you complaining?’

‘Why, Barton?’, he insisted.

It took a couple of beats, but the archer finally sighed, bumping their shoulders together in a gesture he usually reserved for Steve.

But when he spoke, Clint didn’t look at him.

‘I’m giving you sweets because you need them, because you’re too thin and too damaged and because you deserve them and wrapping you in a blanket and drowning you in hot chocolate would be inappropriate.’

There was a lengthy pause. Steve was the one to break it.

‘What?’

Clint shrugged, looking up at him, rather than at Bucky.

‘I know what it’s like to have someone fuck up your brain and make you do bad things. Cap, you know what a few days of that did to me. I can’t imagine 70 years of it.’

‘And candy is going to help?’, Bucky couldn’t help but ask, completely incredulous.

‘Probably not’, Clint winced. ‘But it shows you that no matter how fucked up you are, people still wanna do nice things for you.’

‘He’s right’, Sam said in the silence that followed. ‘He put it horribly, but he’s right.’

Bucky sighed. ‘I know that and I appreciate your concern. Thank you, but…’

‘You want me to stop with the candy?’, Clint scrunched up his nose.

Bucky nodded, handing the bag of Oreos next to him.

Clint took it, mumbled something under his breath, then Bucky understood him say ‘Okay.’

It was an odd sentiment, knowing this stranger… cared. And it didn’t sit well with Bucky.

Clint must have thought it, because he cornered Bucky later that night.

‘I don’t know you that well, and … hell, man, you don’t know yourself either. But I’ve known Cap for a while now, and he has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.’

Bucky didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything.

‘I’m going to do anything in my power’, Clint went on, ‘to keep that look on his face for as long as possible. Understood?’

Bucky nodded, what else could he do?

But he also made sure to always have Clint’s back in battle.

**»» Scott**

As good as Ant-Man was in a fight, as useless he was in downtime. For Bucky, at least.

He didn’t understand half of the things that came out of the man’s mouth, be it science talk or pop culture. Of course, Scott and Clint got along well.

The first connection came when Bucky’s arm was hit during a fight, and Scott had to fix it. He insisted on doing it in full size, with a toolbox and his hands, rather than shrink down and fix it from the inside. It was clear something about that idea bothered him, but Bucky didn’t ask.

Instead, he lay on the kitchen table and stood as stiff and still as possible.

‘Hey, so, can I ask you a question?’, Scott said at some point.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, taking his eyes away from where Ant-Man was tinkering on his arm, but he did nod.

‘Why are they after you? I mean’, Scott shrugged, ’I gathered you did something bad that pissed the government off, but what was it?’

Bucky stared at him.

‘I mean, how bad could it be?’, Scott laughed and honestly, Bucky was in shock.

‘Nobody told you?’

Scott shook his head. ‘Nope, that’s why I’m asking.’

Bucky took a deep breath, and told him. Everything. As much as he knew, at least. About who he was in the 1940, and who he was after Hydra took him.

Scott listened intently, but his fingers not once hesitated, he kept working.

‘Well that sucks’, Scott said, with feeling, after Bucky was done.

‘You… you’re not afraid?’, Bucky couldn’t help but ask. ‘Angry? Repulsed?’

That made Scott’s hands stop moving. He just… watched Bucky for a couple of seconds, blinking slowly.

‘I’m pissed off, sure.’, he finally said. ‘That after all the crap you’ve been through, they’re still being assholes.’

That… was not what Bucky expected.

Scott flicked his nose, startling him immensely.

‘Give yourself some credit, man, you’re awesome. And give me some credit, too’, he rolled his eyes, ‘I’m not stupid enough to blame you.’

Bucky really had no answer to that, so he just nodded. It was enough for Scott, because he went back to work.

‘Plus’, he said after a while, in a whisper, ‘Captain America loves you, who are we to feel anything less?’

Bucky was so grateful Steve wasn’t in the room, because he’d never stop teasing him about the blush on his cheeks.

 

**»» Steve**

The thing that Bucky appreciated most about Steve Rogers wasn’t how good of a man he was. It wasn’t the fact that he saved Bucky, it wasn’t the way he viewed the world, protected his friends and fought for what was right. It wasn’t even how good he looked in sweatpants and a sweaty tank top.

No, what Bucky appreciated most about Steve was the fact that he never pushed. Not once has he _made_ Bucky do anything.

He asked Bucky to let him help escape. _I'd like to help, if you’d let me._

He asked Bucky to trust his team. _Maybe if you get to know them, you’ll trust them._

When all was over, he asked Bucky if he wanted to move in with him. _Only if you think you’ll be able to handle me._

He asked Bucky if he wanted to help him redo the apartment. _Maybe some hands-on labor would do us some good._

He asked Bucky if it was alright to have Natasha over for dinner. _Maybe if it’s something casual, you’d understand she’s not so bad._

He asked Bucky if he wanted to join the Avengers. _There’s no pressure, only if you haven’t got any other job in mind._

He asked Bucky if he wanted to go to Coney Island. _Maybe I won’t throw up this time._

He asked Bucky if he wanted to go to the movies. _I don’t have the patience for it anymore, maybe with you there it’ll be easier._

He asked Bucky if they could just sit down and talk about it, instead of beating around the bush like a bunch of blushing teenagers. _I’d like to talk about it._

He asked Bucky if he could kiss him, _because I’d really, really want to._

Steve never pressured Bucky into doing anything.

The same couldn’t be said for Bucky.

‘Steve, I swear to god, if you don’t take off your pants right now, I’ll rip them to shreds.’


	23. Steve/Bucky: Up above the world so high

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five people who think Steve is weird for sitting in certain places, and one person who thinks it’s normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [THIS](http://darwinquark.tumblr.com/post/140478343617/is-anyone-else-just-instantly-endeared-by-people) post: Is anyone else just instantly endeared by people chillin’ on surfaces that aren’t made for sitting? Like hopped up on a counter with a cup of coffee, cross-legged on the floor eating cereal, drinking wine fully clothed in a bath tub, sprawled out on the hood of a car with snacks for a meteor shower, etc? I don’t know why I love it so much, but I do.

**→Natasha**

They didn’t see each other much. There were missions, yes, and debriefs, but beyond that, Natasha didn’t get to see a lot of Steve, even if they were technically working in the same building.

That’s why she paused when she entered the debrief room.

Hill told her over the phone a little about it, but Natasha was under the impression that she will be going in alone. So there was no reason for Steve to be here.

Still, his mere presence wasn’t what made her pause. It was the fact that Steve was sitting on the table. His legs were dangling in an irregular pattern over the edge, and he didn’t even look up when she walked in, too busy doing something on a tablet.

Steve didn’t notice her until she was right in front of him.

‘Romanoff’, he smiled easily, the smile that could make women swoon, but did nothing to her.

‘Rogers’, she responded in kind. ‘What are you doing here?’

He grinned then, turning his tablet towards her. ‘Flappy Bird.’

Natasha faltered.

‘It’s addicting’, he said, only slightly remorseful. ‘And annoying, so annoying.’

Natasha tilted her head and took a step back, and Steve immediately moved, folding his right leg under his left knee.

‘Shouldn’t you be using your time to do something more productive?’, she teased.

‘Probably’, Steve shrugged. ‘But I was told that Flappy Bird is a very important step in our evolution as a species.’

The way he said it, completely straight faced and serious, it made her snort and struggle against full on laughing.

‘Rogers!’, a harsh voice boomed, Fury coming in. ‘Get your ass off my table.’

‘Sorry, sir’, Steve said, feeling anything but.

They went on with the mission debrief, and Natasha was fully attentive to what Fury and Hill were saying, but she couldn’t quite get out of her head the image of Captain America looking like a 12 year old, sitting on a table and playing Flappy Bird.

 

**→Sam**

Sam knew Captain America.

Not just shook his hand and introduced himself at the base of a tree, but Sam _knew_ Captain America. He _knew_ Steve.

How could he not?, when not only have they fought side by side, but also roadtripped around America and half of Europe for any trace of the Winter Soldier.

Sam knew how Steve liked to drink his coffee, how he was really grumpy in the mornings before he got to it. Sam knew he liked lemon scented shampoo and used an electric razor even if he didn’t like it.

He’s seen Steve Rogers wearing socks with holes in them, seen him flirt his way out of a police ticket and that one memorable time in Italy, he’s seen Captain America throw up after some bad sea food. 

Sam has also seen Steve in some really weird positions, and it hit him on a highway, 40 miles out of Chicago.

They stopped for gas, and after Sam paid and got them some snacks, he found Steve sitting on top of the car. Not like on the hood of it, no, he was sitting on the roof. Cross legged, sketching something in his notebook.

‘I’m kinda surprised the car can hold you up.’, Sam found himself saying, making Steve roll his eyes.

‘I’m not that heavy.’

Sam just raised an eyebrow, and it took a couple of beats, but Steve did, eventually, sigh.

‘It’s one of Stark’s cars, of course it’s reinforced.’

‘Right’, Sam laughed, leaning against the car and squinting his eyes while looking at Steve, the sun harsh.

‘You know, most normal people would have sat on the hood.’

Steve snorted. ‘I’m anything but normal, Sam.’

‘Not the point, Cap. That’s not the discussion we’re having.’

That was a discussion they’ve had many times before on the road, the one where Steve was angry because he couldn’t fake being a normal, average human being, and Sam all but yelled in his face that normality was a product of society and Steve shouldn’t care what the society thinks, he should just be whomever he wants to.

Now, Steve smiled at Sam.

‘It’s a good view from up here.’

That was a lie, Sam knew it, and Steve knew that Sam knew. But Sam let it go. He sighed, but he didn’t address it anymore.

He waited until Steve finished his sketch, rolled his eyes when the man did a flip on his way down from the car, and drove them into Chicago.

 

**→Clint**

It probably was Natasha’s idea, cause he sure as hell didn’t invite anyone to his apartment. But here they were. Nat, Steve and Sam. Clint didn’t really mind it, because they brought beer and pizzas, and they all took turns playing with Lucky, so it was okay.

They spent a couple of hours talking about this and that, telling war stories and laughing, a drink always in their hands.

Clint must have fallen asleep at some point, because he woke up just as the sun was starting to come up.

Blinking wearily and ignoring the pain he always felt in his lower back when he slept on the couch, Clint stretched and got up.

Only then did he notice that Cap was still there.

He was sitting on the coffee table, that was now pushed against the wall, using it as a chair, and he was eating a bowl of cereal.

Clint honestly didn’t know he had bowls.

‘Sorry, did I wake you?’, Steve asked.

Clint shook his head.

‘There’s coffee in the kitchen’, Steve smiled, and Clint didn’t need to be told twice.

When he came back, he sat down back on the couch, facing Cap fully.

‘I walked Lucky’, Steve said. ‘He was gonna wake you up, I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have.’

‘That’s fine’, Clint waved him off. ‘This isn’t my coffee.’

Steve flinched at that. ‘You were out cold, and I didn’t know what type you usually got.’

‘It’s fine’, he said again, before drinking half of his cup. It wasn’t bad, it was probably better than what he usually got, it was just different.

‘Not that I mind’, Clint blinked his thoughts into focus, ‘but why are you still here?’

‘Nat and Sam were, and I am quoting, too drunk to move.’

Clint frowned. ‘Where are they?’

Steve winced again. ‘Your bedroom.’

He tilted his head at that, frowning and thinking about last night, about how he thought that Nat was flirting with Sam and how weird he found it.

‘I don’t know’, Steve shook his head, clearly reading his mind. ‘And I have enough of a preservation instinct to know better than to ask.’

Good point, Clint thought, so he nodded. Steve went back to his cereal.

‘Is there any more?’, Clint asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

It didn’t work, because Steve smirked. ‘In the kitchen, yeah. I also had to buy you bowls.’

‘Sorry’, Clint flinched, but Steve waved him off.

When he came back to the room, Clint realized that Captain futzing America was sitting crossed legged on his coffee table, eating cereal with one hand and petting Lucky with the other, while the Black Widow and Falcon (hopefully just) slept in his bed.

Clint’s life was weird.

 

**→Tony**

He hated sleeping, especially when Jarvis woke him up by saying ridiculous things like ‘Sir, Captain Rogers and a guest are waiting for you in the laboratory’.

When Tony got there, grumbling and yawning, and saw what was going on, he had half a mind to blast the good old Captain out of existence.

Because Captain America was sitting on his Mark 99.

The suit was still in development, and it was laying on a work table. Steve was sitting on top of the chest, right buttock on the arc reactor, legs crossed, smiling easily at Tony.

‘No’, Tony said strongly. ‘Just no.’

‘It’s holding’, Steve shrugged. ‘I asked Jarvis before, and he said you’d appreciate the testing.’

Tony narrowed his eyes. ‘I don’t like _people_ using my AI against me.’

Steve snorted. ‘I hardly call it that.’

The bastard didn’t move.

‘Cap, get off my stuff.’

He snickered, but he did come off the suit. Easily. And gracefully. Tony was bitter, but he blamed it on the lack of coffee.

‘What’s up, Capsicle?’, he sighed. ‘You woke me up, it better be good.’

Steve flinched. ‘Define good.’

Tony narrowed his eyes, as another voice said ‘Definitely not good.’

It came from behind him, and when Tony turned around, he yelped, ungracefully, taking a few steps back until he collided with Steve’s chest.

Because the Winter Soldier was sitting there.

Just lurking in the back of the lab, wearing a Stark Industries shirt and the metal hand limp by his side.

‘What the fuck?’, Tony said, vaguely acknowledging the fact that Steve was touching him, two warm hands gripping his shoulders.

‘Hello’, the Soldier said slowly, not making eye contact.

‘What the fuck?’, Tony said again. He wanted to turn to look at Steve, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t put his back to the Soldier.

‘Bucky’, Steve said pointedly, ‘needs help with the arm.’

That picked Tony’s interest, of course it did. It must have shown on his face, because the Soldier’s eyes met his.

‘It’s not listening to my brain anymore.’, he said slowly. ‘And it hurts more.’

‘Hurts?’, Tony frowned.

The Soldier nodded. ‘Shoulder. Chest.’, he frowned, looking down. ‘My head too, but that might have a different source.’

Tony could feel a headache coming along as well. He moved, until he was in line with Steve. He still had his back against a wall, but his new position made him able to look at both of the geriatrics.

‘I’m going to need more information here, Cap. Am I in danger? Is Pepper?’, he turned to look at the Soldier. ‘No offence to you, Tin Man, but you did kill a lot of people, and tried to kill Cap and Romanoff. Repeatedly.’

The Soldier flinched at that, and Steve opened his mouth, but Barnes beat him to it.

‘Missions’, he said slowly, looking at the ground. ‘They were mission, that I had no… control over. I… there are no more missions.’, he looked up. ‘I don’t want missions anymore.’

Fuck, Tony thought. He wasn’t supposed to have a heart, but he felt it breaking.

‘What _do_ you want?’, he found himself saying, against his better judgment.

‘Help.’, Barnes breathed out with difficulty. ’I want help, to get better.’

Tony couldn’t handle the look in his eyes, nor the soft and desperate one in Steve’s. He took a deep breath, intent on saying something, but Barnes didn’t let him.

‘Redemption.’, he said. ‘I want redemption. I need it.’

‘That’s … a lot of redemption’, Tony said, and Barnes nodded.

‘Especially towards you.’

‘Tony’, Steve said slowly, and he knew what was coming.

‘I know he killed my folks’, he said quickly, ‘and I know it wasn’t his call. Still’, he looked to the Soldier. ‘your brain has to be pretty fucked right now.’

Barnes smirked, a little. It was a horrible sight.

‘Yes’, he said. ‘But the arm is easier to fix.’

Tony laughed at that, knowing it will be anything but.

‘Just’, he shook his head, ‘don’t kill me dead, okay? You’ll have a very angry strawberry blonde with fire powers on your head, and a genius scientist with severe anger management issues on your ass.’

Barnes frowned and turned to Steve.

‘Long story’, Cap said. ‘We’ll get to it.’

‘Maybe after we fix the arm.’, Tony said.

He took a deep breath and got to work, but…

‘Don’t sit on my suits’, he pointed a finger at Cap’s chest.

The bastard smirked.

 

**→Bruce**

Contrary to popular belief, Bruce wasn’t a lab rat.

Well, he was, but he knew when to call it quits. He knew when he needed to eat, when his body needed sleep, when he needed a break.

So that was why he was on his way to the kitchen. The sun came up a while ago, but he knew that the rest of the residents of the tower won’t be up yet.

He made a beeline for the popcorn, and made himself a cup of coffee, fully intending to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother before returning to his lab.

But Bruce was still lost in his work, so he didn’t notice anyone else being in the lounge, not until he sat down on the couch and heard someone say his name.

He turned to the side and yelped.

Because the window was open (and he didn’t even know they could be opened), and Steve was sitting on the ledge, one leg inside, the other outside.

‘Good morning, Bruce’, he said, smiling easily.

‘Hi’, Bruce said, uncertain. ‘What uh… what’s up, Steve?’

He shrugged. ‘Nothing much outside of the usual.’

Bruce narrowed his eyes at that. It didn’t take long to figure out what, or rather, whom was on Steve’s mind.

‘How’s Barnes?’

And sure enough, Steve sighed.

‘He was asking about you, actually.’

Bruce’s eyebrows raised at that. He has met Barnes, of course, he was the first doctor to actually look him over. His medical training was basic, to say the least, but Bruce knew enough to give him sedatives and pain killers. Barnes had been stiff under his hands and he hasn’t said much, but he hadn’t tried to kill him, either.

‘He’s been talking to Clint’, Steve says. ‘The therapist Pepper found is good, very good, she does help him, but she doesn’t… know.’

‘And Clint does’, Bruce nodded. ‘Because of Loki.’

‘Yeah’, Steve sighed. ‘It helped Bucky, or so he says, talking to Clint about it, about being… controlled.’

‘That’s good, Steve’, Bruce thought he needed to hear it. ‘For Bucky, but for Barton too, I think.’

Steve hummed, but it didn’t sound very convincing.

‘Why has he been asking about me?’, Bruce finally asked, making Steve look at him.

‘He has triggers.’

‘Of course’, Bruce frowned. ‘That’s normal.’

Steve nodded, sighing. ‘Now we’re… he’s trying to find a way to fight them. To… be in control.’

Bruce tilted his head, getting up from the couch and making his way to Steve’s side. The air breezing from outside was a bit chilly, but Bruce didn’t mind it.

‘He wants to know how I keep the Hulk in control.’, Bruce deduced, and he was right, because Steve nodded.

‘I’m sorry’, he said, surprising Bruce. ‘I know you’re not comfortable discussing it, and I’ve told Bucky, you… you don’t have to.’

‘Steve-‘

‘No, Bruce, I mean it’, Steve looked at him with wide eyes. ‘You’ve all been very understanding, and incredibly helpful, and I am forever in your debt, but this, you don’t have to-‘

‘Steve’, Bruce said a bit more forcefully, managing to stop him from talking. ‘I don’t know if I can help him, considering I am not always in control, but I can try.’

‘But-‘

‘You’re right, I don’t enjoy talking about it, and it’s not something easy for me to do, but… Natasha seems to think I need to talk about it too. So… If it helped Barton, maybe it’ll help me as well.’

It took a few beats, but Steve nodded, his tense shoulders relaxing.

‘Thank you. I’ll… I’ll tell Bucky to look for you.’

‘Sure’, he smiled.

After a beat, Bruce took a step back, willing his voice to come out without any inflection. ‘Steve? Please get down from the ledge, you’re making me very uncomfortable.’

He did come down, with a chuckle, closing the window behind him.

‘Tony was right’, Steve said, suddenly grinning. ‘You are like the mother hen of the Avengers.’

Bruce’s first instinct was to punch Captain America, which would have been an awful decision, his second idea was to start denying it, which would have been pointless. So in the end, he smiled.

‘You should all be grateful I don’t make you do chores. I used to put fear into my students with talk of containers washing.’

Steve blinked. ‘I had no idea you used to teach.’

Bruce rolled his eyes and made his way back to the couch. He had tv to watch and popcorn to eat.

**→Bucky**

He overslept. Which was something he never did, not before, in his youth, not in the army, not in the ten months he has been with the Avengers in their tower.

Bucky sleeping till half past nine was unheard of. It shouldn’t have happened. Yesterday shouldn’t have been emotionally draining.

Yes, he and Steve told the team about their relationship, but they all already deduced it, apparently. And they didn’t act weird about it, when Bucky curled up next to Steve on the couch, when they held hands during the movie or kissed that one time.

It wasn’t a bad day, quite the contrary. Bucky would have said he felt happy, if he wasn’t too afraid to jinx it.

But apparently, his brain wasn’t on track, because Bucky overslept, and he woke up still feeling tired.

The rest of the Avengers were still in the kitchen, most of them, even if he was sure they all had breakfast already.

Steve was sitting up on the dining table, his legs crossed, sipping from a cup of coffee and absently listening to what Clint and Natasha were talking about, sitting next to him on chairs.

Bucky said absolutely nothing as he marched (more like dragged his feet) to him. Steve saw him coming and he put his cup down, in sync with stretching his legs, letting them dangle over the edge of the table.

Steve didn’t stop talking, as Bucky settled himself between his knees. Steve’s hands came up to his waist, and Bucky wrapped his arms around his own body, as he pushed his face in the crook of Steve’s neck.

He breathed in slowly, taking in the familiar scent, of the aftershave that smelled like before, but not exactly, and the scent of Steve.

Bucky remembered doing this before, always in the morning, because Steve was the first one up. It was different, the table in their apartment was creaky, and Steve’s frame wasn’t like this, Bucky didn’t feel safe in his arms, how he feels now. Back then, in Brooklyn, Bucky just felt like he was home.

It was different, from back then. It was still good, he still felt incredible in Steve’s arms, the scent of him and coffee filling his nose and the sound of his voice filling his ears.

But Bucky wanted to feel the same again, like he did with that creaky table, with Steve’s shaking arms against his body, with the feeling of home.

Steve wasn’t talking anymore.

‘This doesn’t work’, Bucky said, and his boyfriend chuckled, the sound reverberating between them.

‘It does work’, Steve said, his voice calm, ‘just differently than before.’

He wasn’t wrong, but Bucky still huffed, pouting his lips against Steve’s neck.

It made him move his hands, one of them moving a bit lower, close to Bucky’s ass, but not quite, the other one coming up to his neck, under his hair, the fingers scratching lightly at Bucky’s skin, in a way that made him melt.

Steve was smiling, he didn’t need to see it to know it.

‘Did you sleep well?’

Bucky shook his head, his stubble probably scratching Steve, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Steve didn’t answer, just tightened his hold a bit.

They stood like that for a couple of minutes, completely unaware of the silence that surrounded them, or of the eyes that watched them.

When Bucky started stirring, Steve placed a gentle kiss on his temple, before letting go of him, in order to reach for his cup of coffee.

Bucky didn’t move from the safety of Steve’s legs, but he did uncross his arms. The metal one went to Steve’s knee, and the other one wrapped around the coffee cup. He took a sip, wrinkled his nose because Steve liked sugar too much, but Bucky did drink all of it.

He put the cup down by Steve’s hip, wrapped his hands around his shoulders and put his face back where it belonged, at Steve’s neck.

‘You’re right’, Bucky mumbled. ‘It does work.’

Steve chuckled, his hands coming up to Bucky’s waist again, his feet planting himself on Bucky’s sides, squeezing gently.

‘I’m always right’, Steve said around a grin.

Bucky rolled his eyes and huffed, but didn’t say anything.

It was silent again, for a couple of minutes, until Bucky woke up. He yawned as he detached himself from Steve, but leaned in for a quick kiss before turning around to face the rest of the room.

Everybody was staring. They weren’t even stealthy about it, or even remotely ashamed.

Clint’s mouth was open. Tony looked like he just saw a very scary horror film. Bruce was close to dropping his cup of coffee.

Sam was grinning. And Natasha was smiling.

‘This explains so much’, she said.

‘So much’, Sam agreed.

‘What are you talking about?’, Bucky said gruffly, looking between the two of them.

‘Steve likes to… perch on things’, Natasha said slowly.

‘Weird things’, Tony added.

‘Very weird things’, Bruce shook his head, a bit.

‘It’s like…’, Clint started. ‘It’s like he forgets he’s the size of a tank now.’

Steve snorted, but didn’t say anything.

Bucky looked at him. Then he looked down at his metal arm. Then he yawned and looked up at the ceiling.

‘Jarvis?’

‘Yes, sir.’, came the quick response.

‘Between my metal arm and Steve’s tank-like appearance, we’re going to need a stronger bed.’

Everybody spluttered at that, Sam and Bruce, Natasha’s jaw dropped, Tony put a pillow over his face and Clint covered his ears.

Steve, like the bastard that he was, he grinned and playfully slapped Bucky’s ass.

‘Good idea, Buck. We should change the table, too.’


	24. Steve/Bucky: STATE VS BARNES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt Murdock volunteers to be Bucky’s lawyer for the trial.
> 
> (in a world where Civil War does not happen; Steve/Bucky eventually)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS 11.600 WORDS LONG  
> I started off with the idea that Clint knows Matt, and the trial and I just... everything escalated very quickly.

Steve was lost. They all were.

They found Bucky, well Bucky found them. Turned himself in. His words, not Steve’s.

Steve didn’t want to turn Bucky in. He wanted to take him in, run away and keep him safe. Bucky wanted to be punished for his sins.

So did the Government, the President himself wanted Bucky on trial. Steve convinced him and everybody else to not arrest Bucky, that the Avengers will keep him under wraps, so here they were, in Stark’s tower.

Tony wanted no involvement in it, on the account of the Winter Soldier killing his parents. He wouldn’t be able to hold himself objective, but he accepted that Bucky needed a safe place. To keep him safe, and to keep everyone else safe from Bucky.

So Tony gave them full access to the Tower. He left, followed Pepper to London on SI business, sent Bruce and Vision to Norway, where Jane Foster was currently working, Thor keeping her safe.

Sam stayed, of course. So did Wanda, and Nat and Clint. Steve didn’t know what they wanted, if it was to keep Bucky safe, or keep everybody else safe from him.

Truth be told, he wasn’t a threat.

Bucky was barely a shell of a man. Frightened, hurt, his memories an unsolvable puzzle, his hands stained with blood that he didn’t want to put there. Tortured, frayed, not believing he deserved anything but pain, more pain.

But Steve knew better and he promised himself he would do anything to save Bucky. He wouldn’t let him fall again.

**Δ**

‘He needs a lawyer’, Sam said.

‘Do you know any?’, Natasha countered. ‘Someone experienced enough to handle this?’

Clint snorted. ‘Nobody’s experienced enough to handle this.’

Steve looked at his friends. They were all bruised and still bleeding, but still willing to help.

And Bucky, who didn’t even look like himself. He didn’t look like the Winter Soldier either. He was shaking, slightly, wearing Steve’s clothes and his hair covering his face. His eyes were cast to his lap, where both of his hands were fisted tightly, flesh and metal.

‘Sirs and ladies’, Friday’s voice said softly, but it still startled everyone. ‘You have a guest.’

‘Who?’, Natasha asked.

‘Matt Murdock.’

Clint fell off his chair. He was up again in an instant, a giant grin on his face. He fist-pumped the air and let out an excited, victorious cry.

‘Let him up, Friday! Talk him through it, use measurements.’

‘Yes, sir!’, came the prompt response, while everybody else stared at Clint. Except for Bucky.

Hawkeye, the best marksman on Earth, was too busy bouncing excitedly in his spot to notice them.

‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of him!’, he was saying. ‘God damn, I’m dumb. Thank fuck he’s not!’

‘Who is he?’, Steve asked, maybe a bit too forcefully.

‘Best damn lawyer in Hell’s Kitchen’, Clint grinned, before winking at Steve. ‘Also, a bit of something else.’

Before he got to explain, the elevator dinged. Clint made his way towards it, as the man, Murdock, came into view.

He was tall, dark and handsome, Natasha would probably say, wearing a simple suit and a leather satchel. He also had sunglasses on, and a walking stick.

Murdock was blind, Steve realized, and it became clear when Clint wrapped their arms together and guided him to the closest chair.

‘Clint’, Murdock said. ‘Long time no see.’

‘Sorry, man’, Hawkeye snorted. ‘Been a bit busy.’

‘Yeah, I heard all about it on the news.’

Murdock sat on a barstool, leaving his bag to fall to the ground. He methodically bent his walking stick, putting it into his chest pocket, before turning around to… look at the room.

‘Right’, Clint said. ‘So. First person to your right, sitting on the armchair, is Black Widow.’

‘Mrs. Romanoff’, he politely inclined his head.

‘Keep going left, right side of the couch’, Clint went on, ‘Sam Wilson, aka Falcon. Next to him, Wanda Maximoff, aka Scarlet Witch.’

‘Miss’, Murdock said politely, and Wanda said a shy ‘hello’.

‘And, to the far left on the room.’, Clint said. ‘Cap is sitting on a chair, Barnes is sitting-‘

‘On the floor’, Murdock said, head turned straight towards Bucky. ‘In the corner, knees up to his chest.’

That made Bucky look up. ‘You can’t see’, he said gruffly.

Murdock shook his head. ‘Not exactly.’

‘Guys’, Clint said around a grin, clapping Murdock on the shoulder. ‘Meet Daredevil.’

There was an awkward silence that followed that sentence. Natasha tilted her head.

‘Uh-‘, Sam said, but didn’t move on.

Murdock smiled. ‘Friday, would you be so kind to show them some footage?’

‘Certainly’.

Steve was sure that if Friday would have had a face, she would have been blushing.

The footage was… impressive. A guy wearing a dark red devil suit, complete with horns and a mask that covered his eyes. He was fighting hard, and fighting well, no inclination of being blind.

‘How?’, it was Natasha that asked.

‘When you lose a sense, the others get heightened.’, Murdock explained. ‘I was in an accident when I was a child, there were chemicals involved. That’s the… short version of it.’

‘It takes a while to get used to’, Clint pointed out, making Murdock smirk at him.

‘Where’s the rest of Nelson and Murdock?’, Hawkeye went on.

‘Waiting for my call. Apparently’, Murdock smiled, a bit, ‘the Avengers are an intimidating bunch to just walk up to.’

‘That is correct’, Bucky said, voice barely above a whisper, but it still made Clint snort.

‘Why are you here?’, Steve asked, feeling the need to end the small talk.

‘I’m a lawyer’, Murdock said, not looking away from Bucky. ‘A defense attorney. A pretty good one, haven’t exactly lost a case yet, even if, to be fair, there haven’t been that many.’

‘You want my case?’, Bucky asked slowly.

‘Yes.’, there was no hesitation. ‘I have a …’, there was that half smile, again, ‘personal investment when it comes to defending superheroes.’

Bucky gasped. ‘I’m not a superhero’, he said strongly, stronger than he has ever said anything since he came back.

‘Not yet’, Murdock replied calmly. ‘Spend just enough time with Captain America and you’ll get there.’

Steve scoffed, but the rest of the Avengers shared a look.

‘He’s right, man’, Sam finally said. ‘Barnes, you need to stick around to prove him right.’

Bucky looked to Sam, slowly shaking his head.

‘Look, man’, Sam made his way to Bucky’s side, crouching in front of him. ‘I can’t understand fully where you are right now, but I understand some. I’m sure we all do. You don’t think you deserve to be helped, to be free. Am I right?’

Bucky just blinked.

‘That’s bullshit’, Clint said with a surprising amount of strength.

‘Yes it is’, Sam nodded. ‘But we’re not going to change your mind about that right now.’

‘We’re not?’, Wanda asked, uncertain.

‘No, cause even if he’s just half as stubborn as Steve, we’ve got no chance’. Sam was grinning, and Steve rolled his eyes.

‘We are, however, going to emotionally blackmail you.’

‘Sam!’, Natasha said somewhat angrily, upon seeing how Bucky froze.

‘Your remember Steve, right?’, Sam went on, eyes not once leaving Bucky’s. ‘Not everything, not even much, but you remember something. Something big or small, something that was important enough to break 70 years of Hydra brainwashing.’

It took a while, but Bucky nodded, his eyes skipping to Steve’s for a fraction of a second.

‘ _Because_ of that, you’re going to let us do this.’, Sam said softly. ‘And you’re going to help us in any way you can, unless, and I mean this Barnes, unless it’s going to hurt you in any way, but especially emotionally or mentally. Understood?’

‘You’re too good’, Bucky breathed out, making Sam blink in surprise. It was clear that he wasn’t about to answer.

‘Well I’m an asshole’, Murdock piped up. ‘So is my partner. We’ll level the field.’

Bucky stared at Murdock for a long while.

‘I saw you once, two… weeks ago.’

Everybody stared at Bucky.

‘You were fighting a man in a white suit’, Bucky went on. ‘You made it red.’

‘He deserved it’, Murdock said with an edge to his voice. ‘He was kidnapping newborns and sealing them on the black market.’

‘But he’s still alive’, Bucky breathed out.

Murdock nodded. ‘I handed him to the Police.’

At that, Bucky closed his eyes, a tremor running through his entire body.

‘But not me’, he finally said, and when he understood him, Steve felt like punching a wall.

Murdock didn’t say anything for a while, but he did get up. He expertly made his way to Bucky’s side, avoiding Sam without any trouble.

He extended a hand to Bucky.

‘You and me, we should stick together. Super fighters with disabilities and all.’

‘There’s already a club’, Clint piped up, pointing to his ears. ‘I’m the founder.’

Bucky took Murdock’s hand in his flesh one, but he didn’t use it for leverage to get up. Instead, he squeezed it twice before letting go.

‘Work?’, he asked, managing to look into Sam’s eyes.

‘Yeah, we have a lot of work to do.’, the Falcon said strongly.

‘Clint’, Murdock said, making his way back to his chair. ‘Can you please go pick up Foggy and Karen? We usually work at our office, but-‘

‘Here will be safer’, Natasha finished. ‘Less exposed to the media, too, and Friday can help you with anything that you need.’

Murdock nodded, turning to look exactly towards Steve.

‘If that’s alright with you, Captain.’

Steve breathed out. ‘Anything’s alright with me, as long you do this.’

‘I’ll do my very best’, Murdock smiled. ‘But it won’t be easy.’

Steve looked to Bucky, who was already watching them. He was still scared, but he also looked… apprehensive. It wasn’t hope, not really, but it was enough.

‘Buck and I never did anything easy in our lives’, Steve said. ‘Would be a shame for things to change now.’

**Δ**

When Foggy and Karen got there, they were star struck for all of 30 seconds, but then a button was switched, and they were professional. A little friendly (Foggy), a little kind (Karen), but professional.

Steve was utterly grateful.

**Δ**

It was 2AM when Bucky finally fell asleep, but Steve wasn’t anywhere close. Friday told him that the lawyers were still up, so he went to check on them.

Tony put them all on a separate floor, made sure there was a bedroom to fit Matt’s needs, and transformed the communal lounge room into all they could need in terms of an office.

The men were wearing sweatpants and Stark Industries shirts, Karen had on a pair of leggings on and what Steve knew was Clint’s hoodie, that Natasha usually wore.

They were sitting around a table, all buried in their work.

Karen was crying.

‘I’m sorry’, she said when she noticed Steve, quickly wiping away at her face.

‘What are you reading?’, Steve asked, making his voice as soft as possible.

‘Past missions of his’, she breathed out.

‘This is all … incredible levels of fucked up’, Foggy breathed out. ‘How is he still… sane?’

Steve snorted, horribly. ‘He’s not.’

‘We got a preliminary hearing tomorrow morning’, Matt changed the subject. ‘I don’t want Barnes there.’

Steve frowned. ‘Why not?’

‘Because we need to buy us more time, to build a case. We’ll say he’s distressed, wounded, suffering from PTSD and that he still suffers from multiple personalities disorder.’

‘That’s not what it is’, Steve said, slowly.

‘I know’, Matt nodded. ‘I’m not a doctor so it won’t count for much in the trial, but it’ll get us a couple of days to get through’, he pointed to the table, stacked with files and papers and laptops, ‘all of this.’

Steve nodded, and Foggy was the one who pointed it out loud to Matt. It’s going to take a while for Steve to get used to dealing with a blind man.

‘We are going to need to talk to Bucky, at some point’, Karen said, hesitation clear.

‘He knows’, Steve nodded. ‘He’s not ready for it by any means, but he’ll do it.’

‘Steve’, Matt said, very serious, ‘I think it would be best for his state of mind, if you’d try to convince him that… to want this.’

‘I know’, he sighed. ‘I’ll try my best, we all will, but…’

‘It won’t be easy’, Matt said, smiling a bit.

‘Still’, Karen said softly. ‘He came to you, that’s got to stand for something, right?’

Steve smiled at her, shrugging. He played it down, but if he was being honest, the fact that Bucky came to him was the most important thing in the world right now.

‘You guys should get some rest’, Steve finally said.

‘Maybe tomorrow’, Foggy didn’t miss a beat.

‘You’re the one who should rest, Cap’, Matt said. ‘Cause we need you there in the morning, and dark circles on a national treasure won’t look good on camera.’

‘I can’t believe you said that out loud’, Foggy stared at his partner.

Steve shook his head and went to bed.

**Δ**

Steve wasn’t the only one who was there. Sam joined him, as did Clint and Natasha. Wanda said she’d stay behind, keep an eye out on Bucky, and Karen stayed with her.

The hearing didn’t take long, Matt easily explaining Bucky’s situation. It was said with clinical detachment, even if the words he used could have easily gotten people to feel pity for Bucky.

Still, it worked, and they got three weeks to the trial’s start.

When they got back to the tower, Bucky was in the communal lounge, having a cup of coffee with Karen and Wanda. The girls were talking about a movie or a show or whatever, and Bucky was writing things in his notebook.

It was better than Steve expected.

**Δ**

A lot of things happened over the next three weeks.

For one, Bucky said he needed a therapist. He didn’t ask, he never said the words ‘please’, but it was a request nonetheless. After getting over his shock, Steve scrambled to find someone. Sam didn’t know anybody with enough experience, Natasha and Clint didn’t know anybody that was safe enough, not after Shield fell. Pepper said she could look, but she also advised Steve to call Bruce.

He did, and Bruce sighed deeply, but he also found someone, and the therapist was at the tower in less than an hour.

Steve was kind of shocked, if he were to be honest. Elizabeth Dwight was a small woman, in her early 40s, but still wearing a smart designer suit (that Steve was used to see on Pepper) and high heels.

She didn’t come with a CV, but she explained that she has been working for the CIA straight out of college, but that she quit recently, opening up a private practice.

Elizabeth was also Betty Ross’s cousin, she was very fond of Bruce and she promised Bucky that her main concern was to make him feel comfortable.

When she met Bucky, she told him he looked like shit, and it was a shame, because everybody knew he was a hot piece of ass. And then, she tied Bucky’s hair up in something she called a man-bun.

Steve liked her.

Bucky also liked her. Even if after every session they had, Bucky was exhausted and sad, so very sad it broke Steve’s heart, he told Steve that it was good. That Elizabeth helped.

Sam helped him as well. He was no therapist, but he had a harder stomach than Elizabeth. When Bucky talked about the Hydra missions he remembered, Sam was there.

He was also there after, making Bucky a snack and having a beet with him, Steve joining them more often than not.

Bucky told Steve, at one point, that Sam was a good man and they should both be grateful to have him by their side. Steve agreed wholeheartedly.

Natasha and Clint took a different approach. She spared with Bucky, and Hawkeye took him to the shooting range. Bucky liked how Natasha didn’t hold back when they were fighting, and he liked the way Clint teased, making fun of him. He said it made him forget, for a while.

Wanda was something different entirely. She and Bucky didn’t talk a lot, but they spent time together. Just sitting side by side on a couch or on the ground, Bucky writing in his notebooks as Wanda read or did her nails.

One time, a couple of days before the trial, Steve walked in and found Bucky writing, as usual, as Wanda was braiding his hair. It was such weird of a sight, Steve couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Shut up’, Bucky grumbled. ‘S’nice, she’s nice.’

Wanda grinned so widely, Steve didn’t find it in himself to comment.

Tony stopped by every now and then, but it was always short. He said hello, called Bucky some name neither of them had any idea what it meant, asked if his tech was okay, and left. Bucky didn’t seem to mind it.

The lawyers were another story. It felt like they were always working, because they didn’t see much of them. But every now and then, at odd hours of the day and night, one of them would come out of the apartment, a list of questions to ask. To Steve, to Nat or Clint, or even Bucky. They were small questions, details, and they were always polite.

They were also always wearing sweats and loose clothes, Steve hasn’t seen Karen wearing any makeup except for the first day, and the lawyers always looked exhausted.

After three days of this, the Avengers took turns with them. They made sure they had something warm to eat, made them some tea instead of coffee, and one memorable night, spiked the coffee with whiskey. Clint’s fault, but nobody seemed to mind.

**Δ**

It was one week before the trial, when Matt came down after lunch. He was barefoot, he wasn’t wearing his glasses and his hair was a mess. But he spoke softly, and kindly, and asked Bucky if he would be okay to have that talk now.

‘Can Steve come?’, was Bucky’s prompt response that made Steve breathe out in relief.

‘Would be best’, Matt nodded, ‘but only if you’re comfortable with that.’

Bucky frowned. ‘I need him there.’

Steve couldn’t find him in himself to say anything, so he just squeezed Bucky’s shoulder, still delighted by the fact that he wasn’t flinching anymore when they touched.

Karen and Foggy looked horrible, which Bucky pointed out without any remorse.

‘I am a gorgeous man on any day’, Foggy piped up, raising his chin in defiance.

‘I don’t remember the last time I combed my hair’, Karen frowned, to which Bucky rummaged in his pockets and came out with a hair tie. She took it gratefully.

They sat on a couch, Bucky pressing to Steve’s side, as the lawyers stood on chairs in front of them.

Matt was in charge of the discussion, and he did it with cold detachment. Bucky responded in kind.

He said horrible things, explained everything he remembered about his time with Hydra, from the moment he woke up bleeding in the snow without an arm, to the last time they wiped his memories, after Bucky and Steve fought on the bridge.

Steve didn’t say anything. He just sat there and listened. They’ve talked about it before, late in the night when Bucky couldn’t sleep. He whispered things, but it was never this in-depth.

It hurt Steve, a lot, and he couldn’t even imagine what it was doing to Bucky. But he pushed through it, answered every question Matt had, the only sign of emotions being the way he put his hand on Steve’s knee and squeezed it tightly every now and then.

They only paused once, when Bucky noticed that Karen was crying.

‘I’m sorry, sweetheart’, he said in that soft voice Bucky used to use to talk to his little sister.

Karen shook her head, but didn’t manage to say anything. Matt took her hand.

‘Look’, Bucky took a deep breath. ‘Whatever happens, however the trial ends, I… There are not enough words to explain how grateful I am.’

‘Don’t, man.’, Foggy said.

‘We know’, Matt said around a smile.

Bucky shook his head. ‘You’ve been running yourself dead for the past weeks, all for me. You shouldn’t have to-‘

‘Bucky’, Matt said strongly, using the name for the first time. ‘Elizabeth told me that you’ve been getting better at knowing your worth. Don’t slip up now.’

He chuckled at that, weekly. ‘Do we even have a shot? At winning?’

It was something Steve wondered every day, but he has always been too scared to ask.

Karen wordlessly got up and headed to the kitchen, coming back soon after with a tray of glasses and a bottle of whisky. Nobody said anything as she poured them all a drink, but when she handed the glass to Bucky, she forced him to look into her eyes.

‘You have Captain America by your side, you’re living in Iron Man’s house and Daredevil is your lawyer. Honey’, she said a bit condescending, ‘your chances are as big as the Hulk’s boner.’

Everybody spluttered at that, Foggy covered his eyes and groaned, Bucky and Steve blushed and looked at her in horror, while Matt stared at Karen with a look of awe on his face.

‘I love you’, he breathed out, making Karen smirk.

‘Of course you do. Now, Bucky, let’s get back. You were telling us about how you decided to come to Steve.’

It took a few seconds, and Steve would be lying if he said he didn’t want to hear that. He’s been dying to know, but again, he was never able to ask.

‘That first day’, Bucky started saying slowly, looking down at his lap, ‘Sam said that I remembered something about Steve, something important enough to break 70 years of Hydra’s programming. He was right, but… it took me a while to realize what that was.’

‘What was it?’, Matt asked softly.

‘A memory. A certain memory.’ Bucky looked up at Steve. ‘Can you tell them? About the day Mama Sarah died.’

Steve took a shaking breath and recalled that day. The funeral, Bucky and his parents sitting by his side, walking home alone, Bucky waiting for him there. Losing the key, Bucky finding the spare one, offering to hang out. _I’m with you to the end of the line_.

‘At first’, Bucky took over, ‘after the bridge, I didn’t know Steve. I… he just looked familiar, the blue of his eyes, and I felt a sense of… desperation. It didn’t make sense, the Asset never felt anything. And they wiped me, and on the hellicarrier, I still didn’t know Steve. There was the desperation again, but I didn’t remember feeling it before and it scared me. But I had a mission.’

He spoke quickly, words jumbling and Brooklyn accent seeping through. He didn’t look at anyone, stared at his lap, where his metal hand was set into a tight fist. The other one was still on Steve’s knee, digging bruises. He didn’t mind.

‘And then’, Bucky breathed out. ‘The idiot threw away his shield. It fell into the water and he… gave up. Told me that I was his friend, that he wasn’t going to fight me. And he said those words, the words I told him decades ago, and…’

He didn’t continue. Steve’s heart was in his throat, but he forced himself to look up. The lawyers were all staring at Bucky. Karen was crying again, and Foggy’s fingers were wrapped tightly around Matt’s wrist. Nobody knew this part, except for him and Bucky.

They never talked about it, about Steve giving up, and they never told anybody else. Not even Elizabeth knew.

Bucky looked up, smiling a bit, even though his eyes were shiny.

‘There’s no doubt about it, Steve brought me back.’

‘One last question’, Foggy said, surprising everyone. ‘The prosecution will most definitely paint you as a killer.’

‘I know’, Bucky nodded. ‘I’m ready for it.’

Foggy shook his head. ‘What’s your biggest regret? After _everything_ , what’s the one thing you regret the most?’

Bucky frowned. ‘I don’t see how that matters.’

‘Just answer the question’, Foggy pleaded.

‘Well’, Bucky took a deep breath. ‘It’s… it’s the funerals.’

Everyone was shocked into silence.

‘I didn’t get to be there. To Steve’s funeral. Dum-Dum and Morita and… And my family, ma and my sis. And Peggy. I didn’t remember in time to be there for Peggy’s funeral. And… Howard.’

Steve flinched at that.

‘I think’, Foggy said slowly, ‘that they’re going to make a big deal out of … the Winter Soldier killing the Stark’s.’

Bucky nodded. ‘And they should. Howard was my friend, and they made me…’, he took a deep breath. ‘It’ll make them understand, how sick Hydra was.’

‘I have one more question’, Matt said, ‘and we’ll be done, I promise.’

Bucky nodded, easily.

‘Would you be willing to give information? Anything of use you remember about Hydra? Information about the kills, the missions, that would help close cases and give closure?’

‘Do you think that’ll help?’, Bucky frowned.

Matt shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but it’s something the government will surely want.’

‘It’s the least I could do, right?’, Bucky chuckled. ‘Yeah, I’ll do it. It won’t… trigger me or anything.’

‘Good’, Matt nodded. ‘You did well today.’

‘But know that the prosecution won’t be as cool as us’, Foggy said. ‘They’re going to be ruthless assholes.’

‘We might need to be that way too, at some point’, Matt added. ‘If it helps the case.’

‘I understand’, Bucky said slowly, spearing a look at Steve. ‘This is going to be horrible, I know it, but I’m ready. I have to be.’

Steve finally found his voice. ‘And we’ll be there to help you through it.’

He said _we_ , but he actually meant _I’ll be there_. Bucky seemed to know it, because he smiled at Steve, squeezing his knee one last time before taking his hand away.

‘Hey Matt’, Bucky said, suddenly grinning. ‘You look like you could use a break. Wanna spar?’

Foggy and Karen’s jaws dropped. Steve smirked. Matt just blinked.

‘Let me grab my shoes’, was all he said.

**Δ**

There was a crowd in the gym by the time they got there.

‘What?’, Clint asked, somewhat affronted. ‘They never saw Daredevil in action, they’re curious.’

‘We did’, Foggy said, pointing to him and Karen. ‘We never saw Barnes, though.’

Bucky turned to Clint. ‘What’s your excuse, bird brain?’

Clint grinned. ‘It’s gonna be hella hot.’

Bucky and Matt rolled their eyes in complete sync, but they didn’t say anything, they just headed to the training mats.

Clint was right though, it was hot. Both Matt and Bucky were attractive men, at least in Steve’s eyes, and seeing them fight, it was… impressive.

They were both harsh in their technique, Matt’s boxing background clearly visible. To make the fight fair, Bucky wasn’t using his metal arm as often as he should be, but it didn’t matter that much, because Matt was the first one to hit the mats.

After 20 minutes of a pretty equal fight.

‘Okay’, Matt panted. ‘You got me, okay. That’s okay. I don’t mind.’

Bucky snorted, helping him up.

‘To be fair, you’re blind and I have superserum and a metal arm.’

‘So I did well, is what you’re saying.’, Matt smirked.

‘Yeah’, Bucky chuckled.

But it ended in a yelp, as Matt moved swiftly, in a move worthy of the Black Widow. He climbed on Bucky’s back, wrapping his legs around his neck, pulling at his hair. Bucky tried to pry him off, but his balance was off, having been taken by surprise.

Bucky fell to the ground, but Matt moved, ending up straddling him, his hands around Bucky’s neck.

‘We’re even now’, Matt grinned, as Bucky panted, clearly dazed.

‘Fucking hell’, he said, just as Clint started clapping.

**Δ**

Everybody was subdued on the first day of the trial. Breakfast was a big affair, all of them sprawled on various surfaces of the common lounge room, a lot of food in the kitchen. They were all in pajamas still, even Tony and Pepper were there, and they didn’t talk much.

Bucky never moved from Steve’s side.

Wanda was the one to bring them clothes, designer suits that fitted them perfectly. Apparently, Pepper hired a stylist, that will keep all the Avengers in check during the trial that was bound to have a lot of media coverage.

Steve felt ridiculous about it, Bucky asked if that was normal.

But they did look good, Steve had to admit. Bucky’s suit was dark gray, his shirt was white and the tie was light silver. Steve wondered if it was intentionally matching his arm.

Wanda helped them both with their ties, and she helped Bucky comb his hair and tie it in a sleek pony tail.

They barely had a minute to themselves to spare, but Bucky used it to hug Steve tightly, making all the air rush out of his lungs.

But Steve didn’t hesitate to hug him back.

‘It’ll be okay’, he breathed out, and Bucky nodded.

‘And if it won’t…’, Steve tried, but stopped when Bucky threw him a look.

‘What? We’ll run off into the sunset together?’

‘Yeah’, Steve said strongly. ‘Whatever it takes. I hear Asgard’s pretty nice this time of year.’

Bucky breathed out, letting go of him and putting some space between them.

‘You’re crazy, Rogers.’, he shook his head, a small smile on his lips.

Steve returned it. ‘Wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t.’

**Δ**

There was a lot of press outside of the court house, and the Avengers wordlessly formed a circle around Bucky and Pepper, who was holding his hand.

Once they got inside the court room, things were a little more subdued. There was only a camera crew and a photographer, and a couple of reporters, but they were sitting in the back of the room.

But there were a lot of guards, that had pistols and stun guns as well.

The President was sitting in the first row, on the prosecution side. It said a lot, really.

Steve and the Avengers occupied the first two rows behind the defense table, Steve sitting right behind Bucky.

The prosecution’s lawyer was a man called Hoff who looked like he has never been inside a gym in his life. The judge was a woman called Sheridan, small in frame but large in the power she showed.

‘This is going to be an unusual trial’, was the first thing she said. ‘It’s going to be very … exceptional, and arguably one of the hardest trials in our nation’s history. I ask everyone in this room, and outside of it’, she looked straight into the camera, ‘to keep that in mind. That being said, we’ll start with opening statements.’

Matt was right, the prosecution did try to paint Bucky as a murderer. A cold blooded killer, no remorse, no feelings, nothing. It was horrible to listen to, and it was a pretty long opening statement.

Matt’s wasn’t.

‘The prosecution is trying to paint Sergeant Barnes into a killer’, he started by saying. ‘In retaliation, we are going to try to prove to you that he is a human being, not a killing machine. However’, he shook his head, ‘that’s not important.’

‘This trial is supposed to assess whether or not Bucky Barnes has been in full control of his actions as he carried on the missions Hydra gave him, and whether or not he is a treat to the world as we know it. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that is what you need to keep in mind in the days to come.’

Steve felt… horrible. He was on the verge of a panic attack without actually sweeping into it, and it was only Natasha’s fingers in his that kept him from being a complete mess.

**Δ**

The first witness the prosecution called on the stand was Elizabeth.

She answered everything with the cold, professional detachment that was expected. The lawyer was ruthless, as Foggy predicted, trying to get Elizabeth to admit that Bucky was unstable now. She didn’t.

She said that Bucky still had problems, and she explained them in great detail, but she also compared each and every one of them with problems normal soldiers have when they come back from war.

It was a good tactic, Steve thought, especially considering how pissed off Hoff looked.

Elizabeth smiled at Matt when it was his turn to ask questions.

‘Doctor Downey, would you be so kind to explain to the court what brainwashing is.’

‘Brainwashing is complicated’, she started by saying. ‘On a basic level, it refers to the involuntary reduction of basic beliefs and values. In Barnes’ case, it came with the added bonus of orders.’

‘So you think Barnes was indeed subjected to brainwashing.’, Matt said.

‘There’s no doubt about it.’, Elizabeth shook her head. ‘We know that Hydra has always been the leader in the field of technology, no offence to Mister Stark.’

A bit of laughter crossed over the room.

‘From your sessions with Barnes’, Matt went on, ‘please tell the court what this brainwashing entitled.’

‘I don’t know exactly how it worked’, Elizabeth said. ‘He doesn’t either. But we do know that it was a combination of factors. Chemicals in his bloodstream, torture and sense deprivation. Starvation, a bit more torture. But the most important part was the amnesia and cryo-sleep.’

‘Please explain’, Matt said kindly.

‘They wiped his memories.’, Elizabeth said slowly. ‘It didn’t work at first, when he woke up with a metal arm in a strange laboratory, he tried to escape.’

‘Unsuccessfully’, Matt said, and Elizabeth nodded.

‘But they managed to do it, eventually. They deleted every memory of Bucky Barnes, and programmed his brain to… be the Winter Soldier. He followed orders without questioning them, because there wasn’t any free will left in him. And when the mission was done, they cleared his memories again, froze him, and woke him up and programmed him only when the next mission came. For 70 years.’

‘It all sounds very scy-fi’, Matt said, and Elizabeth snorted.

‘It does, Mr. Murdock. It really does. Even with all the technology advancements the world has been through’, she pointed at Stark and Steve both, ‘it’s ... it sounds impossible. But it’s not, it’s very much true.’

‘Is there any evidence that could be corroborated with what you just said?’, Matt asked, and Steve frowned at that.

‘Well’, Elizabeth tilted her head. ‘There is very little in the files Mrs. Romanoff put on the internet when Shield fell. It’s just two reports, if I remember correctly, a level 8 project called _Sahara_ which, ironically enough’, she pulled a face, ‘deals with a couple of experiments made towards achieving the cryo sleep. They were dubbed as a failure by Director Peggy Carter.’

There was a fuss over the room then, as Steve gasped.

‘Are you implying that Director Carter was Hydra?’, Matt asked calmly.

‘No’, Elizabeth said strongly. ‘She shut down the project because she realized how dangerous it could have been if the experiments succeeded.’

‘Very well’, Matt went on. ‘Anything else?’

‘There are a couple of more files, that the Avengers got from uh… what was his name? Strucker?’

Steve nodded, because she was looking at him.

‘Right, Von Strucker’, Elizabeth nodded, looking back to Matt. ‘He was the head of Hydra that got his hands on Loki’s magic scepter, the Avengers raided his facility in Sokovia before… well, before Ultron. In the files they gathered from him there are a couple of reports talking about the mind control technique. Nothing too concrete, though, just a general outline.’

‘I assume you have read these reports’, Matt said.

‘Yes’, Elizabeth nodded. ‘And they were the most horrible things I have ever read. And that’s saying a lot, considering I’ve worked for 10 years with CIA agents.’

‘Plus’, she breathed in. ‘Before Sergeant Barnes came out of hiding, he destroyed most of the mind-wiping chairs. Except for one.’

‘Where is that chair now?’, the judge asked before Matt got to.

Elizabeth smirked. ‘I am quoting Mr. Stark here, but it’s somewhere deep down in the depths of his old man’s secret hiding places, because nobody should ever get their hands on that nightmare, we should just burn it to ashes, but we need a plan B in case Barnes’ brain short wires.’

There was a long silence.

‘Why wasn’t the chair handed over to the Government?’, the judge asked, and Elizabeth shrugged.

‘Cause it’s not their property? Granted, it’s not the Avengers’ property either, but they’re just keeping it save from prying hands.’

‘You said something about a plan B’, Matt said, getting Elizabeth’s attention. ‘Does that mean you know how to work the chair?’

‘No’, she said quickly. ‘Nobody knows anymore and nobody ever will, hopefully. Only Tony Stark has access to it now and he doesn’t know enough to learn how to use it.’

Tony made an affronted sound, making Elizabeth glare at him.

‘I just meant that he’s an engineer, and the chair needs a pretty vast array of doctors.’

‘And plan B?’, Matt insisted.

‘If the need arises, we thought we could use the chair to reverse engineer the process and give Barnes his memories back.’

‘But you didn’t do this.’, Matt said, a question underneath.

Elizabeth shook her head. ‘He doesn’t need it. It’s my professional opinion that all of his memories will return in time, and I wouldn’t subject him to the torture chair again. It was also my idea to lock it up and I stand by it.’

‘One last question, Doctor Dwight.’, Matt smiled. ‘You have told us your professional opinion on Sergeant Barnes’ condition. What is your personal opinion?’

‘Objection!’, Huff grunted. ‘What that does that have to do with anything?’

‘I plan on asking this question to everyone that has spent time with Sergeant Barnes in the past weeks’, Matt said easily, ‘because I am trying to prove that he is well adjusted into this world. And as I said in my opening argument, it’s important.’

‘Overruled’, Judge Sheridan said after a beat. ‘Please answer the question, Doctor Dwight.’

Elizabeth smirked at Bucky, then, and Steve couldn’t see his face, but he saw his shoulders drop.

‘The man who is on trial’, she said slowly, ‘will never be the Bucky Barnes we all read about in the history books. He’s not the Winter Soldier, either. He’s kind and polite and funny. He’s a bit of a jerk’, she chuckled, ‘but that’s not his defining quality.’

‘What is?’, Matt asked.

‘The willingness to take a bullet to the heart for Steve Rogers and his friends.’

Steve felt his ears turning red, and a few heads turning his way.

‘Thank you, Doctor Dwight’, Matt said around a smile. ‘No more questions, your honor.’

As Elizabeth was returning to her place in the room, she passed by Bucky. He extended his metal arm, locked in a fist, that had all the guards scrambling for their guns.

They didn’t get to shoot, though, because all Elizabeth did was bump her fist against his with a giggle.

**Δ**

The next witness called on stand was Tony. Steve was beyond anxious.

The prosecution didn’t keep him for very long, just enough to have him talking about how he felt about his parent’s deaths and asking things about Bucky’s arm, about how it was a threat.

Tony answered everything lazily, low-key glaring at Hoff the entire time.

‘Mr. Stark’, Matt said, ‘you allowed Sergeant Barnes to live in your tower. Why?’

‘Cause he needed it?’, Tony frowned. ‘And I had the space.’

‘So it’s not because Captain Rogers is your friend.’

Tony shook his head slowly. ‘Uh. No, that’s not really how our friendship works.’

‘Right’, Matt nodded. ‘You also said that you didn’t want to get involved with Barnes because the Winter Soldier was the one who killed your parents.'

Tony nodded.

‘Please explain your reasoning’, Matt said easily.

It took a couple of seconds for Tony to gather his thoughts.

‘That man’, he pointed at Bucky, ‘is the one who killed my parents. Who took my mother away from me, and deprived my father of the chance to save the world with his tech, the man who made it look like a car accident, and who let me live. I was in the backseat, he ripped the door apart, looked at me, and turned the other way, as my dead parents bled onto the pavement.’

He had to stop for a moment, taking a few deep breaths.

‘But I know, logically speaking, that the man sitting in that uncomfortable chair isn’t the one who killed my parents.’

‘How can you be sure?’, Matt asked, kindly.

‘For one, my IQ says I’m a genius’, Tony rolled his eyes. ‘So I understand what brainwashing means. There’s a couple of more reasons, too.’

‘Like the fact that I remember every story my dad ever told me about The Star Spangled Man With a Plan and his Bucky Bear.’

Bucky and Steve both groaned at that.

‘The thing is’, Tony went on, ‘they were friends. Bucky and father dearest. They saved each other’s behinds a couple of times during the war, and the riffle Buckaroo used to take down all those Hydra joints back then, that was custom made by Howard. There is now way Barnes would have killed Howard and Maria. No way, not knowingly.’

‘Plus’, Tony raised his eyebrows, laughing incredulously, ‘it’s impossible to believe the Winter Soldier is still in his head when you see him around the tower. Shoving Steve away in order to get to the popcorn, or the way he calls Clint a bird brain, how he lets Wanda braid his hair and laughs every time Natasha puts him on the mat during training. And’, he points a finger at Matt, ‘were you there during the Great Tuesday Tickle Battle?’

‘Uh, no, I was not’, Matt said, trying to sound normal.

‘So, basically’, Tony said, ‘we all watched Legally Blonde, and after it, Barnes said something very offensive to women. I don’t remember what he said, but … I mean, he didn’t mean it, it was a joke, right? Fast forward to three minutes later, Barnes is lying on his back on the coffee table, Wanda is straddling his hips, her hands underneath his shirt tickling his sides, Natasha is keeping his head still as she blows raspberries on his cheeks and neck, and Pepper is tickling his feet.’

Bucky groaned, again, slumping further into his seat.

‘It was ridiculous’, Tony said, very seriously, ‘and it was the hardest Barnes has ever laughed.’

‘And the thing is’, he tilted his head, ‘He could have easily handled the three of them. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all very strong ladies, two of them are Avengers and the third one deals with me on a daily basis, but Barnes could have hurt them easily. But he didn’t. The Winter Soldier would have, but Bucky didn’t.’

‘So it’s safe to say that you don’t blame him for your parent’s death and you don’t think the Winter Soldier is still a problem?’, Matt said after a couple of beats.

Tony shook his head. ‘Hydra is the only one to blame. And it’s been handled.’

‘One more question, Mr. Stark’, Matt said slowly. ‘If Sergeant Barnes is proved not guilty, how do you see things proceeding after that?’

Stark pulled a face. ‘It’s complicated. I mean, I’m not gonna throw him out, clearly, and I’m sure me and the rest of the Avengers will do anything in our power to help him out. It’s gonna be tricky, cause he has _issues_ that won’t probably ever go away. But when he’s better’, he shrugged, ‘he’s still a soldier, and I think he has what it takes to be an Avenger.’

There was a collective gasp in the room. Bucky froze.

‘If he wants to, that is’, Tony went on. ‘I’m working on a replacement arm, something lighter and easier on his nervous system, Bru-Doctor Banner is helping me out with it. And a tactical suit was made three days in. But only if he wants to, of course. And if Cap’s willing to take him on the team.’

He laughed at that, even if he was the only way.

‘Objection’, Hoff said, and the judge cut him off quickly.

‘Overruled, it was a personal opinion, we know.’

‘No more questions, your honor’, Matt said, winking at Bucky before he sat down next to him. Tony didn’t even look at Bucky or Steve as he made his way back to his chair.

They ended it there for the day, and Bucky said he needed pizza, icecream and vodka for dinner. Steve complied.

**Δ**

The second day of trial started with a general Steve never heard of on the stand, dissecting the Winter Soldier’s mission, explaining how much they changed the world and how better it would have been if they didn’t happen.

He also spoke very strongly about how much of a threat the Soldier was.

Matt’s interrogation lasted three minutes, in which he asked the general about his opinion on Captain America. After that, Matt pointed out the similarities the general emphasized unwillingly between Steve and Bucky and easily got him to admit that nobody thinks of Captain America as a threat, so they shouldn’t think of Bucky either.

Hoff looked like he wanted to strangle Matt.

The next witness on stand was Maria Hill.

Matt was the first one to interrogate her, and because she never met Bucky before, she answered every question logically. Her statement reinforced the idea that from her experience with Shield, what Bucky went through wasn’t impossible to overcome. But it was only during Hoff’s cross examination that Maria pointed out that in her opinion, locking Bucky up would be the wrong decision.

Steve fell a bit in love with her then. Just a little bit. He ordered her flowers and chocolate before she even got off the stand.

The last witness of the day was a Hydra thug the CIA had in custody. He was a young man, but he has had contact with the Winter Soldier in the past.

It was clear that Hoff didn’t expect it, but the man was on Bucky’s side. He explained in great detail the torture he witnessed and the way the Winter Soldier worked while on his mission, having been by his side during one.

On one hand, it showed how heartless Hydra was, and how badly Bucky was treated. But on the other hand, the man recalled an incident during their mission, when they had to break into an apartment, to shoot another target across the street. While the rest of the men on the op punched the couple inside unconscious and locked them in the bathroom, Bucky took the 5 year old little girl they had. He talked to her slowly, promised that she’ll be all right, and that her parents will wake up soon. After that, he picked her up and took her to the neighbors, coldly telling them to take care of her and stay out of his way if they wanted to live.

‘What did you think of that?’, Matt asked.

‘I thought… I thought Barnes was still there. He broke Hydra protocol for that little girl, which was not something incorporated into his programming, I’m sure of it. What he did was very human, completely the opposite of what Hydra made him to be.’

Matt ended the questioning at that, and the judge ended the day.

**Δ**

Steve was the first one on stand the next day.

Hoff started the interrogation, and Steve wanted to bash his head in. Basically, Hoff focused on two things: on all the horrible things he and Bucky did in the war, and on how Steve wasn’t thinking straight when it came to Bucky, because he was too emotionally involved.

‘Did you and Barnes ever share romantic feelings?’, Hoff asked, and Steve stared for a while.

‘Answer the question, Mr. Rogers’, Hoff gritted out, and Steve shook himself of it.

‘No’, he said. ‘No, we didn’t.’

‘What about sexual intercourse?’

Steve turned a bright red, he knew he did, but he managed to compose himself, not looking away from Hoff.

But before he got to answer, Matt said a very affronted ‘Objection!’

‘It doesn’t make a difference on the case at hand.’

‘It does’, Hoff countered. ‘As Mr. Murdock said at the beginning of this trial, he is going to ask the personal opinion regarding Barnes of everyone who has spent time with him. I’m just making his job easier.’

The judge allowed it, and Matt sent a regretful look to Steve.

He squared his shoulder before answering, suddenly pissed off.

‘No, Bucky and I have never been sexually involved. But if you want Captain America to come out of the closet, you should ask me that directly.’

Silence fell over the court room. Everything was so eerily silent, everyone heard Clint mutter a very satisfied ‘I knew it!’.

‘So you are’, Hoff said slowly, ‘gay?’

Steve shook his head. ‘I believe the term used nowadays is bisexual. Although, honestly, I still don’t fully understand every definition of different sexualities. Back in my day, we just had legal and illegal.’

‘Right’, Hoff said after a beat. ‘And Barnes was not involved at all in your sexual awakening?’

Steve snorted. ‘There was no awakening, Mr. Hoff. I’ve known since I was 12, I just couldn’t do anything about it back then. But to answer your question, no, Bucky didn’t have anything to do with it.’

That was a bit fat lie, and Steve felt slightly bad for lying on the stand, but that was just between him and Bucky. Just between him and himself, because he’ll never tell Bucky about it. It didn't matter anyway. 

‘I’m sorry, but I really don’t understand what this has to do with anything’, Steve said.

‘No more questions’, Hoff said, turning around angrily.

Matt regarded Steve with a smile.

‘That was very brave of you, Captain.’

Steve waved him off, shrugging.

‘Did anybody know of this?’

‘Bucky did since we were 15’, Steve nodded. ‘I never told my team, but apparently, they suspected it.’

‘Well, as you said, it doesn’t seem to have any important weight in this trial’, Matt pointed out, ‘so I would like to go on. Please tell us about how these past weeks have been _for you_ , since Sergeant Barnes came back.’

‘Hard’, Steve said at first. ‘It took me a couple of days to realize that the Bucky I grew up with was gone forever. That this man wearing his face wasn’t him.’

‘Are there a lot of differences?’, Matt asked kindly.

‘Of course they are, torture and imprisonment changes a man. I mean, it’s not just that, it’s the fact that he doesn’t remember everything. And the things he does remember, I think… He sees them from a third person perspective. He has memories of … my Bucky, and he doesn’t realize they’re the same person. As I said before, they’re not. It just took us both a while to come to terms with that.’

‘You are the first person on stand to have dealt with Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier and whoever he is now. But you still helped him, even after the Soldier almost killed you. Was it because you hoped he will turn out to be the Bucky you knew?’

‘At first, yes’, Steve admitted. ‘When it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, I… I couldn’t stand back and do nothing as I saw him struggle.’

‘Captain America’, Matt smiled, ‘the righteous man.’

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘I’d do the same for anyone, really.’

‘Earlier in the trial’, Matt changed the subject, ‘Doctor Elizabeth Dwight talked about how her therapy sessions improved Sergeant Barnes. Tell us about it from your perspective.’

‘On the long run, yes, they do help’, Steve nodded. ‘But right now… It’s hard for him. He comes out of the sessions on the verge of a panic attack and mentally exhausted. He’s remembering more and more, yes, and he’s sleeping a bit better, but-‘

‘Objection!’, Hoff’s voice boomed. ‘Shouldn’t the defense be asking Barnes these question.’

‘Quite’, Matt nodded. ‘My apologies. Captain, the prosecution used its time questioning you trying to prove that you aren’t objective when it comes to Bucky Barnes. Is that true?’

Steve looked to Matt, hesitating. The lawyer gave a barely there nod, so Steve took a deep breath.

‘Yes, I’ve never been objective when it comes to Bucky, not then and not now.’

Matt didn’t say anything, just raised his eyebrows, so Steve went on.

‘When we were 13 and Bucky got detention because he got into a fight with a bully who had his hands up a girl’s skirt, I was the one who broke into that bully’s room and covered his bed in dirt.’

Some people laughed at that, Tony and Clint the hardest. Steve was afraid to look at Bucky, because he wasn’t sure he could go on after it.

‘Bucky is the reason I became what you know Captain America to be. I… the military didn’t think me good enough, and I was stuck on the USO tour putting on a show. And then the 107th was captured, and Colonel Phillips had already written the letter to Bucky's family and I … left everything behind and ran straight into one of the biggest bases Hydra had at the time to get him back.’

‘And now?’, Matt asked.

Steve raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m in a trial, on the opposed side of the US Government. What do you think?’

‘A simple yes would have sufficed’, the judge said. ‘No need to get condescending, Captain.’

‘Apologies, ma’am’. He was anything but.

‘Captain’, Matt got his attention back. ‘This is the question about the time you have spent with Sergeant Barnes since he came back.’

Steve thought about it for a couple of seconds.

‘He’s not my best friend, he’s not the guy I grew up with. He’s not the Winter Soldier either. He’s something in between, a bit of both. He’s…’

That was when he looked to Bucky, and his breath left him for a while, because Bucky was smiling at him. Hesitant, but soft.

‘But he is a friend’, Steve said. ‘He’s got the potential to become my new best friend in time. He’s a partner in crime’, he smiled, making Bucky snort.

‘What will you do if he’s proven guilty?’, Matt asked, and Steve glared at him.

‘Cry myself to sleep every night’, he deadpanned. ‘And probably break a lot of the Government’s property.’

There was a silence that followed, and Steve felt the need to apologize.

‘What’s the best moment you experienced with him in these past weeks?’ Matt finally asked.

There were a few, so it took a while for Steve to answer.

‘We were in Tony’s lab, and he was working on… a piece of tech I can’t talk about, for Hawkeye. Bucky took one look at the schematics, scowled, picked up a pencil and spent the next minutes making improvements. He’s not an engineer like Stark is, but he has a lot of experience in the field, to know what Hawkeye needs.’

Steve chuckled, remembering Tony’s face.

‘Stark looked the drawings over, got his computer to run the numbers, and told Bucky he was rude. Without missing a beat, Bucky told Stark that his stupidness is rude.’

He looked at Bucky then, who was biting his lip to keep from laughing.

‘Which is a thing Howard used to say’, Steve explained. ‘And the next minutes were chaos, a stupid game of tag that ended up with two of Tony’s tables crushed to pieces and both of them covered in coffee.’

‘That’s… very mature’, Matt said, smiling.

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘We might be Avengers and each and every one of us is capable of disarming all the security in this place in five shorts minutes, but we’re also people. Who’, he snorted, ‘fight over who gets the last bit of coffee in the morning and over who gets to get up and make more popcorn during movie nights.’

‘Objection!’, Hoff said strongly, and the judge sighed.

‘Any more questions, Mr. Murdock?’

‘Just the one’, Matt said, becoming serious. ‘After what the two of you have been through, what’s the one thing you regret the most, Cap?’

Steve’s face fell at that and his heart shattered. Because he didn’t even have to think of the answer, he knew it clearly.

He looked down and spoke strongly, but unable to meet anyone’s eyes.

‘The fact that I killed myself by flying that plane in the water, instead of living and looking for Bucky’s body.’

‘If you would have found him’, Matt said slowly, ‘we wouldn’t have Captain America right now.’

Steve shrugged. ‘That might not have been good for the world, but it would have been better for me.’

**Δ**

When Bucky took the stand, he was sweating and very pale. Steve feared of what would happen, knowing that everything rested on his testimony.

Hoff was harsher than ever. He never addressed him as a Sergeant, and all he did was ask about the Winter Soldier’s missions, about specific kills, the most ruthless of them. Of course, Bucky remembered all of them, because they were all big missions.

Still, he answered evenly. He never looked Hoff in the eyes, but answered every shitty question he threw his way.

By the end of that, even Steve had to admit that Bucky looked very bad, a heartless killer.

And then, Matt stood up.

‘Are you able to continue?’, was the first thing he asked, and Bucky looked grateful.

‘Yes.’, he answered calmly. ‘There’s no point in prolonging this.’

‘I want you to talk about what made you fight Hydra’s programming, and about why you sought out Captain Rogers.’

This was a story Steve heard before, about _I’m with you to the end of the line_. But then, Bucky said something new.

‘That’s how I was able to get out of Hydra’s hands. And about why I came to Steve…’, he took a deep breath before continuing. ‘I needed help. Back then, I barely remembered anything, but I remembered how safe I felt with him.’

‘It must have been hard to do’, Matt said, kindly.

Bucky snorted. ‘Yeah, that’s putting it mildly. But I knew I wasn’t going to be capable of living anymore without his help. And while I … wasn’t sure I wanted to live anymore, I knew he would have wanted me to.’

Steve had to close his eyes.

‘Do you still have suicidal tendencies?’, Matt asked, detached.

Bucky shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t have gone through with the trial if I did. I would have done it a long time ago.’

‘Elizabeth helped me a lot’, he said before Matt got to ask anything else. ‘And Steve, of course, but everybody else too. It… having people around was hard. Still is, sometimes. Especially people who I’ve … fought, tried to kill. Nat and Sam. But… The fact that they’re here, even after that, it helped.’

‘Sergeant Barns’, Matt said seriously, ‘throughout this trial, the idea of Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier being separate entities has come up quite a lot. What are your thoughts on that?’

Bucky shook his head. ‘There aren’t thoughts, they’re feelings. I don’t feel like either of them, but I remember feeling like each of them. I remember what Bucky felt in the 30s, by Steve’s side, and I remember what the Winter Soldier felt in Hydra’s torture chair.’

‘I’m…’, he frowned. ‘I’m not either of them, but I am both of them.’

‘How so?’, Matt asked quickly.

‘Steve keeps saying that we can’t ever go back to … Bucky and Steve in Brooklyn, because what we’ve been through changed us. And he’s right, I guess. War does change a person, so this all started in War World 2, with the Howling Commandos.’

‘I guess I’m… I’m part Bucky Barnes, because I can bicker with Steve for hours on end, because I tease Clint about his choice in clothes, I still have a deep love for mash potatoes and I hold the door open for Miss Potts any time I can.’

‘But I’m also the Winter Soldier, I can’t deny that. I still check every exit in this room every morning when I walk in, I still keep track of every movement the security makes, I still know 11 ways to kill a person with a pen.’

One of the reporters gasped at that, as all the Avengers flinched.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that’, Bucky frowned, lowering his voice. ‘Sorry.’

‘You’re under oath, Sergeant Barnes’, the judge reminded him, and Bucky nodded.

‘Do you feel guilt for what Hydra made you do?’, Matt asked next, and it seemed to throw Bucky off guard.

‘It’s weird’, he said slowly, ‘because I feel it. When I remember a mission, I remember feeling … bones cracking under hands and fingers dripping blood that’s not my own. It was my body. Muscle memory, Sam called it. But at the same time, I know it wasn’t me. I didn’t want to do that. I would have never done that, if’, he took a deep breath, ‘if I was given the choice. The war was over, people didn’t have to die anymore.’

‘When Doctor Downey first started seeing you’, Matt went on, ‘and when I met you, you didn’t think you deserved to be helped. Even if _you_ were the one to come to Captain Rogers for help, you didn’t think you deserved it. Getting better in your head and having help for this trial.’

Bucky kept on nodding.

‘What about now?’, Matt asked.

Bucky faltered for a few seconds, and he didn’t seem as confident in his answer like before.

‘It’s still hard to remember that, sometimes. Steve keeps reminding me of it. Sam too, and Wanda. I… Maybe I still don’t think I deserve to be better, but… now I want it.’

‘Why?’, Matt asked, simply.

‘Cause it would break my heart to break theirs.’

Natasha put her hand over Steve’s at that, and Sam pushed their sides closely together. It helped, but only marginally. Steve felt like crying, and he didn’t think he’d be able to control himself for much longer.

‘Do you think you will ever turn back to being the Winter Soldier?’, Matt asked strongly.

‘No’, Bucky responded without any doubt in it.

‘Do you think you would be able to kill someone?’

‘Yes’, Bucky shocked the room into silence. ‘If my Captain would order me to.’

Steve’s mind when to Stark’s words from a couple of days ago. That Bucky had what it took to be an Avenger. He didn’t dare to even dream of it, but apparently Bucky did. It made Steve shed a tear.

‘Bucky’, Matt said softly. ‘Do you deserve to spend the rest of your life in prison?’

He shook his head, wiping a hand over his eyes. ‘No, I don’t.’

‘I’ve asked everyone to tell me about their time spent with you in these weeks’, Matt said around a smile. ‘It’s only fair I ask you too.’

‘It was hard, as first, not seeing everyone as a target. But it became easier. I… I care about these people now.’

‘What’s your best memory?’

Bucky frowned, evidently thinking profoundly. And then he snorted, very ungratefully, trying to cover it up with a cough.

‘Sorry’, he shook his head. ‘Have you ever been the only sober person in a room filled with drunk people?’

Matt nodded.

‘It ain’t pretty’, Bucky went on. ‘Especially if they’re Avengers, let me tell you. I can’t get drunk anymore, neither can Steve cause of the serum. So we were completely sober, as the rest of them were making complete fools out of themselves.’

‘But the thing is’, Bucky smiled, ‘that was very important to me, because it proved they trusted me not to hurt them when they had their defenses down.’

‘One last question’, Matt said. ‘After everything you’ve been through, what’s your biggest regret?’

Bucky took a deep breath. ‘Fo-Mr. Nelson asked me that a week ago and I said it was all the funerals I missed, my friends and family. That’s not it, I figured out. Not really. What I regret more than that is the pain I’ve caused. To Steve, to ma, to… Every person I ever hurt, to their families. That’s something that will never go away.’ His voice lowered. ‘And that scares me.’

‘You’re scared?’, Matt asked, seemingly surprised.

Bucky smiled at him. ‘I’m terrified. Of never feeling human again, and of being taken away from Steve and my friends.’

Matt didn’t add anything more, but the judge did.

‘Sergeant Barnes, I have a question that I think is important, and both the prosecution and the defense have failed to ask.’

Bucky nodded.

‘Tony Stark said you could be an Avenger. Do you see yourself as one in the future?’

Bucky’s eyes grew very wide at that. ‘Ma’am’, he said slowly, ‘Tony Stark is crazy. No, I don’t see myself as an Avenger, not really. But I do see myself fighting by Steve’s side, so… yes, I guess.’

‘Very well’, the judge said with no emotion in her voice. ‘You are excused from the stand.’

That night, Bucky feel asleep half way through the car drive back to the tower.

**Δ**

It took the jury 20 hours to form a verdict.

Time which Bucky slept sleeping, mostly. Steve didn’t shut an eye, and his friends took turns sitting with him.

They had to stand up for the verdict, and Bucky was the one who jerked his hand back. Steve didn’t hesitate in taking it, and it didn’t surprise him that they were both shaking horribly.

He couldn’t breathe properly, and Natasha pushed her hand under his suit jacket, laying it flat on his lower back. She kept tapping, rhythmically, and Steve managed to match his breaths to that.

‘Before the verdict is read’, the judge said, ‘I’d like to remind you, Sergeant Barnes, that no matter the outcome, you have agreed to share any information you have on Hydra with the American Government.’

‘Yes, your honor’, Bucky said, shakily.

Steve didn’t hear the woman from the jury read the words. He just heard the word ‘not guilty’, and he heard the entire room erupt in claps.

Bucky turned around to look at him, shock clear on his face, completely incredulous.

All Steve could do was squeeze his hand.

**Δ**

When Bucky kissed him, a month later, he felt the need to explain for reasons unknown to Steve.

‘I’m not your Bucky, I’m not sure he would have had the courage to do this. But I am Bucky, and I want to be yours.’

‘You already are’, was all Steve managed to say, before bringing Bucky in for another kiss.

**Δ**

Six months after the trial, Steve was in the gym when Bucky came running through the doors. He was suited up and was carrying Steve’s shield.

‘What’s happening?’, Steve asking, already taking off his workout clothes and putting his suit on.

‘Matt has a problem.’

Steve faltered. ‘He called?’

‘Of course not’, Bucky snorted. ‘He never calls. However, Foggy’s smarter than him, and he called.’

That’s all Steve needed, really.

**Δ**

Turns out Matt was fighting an inhuman that could regenerate his tissue very quickly, almost instantly.

Almost. Between the three of them, they did manage to take it down, but it was … gross.

Steve was covered in blood and other things and he could still hear the sound of flesh and bones being cut by the laser Bucky had in his kit.

‘I could have handled that’, Matt said. ‘Probably’, he winced, hand curling around his stomach. Steve didn’t need a medical degree to know he was hurt.

‘Maybe’, Bucky countered, his eyes fixed on a window to the building at their far left.

‘We should go’, he said next, ‘cause there’s someone with a camera on us. I think he filmed the whole thing.’

Steve winced. ‘That’s not going to be good for us. Friday, let Pepper know’.

‘Yes, Cap’, came the quick response in his comm.

‘It’s gonna be great for me’, Matt grinned, friendly punching Steve’s shoulder. ‘Daredevil and Captain America fighting side by side! They’ll get off my back now that they have confirmation I’m the good guy.’

‘Jesus’, Bucky breathed out, angry. ‘You were dealing with that? You should have called, asshole, we would have done this sooner.’

‘It’s fine’, Matt waved them off. ‘Still, thank you for the assist. I promise not to punch Foggy for calling you.’

He extended a hand, and Steve easily shook it, followed by Bucky, who even gave Matt a quick hug. They went on their way soon enough, and Steve smiled when Bucky took his hand.

They’ve been together for weeks now, together _properly_ , a real couple, but his heart still skipped a beat every time Bucky initiated the contact.

He never thought they’d get to this point. And yet, here they were. Here Bucky was, by his side, an Avenger; and by his side, sharing kisses and a bed.

**Δ**

Pepper had a bigger PR problem in the morning.

****_CAPTAIN AMERICA LIED UNDER OATH:  
BUCKY BARNES  IS RESPONSIBLE  
FOR HIS SEXUAL AWAKENING_

The photographer was still taking pictures, apparently, as they walked away from Matt yesterday.

Steve’s first instinct was to stress out, but considering how everybody kept teasing them, Pepper included, he didn’t dwell on it.

Instead, he kidnapped Bucky and locked themselves in their apartment for the rest of the day.


	25. Kate/Clint: Hold Your Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 different colors Clint sees on Kate's skin, and one he sees on his

** **

**→ Red ←**

Clint feels guilty.

He’s on the floor of his living room, patching himself up, and he feels so futzing guilty.

Because Kate is in front of him, sitting on the couch. She’s stitching herself up, a decently sized gash on her upper thigh. She refused the help, said Clint needed to take care of his wounds too, so she’s doing it alone.

She’s not flinching as she sows her flesh together, and Clint feels so horribly guilty.

Katie wouldn’t have been harmed if it wasn’t for him. He just had to get himself into trouble again, and when shit hit the fan and he was in way over his head, he called her.

He would have been dead if she hadn’t came, but at least she wouldn’t have been hurt.

Kate’s lips are red, because there’s blood still pouring out of them. It’s wet and Clint hates the fact that he knows how it feels under his fingers, that he knows how her blood feels and smells. It’s trickling down her chin, a bead slowly making it’s way over the dip in her bones. She doesn’t even notice it, too focused on stitching herself up.

A thick bead of blood makes its way from her upper to lower lip, then down her chin and slowly, falling off of it. It lands on Kate’s arm and she pauses when she feels it.

She growls, low under her breath, before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, the only accomplishment being her smearing blood everywhere.

Then she gets back to working on her other wound.

‘I know what you’re feeling’, Kate says, startling him.

He can’t really look away from all the red around her mouth.

‘You’re feeling guilty’, Kate goes on, without looking up, ‘thinking that all of this is happening because of you or some other stupid thing like that.’

‘It is happening because of me’, Clint doesn’t hesitate. ‘If I wouldn’t have called you-‘

‘Sure’, she interrupts, finally looking up, their eyes locking. ‘It was my decision to come. It’s _always_ my decision to come for you. So get out of your head.’

Clint looks away. ‘Maybe you should rethink your decisions, Katie.’

She huffs. ‘I’ll get right on that. I think I’ll switch to a Vanilla Latte instead of my usual Caramel one.’

Clint wrinkles his nose because he really hates flavored coffee and he will never, for the like of him, understand how Kate’s able to drink it.

She laughs and goes back to her stitches.

 

**→ Brown ←**

It’s been a long night.

Steve asked for Clint’s help, because there have been sightings of the Winter-uh... Bucky. People have been seeing Bucky around Bed-Stuy, and so Clint has spent the night patrolling with Steve and Sam.

Kate joined them at some point. She just came up on the comms, asked Cap where he wanted her.

They didn’t find anything, no traces of Bucky.

So here they were.

The sun was just coming up, the soft light bathing Clint’s apartment in a weird array of colors he didn’t see too often.

They showered and changed into pajamas, but were both still too filled with the adrenaline of the run to sleep, so Kate was just coming out of the kitchen, two mugs of coffee in hand.

Clint doesn’t even hear Lucky coming. But he sees him, way too late, just as the dog rams himself at full power against Kate’s legs.

Lucky doesn’t bark, he doesn’t lift up on his back legs and puts his front ones at Kate, he doesn’t do anything that he usually does when he wants a walk.

No, this time, Lucky just stands there watching as the content of both of the mugs is dripping down Kate’s front.

She’s frozen in place, still clutching the mugs in her hands, staring down at Lucky, a look of complete shock on her face.

Kate’s wearing a white shirt that says _coffee is always a good idea_ , but now it’s mostly brown. The stain is getting larger with every passing second, and when Clint notices that there’s a lot of coffee on her skin too, he gets concerned.

‘Did you burn yourself?’

She shakes her head, expression not changing, eyes not looking away from Lucky, who’s still looking up at her, wiggling his tail.

Clint can’t help it, he starts laughing.

Might be the exhaustion, might be the adrenaline, might be the precious look on Kate’s face. Either way, he laughs long enough for her to snap out of it.

Kate throws the now empty mugs at his head, but Clint catches them easily. She huffs, annoyed, and he keeps on laughing as she takes off the soiled tank top and lets it fall to the ground.

Clint keeps on laughing as she makes her way to him, sitting down on the couch next to him, completely unbothered by the fact that she's just in a pair of shorts and a black training bra.

‘When you’re done being an ass, you’re gonna take Lucky out.’

He manages to stop and catch his breath.

‘What about my coffee?’

Kate rolls her eyes, slouching more onto the couch cushions. ‘You can get us some when you’re out.’

‘Okay’, Clint says. He then bends down and licks a long stripe on her collarbone, humming when the taste of coffee hits his tongue.

It’s only after he gets to the park with Lucky that he realizes that might have been weird. Thankfully, Katie’s asleep when he comes back, so she doesn’t yell at him.

  

**→ Black ←**

‘That’s the last one!’, Kate yells to him, stopping Clint from going in again. He listens to her, helping her carry the old woman to the waiting paramedic.

It’s a mess.

The building is still in flames, all five stories of it. There are 10? 12? ambulances taking care of the wounded, firetrucks are still coming in.

But they managed to get everyone out.

The Hawkeyes were the first on the scene so they caught most of the heat, as they waited for the fire department. Clint isn't hurt, though, not really. He’s filthy, exhausted, and eyeing the oxygen tanks with interest, but he’ll be fine soon enough.

Kate doesn’t seem harmed either. Her suit, just like his, got a lot of heat, and it’s missing parts. Where Clint should see skin, he doesn’t. He just sees black.

Scorched, smoked black.

‘Are you okay?’, she asks him and he nods, slowly.

‘You hurt?’, he counters, and she shakes her head, taking the few steps needed to be by his side.

Kate smiles and he returns it instantly.

‘We did good today’, her breath catches half way through.

She’s shaking, Clint notices, and he frowns. But before he gets to ask, Kate wraps her hands around his shoulders and brings their bodies together.

Clint hugs her back instantly, hating the way he can’t smell her perfume, her shampoo, the plastic-leather combination he associated with her suit. He can’t smell her, just smoke and fire.

‘We did good’, she says again, whispers the words against his neck.

‘Yeah, Katie’, he holds her tighter. ‘We did good.’

There’s still black in his bathtub a week later, and every time he sees it, he remembers the black on Kate’s skin.

**→ Pink ←**

Tony was throwing a party for… Clint didn’t really pay attention. But the way Stark told him five times that he could bring a plus one, well, Clint decided to go. And take Katie with him.

So here they are, at Tony’s very obnoxiously loud party. Clint is hanging back, like he usually is, with Steve and Bruce by his side. They’re hogging up a couch and a coffee table filled with booze. Steve can’t get drunk and Bruce doesn’t drink, so it’s all Clint’s booze.

His eyes keep moving to Kate.

He shouldn’t feel anxious, this is the world she was born it.

And it’s where she thrives. All the men around her sneak glances, because she does look gorgeous. In her light purple gown, with an obscene slit over a leg, with a generous cleavage and her hair up.

Kate doesn’t even notice. She talks to everyone that comes her way, with an easy smile and no hesitation.

‘How did you even get your hands on someone like her?’, he hears Stark ask and when Clint tears his eyes away from Kate, Tony’s sitting on the coffee table in front of him with an expectant look on his face.

‘I didn’t’, Clint admits. ‘She’s the one who came to me.’

‘Isn’t she a bit young, though?’, Stark insists, and Clint rolls his eyes.

‘It’s not like that.’

‘It really isn’t’, Steve backs him up. ‘They bicker like siblings.’

Clint shrugs, going for another beer. His eyes move to Kate, and he smiles when he sees her coming to them.

She’s carrying a tray of some food, and she doesn’t hesitate in pushing Tony to the side, a bit, so that she can sit down on the coffee table, right in front of Clint.

Kate hands him the tray, which Clint notices is filled with cupcakes, and fiddles with her dress a little, making sure she’s not flashing anyone even if she’s not sitting like a proper lady.

Then she takes the tray back, and announces proudly ‘I got you guys cupcakes!’

Steve's the first one to grab at it, but they all follow suit.

‘Lovely party, Mr. Stark’, Kate says as she carefully unwraps a pink frosted cupcake.

‘Why thank you, little bird.’

That makes her narrow her eyes at Tony, who doesn’t seem perturbed.

‘You can do better than that’, Kate finally says. ‘Maybe something actually funny that doesn’t sound kinky?’

Tony snorts on a laugh, and Clint sees that both Steve and Bruce are fighting against it.

‘SheHawk?’, Tony tries, and as she shakes her head, Kate starts licking at the cupcake frosting.

‘Lady Hawk?’

Kate snorts. ‘I just know how to act like a lady when it’s needed. I’m pretty much one of the boys.’

Tony pauses for a bit, as Kate keeps munching on her cupcake.

‘I’m just gonna go with Hawkeye2 when I need to’, Tony finally sighs. ‘Kate when I don’t.’

‘That sounds great’, Clint says, over exaggerating it.

Kate grinses at him, and he chuckles.

‘A lady, you are most definitely not.’, he says, as he wipes a streak of pink frosting from her upper lip.

She doesn't react to the touch, but when Clint sticks his thumb in his mouth, tasting the sweetness of the frosting, Kate scrunches up her nose.

‘Gross, Clint.’

He snorts. ‘I’ve had your blood in my nose.’

‘How?’, Bruce asks after a very lengthy pause.

Clint enjoyes himself, listening to Kate tell the story.

 

**→ White ←**

Every time Clint ended up in an actual hospital, things were bad.

Every time Clint ended up in the Avengers facility on the med wing, things were very bad.

Now, he was in the waiting room in the Avengers facility. It was worse than ever.

He didn’t even know what was happening. One moment he was watching Dog Cops with Kate, the next minute she was clutching at her stomach, crying and yelling in pain.

Clint called Stark, who sent a quinjet, and he spent the short flight to the facility with Katie in his arms, crying and in such pain, she couldn’t catch her breath.

He didn’t even know what was wrong.

Natasha comes out of the room the doctors went in, and Clint didn’t even see her go in.

She sits down next to him and takes a deep breath before talking.

‘She didn’t tell you, did she? About her illness?’

All of his breath leaves Clint. He doesn’t need to answer, Nat knows.

‘It’s a long term disease messing with her ovaries and uterus. I won’t go into detail, you can’t handle that right now, but when she gets her period, she’s in a lot of pain.’

‘That’s what happened now?’, Clint manages to find his voice.

Nat shakes her head. ‘These are complications. She’s going into surgery now, and she’ll be in a lot of pain after it, but it’ll be okay, in the end. She won’t be able to have children, but …’

‘Fuck’, Clint breathes out.

‘She’ll be okay’, Nat insists, taking his hand.

‘Why didn’t she tell me?’

‘It was her burden.’

He laughs at that, brokenly. He started crying at some point.

‘Why did she tell you?’

‘Cause I figured it out’, Nat smirks, and nothing else is said for a long, long time.

When they let Clint see her, it’s the next day, and Kate’s awake. She has a small mirror in her hand and she’s using it to look at her stomach.

Under the weird, purple, flower-y hospital gown, she has a pair of men’s boxers, loose and hanging low, low enough not to disrupt the bandage.

It’s a large one, low under her stomach, and it’s making a strong contrast, against her skin and the dark blue underwear.

White on tan, next to blue. It makes Clint sick to his stomach.

‘It’s okay’, Kate smiles, putting the mirror down on the nightstand.

Clint wordlessly helps her cover herself again, carefully arranging the blanket around her body. Then, he just looks at her.

‘I’m okay’, her smile grows wider. ‘I’ll be okay, Clint.’

‘You scared me to death’, he breathes out, voice barely above a whisper.

The smile falls from her face. ‘I’m sorry’, she whispers.

‘Why… Why didn’t you think you could tell me?’

It takes a while for her to answer, but she doesn’t look away from him as she thinks.

‘I knew I could tell you, I promise you that, Clint. I just… didn’t want to.’

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. ‘That’s not a good answer, Katie-Kate.’

She chuckles, so he opens his eyes.

‘I’ll give you a better one, just… not right now.’ She bites on her lower lip. ‘You look like shit, you should sleep.’

Clint nods, grabbing a chair and pulling it next to her bed. If she’s surprised by his actions, she doesn’t show it.

When Clint lays his hands on his crossed hands, close to her hip but not quite touching, Kate starts running her fingers through his hair.

That’s how he falls asleep. Surrounded by white and the hospital smell he hates, with Kate’s fingers in his hair and counting her breaths.

 

**→ Purple ←**

He doesn’t plan it, and he doesn’t think she plans it either. It just happens.

They’re at another one of Tony’s parties, and this time, she’s wearing a black dress, that has a corset and a line of silver sparkly stuff going over her left breast and down the length of the gown. Her hair is down, her nails are purple, as are her lips and Clint doesn’t think he has ever seen her look better than this.

And they’re just sitting down on a couch, the two of them, a bottle of scotch making its way between them. Clint doesn’t even know what they’re talking about, at first they started gossiping about Nat and Banner dancing, and that went to talking about Steve and Bucky, that somehow ended up talking about Tony.

There was talk of Cop Dogs, and of Game of Thrones, and knives and guns and truth serums.

And he doesn’t know what they’re talking about right now, but he knows that Kate’s giggles are the greatest thing he has ever heard.

He leans into her shoulder, and she leans into his, and Clint has no idea who moves first, but they’re kissing.

And it’s sweet, and it’s fun, and it’s breathtaking and Clint feels like this was something that he was missing.

And he’s feeling giddy, and he can’t catch his breath but he doesn’t want to pull away, and Kate’s fingers are in his hair, her nails are scratching at his skin and she really should know better, she really should start making better decisions, but Clint cannot push her away.

They weren’t planning it.

So they fight about where to go, but his apartment is the closest, in the end. And there’s a long car drive, in which Happy keeps shooting them these _looks_ and it takes every ounce of will power for Clint to keep his hands to himself.

But as they get to his apartment, he can’t. For the next hour or two, he can’t keep his hands off of Kate, but that’s okay, because she’s moaning his name and she’s urging him on and it’s not the best thing that has ever happened to Clint, but he knows it has the potential of being.

In the morning, his body is covered in purple marks. Not bruises, but the imprint of Kate’s lips, that god damn purple lipstick that he has to buy at least 10 tubs of for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh about that "white" one  
> i've had an idea in my head for a while, but it's just... it's so heartbreaking, idk if I should write it. that thing in the "white" chapter, that was just a ... small part of it. sorry? i know shit about medicine, in case you missed that.


	26. Darcy/Clint: Meet the Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a young hipster chick around the Tower, making a documentary about the Avengers. Clint doesn't think too much of it, but he doesn't like that it keeps Darcy very busy. Featuring the making of the movie, the red carpet premiere, the after party and the aftermath.

When Friday announced that there was an Avengers meeting called, Clint barely bothered with putting on a shirt.

He expected the worst, of course. He didn’t expect all the people in the conference room. All the Avengers, yes, but Jane and Darcy too, Pepper and Hill. And a woman he didn’t recognize.

She was about Darcy’s age and looked like a certified hipster. Messy light blue hair, thick framed glasses, a beanie on her head, a shirt with some bad pun on it, shorts and high fake leather boots.

‘Everyone, this is Debbie Lowe’, Pepper said sweetly. ‘Should you agree to it, she will be undergoing a… project. For the Avengers.’

‘We’re getting a movie, bitches!’, Tony all but yelled, clapping his hands.

Of course, his statement was followed by silence.

‘Not a movie, Mr. Stark’, Lowe said with an eye roll, ‘a documentary.’

Again, nobody said anything, so Clint took it upon himself.

‘What kind of documentary?’

Lowe smiled at him. ‘A good one, if I’m involved.’

‘We’ll get along just fine’, Tony grinned at her.

‘The point of this’, Pepper said professionally, ‘will be to get the world to know you.’

‘We often forget you’re people’, Lowe went on. ‘You’re superheroes, full on celebrities, but we forget you’re human.’

‘That's debatable’, Bruce piped up.

‘I mean that you’re normal’, Lowe went on.

‘Miss, we’re anything but’, Cap smirked.

Lowe huffed, frustration clear. ‘But you do normal people stuff! You yawn and drink coffee and you watch movies and cook and shit!’

‘Yes they do’, Pepper said. ‘And we think it would be good for the world to know it. To see you in a different light, outside of the battlefield and press conferences.’

‘This is a publicity stunt’, Clint said, finally understanding.

‘Very much so, yes.’, Pepper nodded. ‘It’s a publicity stunt that you need, but the decision is yours.’

‘What would we have to do?’, it was Bruce that asked.

‘Not much’, Lowe piped up.

‘She’d have access to the security footage’, Pepper explained. ‘Nothing too personal, of course, Friday will select everything upon parameters personally implemented by Tony and I. Beyond that, we thought of some casual interviews. Just each of you, Debbie and a camera.’

‘And then there’s the part with the movie premiers.’, Tony grinned, somewhat evily.

‘Yes’, Pepper sighed, ‘that will be something you most likely will be expected to do, but it’ll be a long while till we get there.’

There was silence over the Avengers, but Darcy raised a hand like she was in school, an action that got most of them chuckling.

‘I’d just like to point out that all the representation the Avengers have right now is shit.’

‘We get more news coverage than the president’, Tony said, mildly affronted.

‘I don’t mean that’, Darcy shook her head. ‘There’s fanvideos, yeah? Short films. And comics, drawings, novel length fanfiction. And you’re all shitty represented in them, because nobody actually knows how you are, as people, when you… you know, take off your suits.’

‘She’s right’, Pepper said, smiling at Darcy. ‘But don’t expect this film to … it won’t be personal.’

‘Sure sounds personal’, Wanda said.

‘Not as much as you’re thinking right now’, Lowe insisted. ‘We just… need to get a glimpse of you. Enough to prove that you are, in fact, human beings. And… well… fun, as I’ve heard.’

She looked towards Tony when she said it, and Stark was grinning wildly.

‘Why am I here?’, Jane asked, surprising everyone.

‘I was wondering the same thing’, Hill piped up.

‘You’re involved with the Avengers’, Pepper smiled at the two woman, involving Darcy into it. ‘You’re going to be in this.’

‘But again’, she quickly sidetracked. ‘It’s up to you if the film is happening or not.’

‘One more question’, Clint stared Lowe down. ‘How come you’ve been chosen to do this?’

‘I wasn’t chosen’, Lowe grinned. ‘It was my idea.’

‘And it came with a 30 pages long essay.’, Pepper said, somewhat reluctantly.

‘So we vote.’, Cap said with authority. ‘All in favor?’

Clint was the only one who hesitated to raise his hand, but he did it, in the end, after sparing a look to Bruce. He seemed reluctant, sure, but there was curiosity behind his eyes. Clint couldn’t deprive him of that.

‘Great’, Pepper grinned. ‘Darcy, you’re going to be assisting Debbie, and I expect all of you’, she glared at the Avengers, ‘to not make this hard for her.’

They slowly began making their way outside of the conference room, but Clint still heard Sam’s pretty excited ‘Man, I’ve always wanted to be a movie star!’

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

Things don’t change a lot over the next few months, but they change a bit.

For once, they get to see more of Debbie. Mostly in the common kitchen, more often than not with a cup of coffee in her hands and dark circles around her eyes.

She’s nice, Clint thinks. She’s a young one, but she’s polite and doesn’t shy away from them. There’s not that sense of _oh my god, it’s the Avengers!!!_ that they’re used to getting when meeting strangers. It’s refreshing, Clint thinks. None of them could handle a fangirl running around their place.

But the thing that Clint appreciates the most about Debbie is that she doesn’t shy away. It happens often, the Avengers coming back from training or from a battle, bleeding and bruised, in pain and exhausted.

She doesn’t flinch when that happens. She doesn’t ask what happened either. Instead, she helps Darcy make them coffee and tea, scolds them to go to the infirmary.

Debbie’s still a stranger, but she’s not a rock in their road.

The other thing that changes is Darcy, in the sense that they get to see a lot less of her. Clint doesn’t know what she’s doing, exactly. Jane and Bruce say that she still comes by their labs, bringing them food and wrestling them to sleep, and somehow, Darcy’s always there when they need help with their reports.

But she’s not in the common room as often as before. She’s not there late at night when they’re watching a movie, she’s not there to yell encouragements in the gym when they’re sparring.

Darcy doesn’t knock on Clint’s door anymore when she has a bad night, she doesn’t ask for Lucky cuddles or, how it sometimes happened, Clint cuddles.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss it. Miss her.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

It’s about six months later, when the Avengers get the e-mail about the interviews. Clint’s scheduled on a Thursday morning.

Way too early in the morning, considering the team was out on a mission and they came in late, but Friday wakes him up and Clint does his best.

He puts on an old SHIELD shirt (he thinks it’ll be good, that people won’t forget that he was an agent before all of this), a well loved plaid shirt on top, he even shaves. That doesn’t take away from the bandage that’s across his nose and the bruise developing under his eye, but he couldn’t do anything about those.

Debbie meets him in the archery training room, and Clint thinks she’s laying it a bit thick. But when he actually gets there, there are two beanbags on the training mats, there’s a cup of coffee waiting for him (his favorite mug, too, the XXL white one with the purple H on it), the cameraman is Peter Parker and-

‘What are you doing here?’, he stops in his tracks.

Peter grins.

The thing is, THE THING IS… Nobody knows that he’s Spiderman. Somehow, during the whole… Fight for Bucky thing, nobody found that out, not even Stark.

But the thing is, Clint knew before that. He ran into Spiderman a couple of times when he still lived in Bed-Stuy, they saved each other’s asses a couple of times, so Clint knew, and he swore secrecy.

‘Oh, you know each other?’, Debbie frowns.

‘Yeah’, Peter grins at her. ‘We were neighbors, at some point.’

Technically a lie, but a believable one, Clint has to give it to him.

‘Still didn’t answer my question, Parker’, he points out, and the kid rolls his eyes at him.

‘I’m just here to film, man. Answered an ad, got through a lot of security checks, let me tell you. But Debbie liked my eye, so…’

Clint lets it go. He goes to the purple bean bag and makes himself comfortable, sprawling on it, wincing heavily when his ribs protest.

‘We’re just waiting on Darcy’, Debbie says.

When she sees him frown, she explains. ‘She’s here to stop us if things get too… Heavy. Or classified.’

‘She’s been helping you a lot.’, it’s not a question, really, but she sees it as such.

‘Darcy’s been a great help, yeah. I’ll be sure to put her on the credits.’

Clint frowns. ‘But she’s gonna be in the movie, isn’t she?’

‘Of yeah’, Debbie snorts. ‘I don’t think you can have the Avengers without Darcy.’

He can’t deny that, so he just nods and waits for her.

Darcy winks at him when she comes in, kisses Debbie’s cheek before she bends down to kiss Clint’s forehead, and slaps Peter’s ass, calling him _hotstuff_.

He seems to consider it normal, so Clint doesn’t address it.

They talk for an hour, just him and Debbie. She’s off camera, sitting more or less under it, with Darcy by her side.

She starts off with easy questions, what did you think of the idea to make a documentary about you guys?, what did you do before you were an Avenger?, what’s it like living with them?.

It’s easy.

‘What did you want to be growing up?’

That makes Clint pause. He looks to Darcy, for some reason, and she smiles reassuringly at him, nodding along. She knows a bit about his childhood, but not much.

Still, Clint answers.

‘I just wanted to safe’.

Debbie freezes at that.

‘The thing is, me and my older brother, we lost our parents pretty early on, car crash. Spend some time in an orphanage, sometimes we’d get adopted, but… it was never good.’ He laughs, just to ease some of the tension. ‘The most important thing a fighter has to know is how to take a punch, and me? I learned that at a very young age.’

Debbie doesn’t’ say anything, so Clint goes on.

‘We ran away and joined the circus. Which…’, he smiled, ‘I know sounds ridiculous, but I swear that’s what happened. It was better there. At least we had food on the table and a roof over our heads. Yeah, we worked hard for it, but the beatings weren’t on a daily basis anymore.’ He has to pause for a second or two, but Debbie waits, patiently and silent.

‘And it was good, on the long run’, Clint smirks. ‘The first time I picked up a bow was there. Had a knack for it, even if I was barely 10. I got training, got my own part in the show, got my name. It was good.’

‘I don’t think a lot of people know that about you.’, Debbie says softly.

Clint snorts. ‘It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? Teenager me, in spandex and stage makeup.’

They laugh.

‘How did you get to Shield?’

Clint frowns. ‘When I had to leave the circus, I didn’t… know what I could do, you know? Shows and bows were the only thing I was good at. On a whim, I joined the army. During training, turns out I’m pretty good with a gun, too. So I was a sniper. One of the best’, he rolls his eyes, ‘no matter what Barnes tells you.’

He takes a deep breath before moving on. ‘I disobeyed a direct order during a very important mission, on my second tour. Saved some lives, but… that’s not how the Military works. So I got discharged.’

‘Again, I had no idea what to do with myself, with my life, you know?’, he shakes his head. ‘Shield found me at the VA. The agent sent for me, who’ll turn out to be my handler for a long, long while, he … He told me I had it in me, to be something more than a soldier, to be an agent. Turns out he was right.’

He can’t help but smile at the memory of Coulson.

‘I was 22 when I joined Shield.’

‘What happened when it fell?’

There’s a cloud over Clint’s head, and he knows it.

‘I was in a mission, actually. Deep undercover. I couldn’t… I didn’t know what to do. So I went on with it. Saw everything on TV. I saw Cap dying, and then there was a twitter alert, of all things. When Nat put the files online… It wasn’t pretty’, Clint sighs.

‘I got made, obviously, and I had to fight my way out of the Russian mob.’

‘Do you regret it?’, Debbie asks. ‘You’ve been with Shield for, what?, how many years?’

‘A decade or two’, Clint smiles. ‘No, I don’t think I regret it. It wasn’t Shield anymore, turns out it never was. It was Hydra. I just regret not seeing it.’

‘You’re not the only Avenger who said that’, Debbie smiled. ‘Speaking of. Can we talk about how you met them?’

Clint snorts. ‘Is this movie gonna have a rating?, cause it’s not really sunshine and rainbows.’

Debbie shrugs. ‘You just talk, we’ll think about editing later.’

‘Well’, Clint takes a big sip of his coffee. ‘I met Nat first. I was sent to kill the Black Widow, I almost did, but in the end… I made a different call. To my handler’s exasperation.’

‘You brought her in.’

‘Yeah’, Clint nods. ‘It took a while, for Shield to trust her, and for her to … trust herself, but we got there.’

‘Strike Team Delta was the best in Shield’s history.’

Clint shrugs, smug as hell. It makes Debbie bite her lip to keep from laughing.

‘Okay, what about the rest of them?’

‘Well, I was there when Thor landed, the first time around. I didn’t actually get to meet him, I just had him as a target. Didn’t shoot, obviously, and again, it’s a long and complicated story which I wasn’t actually a part of, I was just there in the background. But, I’m not gonna lie, I was rooting for the guy when the rest of the agents were scrambling around to get him.’

‘What about Stark?’

Clint shakes his head. ‘Never met him before New York. That’s when I met the rest of the original team, Cap and Bruce and… ‘, he has to advert his eyes. ‘It wasn’t good.’

‘Because you were stepping out of Loki’s mind control.’

‘Yeah’, Clint sighs. ‘We fought together, though. That was our first go, and yeah, it was horrible, there was so much blood and death around us, but… The fact that they didn’t shut me out, considering what I’ve done in the days before, the fact that they didn’t blame me, they blamed Loki… I think that’s why I’m in this team.’

‘What about the rest of it? The new Avengers, as you call them?’

Clint grins. ‘Well, I was there where Vision was… uh… born. It was awesome! Disturbing, but awesome. I fought alongside Wanda in Sokovia.’

‘Which was her first fight, she told me you helped her through it.’

Clint shrugged. ‘She just needed a push.’

‘You’re modest’, Debbie pointed out.

‘I’m anything but’, he winked. ‘I’m the best marksman in the world and the funniest Avenger ever!’

‘Okay’, Debbie laughed. ‘What about Sam, Rhodey and Bucky?’

Clint gulped. ‘Sam and Rhodey, we’ve met at parties before. Tony’, he shrugs, and it explains enough.

‘I got to know Sam when we were on the run, with Cap and Bucky, and, you know, Rhodey was on the other side.’

‘But you were able to get past that.’, Debbie says, uncertain.

‘Yeah’, Clint says after a beat. ‘We had to. And, I mean, it was all sorted out. We can’t… we can’t afford to hold grudges, as a team, you know?’

‘And when you met Bucky?’

‘It was bad’, Clint nods. ‘You know, you’ve seen it on tv, everything was a futzing mess. But Bucky… he’s my favorite asshole.’

He grins, leaving it at that. It explains enough, he thinks.

‘I gotta ask’, Debbie smiles then, ‘can you please talk about Lucky?’

Clint grins, suddenly excited.

‘Lucky’s my dog. He’s a golden retriever, he’s blind in one eye, which is why we match so well’, he points to his ear, to the hearing aid sticking out of it. ‘I saved his life when I met him, and he saved mine.’

‘Cap says he’s the Avenger’s mascot.’

Clint snorts. ‘Neah, not really. But he’s as close to a service dog as we’re gonna get. Everybody loves Lucky, and he loves everybody willing to pet him, so…’

Debbie nods. ‘Can we talk about your relationships with the Avengers?’

‘Anything in particular?’, Clint raises an eyebrow, but Debbie shakes her head.

‘Just walk me through them.’

He takes a deep breath. ‘Nat’s my best friend. Has been for years now. It’s a weakness, I guess, but we’re anything but weak. She… knows me better than I do, but that’s okay, cause the reverse applies.’

‘I’ve also known Hill for a long time. We’re not friends, but … You don’t spend that many years in Shield without getting to know the people you work for. I think I’m the one of us who knows her the best, and I’m kinda proud of the fact that she never… pushed me away.’

Debbie keeps silent, so Clint keeps talking.

‘Uhm, Stark is… Stark. He doesn’t have many friends, and I’m not one of them, but we’d take a bullet for each other, that goes for everyone in the team. Stark and I also like to drink’, he says around a grin. ‘We’re good at that.’

‘Thor is the greatest sparring partner ever, and I like introducing him to things. You know, Earth things? Mac and cheese pizza and Keeping up with the Kardashians. It’s great. He's a ray of sunshine, but ... Thor is also there for you, if you ever need it.’

‘Bruce is … a very good listener. I’m not going to say he’s our therapist, cause he’s not, but he’s always there if you want someone to listen. He also keeps a hidden stash of very expensive, very delicious tea.’

‘Sam, though, he’s the closest we’ve got to a therapist. It’s his job, you know, he worked with veterans. He’s also there when you want to talk, but he also talks back. He helps, really, I’m sure he helped all of us, no matter how reluctant we were.’

Clint smirks. ‘He’s also there to play Mario Cart and go through the beer stock. Same goes for Rhodey. And they both have hilarious stories, that help us wind down after a mission.’

He takes a deep breath. ‘Wanda is… I think I have a weird relationship with her.’ He blushes, but pushes through. ‘Because of how things went down in Sokovia, I feel… oddly protective of her. As I said, I’d take a bullet for any Avenger, but for Wanda… I’d … I don’t know, I’d kick the ass of the last guy who dumped her and …’

‘That sounds like something a big brother would do’, Debbie says around a smile.

Clint tilts his head. ‘You’re right. And it’s weird, cause I grew up being the _little_ brother.’

‘What about Vision?’

‘He keeps to himself, mostly, but when he doesn’t… He says these things, that just… make your brain explode and make you reevaluate your entire existence. It’s… overwhelming, but I think… I think we need it?!’

‘Cap and Bucky’, Debbie says, and Clint has to pause.

‘Cap is our leader. Steve is… nothing you’d expect, actually. He’s one of the guys, you know, even if the last time he was one of the guys, color tv wasn’t invented. He’s a goofball, and he’s socially awkward, but he’s also really futzing smart and … I mean, he was in the war. He’s got a dirty mind.’

He chuckles at that, and Debbie throws him a look. Somehow, he knows she’s asking him to talk about his _relationship_ with Cap, not about how Steve is.

‘You spend enough time around Captain America, you just… _want_ to do good. Spend enough time around Steve, … he’s a great friend. He tries to _not_ be our team leader, and he’s great, really. He’s funny and kind, but he’s also an asshole when he wants to be.’

‘Speaking of’, Clint snorts. ‘I said before that Bucky’s my favorite asshole. And that’s because… we’re similar, in some ways. We… love a person, and we love him or her obsessively. It’s not about catching a bullet for them, it’s more like setting ourselves on fire to save them. Yeah, sure, we’ve… bonded over our post-mind-control trauma, but even without that, I think we’d get along just as well.’

‘Okay, what about the Avengers’ extended family?’

Clint smirks. ‘You mean the ladies.’

Debbie doesn’t say anything, but she nods.

‘Pepper is our Queen, basically. You just… hold the door open for her and do whatever she says, and everything is okay. We also call her when Tony needs controlling. She’s… awesome and everybody should be afraid of Pepper Potts.’

Clint tilts his head. ‘She’s also the kindest women I ever met. She loves all of us equally and we call her _Mom.’_

‘Who else? Uh Jane. Right. Doctor Foster. We don’t get to see a lot of her, she works more than she breathes, I think. But when we do see her…’, Clint shrugs. ‘Honestly, I enjoy seeing Thor smile like that. And even though I don’t understand it, I like listening to her talk to Tony and Bruce about … whatever science they’re doing. And when she bickers with Darcy, it’s the best entertainment ever.’

‘What about Darcy?’, Debbie asks, and Clint doesn’t look to Darcy when he answers. For some reason, he can’t bring himself to do it.

‘Everybody loves Darcy’, he says. ‘In different ways, for different reasons, but uh… She’s … You said, a while ago, that this movie is supposed to remind people that we’re human, right?’

Debbie nods, slowly.

‘Well’, Clint smiles, ‘Darcy reminds us that we’re human.’

Debbie tilts her head. ‘Does she have to do that often?’

It takes a couple of seconds for Clint to answer.

‘We’re a weird bunch, the Avengers. Yeah, there’s some of us who are completely human. Me and Nat, Tony, Sam, Rhodey. But then we have two soldiers born in 1918 who have superserum running through their veins. Oh and one of them has a fully metal arm connected to his nervous system. We have a guy who turns into a green tank, we have a witch, an honest to god witch!, and a … being that is alive because of an alien artifact that dates long before the Earth was born. We also have an alien, who’s a god, yeah. We’re weird.’

Clint frowns. ‘I … I said before, I think, I think I compared us to soldiers. We’re not, not all of us, but uhm, but the things we went through, the things we still go through… You know, the fighting, trying to save the world and all that… It’s easy to forget.’

He looks down then, to where his fingers are slowly circling his mug.

‘It’s easy to forget that you need to get out of bed every morning. That whatever you dreamt about wasn’t real, that you need food to survive and that you’re not alone. You’re not the only one who feels like shit. And that you’re not… you’re needed. That’s, for me, at least, that’s the thing I tend to forget the most. That someone still needs me.’

Clint manages to look up at that. ‘I don’t know how she does it, but Darcy reminds me. Us. What we need to remember.’

Debbie smiles at him, gently.

‘What’s your favorite memory, regarding the Avengers? All of them, either of them?’

He has to think about it, has to push the dark thoughts out of his mind, but he snorts on a laugh when the memory hits him.

‘They don’t even know I saw it’, Clint shakes his head. ‘Jesus, yeah, that’s it.’

‘Tell me about it?’

‘Right, so uh. I do this thing. When I’m bored, I’m usually in the air vents. Checking on people, you know, not spying, just… checking up on them.’

Debbie throws him a look, but he just grins.

‘And I was doing that one night, at like 4AM, and everybody was asleep, except for Steve and Bucky. They were in the common room, lounging on the couch, Lucky snoring between them, and they were watching something on the TV. I was going to go away, I swear I was, but then I realized they were watching The Notebook.’

‘Oh no’, Debbie says in a soft voice.

‘Oh yeah’, Clint nods. ‘Nat joined them after 10 minutes, Sam after 15. Wanda soon after, saying that their thoughts were too loud.’

He shakes his head. ‘And I just stood there. For two hours, I just stood in the goddamn air vents, looking at them watching the movie, just to see how they reacted.’

‘And how did they react?’

‘Badly’, Clint snorts. ‘Sam and Steve were crying, Nat’s lip was bleeding because she was trying not to, but Bucky… I mean, he didn’t shed a tear, but he was so futzing angry. _What is this shit?’_ , Clint said in his best Bucky impersonation. ‘ _I didn’t survive 70 years of Hydra brainwashing to have my heart broken like this! What the fuck? Steve, what the actual fuck!?_   _Pictures are supposed to be happy, god damn it!_ It was awesome, really.’

‘But uh’, he spares a look to Darcy, ‘that memory is at a tie with the Great Thanksgiving FoodFight’.

‘Oh I know all about that’, Debbie snorted.

Clint shrugs. ‘Do you also know the aftermath? When me and Darcy and Bucky and Steve just went into the locker rooms and took showers there? As Friday kept begging us not to, cause we’re gonna clog the drains?’

‘Oh’, Debbie says after a beat. ‘That I didn’t know.’

‘It was pretty great’, Clint grinned. ‘None of us can sing for shit, but we still did. Darcy left with a headache.’

‘Thanks for that, Clint. Really, it’s been great’, Debbie smiles at him. ‘I just have one more question.’

He nods, drinking what’s left of his coffee. It’s cold now.

‘Why are you an Avenger?’

The question makes him pause for a long while.

For some reason, he looks at Parker. At Spiderman, who’s smiling and ducking his head, his fingers playing with what is clearly a small piece of spiderweb.

‘The world needs the Avengers’, Clint frowns, straight into the camera. ‘The world needs a lot of heroes, not just us. But I’m an Avenger because I don’t know how to be anything else.’

He looks back to Debbie. ‘That sounds depressing, doesn’t it? But I don’t think it is. I think, no, I’m pretty sure being an Avenger is the best outcome my life could have had.’

‘But it gets… overwhelming’, Debbie tells him, slowly.

‘Yeah, it does. But… I was a carnie. I fought for a while there, for extra cash. I was a soldier, I was in the war. Things would have gotten _overwhelming_ for me either way. But this, this is… I don’t have to go through it alone. And I can do something good, for the world.’

That’s the end of the interview.

Clint thinks he did well. Debbie tells him so. Darcy squeezes his fingers and kisses his nose. Parker gives him his number and asks him out for coffee sometime.

He may drink himself to sleep that night, but Clint really does think he did well.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

The movie is called “Meet the Avengers” and they all watch a rough cut of it in the common room.

Clint… feels oddly detached about it, as they’re watching. He doesn’t see _himself_ or his team mates on the screen, he sees… people. Strangers.

He likes it, he likes it a whole lot. It’s fun, most of the times, and emotional sometimes, and it’s good. It’s a good documentary, surprisingly entertaining.

As soon as it’s over, reality hits him. That’s it’s him on the screen, that his face is the last one shown, his words are the last one spoken, _I don’t have to go through it alone. And I can do something good, for the world._

It’s good, he thinks. It’s a good thing they agreed to do this.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

It’s about a month and a half before the red carpet premiere when Clint broaches the subject.

He finds Pepper and Darcy late one night in the common room, with Steve, Bucky, Tony and Bruce watching something on tv.

‘Hey, ladies, so uh, are you gonna to hire some stylist? Or do we have to pick our own suits?’

‘We were going to do that, yes’, Pepper says slowly. ‘But if you want to pick something on your own-‘

‘No, no’, Clint shakes his head. ‘Please no. Just uh. Armani pants usually don’t look good on me. The… I don’t know what’s wrong with the cut, but…’, he shrugs.

‘Okay’, Pepper says after a beat. ‘I’ll let the stylists know.’

Darcy’s staring at him. Clint ignores her.

‘What about… hair and things? Should I get my own haircut?’

‘I was thinking of hiring people for you boys, too.’, Pepper says. ‘I just thought you wouldn’t agree to it.’

‘Fine by me’, Clint shrugs. ‘Better that then being the laugh of the internet the day after, cause Barnes’ hair had split ends or Steve’s nails were unevenly cut.’

‘Plus’, he grins. ‘I’m sure our dates will be looking gorgeous, us guys have to step up our game.’

‘Barton’, Tony says, and when Clint turns around, all the men in the room are staring at him. ‘You got anything to tell us?’

Clint snorts. ‘It’s not my first red carpet, Stark.’

Darcy moves then, snatching up a tablet and a few seconds later, there are pictures of him on various red carpets displayed on all the screens in the room.

‘Hot damn’, Darcy says.

‘How?’, Tony asks.

‘Well’, Clint says, but instead of explaining, he grabs Darcy’s tablet and switches the search parameters, adding Kate’s name to it.

‘Is that Young Hawkeye?’, Steve’s jaw is close to the floor.

‘Sure is’, Clint smiles proudly. ‘Truth be told, they were all missions.’

‘Well this one won’t be’, Pepper says after a beat, still looking at the pictures on the screens.

‘I think this is a good time to start talking about dates’, Tony says. ‘I mean, how are we pairing up?’

‘Aaaaand that’s my cue to leave’, Clint rolls his eyes.

‘Wait!’, Darcy stops him. ‘Don’t you want to have a say in it?’

‘Nope’, he smiles at her. ‘I’m good with anyone.’

He boops her nose with his index finger, and doesn’t understand the odd look she’s giving him.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

There’s an e-mail waiting for him next morning.

_Meet the Avengers: Mission file_

_Next week, you will need to meet with the stylist to pick out suits and dresses. A schedule is attached._

_Two days before the event, you will meet with different stylists, for haircuts, facials and manicures. A schedule is attached._

_On the day of the event, ladies will be getting ready in the dancing studio (floor 36), starting with 12AM. Men will be getting ready in the common room (floor 67), starting with 4PM._

_Breakfast will be held at 10AM in the cafeteria, all parties are invited._

_At 6:30PM, a short cocktail will be held at the conference room on floor 24._

_Pairings will be as following:_ _Pepper and Tony, Jane and Thor, Natasha and Bruce, Wanda and Vision, Maria and Rhodey, Debbie and Sam, Darcy and Clint, Steve and Bucky._

_For any further inquiries, please contact Darcy or Pepper._

Clint finds himself smiling.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

Clint and Tony are the only ones not flustered by the stylists, by the hours they all spend together in Tony’s penthouse, trying on suits and shirts and shoes.

It’s kind of hilarious. Clint enjoys himself.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

Breakfast the morning of the premiere is a mess. It’s loud and joyful and Clint has two cups of coffees before even thinking about eating anything.

And then Darcy’s there, bumping their shoulders, giving him a plate stacked with pancakes and bacon and kiwi, which always makes everyone crinkle their noses, but Darcy knows it’s his favorite.

She calls him Mr. Hot Date and grins at him, and Clint wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses her temple, and maybe he forgets to take that hand away during breakfast, but she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

He goes into the air vents, of course he does. There are a couple of hours, between when the girls start getting ready and he has to go do the same.

The dancing studio has tables in it now, desks filled with makeup and hair straighteners and things Clint knows absolutely nothing about. There’s a high chair for every one of the women, and they each have their own makeup artist, and Clint can see people hanging out in the background, probably hair people and stylists.

The ladies seem to be enjoying themselves. They’re talking to each other, or to the people working on them. They’re all wearing sweatpants and tank tops, and there are mimosa glasses all around.

Except in Darcy’s hand, she’s drinking a beer. With a straw.

At one point, Nat looks straight at him. Clint knows she can’t actually see him, but she still smirks at him, pulling out her phone.

_Stop creeping, Barton. It’s supposed to be a surprise._

He doesn’t answer, but he does leave.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

There’s whisky and vodka waiting for them in the common room. Clint bypasses it completely and takes out a beer.

He gets dressed, lets the stylist fix his hair and put on a bit of makeup, hiding the remains of bruises on his face.

Clint likes the suit. It’s a simple black tux that fits him perfectly, but he’s wearing a purple bow tie and there’s a bit of a purple hint to the lapels of the jacket.

He looks good. They all look good.

Vision in a dark gray suit is weird, but it’s… he’s handsome, somewhat. Bruce is wearing a dark blue jacket, with a white shirt. Bucky has a silver bow tie on, Steve’s handkerchief matching it. Tony is wearing a dark red suit, of course, Sam and Rhodey are both in black. Thor is in light gray.

Honestly, Clint can’t wait to see the ladies.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

There is utter silence as they come out of the elevator, 10 minutes late, of course.

Clint’s eyes can’t stop roaming.

Natasha is wearing white a dark blue belt over a very light, baby blue dress, Maria is wearing a short dark blue dress, Pepper is in gold, and it’ll look amazing next to Tony’s dark red suit.

Jane looks incredible in dark green, Wanda is wearing red, of course, but it’s a vaporous dress, something Clint has never seen her wear before. She also has her hair up, for once, and she looks so young. Debbie is wearing a light blue gown that matches her hair perfectly and Darcy-

She’s wearing a short white dress that makes her cleavage look like the doors to hell, that has a tiny cape at the back, but she’s also wearing purple lipstick.

That matches his bow tie perfectly.

‘Holy fuck’, his mouth says.

As if on cue, all the women start laughing. They also all extend some bills to Darcy.

‘What?’, she shrugs innocently when she sees the men all staring at her. ‘I knew your jaws were gonna drop, they bet against me.’

Clint shakes his head, and he’s the first one to approach, politely extending his arm to Darcy.

‘Miss Lewis’.

She smirks up at him, but does wrap her arm around his and lets him lead her to the car.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

‘Hey, Clint’, Darcy says lowly, half way through the limo ride. ‘Are you nervous?’

He smiles at her, but doesn’t answer.

‘I thought you said you did this before.’, Darcy tilts her head, throwing him a look.

Clint shrugs. ‘I did. But I had to focus on the missions. It was easier.’

‘Well’, Darcy says, boldly grabbing a hold of his hand, wrapping their fingers together. ‘How about this? Tonight, Hawkeye, your mission, should you choose to accept it’, Clint rolls his eyes at that, but it doesn’t stop her, ‘is to make sure I have a good time.’

‘Oh, that’s it?’, he can’t help but say.

It makes Darcy grin just a tad wider.

The new “mission” doesn’t calm Clint’s nerves, not exactly, but Darcy’s grin does. A little bit.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

The lights are overwhelming, as soon as Clint steps out of the limo and onto the red carpet.

He can’t see much, barely sees two feet in front of him, and he hates it. Clint feels exposed and in danger.

But there’s no danger. There’s just flashes, and Tony and Pepper a couple of steps in front of them, signing autographs, and Darcy’s hand in his, remembering him that he’s supposed to help her out of the limo.

Clint takes a deep breath and puts on a grin, as he accommodates Darcy.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

‘So who is your date for the night, Mr. Barton?’, the fifth reporter asks.

‘I’m here with the lovely Miss Darcy Lewis’, he smiles.

‘I’ve got to admit, I have no idea who your date is.’

He doesn’t like this reporter very much. She looks rude, which is not a thing Clint thought possible, but this lady does.

‘She’s not really my date’, Clint starts by saying. ‘I mean, we’re not dating, but Darcy is a friend. A very good friend, to me and to the rest of the team.’

‘Oh, so the Avengers know her?’

‘Yeah’, Clint nods. ‘You’ll know her too, once you see the movie.’

He grins, friendly, but the lady scoffs.

‘Everybody’s here just to see you guys, nobody cares about the rest of the extras.’

There’s a nasty resort on the tip of his tongue. But his eyes skip to the side, where Darcy is patiently waiting for him to finish the interview. She’s been doing this for the entire night, standing out of the shot as Clint talked to reporter after reporter. She smiles at him, rolling her eyes at the other woman, letting him know that she heard and she doesn’t care.

So Clint laughs. He turns to look back at the rude lady, and keeps laughing.

He also extends a hand to Darcy, who hesitates only briefly, but she does come to his side, wrapping a hand around his waist as he brings her closer.

‘With all due respect, ma’am’, Clint says, ‘you’re so wrong, it’s futzing hilarious. Just watch the movie, will ya? I’m sure you’ll fall in love with Darcy Lewis, just like we all did.’

Darcy grins at him, as Clint wordlessly drags them away from the rude interviewer.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

The next interview is Darcy’s, not Clint’s.

It starts with a guys screaming her name from the sidelines, goes on with Darcy grinning, laughing as she hugs the reporter, completely ignoring the camera that is obviously filming.

‘Clint!’, she says, beckoning him forward. ‘This is Andrew, we went to school together.’

‘Nice to meet you, man’, Clint shakes the young guy’s hand.

‘Likewise, Mr. Barton’, is all the guy says, before turning to Darcy.

‘Lewis, how the hell did you end up in here?’

‘I got out of that long shiny car and walked down this fluffy carpet’, Darcy grins.

Andrew snorts. ‘Not gonna lie, bunking up with the Avengers doesn’t sound like your sort of thing. I mean, you’ve always been loud and outspoken about your believes, and you have a history of throwing yourself head first. But, really Darcy? Saving the world?’

‘Oh no no, nuh-uh’, she shakes her head somewhat sharply. ‘I leave all the world saving to the Avengers. I just push papers around and make coffee.’

Clint glares.

‘You don’t agree with that, Mr. Barton?’, Andrew asks, seemingly amused.

‘No’, he says, emotionless. ‘She may not go out into the field with us, but she’s an important part of the team.’

‘I’m sure of it’, Andrew nods. ‘Cause I know that Lewis always sells herself short.’

Clint likes Andrew, so he smiles at him.

The interview goes on to different topics, Andrew asking Darcy about living with the Avengers, about the movie and about herself. Clint stays silent by her side, but he’s smiling for most of it, because Darcy gets excited when she speaks of them, because she looks gorgeous and because she took his hand in hers, at some point.

When they leave, advancing on the red carpet, Andrew winks at him. At him, not at Darcy. Clint snorts, but he does grin back.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

At the end of the red carpet, there’s an area designed for pictures.

Clint lets Darcy have at it first, and she’s flustered at the beginning of it, but her confidence grows quickly. The pose she settles on is… making Clint have slight problems breathing.

From his spot on the carpet, he sees every curve of her body. Her ass, her chest, the dip behind her knees. He sees the vein pulsing on her ankle because of her high heels, he sees the way her little finger keeps tapping against her clutch, he sees her loose curls moving at the back of her head because of the soft breeze that picks up.

And then his eyes skip to something behind Darcy, Clint’s eyes meeting Pepper. There’s excitement in them, something playful, and Pepper smirks at him, tilting her head to the side.

That, above everything else, is what makes Clint blush.

And then he’s supposed to take Darcy’s place, and he does. He squares his shoulder, puts his hands in his pockets and does his best to ignore the very bright flashes that are hurting his eyes. He also makes sure to look for a couple of shots to every photographer, it was something that Kate drilled into his head a long time ago.

And then Darcy’s by his side, smiling at him and taking his hand, for starters. They take a couple of pictures like that, but then Darcy lets go, wrapping a hand around Clint’s waist instead. He accommodates her easily, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and for the best part of it, he does smile at the photographers. But then he smiles down at her, and she grins up at him and then they’re being pushed away, Steve and Bucky coming up behind them for their pictures.

They wait on the sidelines for a while, absently chatting to Thor and Jane, until all of the Avengers are gathered around the photo area. For this, Clint is between Steve and Stark, and Darcy is sitting right in front of him.

He grins as hard as he can.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

There are a few changes in the movie, from the first cut they saw.

For one, there’s more of Jane and Pepper, which is a good thing. There are also more post-battle scenes. They’re good shots, but still depressing.

There’s also an extra scene of him and Darcy. They both appear a fair amount in the movie, but in this scene, they’re actually together. Clint doesn’t really remember that day, but they’re in his apartment, laying down next to each other on the floor, a Southpark episode on the tv in the background.

‘I’m really tired’, Darcy said, and Clint didn’t say anything, but he did press their shoulders further together.

‘I’m really tired of seeing you guys in so much pain.’, Darcy went on, and she was crying.

Clint sighed. ‘Barnes is going to be alright.’

Oh. Now Clint remembered. It was about a week or two since they all moved into the Avengers tower. That day, Bucky had a really awful one, he broke down in the common room at breakfast, screaming about horrors nobody else saw, crying Steve’s name like a plea.

‘How can you know that?’, Darcy asked in a very soft voice, turning onto her side so that she could look at Clint.

‘Steve’s not going to stop until his best friend is alright’, Clint said with conviction. ‘And we’ll all do anything we can to help.’

Darcy sighed at that, and moved even closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. No other words were said, but the scene played on in the movie for a couple of more seconds. Darcy kept crying, and Clint started running his fingers through her hair.

When he returned back to the present, Darcy’s hand was in his and Bucky was snickering in the seat next to him.

Another big change in the movie was the ending. Clint’s face was still front and centered, _I don’t have to go through it alone. And I can do something good, for the world,_ the words still boomed over the silence.

But the last scene of the movie was one of all of the Avengers, one night in the common room, watching a movie. Darcy was the only one who wasn’t there, but she came in soon enough, with a determined sprint in her step.

‘Avengers!’, he voice boomed. ‘It’s 3 in the fucking morning, you have a press conference tomorrow, go the fuck to sleep or I swear to god I’m going to kick your asses.’

‘That seems like an unlikely outcome for a fight’, Vision said easily and Darcy glared at him.

‘Fine.’, she seethed. ‘Fine!’

She went out for a couple of seconds, and came back carrying pillows and blankets. They all stared at her as she did a few runs, always returning with her hands full.

‘Friday’, she said at last, ‘lock the door, we’re having a sleepover.’

With that, she took a pillow and a blanket and got comfortable on the ground, next to the ceiling high window.

The Avengers started arguing, of course they did, but Darcy just yawned.

‘Friday’, she said, ‘protocol BEEPBEEPBEEP’, the movie censured the actual number.

‘Very well, Mrs. Lewis’, Friday’s chirpy response came. ‘Protocol _Darcy Lewis knows best so all you fuckers shut the fuck up_ is in play.’

Clint vaguely remembers the night, but he doesn’t remember the way he made himself comfortable next to Darcy.

The very last shot of the movie is of Darcy’s face. It’s the morning, everybody else is still asleep, various snores heard in the background, Clint has a leg thrown over her waist.

Darcy is half up, resting back on her hands, and looking around the room.

Then, she looks straight into the camera.

‘So, Debbie’, she mouths, and there’s a subtitle on the screen, ‘good enough of a final shot for you? Or do you want me to get them naked?’

The screen turns to black, and a few words appear in the middle of it.

_Darcy did try to get the Avengers naked. Barton and Barnes were the only ones she convinced._

Everybody in the theater starts laughing at that, and clapping wildly as the lights come back on.

Clint shares a look with Bucky, because he can’t really look at Darcy right now.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

Clint is thankful that for the after party, they’re back at the tower, with their usual pack of misfits.

That means he can take off his bow tie and jacket, and that means that most of the ladies leave behind their heels. It also means that he doesn’t feel at all ashamed to be drinking whisky straight out of the bottle.

He has to stop, at some point, maybe an hour and a half in, because Darcy sprawls herself across his lap. All Clint does is grab a blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it over her lower body, because her dress is short and it was riding up.

Darcy snickers. ‘You’ve been neglecting your mission, Hawkeye.’

It takes a couple of blinks to remember what she said to him in the limo.

‘So… you’re not having a good time?’, he asks slowly.

Darcy sort of trickles further onto the couch, until she’s laying on her back on the cushions, with her feet over Clint’s lap. The blanket is still doing its job.

‘I’d have a much better time if you’d dance with me.’, Darcy finally says and Clint pulls a face.

‘I’m not that much of a dancer.’

‘Bullshit’, she smirks. ‘You were in the circus, I’m positive you know how to dance.’

He still shakes his head.

Darcy moves again, righting herself until she can look him in the eye properly and run a finger over his knuckles.

‘Please?’, is all she says, but it’s whispered in a sweet tone and Clint is pretty much a goner.

So he sighs and puts his bottle down on the ground, he lifts Darcy’s legs and gets up from the couch, extending a hand to her and waiting, patiently, until she straightened up her dress.

‘Lead the way, Hawkeye’, she pipes up. ‘Show me your moves.’

He rolls his eyes, but he’s intent on showing her just that. So Clint takes them to the middle of the dance floor. He doesn’t push their bodies together as much as he’d want to, no. He leaves the perfect amount of space between them, he lifts their hands at the perfect angle and he puts his hand on her waist in the perfect spot.

And when he says ‘perfect’, he means professional. Textbook dancing, this is what it is.

There’s a slow song playing, with vague undertones of a waltz, so that’s what Clint does. He leads Darcy, he waltzes. Perfectly.

And she keeps up.

When the song ends, she’s looking at him very softly. Somewhat in awe, somewhat fondly.

The song changes, and it’s the textbook definition of a slow dance. It’s Darcy that moves first, wrapping her hands around his neck and pushing their bodies together. Clint puts his hands on her waist and lest her push her cheek to his shoulder.

They dance in silence, and when the song changes, a shitty piece of modern pop, she thanks him for he dance.

‘I’ll bet you five bucks that in the morning, everybody will think we’re dating.’

Clint narrows his eyes. ‘They won’t’, he points to the room at large.

‘Five bucks’, Darcy challenges.

He takes the bet, because there’s no way in hell people like Bucky and Nat would fall for it.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

Clint looses, spectacularly.

In the morning, Kate texts him a pretty long string of curse words, before explaining that she’s mad Clint didn’t tell her.

He checks the internet, and sure enough, it’s filled with Clarcy and Darlint.

Steve asks him at breakfast. So does Tony. Nat and Bucky wait until they’re sparing.

Clint gives Darcy the five bucks. She’s so very smug about it.

But a couple of hours later, after Clint wakes up from a nightmare and finds safety in her apartment, he also finds himself wrapped tightly in her arms.

It’s not that she hasn’t hugged him before, held him when Clint needed it, but something feels different. It feels more intense and intimate. She also seems a lot more tense as usual.

‘Can I tell you a secret?’, Darcy whispers in the darkness, and Clint nods against her neck.

‘It was easier to ignore before. I could easily ignore the … possibility, when I thought there wasn’t any. But now, now that… everybody finds it possible, and… probable… I… Clint’, her breath catches, ‘I can’t ignore it anymore.’

‘What are you talking about?’, he asks, even if he knows the answer. He knows it, deep in his chest, because he feels it too.

Darcy lets out a long breath. He barely hears her say ‘us’, she says is so softly.

Still, it’s enough for him to lift his head. It’s enough to smile at her, nod and brush his lips against her.

And that, that seems to be enough to make all the tension leak from her body, and it’s enough for her to upon her mouth under his and wrap herself completely around him.

It’s enough to make them spend the rest of the night awake, not chased by nightmares, but guided by desires neither of them had the courage to think about before.

**\\\MEET THE AVENGERS//**

Three weeks later, a paparazzi gets a picture of them while they’re in Darcy’s favorite coffee shop.

Their clasped hands are in his lap, she’s grinning widely as he’s kissing her cheek. That’s the first picture.

The second picture is of them kissing properly, Darcy’s red nails scratching at Clint’s jaw while the tips of his ears are red.

The headline on the trashy magazines is always some bad pun involving Cupid, and it pisses the hell out of Clint. Darcy loves it, so he shuts up about it and kisses her again.


	27. Kate/Clint: Aerialists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Circus AU, set in an indistinct future or past.  
> For Leigh ([tumblr](http://cellardoors-and-petrichor.tumblr.com/), [ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cellardoors_and_petrichor/pseuds/cellardoors_and_petrichor)). And when I say "for", I mean that it was her idea and she let me stole it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my knowledge of circus comes from watching the HBO series Carnivale. Which is set in the 30s. So uh. Oops. 
> 
> Trigger warning for talk of rape. Not any description, just that it happened.
> 
> I did a [picspam](http://sssssssim.tumblr.com/post/142530818696/aerialists-a-circus-au-set-in-an-indistinct-future) if you're interested :)

Clint has been in the circus for 20 years, give or take, and he really didn’t think anything could surprise him anymore.

Really, he’s seen it all. Five different bearded ladies, a guy so flexible he could eat his own ass, a woman who gave birth to twelve children and still had johns in her trailer every night, a guy who liked to yell ‘Marco Polo’ during sex, a three year old boy who could spend half an hour without blinking, a woman who only ate smoked salmon with bananas and a pair of siblings who had sex every night.

Hell, even Clint himself was on the list of impossible things. A guy who’s been in the circus since he was 7, a guy who knew his bow better than he knew his boss, who never missed a shot and who, beyond that, was pretty darn good at every other circus activity.

He honestly thought nothing could surprise him anymore.

But now, well, color him surprised.

When the boss called Clint to his office (trailer, is was a god damn trailer, the biggest one of the lot, sure, but why the fuck couldn’t they just call it a trailer?!), he thought he just had another one of his offers for Clint. The kind of offers Clint always turned down. He wasn’t his brother, he didn’t need to steal and cheat to get money, Clint got by good enough even without that.

So he was surprised when he got into the boss’s trailer and found someone else there.

She was a young thing, probably hasn't even hit her 20s yet. Beautiful, Clint thought, but she didn’t look good right now. Her jeans were tattered, the kind of wear that wasn’t fashionable, but talked of rough times. One of her bright blue eyes was almost swollen shut and her lip was split. Her left wrist was wrapped in a white bandage and she looked exhausted.

‘Barton!’, Fury’s loud voice boomed. ‘This is Bishop.’

Clint blinked himself out of it and smiled at the kid, extending a hand. She took in, shaking it strongly.

‘I’m Kate’, she said, letting go.

‘Clint, nice to meet you.’

‘Miss Bishop will be joining us.’

That shocked Clint into silence.

Fury hasn’t let anyone join his circus for the past 5 years, claiming that he hasn’t found anybody good enough, and that there were already too many mouths to feed.

‘She’ll be joining your show.’

‘What?’, Clint all but screeched. ‘I don’t need a hostess!’

Fury rolled his eyes while Kate glared at him.

‘No, you need a _partner_ ’, Fury pointed out. ‘You’ll figure it out, I’m sure. There’s no rush, either way. Get to know each other. Train her, train together, figure out a routine.’

Clint opened his mouth, but he wasn’t let to speak.

‘Meanwhile’, Fury said, ‘she’ll be taking the blue RV.’

‘The one next to mine’, Clint sighed and Fury, the bastard, he grinned.

‘Get Miss Bishop settled in. Show her around, introduce her to people. She’s yours-‘

‘I am not!’, Kate screeched, flinching strongly.

‘She’s your to take care of’, Fury finished, throwing her a pointed look.

Kate looked ashamed, so Clint grabbed the small bag that was at her feet and took her out of the trailer.

It was only then that Clint noticed that there was a bow case on her back, and a quiver. There were few arrows in it, and they looked handmade, with red on the tips.

‘So you can shoot?’, he asked, leading the way through camp.

The girl nodded, wildly looking around, eyes roaming everywhere, never once stopping on Clint.

‘I’m good at it, Mr. Fury was impressed.’

‘Clearly’, Clint snorted incredulously, making her look at him, confused.

‘It’s a long story’, he shook his head, ‘but basically, I’m the best archer in the world, there has never been anybody to even come close.’

She raised a condescending eyebrow, and yeah, he allowed it, because he was cocky.

‘So you must be good, well above average’, Clint went on. ‘And the fact that Fury took you in… you’re the first one in 5 years. The third one in 10. That’s gotta mean something.’

‘It does’, Kate sighed. ‘Maybe I’ll tell you one day.’

Clint knew what a dismissal was, so he let it go, just as they reached the light blue RV that hasn’t housed anyone in years.

‘It’s not much’, he said, opening the door. ‘And, not gonna lie, you’re gonna have to do some cleaning, but I’ll help you out.’

She threw a quick look over the small space. It wasn’t much, nothing was much in the circus. But it was a double bed with nightstands and a bookshelf over it, and it was a small kitchen with a corner couch and a table to fit two. It had a decently sized fridge and a sink and even its own bathroom, with a small but good enough shower.

‘I’ll let you settle in.’, Clint said, but Kate shook her head.

‘Show me around? I want to learn the layout. And uh. After that, maybe you could point me to the cleaning supplies?’

Clint chuckled at that.

The tour was short and efficient. That’s where the cooks cook, that’s where we eat. That’s the tailor’s place, that’s the bar.

‘The circus has a bar?’

‘Nope’, Clint grinned. ‘The circus freaks have a bar, it’s closed off for the costumers.’

‘Fair enough’, was all Kate said, and it made him think she’ll fit right in.

Then he went through every tent and what they did in it, trapeze, equilibristic, contortion, gymnastics, balancing, juggling, dancing, fighting, blablabla. Kate went through everything with a straight face.

‘Where do you train?’

‘In all of these’, Clint said. Upon seeing her frown, he felt the need to explain. ‘Archery is my main thing, but I do … everything, really.’

‘What… am I supposed to do?’, she asked in a low voice, hesitation clear.

‘We’ll figure it out. Not gonna lie, Kate, it’s gonna be hard work. We’ll have to see what you’re good at-‘

‘Archery’, came the quick response.

‘Besides archery’, Clint threw her a look, ‘and we’ll have to work on that. It’s going to be a lot of training. Think you’re ready for that?’

He didn’t mean it as a challenge, but that’s exactly how she took it, judging by how she straightened up and glared at him.

‘I’ll do my best to help you’, Clint told her truthfully, ‘but I have to tell you, it’s going to be as new for me as it is for you, cause I’ve never had a partner before.’

‘That…’, Kate breathed in. ‘That’s actually pretty comforting.’

Clint smiled at that. ‘It’ll pass soon enough. I’m kind of a jerk.’

She just shrugged.

‘You never answered my question’, Kate pointed out. ‘Where do you shoot?’

‘Oh’, Clint blinked. ‘Everywhere. I’m the only one with a bow, well, I was the only one, so there wasn’t any point for Fury to spend money on building me a range. So I… make myself one. Everywhere we go, I just put up targets in trees and stuff.’

Kate looked overwhelmed, so Clint tried to put his arm around her shoulders.

She flinched, so he didn’t touch her. He didn’t ask either. Instead, Clint smiled at her and led her to the cleaning supplies.

They spent the next couple of hours cleaning her RV. Clint didn’t mind the work, it was kind of therapeutic, repeating the same motion over and over again.

Kate was quiet throughout it, she only spoke when she asked him to do this or that. Clint didn’t mind that either.

When they were done, it was time for dinner. She didn’t look like she was ready to meet everyone, so instead he brought them food and they ate in front of Clint’s trailer, on the lawn chairs he had there, with his dog sitting beside them.

Lucky seemed to like Kate. His tail jiggled happily when she scratched behind his ears and at every cooing sound Kate made, Lucky responded with a short bark. A happy bark that was usually reserved for pizza.

So his dog liked Kate. Clint decided he was going to as well.

→⃝←

Breakfast found Clint at his usual table.

To his right was Natasha, who has been his best friend since the moment he convinced her to join and since she became the circus’ best contortionist. 

To his left stood Tony, the chief technician. At the other side of the table were Steve and Bucky, the world’s strongest man and his boyfriend, the cyborg.

Clint sipped on his coffee, barely seeing in front of him, when he heard a distict whistle.

‘Woohoo, new meat! What’s up, fortymiler?*’

It was Brock, of course it was Brock. He was good as his job, dealing with the tents and managing some of the boots, but he was an absolute prick.

And sure enough, when Clint looked up, Kate was in the middle of the eating space. She had a tray in her hands, piled with food and three different cups of coffee, and she was staring down at it with big eyes.

‘How ‘bout it, baby girl?’, Brock leered, standing up. ‘What’re you good at?’

Clint was just about to stand when Kate looked up. She looked up at him, not at Brock and without turning her head, she took a knife from her tray and threw it. The knife landed perfectly at the edge of Brock’s table, just a short inch from his crotch.

He yelped and fell down over the bench, on his ass in the dirt.

Kate started walking again, heading for his table. As she sat down next to Bucky, Clint stood up.

‘Everybody, this is Kate. Be nice’, he said with a pointed look to Brock. ‘She’ll be one of mine.’

She flinched as that, strongly, just as Clint expected it. Still, he sat back down and whispered to her.

‘That’s just carnie talk, means that you’ll be joining my show.’

Kate nodded, slowly, before taking a cup of coffee and drinking it all in one go.

‘Wow’, Bucky said, staring at her. ‘Haven’t seen anybody but Barton do that.’

She managed to smile at him and Clint took it upon himself to introduce her to everyone. Well, everyone important. His table, his friends. She’ll meet the rest of the carnies on the go.

‘So what’s the plan?’, Natasha asked Clint.

He shrugged. ‘Not sure yet. I thought we’ll take a week or two to figure out what Kate’s good at, and build on that.’

Kate frowned at that. ‘I’m good with a bow.’

‘I can’t wait to see that, actually’, Clint grinned, ‘but I told you that I do a bit of everything in my routine. If I’m going to incorporate you in it, you’ll have to be more than a pretty face and a good shot.’

Kate narrowed her eyes.

‘So we start today?’

‘After breakfast’, Clint nodded, and they both took their coffee cups and then, somewhat in sync, drank them all in one go.

It was Clint’s third. It was Kate’s second, even though she had another one on her tray.

‘Oh man’, Steve sighed. ‘There’s two of them now.’

‘We gonna need more coffee’, Tony nodded.

Kate snorted. ‘If you think I didn’t bring my own coffee too, you’re naïve.’

Clint grinned at that, but Kate ignored him, turning to Nat.

‘Are there any shops around? I need clothes. And sheets, blankets, stuff.’

‘It’s about a 10 mile drive’, Nat nodded, ‘but I could drive us. Tonight, I have a night off from the show.’

‘If it’s not any bother.’, Kate said, oddly polite.

It made Nat smile. ‘I need to do some shopping too.’

After breakfast, Clint took Kate back to their RVs to gather their bows and then they went to the back of the big top**, where he had already set up somewhat of an archery range.

Kate was good.

He knew she was, Fury wouldn’t have taken her in if she wasn’t. But by the looks of it, Kate was almost as good as Clint.

When that became apparent, they started walking. For hours, they just roamed about the premise, Clint taking random shots and Kate trying to reenact them. She was successful, mostly. Usually, her arrow would end up just a couple of inches next to Clint's. It was a very good outcome, considering that Clint increased the difficulty with each shot.

‘You make your own arrows?’, he asked as they were done.

Kate nodded, not even a hint of being proud.

‘We’ll have to work on that’, Clint said seriously. ‘They hafta be purple.’

She just blinked at him.

‘Purple’s my color’, he pointed to his quiver, that was purple, and his arrows, that had purple ends.

‘And what’s your name?’, Kate asked slowly.

Clint frowned. ‘Clint Barton, don’t you remember?’

She rolled her eyes. ‘I meant your uh… stage name?’

‘Oh. Uhm… it’s Hawkeye.’, he felt the need to rub the back of his neck, for some reason.

They just walked for a couple of minutes more, in silence, and Kate didn’t look at him, so he didn’t look at her.

Clint was surprised, when she took one of his arrows from his quiver and knocked it in her bow. She didn’t shoot it, though, not immediately. Instead, she ran her thumb over the purple feathers at the tail of it, and then she gently pushed them to her lips.

She shot the arrow after, not looking at it, but looking at Clint. He followed the arrow, and saw it fall one foot outside of his trailer.

Turning around, he saw that Kate was smiling at him, probably for the first time.

‘I like how Hawkeye sounds.’

‘Yeah?’, Clint asked. ‘We’d have to find you another name, of course. But something that works with mine.’

She narrowed her eyes, but the smile didn’t fall. ‘Sure, Hawkeye. Sure.’

→⃝←

When Clint finished with his performance, he got back to his trailer just as Nat and Kate were coming back from their shopping.

There were a lot of bags, like _a lot of fucking bags_ that went into Kate’s trailer and didn’t come back.

‘I love her’, Kate told him as soon as Nat was gone.

‘Good. The faster you realize that, the better.’

‘She warned me about you, you know.’

Clint expected nothing else.

‘She also said that you’re a great guy.’

That, he didn’t expect that. It must have shown on his face, cause Kate snickered.

‘She must be your friend for a reason, right? Of course she’d say good things about you too.’

Clint shook his head. ‘Nat’s not like that. She wants something, she must want something.’

Kate rolled his eyes and went back inside her RV. Without even saying ‘goodnight’. How rude.

→⃝←

Clint didn’t need to see Kate with her bow anymore. They were clearly a match at that.

So the next day, he asked her, point black, what else could she do.

Kate looked down at that, apparently flustered.

‘Come on, Katie’, Clint smiled. ‘I saw you with the knife.’

‘Yeah’, she nodded, ignoring the way he addressed her. Good.

‘I can throw knives pretty well, just as well as I can shoot an arrow.’

‘That’s good, we can totally use that. Anything else?’, Clint tried to seem excited, he really did.

She seemed to be in a battle with herself, but in the end, the strain she held in her shoulders deflected as Kate sighed.

‘I’ve been doing ballet since I was 5. And I can fight, okay?, she looked up at that. ‘I’m a really good fighter.’

Clint saw Bucky coming up behind her, but Kate didn’t. So when Barnes put a hand on her shoulder, Kate freaked out.

Faster than Clint could say ‘wait’, Barnes was on the ground and Kate had a knife to his neck. Clint didn’t even know _where_ she got it from.

‘Sorry’, Bucky said quickly. ‘Sorry.’

Kate eased up at that, helped him up. ‘Please don’t touch me if I can’t see you do it.’

‘Sure, doll, promise’, Bucky nodded.

‘Sorry’, Kate flinched.

‘No, no, hey, no harm done’, Bucky smiled, easily. ’It’s not the first time I made time with the ground, sure as hell won’t be the last’, he snorted. ‘But hey, that was impressive.’

Kate pulled a face.

‘No, really’, Bucky insisted. ‘I’m a vet, I’ve been fighting since I was 5. Putting me down is not an easy thing.’

‘You weren’t expecting it’, Kate pointed out.

‘Still, give yourself some credit. And hey’, Bucky grinned, ‘feel free to come train with me and Steve, yeah? We’ll take it easy on you.’

He winked before leaving, and when Kate looked at Clint again, there was hesitance in her eyes.

‘I wanna ask’, Clint admitted. ‘I wanna ask what happened to you to make you so scared of touch, but…’, he shook his head. ‘I’m not gonna. I’m gonna respect it and act around it and hope you’ll tell me one day. Okay?’

Kate took a few beats before nodding. ‘Thank you.’

They had a problem, Clint realized. Because they were supposed to put on a number together, and there was no way that was happening without them touching.

But Fury said they had time. So maybe Clint would be able to get through to her, make Kate trust him enough to be able to touch without her flinching.

What surprised Clint the most was his willingness to make it happen. He was a stubborn ass, as Nat kept telling him, so he knew he will do anything in his power to get Kate to trust him.

→⃝←

Over the next two weeks, Kate got used to the circus. To living there, to the way things worked and to the people.

She came in a good time, Clint thought, because they were going to be here for two more months.

So Kate got to know everyone. She became quick friends with Natasha and the rest of Clint’s close friends, because they always had breakfast and lunch together.

She also took a liking to Wanda and Pietro, which wasn’t surprising, because they were close in age. Clint saw Pietro try to make a move on her, but he was quickly shut down.

Kate could handle herself, and that was a good thing. The life of a carnie wasn’t an easy one, and they had a lot of… characters around. But Kate could deal with them well enough.

Brock was actually scared of her now and after they saw her put down Steve and Bucky during a sparring match, nobody tried to hit on her anymore. She seemed to be very proud of that.

Clint also noticed that Kate loosened up, as the days passed. Yes, she got more used to the world around her, but it wasn't just that. She didn’t walk like she was expecting someone to attack her anymore, and she smiled a lot more, joked around with them and had a laugh when someone teased her.

She was a good kid, Clint thought. A good kid that kept yelling at him for calling her a kid because ‘I’m just a couple of years younger than you, granddad’. She was legal, apparently. 

Kate was also… they worked well. They teased each other and bantered good naturally, but they got work done.

By this point, Clint knew that in their new routine Kate will be shooting arrows, throwing knives and dancing. She was a great dancer.

It wasn’t quite enough, but they kept working on it.

→⃝←

Bruce’s stage name was The Magician, but very little carnies knew he actually had a degree in psychology. Clint knew, so that’s why he went to him.

He asked Bruce about trauma, about how he was supposed to deal with someone with trauma, someone who was afraid of being touched.

Patiently, was basically Bruce’s answer. Which was something Clint was already doing with Kate.

Bruce also said he should always ask for consent, no matter how innocent the touch was, which, again, Clint already did that.

‘You should be there for her’, Bruce said as a conclusion. ‘Let her know you’ll be there to help.’

Yeah, Clint thought, that sounded good. But Kate wasn’t the type of person to ask for help, and even though she was the closest to Clint, it still wasn’t enough. Not really.

He tried not to let his frustration show, but Bruce threw him a look that meant he knew.

‘Patience, Clint. Be patient.’

That, he could do.

→⃝←

Kate has been with them for three weeks when she came to the show for the first time.

Clint saw her in the first row. He winked at her when he came on stage, and he saw her jaw drop.

It was probably the suit. It usually was the suit, or maybe the mask. Clint liked them, it was something comfortable to perform in, but it was… out there. Tight black leather with purple accents. Sleeveless, and he usually had to oil up his arms to make himself look hotter.

He didn’t keep an eye on Kate as he performed, but as he ended it, Clint couldn’t help but look. She was clapping, watching him intently. Not shocked, not awed, not impressed, but like she was searching for something.

And sure enough, she was waiting for him at his trailer. Lucky was at her feet, where he usually was, and Kate patiently waited for him to shower before opening up the subject.

‘I want to be an aerialist***’, she said looking straight into his eyes. ‘I want to be on the trapeze’.

Clint hesitated.

‘I can do it, I know I can!’, Kate insisted and he was surprised by how strong she sounded.

‘I know’, he said easily, ‘I know you can. We’d have to work on your leg muscles and flexibility, but I know you could do it.’

‘Then what’s the problem?’, she frowned.

‘We’re supposed to be a team’, he said slowly. ‘And what you saw today, that was just me up there, alone. If we both go up…’

He had to pause for a second.

‘There are two problems’, he said as softly as he could. ‘One, there’d be a lot of touching involved, and I know you’re not comfortable with that. And a trapeze act… you gotta trust the one’s who’s beside you. Trust them to catch you when you have nowhere else to go but down.’

Kate looked at him for a while with big, wide eyes. She was scared, obviously so, and Clint kind of hated that he couldn’t do anything to help.

When she stood up, Clint thought Kate was going to run. But she told him to wait, and when she came back, she had two glasses and a bottle of whisky.

That was surprising. What was also surprising was the fact that she didn’t sit down on his lawn chair anymore. Instead, she sat straight down on the grass, and motioned for him to do the same.

Clint did, and Kate pressed their shoulders together, for the first time ever.

She had two glasses of whisky before she started talking, and she never once looked at Clint.

‘My father is rich. I grew up in Egyptian cotton, private schools and with personal chefs and ballet tutors. I also grew up with a father who didn’t care about me, as long as I did what was expected.’

That didn’t surprise Clint, exactly. He always thought that Kate wasn’t born for the life of a carnie. She got used to it, yeah, but it wasn’t made for her.

‘I got raped when I was 13’, Kate went on and Clint couldn’t look away. ‘And that was the last time I felt helpless. I picked up a bow and knives and I learned to shoot a gun and to fight and I’ve been doing it ever since.’

She took a deep breath. ‘I was a vigilante in New York. Fought thugs every night for the people who couldn’t. It… got too much. So I ran. I ran fast and I ran a long way and I came here.’

Clint’s heart broke for this girl. But he knew that’s not what Kate wanted, what she needed right now.

So he took a deep breath and, just as Kate did, he didn’t look at her as he spoke.

‘Me and my brother joined Fury’s circus when I was 7, 20 some years ago. We joined because we were running from the abusive foster dad we were placed at. Barney, my brother, he was… older than me. Protective. He taught me everything I know and he… was everything that mattered. He left the day I turned 14. Said he was over taking care of my stupid ass, and he stole a bunch of money from Fury on his way out. Last I heard of him, he was serving a life sentence for killing a family during a heist.’

When he found enough strength to look up, he met Kate’s eyes.

‘Why did you stay?’, she asked. ‘You… you’re so good. You could be anywhere, not’, she waved around, ‘not here. Some place better.’

He smiled at that. ‘I like it here. It’s a dysfunctional family, but it’s mine. And I like what I do, I really do. That stage’, he pointed to the big top, ‘that’s my home. I’m Hawkeye and I can’t even dream about being anything else.’

She was silent for awhile, looking away from Clint and down to where Lucky fell asleep with his head on her thigh.

Clint waited her out, but he made sure their shoulders were still touching. It was little support he was offering, but it was all he could do.

‘Hey, Clint’, Kate finally said in a small voice. ‘You get it, right? The circus, it’s… it was a…’

‘Yeah’, he said when she didn’t go on. ‘It was an escape for me too.’

‘And it’s safe?’, her voice cracked.

‘I promise you’, Clint said strongly, making her look to him, ‘that you’re safe her. Us carnies take care of each other, it’s the best thing we do. And you’re under my wing, I’m not going to let anything or anyone hurt you.’

‘What if’, she faltered. ‘What if you hurt me?’

He frowned at that, because there wasn’t any way he would do that.

Except that he would, because Clint has never been good in relationships with women, any type of relationships. The only reason he managed to hold on to his friendship with Nat for so long was because they were both stubborn and held onto it with their teeth.

‘If I end up hurting you’, Clint finally said, ‘you should know that it won’t be intentional and that I’ll shoot myself for it.’

She laughed at that, a bit, even if it was clear that she was trying to hold back tears.

Clint bumped their shoulders together and smiled at her.

‘I still want to go up on the trapeze’, Kate said, a but petulantly.

‘Yeah?’, he raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you trust me enough for that?’

‘Considering you’re the only person I ever told my story, yeah. Yeah, I trust you enough.’

Clint’s smile grew wider at that.

‘Then we’ll give it a shot.’

Kate nodded, then bit on her lower lip and looked away from him.

‘Can I get a hug?’, she whispered.

Clint has never in his life moved faster than he did in that moment. Kate was tense in his arms but she loosened up, albeit slowly. Just enough to be able to push her cheek to his chest, and just enough to be able to put her hand on his knee and squeeze it tightly.

→⃝←

Clint bribed Sam and Rhodey to give them the trapeze tent the next day.

They started off easy. Clint demonstrated what he wanted Kate to do: grab onto the trapeze tightly and swing her body forward a couple of times, just to get the feeling of it.

Kate screamed. She did as Clint asked, but she was screaming through it. Screeching, really. Happily. She was enjoying herself immensely.

And after she let herself fall down onto the net, she laughed.

Even if they didn’t end up making a show out of it, Clint was glad he was able to give her this.

→⃝←

They trained a lot, mostly during the night when Sam and Rhodey weren’t in the tent.

It was a lot of hard work for Kate. She needed more muscles, to start with, and she ran herself exhausted more often than not. And it wasn’t an easy thing, learning how to move on the trapeze at such an advanced age. Most people usually learned when they were under 15. Clint learned when he was 9.

But that didn’t deter Kate. She was a stubborn little hurricane that pushed her limits with every single day that passed.

It took about a month for her to be able to transfer from a trapeze to another one. That was also the moment when she jumped into Clint’s arms for the first time.

They didn’t touch like this, not after that first whisky hug, and it threw Clint off, a bit. Just a bit, enough to hesitate for a second before hugging her back.

When she pulled away, Kate’s eyes were wide and shocked.

‘Did I just do that?’

Clint grinned, but didn’t let go of her.

‘You sure did, Katie-Kate.’

She snorted at the nickname, but her shock quickly overcame it. She looked down, at where his hands were still on her arms.

‘You’re touching me.’

‘You’re not pulling away’, Clint pointed out.

‘Yeah. I’m not.’

Clint slowly moved his hands, until they were holding onto her waist. He really hoped he managed not to make it sexual.

‘So when we’ll start training _together_ , will that be okay?’

‘You know what?’, Kate gulped, looking back up to him. ‘I think it will.’

Later, Nat will tell him that his grin was the stupidest thing she ever saw. Clint doesn’t really care.

→⃝←

Bruce joined them for breakfast one morning. That meant there wasn't enough space for Kate when she got there (always the last one, _always_ ) and Clint was prepared to go look for a chair for her or something, but he didn’t get to.

Because Kate sat in his lap and piled both their food on a single tray.

Everybody was staring at them. So Clint did the only thing he could. He stole Kate’s coffee and endured her angry yelling and insults.

→⃝←

It was four months since Kate joined them when Clint got the idea for their show.

There had to be a story, somewhat, and it was surprising that he didn’t think of it sooner. Cause Kate gave him the idea months ago, when she told him that she used to be a vigilante.

‘No’, was Kate’s quick response.

‘Okay, so I’ll be the superhero and you’ll be the villain.’

She tilted her head at that and narrowed her eyes, but Clint could see the spark in her eyes.

He started smiling even before she accepted it.

→⃝←

A week later, they had a rough, very rough outline of their routine and Fury gave them their own tent to train in.

They got drunk that night.

So drunk they fell asleep outside in front of their trailers, their heads on Lucky and Kate wrapped up in a couple of her blankets. Clint was shirtless.

Bucky and Steve woke them up because they were laughing too loud.

→⃝←

‘You’re running yourself dead’, Natasha cornered him one night before his performance.

She was right, of course. Between training for his routine, doing it every night and training with Kate, he was absolutely exhausted.

‘It’s worth it’, he said.

Nat raised an eyebrow. ‘Is she worth it?’

‘Yeah’, there was no hesitation on his part. ‘Yeah she is’.

Natasha pulled another face. ‘I thought you said you weren’t interested in serious dating anymore.’

‘It’s not like that’, Clint frowned.

Nat just looked at him.

‘It’s really not like that’, he insisted.

Nat narrowed her eyes.

Clint sighed. ‘She’ll never see it like that.’

‘So I ask you again’, Nat said somewhat softly. ‘Is she worth it?’

The answer was still affirmative, even if he didn't say it out loud, and Natasha sighed deeply before leaving him alone.

→⃝←

Over the next months, their routine kept on changing.

Yes, the premise was the same, Kate was a villain and Hawkeye was supposed to stop her, but they always kept changing things.

Adding something here, taking that out from there and moving it here, adding arrow shots left and right. Adding a dance move, changing a dance move. Adding a move up on the trapezes, changing something, Kate insisting that Clint should be in the spotlight there, Clint all but yelling that he won’t, so more changes appeared.

It wasn’t just physically exhausting, it was emotionally tiring as well.

Clint wanted this to be perfect. For Kate. He knew how much she needed it to be perfect, so he did his best.

It involved a lot of fighting with Kate, because her initial reaction to Clint saying ‘let’s do this!’ was ‘futz no, Clint’. They usually managed to find a common ground, compromise without actually making the routine bad, but it was exhausting.

And, honestly, every time Clint touched her (which was a lot!), he prayed to whatever god he didn’t believe in anymore that Kate wouldn’t flinch.

She never did, not really. Sometimes, if he gripped her too hard, she would suck in a breath through her teeth, but that was about it.

But Kate always seemed surprised by her lack of reaction. So it was clear that she still expected to freak out when Clint touched her.

Everything was very exhausting and Clint didn’t even want to leave Kate’s side.

→⃝←

Kate broke down one day.

Clint had caught her, but she screwed up the jump from her trapeze. She yelled at him to let her go, and he did, Kate falling onto the net and quickly moving off of it.

Her knees gave up after two steps on the floor, and Clint went quickly to her side when he realized that Kate was crying.

He fell to his knees next to her, but he didn’t touch her.

‘Can I hug you?’, he asked. He always asked.

Kate never did answer these days, she usually just hugged him directly. Now, though, she fell against him. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and strongly fisted her hands into the tank top he was wearing.

Clint wrapped a hand around her shoulders and used his other one to gently run through her hair.

‘Are you hurt?’, he had to ask because she was shaking so hard, it scared him.

But Kate shook her head and pushed herself even closer to him.

Clint has no idea how long they stayed like that, but he didn’t move, not until Kate’s breaths evened out and the shaking stopped.

‘I’m tired’, she breathed out against his neck. ‘Clint, I’m so tired.’

‘That’s all you had to say, Katie-Kate. We’ll take a couple of days off, however many you need. I’ll…’, he took a deep breath. ‘We can go into town tomorrow, if you want. I haven’t been to the movies in ages. Or we could just grab a bite or a drink. If you want. I don’t know.’

Kate chuckled at his babble, and moved enough to look at him.

‘Movie, huh?’

Clint pulled a face. ‘I panicked.’

She snorted at that, and it was a good sign, so Clint breathed a sigh of relief. He also let go of her, but Kate grabbed a hold of his hand before he could step back.

‘But now I wanna go to the movies with you.’, she smiled.

Good thing Clint had the night off tomorrow.

→⃝←

He slept until lunch. So did Kate.

Their friends were giving them weird looks when they turned up to eat.

‘So uh’, it was Tony, of course it was, ‘did the Hawkeyes finally hook up?’

‘No’, Kate said.

Then, after a beat, she looked at Clint. ‘Wait.’ She tilted her head. ‘That doesn’t sound so bad.’

‘We can’t call you Hawkeye’, Clint rolled his eyes. ‘I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but it doesn’t go with the story very well, does it?’

Kate nodded. ‘I’ll think of something. You really don’t mind?’

‘Don’t be stupid’, he snorted. ‘You’re pretty good for a legacy.’

‘Awh’, Kate said. ‘Awh’, she said again, giving Clint her last cup of coffee and half of the muffin on her plate.

He grinned as he stuffed his face.

‘Seriously?’, Tony asked. ‘Still no?’

They both glared at him.

→⃝←

Clint had fun at the movies.

He had no idea what the movie was about, he wasn’t really paying attention. But Kate was wearing a light purple dress and a bit of color on her lips. And she kept on giggling throughout the film, with their knees pressed together, it was distracting.

→⃝←

‘How’s your costume coming up?’, Clint asked one day, even if he wanted to ask something completely different.

‘It’s almost done’, she grinned. ‘And it looks great!’

‘That’s good. So uh’, Clint gulped. ‘Should I talk to Fury? He likes to look at every performance before he puts it in the show.’

Kate quickly turned to look at him, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped.

‘You think I’m ready?’

‘ _We_ ’re ready’, Clint nodded. ‘You haven’t made a mistake in two months and honestly? I don’t think we could perfect it more than this.’

Kate sat down. In the middle of the road, they were on their way to the RVs. They were in front of Steve and Bucky’s trailer, actually, and when Kate started saying different variations of ‘no’ out loud, over and over again, the two man came out.

And stared down at Kate, as Clint was doing. She didn’t stop saying no, nope, niet, non, nuh-uh.

‘Is she okay?’, Steve asked him.

Clint shrugged. ‘She might be having a meltdown.’

Bucky turned to glare at him. ‘What did you do?’

‘Told her we were ready to start the show.’

‘Oh’, Steve and Bucky said in sync before turning to look at Kate. At least she shut up.

‘I’m sure you’ll do great’, Steve said, smiling reassuringly.

‘Well I’m not’, Kate all but screeched.

‘Clint seems to be sure’, Bucky pointed out and Kate sighed. Deeply.

‘Look’, he breathed out, kneeling so they would be at the same eye level, ‘we don’t have to do it now if you’re not sure, we could wait-‘

‘I had an idea’, Kate cut him off. ‘To add another scene, to change the ending.’

‘I thought you said the ending was fine’, Clint frowned, because it was something they argued a lot over.

‘It is fine’, Kate nodded, ‘but this… it’s going to make it great.’

Clint didn’t look convinced, and it made her grab a hold of his hand and squeeze it tightly.

‘Please, just hear me out, yeah? I really think you’d want to do this. And it won’t be hard, technically, so in a week or two, when we get it right’, she took a deep breath, ‘we’ll put on the show.’

He couldn’t really say no to her, and she knew it, cause she smiled and stood up, dragging him up as well.

‘So crisis adverted?’, Bucky asked, obviously confused.

‘Sorry’, Kate said, but Steve easily waved her off, saying that they were happy it wasn’t that bad.

→⃝←

Kate was right, he did like the new ending. And he did want to put it into the show.

And he didn’t even mind that her idea for the dance was slightly sexual. If she didn’t mind, then he didn’t.

→⃝←

The big reveal was scheduled for tomorrow and it wasn’t like Clint was nervous, not exactly. He was more nervous for Kate that he was for himself, because she didn’t really seem to be ready to perform in front of people.

She got down the routine to a T, there was no way she was ever going to fail at it. But all this time, it was just the two of them. Clint really didn’t think she was fully ready for an audience.

He was going to ask her to dance after dinner, out in the open where everybody could see them, but apparently, they were on the same wave length. Because she asked him first.

‘I mean, we should give them a tease, right? To make them come tomorrow? You said that it’s better to have more carnies there.’

Clint didn’t really answer.

Instead, he stood up and lifted her straight up on the table, before following her there.

‘Ladies and wannabe gentlemen!’, he yelled. ‘The Hawkeyes are politely inviting to their coming out party, tomorrow after lunch in their tent!’

‘You gay, Barton?!’, Brock yelled and he rolled his eyes.

‘You kinda walked right into that’, Kate whispered in his ear, making Clint glare at him.

‘We’re doing the first part of the last dance’, was his answer.

‘Now?’, Kate’s eyes almost fell of their sockets.

Clint winked at her, before smoothly falling into position.

‘Brock!’, he yelled, not taking his eyes of Kate. ‘You keep asking me that question, I think you’re interested.’

He spluttered in rage, while all the carnie folk laughed. And it was on the sound of that, that Kate and Clint started dancing.

The boys put on some music at some point, but they weren’t dancing to it, not really. They were just rehearsing part of their routine, on top of a table in a mass of other tables filled with their carnies.

And Kate was smiling. She was dancing, smiling at him and squeezing his hand tightly every other move.

They had a couple of drinks that night, in Clint’s trailer. She didn’t leave. They slept on Clint’s bed with Lucky between them, Kate having stolen all the covers.

When he woke up, Kate told Clint that he snores. But she also sleepily kissed his cheek and gave him a cup of her special expensive coffee.

→⃝←

Every single carnie was there, but Clint expected that.

He was king of a big deal, one of the oldest in Fury’s circus and one of the best at more than one circus attraction, known for always doing his one man show.

Until now.

What surprised him was how well Kate looked.

Not only did her suit match Clint’s, but it looked well on her. Kate’s hair was up, the stage makeup was perfectly applied and, the most shocking thing of it all, she was smiling.

‘I’m ready’,  she said and Clint grinned as widely as he could.

‘Well then, Hawkeye. Let’s show them what we got.’

→⃝←

The grand entry of the Hawkeyes happened without one another.

They were on different sides of the stage, separated by a white wall. Still, they worked completely in synch. But if Clint shot an arrow to the left, Kate shot to the right. If he shot up, she shot down.

They never hit anyone, but they got close enough. Close to the shoes of a man in the first row. Close to the hat of the lady in the third row. Close to the guard sitting at the exit. Close to the music machine.

Always in sync, always in different directions.

And then, the wall that separated them disappeared.

Hawkeye and the Dark Archer first laid eyes upon one another, and they both froze. Then, they both raised their bows and armed an arrow at each other’s chest.

But neither of them was able to shoot.

Slowly, the Dark Archer started smiling. She blew Hawkeye a cheeky kiss and ran away.

And thus, an elaborate game of cats and dogs began. Sometimes, Hawkeye was following her. Sometimes, he was the one being followed.

Their chase took them through many places, and more often than not, they met and fought.

They fought in dark alleys, masked as a complicated, harsh dance. They fought in the air, a long and tiring fight, a chase on the trapezes.

They fell to the floor, exhausted and in paint, but they got up and ran.

Sometimes, he got lose enough to push an arrow to her neck. Sometimes, she got close enough to push a knife to his cheek.

They fought again, their last fight, the most violent of them all. They fought with their arrows, they fought with guns, they fought with knives and with their fists.

But Hawkeye got the upper hand. He found himself with an arrow pointed at the Dark Archer’s chest. And once again, just like when they met, she smiled at him.

Hawkeye couldn’t shoot her.

So he took her under his wing. He took care of her, he showed her love and happiness. He hugged her and he danced slowly with her, he raised her up and held her tight.

Slowly, the darkness started to fall off the Dark Archer, sometimes ripped by Hawkeye, sometimes by her.

By the time the dance was over, the Dark Archer wasn’t wearing a black suit anymore. The parts they took off were piled in the middle of the stage, and the former Dark Archer was now wearing a purple suit.

Lighter than the original Hawkeye’s one, but similar in many ways. And they did it all together.

He saved her, helped her become a hero, like him.

They were standing on top of what was left of her darkness, his hands were on her waist and hers were on his chest.

She moved her hand slowly to the back of his head, and she took a deep breath before bringing his head down.

The curtains closed before their lips met, thus signaling the end of the performance.

Kate and Clint were both panting, but they both knew the truth: they were absolutely amazing.

Neither of them moved. Clint smiled, so incredibly proud of her, and Kate, she smiled back, before doing something she has never done in all of the months they trained together.

Kate pulled Clint down and erased that little space that was left between them. The kiss was short and sweet, both of their breathing still off with exertion, but Kate didn’t look shocked when she pulled back.

‘You didn’t have to do that’, Clint said, and he wanted to let go of her, he really did want to give her the space she usually needed, but Kate wouldn’t have it.

‘I wanted to’, she said quickly. ‘I wanted to do that for a long while.’

‘Yeah?’, Clint blinked. ‘Are you going to… keep doing it?’

‘Hawkeye’, Kate said, mockingly. ‘You’re very slow for someone who’s supposed to be fast.’

Clint took that as a challenge, of course, so Kate yelped when he lifted her up and over his shoulders. She screeched and held onto his hair for dear life.

But he wasn’t going to let her fall and she knew it.

Everybody was applauding for them. Fury looked proud, which was something Clint hasn’t seen in 20 some years.

Tony was dancing on top of his station, Steve and Bucky were yelling Kate’s name, Natasha looked just as proud as Fury did and Clint, well…

He really wanted to get out of there.

‘Hawkeyes!’, Fury’s voice boomed over the tent. ‘Welcome to the show!’

There was another loud round of applause, but Clint couldn’t really pay attention to it, because Kate was doing… _something_ , he didn’t really understand what, but it made her land on the ground next to him.

‘We did it!’, Kate yelled at the top of her lungs, throwing herself in his arms and kissing him not at all sweetly.

This time, Clint didn’t linger. No matter how much Fury called after them, no matter how much Tony teased them, no matter how loud Nat yelled that he was being rude, no matter how much Bucky and Steve catcalled, no matter how many time Bruce winked at him and no matter how many times Darcy the fortune teller said she already knew this was going to happen, Clint didn’t linger anymore.

He took Kate straight to his trailer, without looking back, and he promise her, that night, that he will do anything in his power to always keep her as happy as she was tonight.

→⃝←

The Hawkeyes were great hits in Fury’s circus, for years and years to come. The stories changed each year, and only the carnies knew how they were inspired by real life events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fortymiler = newcomers to the circus, who (metaphorically speaking) have never been farther than 40 miles away from their home  
> **big top = the main tent used for the performances  
> ***aerialist = person who performs suspended above the ground, on a trapeze or something similar


	28. Kate/Clint: Clint Barton has a nice day. A nice week. A nice month.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I posted [this pic spam](http://sssssssim.tumblr.com/post/142753021321/insta-hawkguy), of 10 random posts from Clint's instagram. [May](http://maysworlds.tumblr.com) wanted a fic about it.

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Clint was used to being impulsive, doing things without thinking about them, spontaneous.

So when he got a week off from his day job of being an Avenger, he walked to the closest store and did something he has been wanting to do for a long while: he got a camera.

Fancy new camera, expensive camera, top of the line DSLR. He couldn’t wait to get home and start playing with it. But it was a nice day out, the sun was shining and it was warm enough for Clint to feel a bit of sweat peeking through at the back of his neck.

So he took the long way home, fully intending to pass by Starbucks and get himself an iced treat.

He didn’t make it, because on his way there, there was a dog. It looked like Lucky, except that it had both eyes. It acted like Lucky too, bouncing up and down on its way to Clint, where it promptly began licking his hand.

It’s been a year and a half since Clint lost Lucky, but he still missed his dog. So he promptly forgot about his coffee and sat down on a strangers lawn, playing with their dog.

He didn’t even notice someone come out of the house, but he did notice when another dog joined Not-Lucky. It was a puppy, small and adorable, clearly one of Not-Lucky’s offspring's.

‘You don’t happen to be looking for a dog, are you?’, someone asked, and when Clint looked up, he saw a woman well past her youth, with a kind smile on her face.

‘Sergeant here’, she petted the older dog, ‘had three babies with his girlfriend. This one’, she pointed at the puppy that was currently licking Clint’s neck, ‘is the only one we didn’t manage to find a home for. And we can’t really afford to take care of another dog.’

Clint’s mind worked in mysterious ways. So what he said was: ‘You named your dog Sergeant?’

She chuckled. ‘My kid did. She was just learning about the Howling Commandos at school, and Barnes was her favorite. We barely convinced her that Bucky wasn’t a good name for a dog.’

Clint laughed, a lot. ‘I’ll be sure to tell him that.’

It took a beat before the woman recognized him.

‘Oh.’, she said. ‘Sorry, Hawkeye. There’s no way you have time to care of a dog.’

‘I do, actually’, he piped up, instinct making his arms curl around the puppy. ‘I’ve had a dog before, lost him a while back. Lucky looked just like Sergent here. And, come on’, he thought out loud, ‘a dog named after Bucky? It’s gotta be fate, right?’

‘I don’t usually believe in fate’, the woman smiled at him. ‘Not when it doesn’t involve Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes.’

‘Fair enough’, Clint nodded. ‘So uh. Can I buy the puppy?’

The woman grinned.

Three hours later, Clint’s new puppy was happily rolling around in the leaves behind his house.

‘What should I name you?’, he mussed out loud, taking a biziilion pictures of her. When she grabbed a hold of the camera’s strap and started pulling, Clint couldn’t help but think that it was something Lucky would have surely done.

‘Miss Lucky’, he said, and the puppy stopped its game. ‘Missy, for short.’

The puppy barked once and started licking at Clint’s hand, demanding cuddles. She liked the name, then, and it stayed.

When Kate got there a few hours later with dinner, she screeched so loudly Clint got a call from Stark to ask if he was okay, cause Jarvis picked it up through Clint’s hearing aid, and the AI thought something was wrong.

≡

≡

He posted a picture of Missy on instagram the next day, and it only took 20 minutes for his phone to start beeping. Various avengers sending him variations of ‘AWH!’, but it was the text from Steve that Clint stopped on.

_Clint! Morning! Two things! 1: I know you got a new house so we got you a housewarming gift, I’ve been meaning to get that to you. 2: Can Bucky and I invite ourselves over to play with Missy?_

There was also a picture attached, with both Steve and Bucky holding their hands in front of their chests in a praying stance, both of them looking at the camera with big puppy eyes.

After he stopped laughing, Clint texted back, saying that they should come to dinner, he’ll order pizza.

As soon as Bucky stepped inside of the house, he went straight to Missy, completely ignoring the fact that he was in Clint’s _new_ house. Steve was more composed, assuring Clint that they’ll go on a tour later, warningly hugging him and giving him a gift bag.

Clint didn’t have a place mat, so he was happy about the gift. And then he saw that it said _NICE UNDERWEAR_ and, well, Clint started laughing again.

He also texted Kate and told her to come over.

‘Clint, what the fuck?’, was what she yelled as she opened the front door. ‘You pervert!’

When she was in the living room and able to see Steve and Bucky, Clint grinned at her.

‘They got it for me.’

Kate sighed. ‘Of course they did.’

She also went back outside, and Steve said he could hear her taking pictures. Late that night, when Clint checked instagram, he saw that Kate posted a picture of her chucks on the mat, and next to it, there was a picture of what were clearly her hips, covered in a pair of girly boxers, with tiny arrows on them.

The caption said _Thanks, they’re my favorite_.

Clint took a cold shower before going to bed.

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≡

Three days later, Clint was woken up early in the morning by Bucky calling him.

‘Who’s dying?’, is what he answered with, prompting a snort from Bucky.

‘Nobody, but here’s the thing: I’m doing a photoshoot today.’

Clint yawned. ‘Huh?’

‘My therapist thinks it’s good for me to try new things, and our PR specialist thinks it’ll be good for my image.’

‘What kind of shoot?’, Clint was a little bit more awake now.

‘Fashion bullshit’, Bucky laughed. ‘And uh, Steve is visiting a children’s hospital today. I, well...’, he took a deep breath, speaking hesitantly after, ‘I don’t want to go alone.’

‘Sure’, there was no hesitation on Clint’s part. ‘When and where and bring me coffee.’

Clint actually enjoyed himself on the photoshoot. It was supposed to be boring, he thought, just sitting there and watching, but it was fun to see the way Bucky was so freaking shy and awkward at first, but as the hours passed and the clothes kept changing, Clint liked seeing him mellow down. He cracked jokes and low-key flirted with the photographer, growing more cocky and sexy with his poses, and by the end of it, Bucky said that it was a good day.

Clint had to agree.

 _Tell Barnes I want to have his babies_ , Kate texted him after he posted a pic on instagram.

He showed the message to Bucky, who narrowed his eyes. He texted an answer himself, and when Clint checked it out, he laughed for a long while.

_I’d have to talk to Steve first, but it’s good to know we have a surrogate option._

At that, Kate answered a single _:o_.

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Even if Clint’s life has been pretty bitching awesome lately, he knew it wouldn’t exactly last.

So when Doctor Doom attacked New York with _yet another_ set of robots, Clint sighed all the way through getting suited up. He also sighed all the way through the fight and the debrief that came after they stopped Doom.

He was exhausted, but too hyped up to sleep. He knew his body, coffee wasn’t a good idea right now, but a calming, sweet tea, that was a brilliant idea.

So he went to Starbucks. The one closest to his house only had a couple of baristas on rotation, and by now, they all knew who Clint was. But there was a new girl behind the counter, and she asked for his name and, well.

It was funny, Clint supposed. He’s been called a CUNT before. This time, it wasn’t intentional. Probably. So he laughed at it, and posted it on instagram, cause that was just the type of person he was nowdays.

Everybody had a laugh, and the next time he went into Starbucks and met the new girl, she apologized, wrote ‘Hawkeye’ on his cup and let him have it on the house.

And then she asked for Kate’s name. Kate grinned, said ‘Hawkeye, of course’, and they both enjoyed the look of pure anguish they put on the poor barista’s face.

≡

≡

Paparazzi shots always amused Clint. And it was even more amusing, when random Avengers and Avengers affiliates sent them to him.

This time, it was Stark. Because it was his car. They had a bet, that Stark lost, so Clint got to drive a car of his choice from Stark's personal garage. He took Kate on a field day, drove them around the New York area.

It was a good day, and a good night, because they drove through it. And of course, the next morning, half of the tabloids were judging him for being an Avenger and spending so much money on something as frivolous as a car, and the other half of the publications were speculating about his relationship with Kate. Again.

He didn’t really mind, he got used to it by now. Kate wasn’t mad about it either, it amused her terribly.

Which was made obvious by the text Clint got from her.

_So, Clint, are you my sugar daddy now?_

≡

≡

Nobody really knew when Natasha’s birthday was. Each year, they’d all get a text or an email a week before the party. It was always another day, another month.

Clint never took those messages into account. He always celebrated Nat’s birthday on the day they met.

On the day they actually saw each other’s faces, not a dodgy photo in a report. On the day of their first fight, the one that ended with both of them panting, with Clint saying that he didn’t want to kill her, with Nat admitting that she wanted him to do it, that it was her only escape. On the day that Clint disobeyed an order for the first time in his career with Shield, on the day Hawkeye brought the Black Widow in.

It’s Kate that sent him the photo, surprisingly enough. She knew, of course, about his arrangement with Nat, and apparently, the pic was available in the files that leaked when Shield fell.

Looking at the picture, remembering exactly when it was taken, Clint didn’t think stuff like _oh, how young she was here_ , or _oh, how long we’ve known each other for_ , or _oh, how much we’ve changed_. The only think Clint could think of was how glad he was that Natasha was still in his life.

With that in mind, he posted the picture on instagram. Nat saw it, and her reaction was to text him a simple _love you too_. She was in South America at the moment, Clint knew she had a mission, but he also knew that as soon as she’d come back to New York, they’d spend a night on his couch watching cheesy romcoms and drinking expensive vodka.

≡

  
≡

Sitting in his boxers on the couch one Tuesday morning, with Missy curled up next to him and a mug of coffee in his hands, Clint couldn’t help but think that in the past months, things have been quiet.

Since he moved into the new house, the world only almost ended only twice and he woke up from a nightmare just three or four times.

Things were… calm.

He… didn’t think he was able to handle that. Like a switch being pulled, he grew anxious. Instantly. Suddenly, he couldn’t just sit around doing nothing. He couldn’t just sit on his couch in boxers and enjoy a cup of coffee.

Just as Clint was getting up, Kate barged in. She was also wearing pajamas, mostly, and she had two Starbucks cup in her hands and a pencil keeping her hair up.

‘So there’s this show that we’ve been ignoring for a couple of years now. About the Green Arrow.’

‘The who now?’, Clint frowned, taking the coffee Kate offered and putting in on the table next to the one he was already drinking.

‘Green Arrow, he’s a comic book character. Vigilante, shoots a bow and arrow, part of the Justice League.’

‘Uh-‘, Clint frowned.

‘We’re watching it’, Kate said with authority, already grabbing the remote. ‘He’s hot and we can make fun of how badly they screw up archery.’

Clint … sat back down on the couch.

The next morning, Felicity Smoak was finding out that the Hood was Oliver Queen and Clint thought he could use a shower.

Three days later, Oliver was saving Felicity from the Count and Clint was _invested_.

‘This is ridiculous’, he told Kate. ‘This is a bad show, with horrible archery and way too much drama and-‘

‘It’s not that bad.’

‘-and why can’t I stop watching?! Katie, what’s wrong with me?’

She snickered. ‘Feelings, Barton. You’re displaying _feelings_. Towards fictional characters, sure, but hey!, you’ll get to real people soon enough.’

That made him frown. ‘I have plenty of feelings about real people.’

Kate just raised an eyebrow.

‘I do’, Clint insisted. ‘I respect Cap, I love Nat, I pretty much adore Bucky and the rest of the Avengers, I love you-‘

He stopped.

Kate looked at him, waiting.

Clint blushed. ‘Well, it’s true.’, he mumbled.

She rolled her eyes and started the next episode of Arrow.

A few days later, when they were caught up on the show, Clint put a picture on instagram. Stephen Amell, the actor playing Oliver Queen, actually commented on it.

_I don’t know if I want to argue with you that my show’s not trash tv, or if I want to ask you out for coffee._

Clint went out for coffee with Stephen Amell. Kate spent the entire time mostly silent, looking between the two of them and biting on her lower lip, blushing every now and then.

He had no idea what that meant.

≡

≡

Clint never in his life though he would end up being the type of person to go to movie premiers. But here he was.

It was good for their image, apparently, and Clint didn’t mind seeing a new zombie flick.

So he hired a stylist and put on a very expensive suit (that he could actually afford, Barney’s surely to be hella jealous), and he picked Kate up in a limo and only stared for a couple of seconds at how beautiful she looked.

When they got on the red carpet, Kate wordlessly took Clint’s phone out of his pocket, arguing that he’s going to do more interviews than her and she’ll get bored.

She was right, and Clint did had to do a lot of interviews, but Kate stayed by his side the whole time. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her taking pictures every now and then.

The movie was cool, and the after party was even cooler, and when he got home, Clint kissed Kate’s cheek, told her to grab a pair of his pajamas and didn’t bother going to the bathroom to change into his own.

As he laid in bed waiting for her to get in to, Clint realized that he was slightly drunk. He’s been worse, really.So he checked his phone, pleased to see that Kate took a lot of pictures.

There was one with Steve that stood out. They were both laughing at each other, the picture taken after they hugged and they both looked… happy.

It was a weird sight, considering how on most days, Clint looked in the mirror and saw a depressed mess of a man, and considering how he vividly remembered that Steve looked just the same a few months ago, before Bucky came along.

He instagrammed the picture, writing something that felt right at the time. _Bro. I love you, bro. Let’s run away into the sunset together. Bro._ Yeah, it felt right.

When Kate came to bed, wearing his pajamas and with Missy happily trailing along after her, when both of his girls got into bed and cuddled him from either side, Clint grinned.

He may be a depressed mess of a man on most days, but some days were good. Some days, he was happy.

The next morning, he woke up to a text from Bucky, _Stay away from my man, Barton >:(_, and to Kate who teased him merciless and couldn’t stop giggling.

≡

≡

When he got the e-mail with the fashion shoot proposition, Clint didn't even hesitate long enough to google the magazine. He just said yes.

He didn't tell anybody about it, though. He did the shoot, had fun during it, had flashback of his circus days when all eyes were on him, got over the slight embarrassment of taking off his shirt, and he stared at the pictures a long while, cause they looked good. He looked good.

It was a month later when the pictures come out, on the cover of the magazine. It caused a bit of an uproar in the Avengers circle, and Clint couldn't help but feel smug about it.

Especially after Bucky texted him:  _Point taken, hot stuff. Point very much taken._

But. But… Kate didn't say one thing. No teasing, no shameless flirting, nothing. Clint expected something, he didn’t know what, exactly, but some kind of reaction.

It was a couple of days later when he accidentally saw Kate’s phone, one of the pictures from the shoot set as a wallpaper.

He grinned, and Kate leveled him with an innocent look.

‘What?’, she shrugged. ‘You’re hot.’

There was a pause, in which Clint blushed and Kate stared down at him.

Then she was the one to blush, and look away.

‘And I love you’, she said in a soft, whispered voice, which threw Clint completely off guard.

‘Yeah?’, he breathed out. ‘How much?’

She looked up at that, not quite reaching his eyes, very hesitantly, and with a lot of emotions clear on her face.

‘However much you’d let me.’

Clint took a deep breath at that and extended a hand for her. He didn’t move until Kate grabbed a hold of it, and when she did, he slowly pulled her closer, until she was sitting in his lap on the couch.

‘I’d let you a lot’, he said, willing her to understand. ‘A whole lot.’

She nodded at that, finally looking up into his eyes.

Kate was still blushing, but she was also smiling. Her hair was down in a curly mess, her tshirt was soft under his fingers and she was close, so close.

Closer than ever before, it seemed.

Which was ridiculous, because they’ve been trapped in confined places a high number of times, and Clint still vividly remembers that one time she had her elbow pressed into his crotch.

But it was true. Kate was closer than ever, so Clint kissed her.

She sighed happily and kissed him back, bringing their bodies even closer and pushing her fingers into his hair.

‘Katie’, he whispered against her lips, ‘I-‘

‘Me too’, she interrupted, nipping on his lower lip. ‘Now shut up, Hawkeye’, she sounded breathless, ‘and get to work.’

That’s exactly what he did.

≡

≡

The day he and Kate first slept together wasn’t anything special.

They stayed up late one Saturday night, watching a couple of Arrow episodes they missed, cuddling on the couch and lazily kissing in bed until they fell asleep.

In the morning, they had breakfast and several cups of coffee together. Clint took great pleasure in the way Kate only were a jumper around, in the way she was so comfortable. She’s always been comfortable around his space, sprawling on his couch and looking through every cabinet until she found the snack she wanted. But now she was comfortable that around _him_.

Clint took a picture, and Kate rolled her eyes at him.

It was a nice day out, as Kate pointed out, so they headed to the Avengers facility, taking advantage of the targets Stark put up for them outside.

They spent a couple of hours shooting and had dinner with Bucky, Steve, Wanda and Sam. They refrained from PDAs, and Clint didn’t know why, but he didn’t really mind it. If she wanted to keep them a secret, he’ll roll with it. 

When they got back to Clint’s, he walked Missy while Kate took a shower, and the mirror was still steamy when he took his shower.

Kate was waiting for him in the bedroom after. Naked.

She was on her front, with her legs bent up, the curves of her bottom standing out because of the harsh lighting in the room.

Kate looked up from her phone when he came in, and smiled.

‘You’re wearing too many clothes’, she said before turning back to her phone.

Clint got undressed, sure, but only after he took a picture of her.

Hours later, when they were both half asleep and happily exhausted, he showed Kate the collage he wanted to post on instagram.

‘Are you sure you want them to know?’, she asked.

Clint stared at her. ‘I don’t care, Katie. I mean, if it were up to me, I’d get Stark to write it in the sky.’

She chuckled at that, sweetly kissing his cheek before posting the picture herself.

In the morning, Clint had several text messages waiting for him.

Nat: _oh, finally_

Wanda: Y _ay! Yay! Yay!_

Tony: *attached picture of Wanda and Nat laughing* _They’re way too invested in your sorry ass_

Pepper: _Wh_ _at Tony meant to say is congratulations! We’re happy for you!_

Steve: _I’m happy for you two_

Bucky: _Don’t even let her think of double dates_

Sam: _Are they usually this excited when one of us hooks up? Cause suddenly I don’t wanna ask Maria out anymore_

Kate: _Love you. Now get your ass out of bed and bring it in the shower._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm leaving for Italy next week. I don't think I will update this until I leave, and about 8-9 days after that, so I'll be away for two weeks or so. Just fyi.  
> Bye! :)


	29. Steve/Bucky: Messy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times Bucky broke something and Steve mended it.
> 
> Inspired by [this](http://lolfactory.net/post/136920575635/my-boyfriend-fell-down-our-stairs-on-thanksgiving), so that part’s a bit longer than the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back!   
> I'm seeing Civil War tomorrow. So this is one last fun bang before... the angst that'll come from Civil War. Lord help us all.

**→One**

If anyone were to make Bucky describe his recovery in one word, he would say that it was _messy_. Because it was, horribly messy, in more than one way.

After Steve and Sam found him, the world was a mess. Steve’s friends and the government were after him, and the aftermath of the battles were messy, debris and blood splattered everywhere.

And when everything was sorted, when Bucky was brought back to life legally, when he was exonerated for the crimes he committed as the Winter Soldier, when he was allowed to go with Steve, everything was still a mess.

Because Bucky’s mind was a mess. His nightmares were messy, there were days in which he didn’t have enough strength to even speak, and Steve was a mess then, as well.

 _Steve_.

Bucky was a mess, and Steve was the one who fixed him. It wasn’t all him, sure, there were multiple therapists and Sam and Natasha and Clint, but Steve did a lot of the work.

He stood by Bucky’s side no matter how much time he spent not talking. He made sure Bucky took care of himself, fed him, made him shower and shave every day, got him clothes and let him share his apartment.

Steve hugged Bucky when he needed it, he cleaned after him whenever he broke something -it happened often- he was understanding and kind and he never once pushed.

Bucky could see it, that Steve wanted to talk. He wanted to know everything that Bucky remembered, wanted to tell him everything else. But Steve never did, not unless Bucky asked him to.

Steve fixed Bucky, slowly but surely, with long hours watching tv shows, even longer hours spent in a library reading up on world history, with plates of good food and bags of sweets, with long runs in the morning and scented candles lit in the evenings, with calling his friends when he couldn’t handle Bucky anymore, with hugs and friendly punches, with soft smiles and cheesy jokes.

Steve fixed Bucky, even if he always said that he wasn’t broken.

‘You were never the type of guy to get broken, Buck. Too strong and stubborn for that.’

‘I’m not that guy anymore, Steve’, he’d argue.

‘Of course you’re not’, the Captain would roll his eyes. ‘But there are some traits that are so deeply embedded in a person’s DNA, there’s nothing on this Earth and beyond it that would be able to erase them. So no, Buck, you’re not broken. You have a couple of chips, sure, but you’re working on gluing them back on.’

All Bucky had to do was believe him.

 

**→Two**

The first thing Bucky told Steve after they settled in the brand new house in New York was that he wanted the arm off. Steve didn’t look pleased, but it wasn’t his call. So Bucky took off the arm.

For the first three months of his recovery, he was truly crippled. It took a bit of learning and a lot of frustration, but he did manage to accommodate to only having one arm. Getting dressed took longer, so did showering, he got boots with a zipper and sneakers without shoelaces, someone else had to cut his food if he was in public, but at home he had no shame to do it with a fork or eat with his fingers. Steve didn’t mind.

The balancing problems were harder to deal with, but his body learned to overcompensate on instinct fairly quickly.

But it was a good decision for Bucky because his shoulder didn’t hurt anymore, nor did his chest and ribs. And it did wonders for his mind, knowing that he didn’t have Hydra tech on him, that he wasn't a Hydra weapon anymore.

That didn’t stop Steve from casually mentioning one morning, over breakfast, that the genius engineer from Coulson’s Shield has been working on a new arm for him and that it was finally over, if he wanted it.

Bucky stared, as Steve kept talking. About how the arm was lighter and bullet proof, how it had a top of the line cloaking technology to appear as if it was made of flesh, how Fitz made it so that it fit in the socket Bucky already had, how it still connected to his nerves, but that it was a lot more sensitive, that he could feel touch if he wanted to, but it had a ‘fight’ mode, that stopped him from feeling too much pain. It also had a shield, aparently, that came out at a push of a button, a hologram that was just as strong as Steve's. 

By that point, three months after they moved into New York, Bucky was only having nightmares twice a week, he ate two and a half meals per day and he managed to run with Steve in the morning every other day.

He was also accustomed to the idea that for the rest of his life, he will be a crippled.

Bucky destroyed the arm Hydra gave him. He took a hammer and bashed it into nothingness as soon as it was off.

He broke the arm, and Steve got him a new one. Bucky was surprised to find that he actually wanted it.

 

**→Three**

It took a couple of days for Bucky to get used to the new arm. It was… incredibly better than the other one, but after three months, the new added weight gave him a bit of trouble.

So did the power. The arm was strong, and it will take a while for Bucky to learn to control it on a day to day basis. This became clear the first morning after Fitz came over and attached it.

Bucky was not a morning person. Even on his best of days, Steve could only speak with him after breakfast and a strong cup of coffee. But Fitz advised him against eating the morning of the procedure, so after him and Doctor Simmons left, Bucky sat down grumpily at the kitchen table and waited for Steve to make him a sandwich.

What? If Steve wanted to pamper him, Bucky wasn’t going to say no to that.

And sure enough, that day, Bucky had coffee in Steve’s favorite mug, the one with a cute kitty drawn on it, that said _you’re puuuuurrfect_.

Well. Bucky would have drank the coffee, if he would have realized just how much strength his new arm had and if he hadn't shattered the cup the second he wrapped his metal fingers around it.

Bucky stood frozen in place, staring down at the broken pieces of ceramics that were now spread on the table, surrounded by a puddle of coffee.

‘It’s okay, Buck’, Steve said quickly, already using a towel to clean up. ‘I’ll make some more coffee.’

‘But kitty perfect’, was all Bucky was able to stammer out.

‘It was just a mug’, Steve chuckled.

‘Your favorite one’.

Bucky wanted to throw himself from the top of the Avengers tower, because all Steve did was help him, and all Bucky seemed to do was… break things.

Needless to say, that was not a good day for Bucky. He ate when Steve brought him food, drank a glass of water every two hours and spent hours on end in bed, curled up on one side, not talking. Not crying either.

It was long after the sun set when Steve dragged him to the kitchen. Literally, he pulled on Bucky’s feet until he fell to the floor and dragged him the rest of the way to the kitchen.

Once there, Steve used his hands to gruffly move Bucky’s head in the right direction. There was a new painting, on the wall above the table.

There was a kitty, that looked exactly like the one on Steve’s now broken mug, the same words were written next to it, _you’re puuuuurrfect_ , and upon closer inspection, Bucky saw that a couple of the letters were actually pieces of the mug.

‘See?’, Steve said softly. ‘I still get to keep my perfect kitty. I even got to draw it, too.’

Bucky breathed out slowly and he started crying, all the gathered stress of the day finally leaking out of him. He was already on the floor, so it wasn’t hard for Steve to sit down next to him and gather Bucky in his arms, holding him tightly.

 

**→Four**

They’ve been in New York for about six months when Thanksgiving rolled around. Bucky was doing well, as everybody kept saying, and truth be told, he was feeling like it too.

Waking up in the morning was easier, he was eating on his own accord, even feeling hungry every now and then. He craved things, sometimes, always making Steve chuckle. The nightmares were still there, but Bucky thought they’d always will be. He learned how to deal with them, though.

He also learned how to deal with people.

Steve was no problem, he hasn’t been even at the start. Bucky considered Sam to be his friend, not just Steve’s, and Natasha felt like she was their older sister.

But now, Bucky also knew Clint, and he sometimes went over to his apartment on his own, to play a video game or to pet Lucky. Kate was there, more often than not, and Bucky felt light when they’d tease and banter easily.

Wanda texted him a lot these days, normal things, mundane things, _hey look what the hot dude in front of me at the coffee shop was wearing_ , _ohmygod Bucky I just saw the most hilarious video_ , _dude what the hell did Steve say in that press conference_ , _Bucky please tell Steve I’m sorry for giving him a wedgie today at training_. He liked Wanda, liked that it was simple interacting with her.

He didn’t see Bruce too often, but when they met, Bucky always felt a kinship towards him, and he thought it was reciprocated, which was a nice, good feeling. They talked sometimes, deep conversations about control and consent, and while those discussions were hard for Bucky, they were good too.

He barely ever spoke with Vision, but nobody except Wanda really did. Even so, Bucky always got a smile and somehow, he’s not sure if it was magic or not, he always felt calmer around the Vision.

Bucky hadn’t met Thor yet, and neither he nor Steve have seen Scott since the fight.

Stark was still… a touchy subject. But they were polite, when they met, and that was good enough. Miss Potts was a whole other story, because she was the kindest person Bucky knew and she reminded him of Sarah Rogers a whole lot. So he called her Miss and held the door open for her, he always made sure her glass was full and that she was sitting in the most comfortable spot in the room. For his troubles, Bucky got hugs and kisses on the cheek, his hair ruffled and presents, a book or a shirt, _it made me think of you_ , tickets to plays or movies, _I think you’ll like this one_. Tony seemed a bit jealous, and Bucky felt smug about it. Steve seemed a bit jealous too, but that was ridiculous.

Anyway, the point was that Bucky was _okay_ with people. So when Steve suggested they do something for Thanksgiving, Bucky thought it was a great idea.

It wasn’t. Cause in the week following up to it, they were both a mess. They had to clean the entire house, they had to figure out where they’d find a seat for everyone, the Ikea trip that followed that was a frustrating mess.

‘Steve, that table won’t fit in the living room.’

‘It’ll fit.’

‘Steve, no.’

‘Bucky, yes. I’m buying it.’

Five hours later:

‘Well, Steve, I hate to say _I told you so_ , but it doesn’t fit.’

‘You’re right. Let’s just take out the couch.’

‘Out where?’

‘Uh…’

‘Damn it, Steve.’

And that is how they ended up spending a good six hours cleaning up the roof of the house, which they have never even stepped on. They had to go to the shops and buy a lot of paint and things, and then they went back to Ikea and got another table and chairs and this thing that was like a tent but wasn’t, it just had the top. It was dark red and Bucky liked it, but he also wanted to put on some fairy lights to brighten it up. So that meant another trip to the shops. And while they were there, they realized they needed more plates and cutlery, glasses and they all needed to match the tent, of course, and that took a long while, because _No, Steve, I don’t care if gold matches red, we’re not getting Iron Man colors_. They got most of the things in white, but the water glasses and the napkins were a bright turquoise. A surprising combination, but it was Steve, he knew his colors well.

They fell asleep at midnight, both of them too exhausted to even take off their clothes.

But in the morning, when Steve dragged Bucky up on the roof for breakfast, he had to admit it was a good outcome. Even after Thanksgiving, he could imagine himself coming up on the roof, to lay on a blanket and read, while Steve sketched next to him.

So Bucky smiled, and the answering grin Steve gave him was enough to make something stir inside his chest.

He didn’t have time to think about it, though, cause the party was tomorrow and they had a lot of cooking to do.

That was a mess as well. But it was a good mess, cause even though he was frustrated and anxious and _what do you mean you don’t remember if you put salt on it, Steve?_ , Bucky enjoyed it.

He and Steve spent the entire day in the kitchen, cooking books opened everywhere, such a mess of crushed eggs on the floor and flour in their hair, undefined stains on their shirts and the entire house was filled with so many smells, it was a bit overwhelming.

But it was good.

And the next day, when people started pouring in and they got to the roof, Bucky took great pleasure in looking at their faces.

The women were surprised, mostly. Natasha didn’t show anything, but there was a glint in her eyes, Wanda squeezed Bucky’s shoulder and said _that’s my color_ , Pepper was obviously impressed with how stylish it all was, Kate turned with big eyes towards Clint and said, somewhat desperately, _I want one, we need one!_

The men were another story. They were all surprised, yeah, but Sam had his jaw on the floor, _For a bunch of 90 some grumps, you sure can pull off fancy_ , Tony was obviously impressed and tried not to show it, _So where’s the booze? I need booze if I’m gonna survive this_ , Clint seemed jealous, _Yeah, Kate, we’re getting a tent because no way is anybody having a better roof than mine_ , Bruce was smiling, _This is lovely, guys, such a nice place_ , Vision ran a hand over the fabric of the tent and then turned around to look over the edge of the building, _I didn’t realize how great of a view was available from here._

Lucky ran three laps around the roof, before settling down right next to the drinks table.

Bucky met Thor now, and it was something different. But Steve warned him, about how Thor spoke and about how strong of a person he was, but also about the fact that he was slower in adjusting to Earth. Thor gave Bucky a very strong hug the second he stepped inside the house, and when Steve was distracted, Thor thanked him about making the Captain happy. He really didn’t have an answer to that.

Scott came too, surprisingly. He called an hour before, very awkward, saying that he knew he said he wouldn’t join them, but could he change his mind about that? His ex-wife and her husband left on some surprise trip, and he was stuck with his Peanut and absolutely no food in the fridge, and Bucky didn’t know who Peanut was, but Steve’s entire face lit up in an excited smile.

So Scott showed up with Cassie, his daughter. And he was so awkward, and thankful, and the kid was not, she was just so excited to meet them all. She was polite and didn’t push, but she shook everyone’s hands, introduced herself without any aid from Scott, and promptly thanked all the Avengers for saving the world and being nice to her daddy. And she thanked Miss Potts for sending computers to her school and she asked Clint’s permission before giving Lucky a big hug and she told Kate that she’s very happy the Avengers have ladies around, cause boys are stupid and they’d probably be nowhere without girls.

It was so endearing, Bucky wasn’t aware he could feel like that anymore.

And an hour later, someone dropped off Sam’s niece, cause he said he didn’t want Cassie to get bored with all the grownups, so there was another kid running around, dark skinned with bright eyeed, with messy hair and a Captain America t-shirt that made Steve blush beautifully.

While the grownups ate, the kids played and they were drawing and running to their families every now and then for a bite to eat or a glass of juice.

The food was good, Clint moaned around his first bite of turkey, Kate had only mash potatoes and gravy on her plate at some point, Vision didn’t eat - _This body doesn’t need sustenance, but that apple pie looks intriguing_ , Thor and Steve had an unspoken contest of who could eat the most, and Miss Potts, a few hours in, asked for a pair of sweatpants because her pants were going to explode. Bruce asked for the same, while Wanda was very smug about the stretchy skirt she was wearing.

They didn’t do the whole let’s say what we’re thankful for thing, but they didn’t really need to, did they? On a basic level, they were all thankful for being alive. On a more personal note, Bucky didn’t need to hear what all of them were thankful for, and he didn’t need to say out loud what he was thankful for.

Steve knew it either way, if the smiles thrown Bucky’s way were anything to go by.

All was nice and well, until Cassie asked about Thor’s hammer. After he explained, and after he shocked everyone with how good he was with children, Tony had an evil look in his eyes.

‘There are some people here who haven’t tried lifting it before.’

Most of the original Avengers rolled their eyes. Bucky was amused.

‘So who tried?’, he asked.

‘I did, Rhodey, Bruce, Clint and Steve’, Tony said. ‘Neither of us was able to lift it’.

‘Vision can’, Clint pointed out, making a smug expression appear on Vision’s face.

That prompted Tony to a long rant about how it didn’t count, but Bucky wasn’t listening, he was looking at Steve. Who was looking down at his shoes, his right fingers beating an uneven pattern on his leg, a clear sight of nervousness.

‘Steve’, Bucky said, making his tone teasing, ‘Good old Captain America isn’t worthy?’

Steve chuckled at him, completely unperturbed. ‘Afraid not.’

That was a lie. Bucky knew it was a lie. Steve knew Bucky knew it was a lie.

Steve shook his head, barely, sparing a look at Thor. So Bucky shut up about it, and turned back to the rest of them.

He laughed with the others, when they all failed in lifting the hammer. Natasha tried doing it with her thighs, which was pretty hilarious, and Scott was so sad about it, Cassie had to reassure him that he was still the best.

When Bucky tried, at the other’s insistence, he tried with the metal arm first. It wouldn’t budge, of course. Steve suggested he try with his flesh arm, so he did, and the thing moved. He couldn’t lift it, but it shook a bit.

‘That’s fucked up’, Bucky breathed out, shocked.

‘You said a bad word!’, two tiny voices screamed, and he was horrified. But it was okay, cause everyone else started laughing as he apologized to the children.

Thor asked Steve to try again. ‘Maybe it’s different now’, the god said with a pointed look to Bucky.

Steve tried, and it was very dramatic. The hammer moved, a lot more than it did for Bucky, but he could see it clearly, that it was all theatrics. It pissed him off, for some reason, and he planned on talking to Steve about it, but later.

There was a moment that made Bucky’s heart go haywire.

Long after the sun set, he noticed that the roof was quiet. People were talking, but the children weren’t screaming or giggling. Sure enough, the two girls were passed out asleep on their blanket, drawings everywhere and Lucky snoring between them.

Steve and Bucky worked quickly together at making the bed in one of the guest rooms, and Scott and Sam managed to carry the kids without waking them up.

‘Thanks, guys’, Scott said when they were in the hallway with the door safely closed behind them. ‘I… I’m still getting the hang of this part time dad, part time superhero thing, and it’s…’, he couldn’t seem to find his words.

A memory flashed in Bucky’s mind, a new one, and his therapists always encouraged him to talk about them.

‘You know what Steve’s mom used to say?’, he started. ‘That parents are always learning, side by side their kids.’

‘Buck’, Steve snorted. ‘She said that when you were struggling with your math homework and she couldn't help you.’

‘Well the point still stands’, he shrugged, before turning to Scott again. ‘You’re doing a pretty good job, from where I’m standing.’

Scott didn’t say anything, he just sighed, deeply, and squeezed Bucky’s shoulder tightly.

He didn’t know why that moment was so big for him. Maybe it was the way Steve smiled at him, softly and caring, or the way Sam’s eyes moved between the two of them for a beat, before he rolled them and said he needed more booze. Or maybe it was the way he found Miss Potts and Wanda cleaning up after the kids when they got back on the roof, or the drawing he saw, of a stick figure with long hair and a silver arm, riding a unicorn under a rainbow.

When their friends left, Bucky got a kiss on the cheek from every lady, he got a hug from Thor and Sam, and even a not too strong slap on the shoulder from Stark. Both of the kids hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek and Scott said he’d take him and Steve out for some drinks sometime.

It was a good night, but it wasn’t over yet. It took about an hour for the two of them to clean everything up, and it was done mostly in silence.

As they were going down the stairs to finally get some sleep, Steve put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

‘Did you have a good time?’

‘Yeah’, there was no hesitation in that, but there was a pause afterwards. ‘Why did you lie to Thor?’

The hand on his shoulder tightened its grip, as Steve sighed.

‘I didn’t want him to feel bad. I don’t want to rule Asgard either way.’

That… made Bucky mad, for some reason. He has always hated when Steve played himself down and this, this was a whole new level.

So he yanked his hand free from Steve’s hold, but once again, his strength failed him. He didn’t realize it, so his metal arm flailed, until it punched the wall.

Bucky stared at the hole. There was a hole in the wall. The wall they just painted a month ago, the wall next to the stairs, where they talked about hanging up some pictures, but haven’t gotten around to do it yet.

Everything shattered in Bucky’s chest. All the happiness and content he felt throughout the night evaporated, being replaced with such a deep feeling of failure, it broke his heart. He left without another word, no matter how much Steve called for him.

It wasn’t a good night. He didn’t sleep, so he heard Steve moving around the house till the sun came up.

At about 10 the next morning, he was starving, so he had to come out of the bedroom. On his way to the kitchen, he saw that there were two frames now hanging on the wall.

One of them was around the hole, perfectly centered, the frame matching the wood in the floors. And under it, there was a plaque: _First Thanksgiving, 2016, medium: hand, drywall._

Next to it, there was another frame, with one of the drawing the kids made last night: a stickman with dark hair and a silver arm, another stickman with a red, white and blue shield, sitting on top and eating from a giant cake. _Cassie and Hazel, 2016, medium: Steve’s crayons and Bucky’s paper._

Bucky laughed. He sat down on the stairs, put his head in his hands, and started laughing. And crying, at the same time. He looked up upon hearing a noise, and Steve was still in pajamas, leaning against the railing, watching him with an amused look.

‘Thor texted me’, he said. ‘Apparently, there’s an army of purple orks attacking Asgard, and he had to leave.’

Bucky pulled a horrified face.

‘I can’t handle that shit’, Steve said with a particularly disturbing look on his face.

Yeah, Bucky got it. But…

‘And Scott texted me’, Steve went on. ‘Said that Cassie wants one of those toy shields for Christmas.’

Bucky looked up at that.

‘That’, Steve said slowly, ‘is a lot more important to me than lifting a hammer.’

Bucky let the subject drop. Steve was right, of course, in the grand scheme of things, and he was sure, that there will come a point in the Avenger’s lives, when Steve will _have to_ lift the hammer during a battle. They’ll see it then. They’ll see what Bucky has been seeing since he was 7 and Steve was 6.

 

**→Five**

They have been in New York for a year when Bucky broke his bed.

He woke up from a terrible nightmare, the urge to fight too strong to contain, so he attacked the first thing he saw. The bed he was sleeping on.

After Steve pulled him away from all the splinters, after he forced him to shower and made him drink a warm cup of tea, Bucky couldn’t take it anymore.

‘I have to leave’, he said, and Steve froze, looking up at him with terrified eyes.

‘I have to, Steve. I can’t… This isn’t… Steve, I’m not getting better, this is as good as I’m going to get, and it’s bad. It’s…’, he took a deep breath, ignoring the tears streaming down his face. ‘I’m holding you back, and I can’t… I need to go, okay? I _have to_.’

Steve took a deep breath. ‘I’m not going to force you to stay. You can go, if you want’, a single tear feel down his cheek, ‘But… you’re breaking my heart.’

‘That’s what I do!’, Bucky all but yelled. ‘I keep breaking things, and you keep fixing them, and I’m breaking you. I’m _hurting_ you, Steve, I can see it. I’m shattering you into a million pieces, and you can’t-‘, his voice broke, but he pushed through. ‘You can’t fix this. You can’t fix yourself if I’m here.’

‘Let me try?’, Steve said in a whisper to his shoes. ‘You’re right, I’m … This lifetime around, I’m the one fixing your messes. So please’, they locked eyes then and Bucky could barely bare it, ‘ _Please_ let me try and fix this.’

‘How can you?’, Bucky sighed, closing his eyes.

He couldn’t look at Steve anymore. He loved him so much, he hated himself, he hated Hydra, he hated every single thing on this Earth that made Bucky Barnes _hurt_ Steve Rogers.

He didn’t hear Steve move, but there was a hand on his cheek. It startled him enough to open his eyes, and he was met with the sight of Steve. He was close, barely an inch between them, and there were tears in both their eyes, and Steve was biting on his lower lip and staring at Bucky’s.

Steve put his other hand on Bucky’s waist, gently sneaking it under his tshirt, until skin touched skin, making both of them shiver.

‘May I?’, Steve whispered, and Bucky didn’t know what he wanted to do. But he nodded, because it was Steve, and he would do anything for him.

When Steve kissed him, a memory came back.

They were in a tent, they were cold and there was a war in the world. Steve was big, and Bucky had just had his first debrief with Carter.

‘So how about that dame?’, he asked, and Steve blushed.

‘She’s nice, isn’t she?’

Bucky snorted. ‘She’s more than nice, and you know it.’

‘Yeah’, Steve breathed out. ‘She’s strong, Buck. And smart, and-‘

‘And real good looking.’

‘Yeah’, Steve said, but it was clear that he didn’t mean to.

‘And she’s interested in you, punk’, Bucky laughed. ‘Captain America gets all the dames, eh?’

Steve hesitated. ‘She’s not interested in Captain America. She’s interested in me.’

Bucky doubted that, and Steve knew it.

‘She is, Buck’, he argued. ‘She was there when I was small and frail and … And she was there during training. She saw me trying my hardest, hugging grenades to save them all, kicking the other’s recruits asses with my brain. She saw _me_ , Buck. Not Captain America.’

‘That’s good, punk’, Bucky smiled, somewhat bitterly. ‘It’s good that someone else sees what I’ve known forever.’

Steve turned to look at him then, with big eyes.

‘Don’t let her get away, yeah?’, Bucky said, turning around in his cot. ‘You need someone smart to keep you in line.’

‘I thought I had you for that’, came the quick response, and Bucky smiled, even though Steve didn’t see it.

‘And you’ll always do, but unfortunately, you can’t marry me, so Carter’s the next best thing.’

Neither of them said anything else that night, but Bucky remembered the feeling of dread he felt then, the jealousy and anger.

When he came back to the present time, Steve’s lips were still on his and his fingers were digging bruises on his hip. Bucky realized that he hadn’t moved, hadn’t kissed him back, and maybe that was why Steve looked so dejected when he pulled back.

‘I wanted you to do that since you told me I’ll be a great dad one day’, Bucky admitted.

Steve’s eyes grew wide. ‘That happened when…’

‘When my little sister was born’, Bucky nodded, still not able to say her name out loud. ‘Yeah.’

It took a couple of seconds of Steve just staring at him, but then, he kissed him again, still soft, still hesitant, still short. Bucky kissed back this time, as much as he could, but it didn’t matter, because Steve ended it quickly.

He didn’t pull away, though, instead he hunched over, pressing his face against Bucky’s shoulder, his hands lowering until Steve could tangle his fingers with Bucky’s, completely ignoring the fact that the left ones were colder.

‘You’re right’, Steve breathed out. ‘You do break things. And I do keep fixing them. So… Let’s stop. You, stop breaking my heart, and instead, help me fix it. Cause you’re right, I can’t do it on my own. I… Buck’, there was so much emotion in his voice, more than ever before, ‘Bucky, when I say _to the end of the line_ , I mean that I _need_ you. My line ends with you, and I…’

He was silent for a long time, and Bucky just stood there. Frozen in place, tears still streaming down his face, the heat of Steve’s body seeping into his, their fingers shaking against the others.

‘Please’, Steve breathed out, stronger than before. ‘Please stay with me.’

Bucky moved then. He pulled his hands away from the hold they were in, just so he could wrap them around Steve’s neck and kiss him properly.

Kiss him for all he’s worth, and Steve was worth _everything_.

So he kissed him as good as he could, poured his heart into it, melted against Steve’s body and ignored the tears on their cheeks, ignored the way his flesh hand was shaking, ignored the way Steve had trouble breathing, ignored the sound of Steve’s phone ringing.

‘I’m sorry’, Bucky said when they pulled apart, but Steve just smiled. Wide and carefree, happy and so, so very loving.

‘Come on, love, let’s get you to bed. Everything will be better in the morning.’

Bucky blushed because of the term of endearment, a vague memory of Carter using it once and all the Americans in the room frowning at her, but Steve was already grabbing his hand and gently leading him through the house.

Steve was right, everything was better in the morning.

And yeah, Bucky broke his bed. But it was okay, because after that, he slept in Steve’s.


	30. Steve/Bucky: Post Civil War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fix-it fic. Well, fix-it fic for the mid-credits scene.  
> Spoilers alert, all the spoilers alert!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently Laura Barton had three kids in the comics, two boys and a girl. Neither of them was named Nathaniel Pietro, so uh, the girl is called Nicole and the boy is called (*tosses coin*) Callum. Okay? Okay. Not that it's highly relevant for the story, but it's your useless information of the day :)
> 
> I saw Civil War three times. It was just as good every single time.

They end up at Clint’s farm. After Steve got them out of prison, there wasn’t even a discussion.

‘We’re going to my place!’, Clint declared. ‘I miss my wife and kids, and they want to meet Auntie Wanda and you guys still haven’t met Pietro.’

Nobody had anything to say to that. Well, Scott did, he said he needed to get back to his own kid, but they all advised him to wait a little, for everything to settle.

So they went to Clint’s farm. Laura was lovely, accepting them into her home with kind hugs, soft clothes and delicious homemade food.

It settled something inside Steve’s chest, really. Even though Tony knew of this place, he was the only one, and Steve knew they were safe here.

But he felt a calm settle over him, when he saw Wanda in a red flowy dress with one of Clint’s plaid shirts on top, sitting with little Pietro in her arms, both of them crying a little. And in the other corner of the room, Sam was talking about his wings with Callum, the kid hanging on to his every word. And in the kitchen, Scott was braiding Nicole’s hair, listening to her talking animatedly about something. 

Laura came by Steve’s side, bumping their shoulders together. It was only the second time they’ve met, still in the middle of a horrible situation, but Steve cared about her as much as he cared about Clint.

‘How are you holding up, Cap?’, she asked softly.

All Steve was able to do was shrug. Laura didn’t say anything, but she dragged him to the kitchen and made him a hot cup of coffee, starting a conversation with Scott. Steve just let everything wash over him.

His friends talking, the sound of children laughing, Laura clinking pots together, Clint still working outside on the porch railing, horribly singing a tune about carnies.

Steve missed Bucky terribly. Ever since he woke up from the ice, he always missed Bucky, 24/7. By this point, he felt as if it was embedded in his DNA. But, damn it, he got Bucky back. Briefly, really just for a quinjet flight, but they were safe and it was Bucky, and they were together.

And now they were not. And it hurt a lot more than he thought it would. Steve understood Bucky’s decision, he really did, but he couldn’t control the way his heart was missing a piece, the way his hands were shaking and the way he wanted to just run for a hundred miles.

Steve was startled when a baby floated in front of him. Pietro was giggling, kicking his little arms and legs with all his strength, as he was surrounded by waves of red.

‘Pick the baby up, Steve’, Wanda said, clearly laughing at his startled expression.

Steve did exactly that, and his feelings settled again. With a giggling baby in his arms, with Clint and Wanda arguing in the background about what she was and wasn’t allowed to do to his kids, with Laura making the kitchen smell of butter and sugar, his feelings settled. He was calm, again.

‘You’re gonna be okay, Cap’, Laura whispered to him, and he smiled at her, before blowing a raspberry into Pietro’s tummy, making him laugh.

◦○⃝○◦

They’ve been there for a week, and Steve was starting to feel bad for invading the Barton’s space for so long. They didn’t seem to care, Laura kept telling them that having a bunch of babysitters around did wonders for her exhaustion, and Clint seemed happy to have friends around.

But Scott was clearly missed his daughter, Steve knew that Wanda was aching to speak with Vision, Sam has been away from home since the second he met Steve.

Steve himself didn’t know where he’d go, what he’d do, but that didn’t bother him as much as it should.

Still, it was nice being with the Barton’s. Tonight, after tucking the kids in, they were all lounging in the living room, having beers and watching boring adult movies, as the children called them, when there was a knock on the door.

Clint turned to his wife, asking if they were expecting anyone. When Laura shook her head, Clint reached under the couch and came out with a gun, as they all got up and tensed.

Hawkeye pointed the gun expertly at the door and slowly made his way to it, Wanda hot on his tail, ready for a fight.

‘Please don’t make me say the password’, a male voice on the other side of the door said, making Clint freeze.

‘What’s the password?’, Clint said, and there was a sigh from the man outside the door.

‘Dog and Pony Show’*

Clint yelped, throwing his gun in Wanda’s general direction, all but running to open the door.

When Steve saw Coulson on the other side, he gasped and took a step back, colliding with Sam’s chest.

Coulson was smirking, slightly, looking like he had no care in the world.

‘May I come in?’, he asked and Steve didn’t even see it coming, but Clint punched Phil in the face.

That made them all move, Laura to grab a towel from the kitchen, Wanda and Scott to hold Clint back, Steve and Sam to help Phil up.

‘I deserved that’, he sighed, smiling at them around a bloody nose. ‘Still, may I come in?’

‘Bastard’, Clint said with feeling. Laura punched his shoulder, as she passed him on his way to Coulson.

‘Excuse him, Phil’, she said easily. ‘Yes, please come in, let’s stop the bleeding, and then you can sit us all down and explain how the hell you’re alive.’

Laura never swore. Phil must have known that, because he flinched pretty badly.

‘Yeah, man’, Clint said, grinning. ‘I’m not the only one pissed.’

‘Oh yeah’, Steve agreed to that.

‘Who are you?’, Wanda asked, frowning profoundly. She also moved her fingers and stopped Phil’s bleeding.

He didn’t even seem surprised by it, smiling gratefully at her.

‘It’s nice to meet you, Miss Maximoff. I’m Phil Coulson. Director of Shield.’

Everyone was too shocked to say anything to that. Except Scott.

‘I thought Shield fell with Hydra.’

Phil smirked at him. ‘It’s a long story which I’ll gladly explain.’

‘Get yourself cleaned up first’, Laura sighed, and Phil made his way to the closest bathroom.

Clearly he’s been here before, Steve absently thought, but then his brain went haywire because _Director of Shield?_ What the hell?

◦○⃝○◦

Coulson started by explaining how Fury brought him back to life, using alien DNA and toying with his memories. Okay, Steve could accept that.

Then Phil went on to talking about what happened with his team when Hydra fell and with Shield. How Fury gave Phil all the means necessary in order to rebuild. Okay, Steve could accept that.

He went on, talking about the other Shield, and how he, theoretically, still has a council to answer to. Okay, Steve could accept that, because it was clear that Phil couldn’t care less about his council.

And then, Phil started talking about Hydra. The organization, for one, but the Inhuman as well. And that… Steve had a problem accepting that. Still, he listened to what Phil said.

About the Kree, about dormant genes in human DNA that only come to life when put it contact with the terragen compound. About Daisy Johnson and her team, about Hive and the horrors of it. About how the ATCU really did finally bomb all the active Hydra facilities, and about how they did destroy Hive.

‘During that mission’, Phil said, ‘a couple of my best scientists were in Wakanda, working with a scientist there to develop a cure for the Hive infection.’

Steve froze, for the first time looking wearily at Phil.

‘They saw something they shouldn’t have.’, he smiled. ‘And they’re both…’, he tilted his head, ‘stubborn, to a point. They got King T’Challa to explain what happened to Bucky Barnes.’

‘That’s why you’re here?’, Steve asked.

Phil nodded. ‘I kind of owe you’.

‘For not telling us you were alive?’, Clint asked, still mad.

‘Yeah’, Coulson piped up. ‘So I’m offering you Shield’s services.’

‘To do what?’, Sam asked harshly, taking the words right out of Steve’s mouth.

Phil smiled, looking back to Steve. ‘To delete the trigger words from Sergeant Barnes’ mind using the Haiti machine. And to offer my best engineer to make him a new arm. He’s getting pretty good at it.’

He wiggled his left arm then, making them all frown, and then Phil took it off, from the elbow down.

‘Oh’, Scott said, eloquently. ‘That’s cool.’

Phil looked to him, amused. ‘Wait till you see the shield.’

Steve took a deep breath, making Coulson turn to look at him again.

‘It’s your call, Cap. But I promise you he’d get the best people Shield has to offer right now.’

‘Who?’, Clint asked.

‘FitzSimmons’, Coulson replied, making a small smile appear on Clint’s face.

‘The only reason T’Challa told them about Barnes was because Fitz kept insulting him in British slang and Simmons was crying, close to challenging him to a fight.’

Clint snorted at that, before turning to Steve. ‘They’re good, they’re the best duo Shield has ever had. No, really, there was an unofficial poll going around. Nat and I came second.’

Steve couldn’t really breathe, and he had trouble acknowledging the fact that this was real.

‘It’s not really your call’, Sam said, startling him. ‘It’s his.’

‘So what?’, Wanda asked. ‘You want to wake him up just to ask him?’

‘Yeah’, Sam said without hesitation. ‘That might be the best thing for him mental state. Wake him up, get this Fitzsimmons there to explain everything’, he shot a look at Coulson, ‘and I mean _everything_ he’d be going through, and let him decide what to do.’

Sam looked back to Steve, a bit of softness seeping through his expression. ‘I know what _you_ want to do, but it really should be his choice, Steve.’

‘Yeah’, he nodded slowly. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’

‘FitzSimmons can be here in an hour with a plane.’, Coulson piped up.

‘I’ll go pack’, Sam said, but Steve stopped him.

‘You don’t have to come with me. You’ve… all been …’, how could Steve even explain how grateful he was?

‘Steve-‘, Sam tried, but he cut him off.

‘You’ve all done more than enough. Thank you, but I can handle it from now on. You guys should stay here, or go home’, he looked at Scott. ‘Stay safe and we’ll keep in touch.’

Sam and Wanda shared a look.

‘I’m still coming’, Sam said. ‘There’s no way I’m passing the opportunity of having Barnes see my face first thing when he wakes up. Oh’, he looked weirdly excited, ‘he’s going to hate it.’

Wanda rolled her eyes. ‘Well I’m coming just in case something goes wrong and you need backup’. She paired this with a red spark from her fingertips.

Steve knew it would be pointless to argue with them, so he just smiled, grateful to no end.

‘So I can go home?’, Scott asked.

Clint playfully slapped his shoulder. ‘I’ll even give you a car.’

‘I’ll call Fitzsimmons’, Phil said, excusing himself from the room.

‘I’ll make you some sandwiches for the road’, Laura said, already heading for the kitchen. ‘And coffee.’

Steve… still couldn’t breathe very well. But then Sam dragged him up to their room to pack, and on the way there, Wanda squeezed his fingers tightly, so Steve forced himself to remember how to breathe and how to move.

◦○⃝○◦

Steve found it weird, that Coulson wouldn’t be coming with them to Wakanda, but then he met Doctors Fitz and Simmons, and Melinda May, who was the pilot, but Clint seemed kind of afraid of her.

He still couldn’t breathe properly, but once on the plane, Doctor Simmons started talking to him, politely asking about how medicine worked during his days. Weird thing to ask, but she seemed genuinely curious. And the discussion gave Steve something to focus on, something that wasn’t Bucky.

His conversation with Simmons evolved into other things, easy and mundane things, and at some point, Sam and Fitz started talking about the Falcon wings and about Redwing, and Wanda seemed content enough to just sit next to May in the cockpit.

Sooner than he expected, they arrived in Wakanda, and T’Challa was there, shaking hands with Fitz and smiling at Simmons, apologizing to Steve for outing his secret, but still offering his full support.

Wanda kept poking him in the back. It was a good strategy, Steve thought, cause it always made him remember to breathe.

◦○⃝○◦

Bucky woke up with a groan, at first, which quickly evolved into a gasp, as he opened his eyes and tensed all over.

Despite Sam’s tries, it was Steve’s face he saw first, because it was just the three of them in the lab, Wanda close by if she needed to interfere.

‘You’re okay’, Steve was quick to tell Bucky, upon seeing the desperate look in his eyes. ‘It’s still 2016, you’ve only been asleep for a week.’

Bucky blinked at him a couple of times. ‘Steve’, he said, voice rough, ‘please tell me you didn’t wake me up just because you missed my face.’

‘Oh, no’, Sam said. ‘He tried to, but I stopped him.’

Bucky didn’t even look at Sam, he just rolled his eyes, before he let them fall on Steve again.

‘Why?’, he asked more softly.

‘We want to ask you a question or two’, Steve started by saying.

‘You need Hydra intelligence’, Bucky nodded and Steve faltered at that.

‘No, uh, Hydra’s gone.’

Bucky frowned at that.

‘Long story, we’ll tell you, but uh’, Steve swallowed thickly. ‘That’s not it. There’s… There’s a procedure that can help.’

Bucky’s eyes grew wide at that. ‘Wipe me?’

Steve flinched, even as he shook his head quickly. ‘No, not that, never that. But it can… remove the triggers. It’s not gonna be pretty, but-‘

‘Okay’, Bucky said.

‘No’, Steve said slowly. ‘You’re going to sit down with the doctors, listen to what the procedure entitles, then think about it, _really_ think about it. Only after that you’ll make a decision.’

They just glared at each other for a while, but in the end, Bucky nodded, looking away.

‘I’m starving’, he said, coming down from the pod.

Steve sighed in relief, Sam snorted, and they all heard Wanda outside of the room saying a distressed ‘I don’t think there’s enough food in the facility.’

◦○⃝○◦

When Fitz and Simmons introduced themselves to Bucky, they addressed him as ‘Sergeant Barnes’ and explained, shortly, who they were and what they did for Shield. Bucky said nothing, but he kept on nodding.

‘Doctors’, Steve said thirty seconds minutes after Fitz and Simmons started talking about the procedure, ‘you’re going to need to dumb it down for us non-geniuses.’

‘That was dumbing it down’, Fitz frowned, making Simmons immediately elbow him, gently, in the stomach.

But then she started explaining, and it was better, because Steve understood it this time. He understood that the procedure would be invasive and hurtful, but that she was confident it would be successful.

Bucky listened to it all without saying a word, seemingly more invested into eating the sandwiches Laura made.

‘We can delete the Hydra compulsion’, Simmons said finally. ‘But if you wish, we could delete… everything.’

Bucky froze at that.

‘Everything you went through with Hydra.’

There was a heavy silence in the room after that, disrupted only by Bucky putting the plate of food gently on a table.

‘I’d advice against that’, Fitz said.

‘It’s not our job to give any personal advice’, Simmons snapped, startling them all.

‘No’, Bucky said, looking to Fitz. ‘Tell me.’

It took a few seconds, and Steve saw that Fitz’s right hand was shaking, even as he clenched it in a fist.

‘A team member turned out to be Hydra. And when Shield fell, he threw Jemma and me at the bottom of the ocean, in a med pod.’

She looked stricken at that, recovering quickly, but Steve still saw it.

‘We got out’, Fitz went on, ‘but my brain went without oxygen for too long. There was brain damage, and I… I couldn’t even speak for a while there. I’m better now, obviously, it’s been two years, but I still stumble upon words sometimes and-‘

‘It’s not the same’, Bucky interrupted.

‘No, it’s not’, Fitz nodded. ‘But.’, he took a deep breath. ‘I forgot some things. Little things, yeah, but I still… you know, I look at an object or I smell something, and I know it means _something_ to me, but I can’t figure out what. It’s frustrating.’

‘Fitz’, Simmons said softly, but he waved her off.

‘It won’t be the same’, he told Bucky, ‘but, I mean, come on. You’d be as you were in the 40s. Which, yeah, maybe it’s a good thing, but you’d wake up in a foreign world, not knowing anything that happened in the last 70 years. Technology, medicine, history, art…’, he smirked. ‘Captain America, the Avengers.’, he looked to Steve then. ‘I can’t believe that was easy.’

‘It wasn’t’, he agreed in a small voice, staring at Bucky, trying to read him, but unable to do so.

‘I remember everything’, Buck said, very subdued. ‘Every mission, every kill.’

‘It’s experience’, Fitz said, making Bucky turn a very angry look at him.

Fitz blinked. ‘Don’t glare at me like that.’, he said evenly. ‘It’s true. We’ve all been through various shitty situations. I was stuck on an alien planet with Hydra and the most powerful Inhuman at one point. Miss Maximoff made what I’m sure she considers the biggest mistake of her life two weeks ago. You and the Captain fought, repeatedly. Yes, it sucks. We all have innocent blood on our hands.’

He took a deep breath then, looking to Simmons briefly.

‘But everyone in this room is here because we want to save the world. One way or another. I’m not saying that’s what you should do.’

‘Nobody is saying that’, Sam said with authority.

‘But’, Fitz went on. ‘A person is defined by a series of events that happened to him, around him, to the people he loves. And it’s not going to be easy, to learn how to live with all the blood on your hands, of course it’s going to be hard, but… ‘

‘But I can do it?’, Bucky asked, sounding exhausted.

‘I’m pretty sure you can, yeah’, Fitz nodded. ‘Over time and with help. But I think that’s going to be easier than waking up in a world 70 years too old, with everyone but yourself knowing who the Winter Soldier is.’

Bucky swallowed thickly, and looked down at his hand.

‘Sergeant Barnes-‘, Simmons said, but he interrupted her.

‘Bucky. My name is Bucky.’

She smiled, kindly, going as far as crouching down in front of him, forcing him to look at her.

‘Bucky. This is your decision, and your decision only. Nobody else should have a say in it. Just know that whatever you decide, Fitz and I will do anything and everything we can to help you.’

‘Why?’, he breathed out, Steve barely heard him. ‘Why does everyone want to help me?’

‘Buck-‘, Steve tried, but Sam silenced him with a hand on his shoulder.

Bucky didn’t look away from Simmons.

‘As Fitz said, we want to save the world.’

‘I’m not the world’, Bucky argued.

Simmons threw him a look. ‘Of course not.’

Then she whispered something that Steve wasn’t supposed to hear, but most people didn’t know about his enhanced hearing.

‘But you’re Steve’s world’.

Bucky closed his eyes at that. ‘Not a good enough reason.’

Simmons hummed. ‘On a basic level then, we have the technology and there’s no reason why we shouldn’t help. Does that work better for you?’

Bucky rolled his eyes at that. ‘You’re not making a good pitch for this, doll, just so you know.’

It was Simmons’ turn to roll her eyes. ‘You are insufferable, sir.’

Bucky merely raised an eyebrow.

‘You’re also one of the superheroes we grew up with’, Simmons lifted her chin, ‘this is the best day of my life because I’m sitting in the same room with Captain America and Bucky Barnes. Seriously, this is going on my CV, and Fitz is dying to work on a new arm for you.’

‘That is true’, Fitz nodded, easily.

There was a pause. ‘You people are crazy’, Bucky finally said.

The two scientists just shrugged. Simmons got up and went back to Fitz’s side, where she easily linked their fingers together. _Oh_ , Steve thought. That explains some things.

And then Bucky was saying his name.

‘What am I going to do?’

‘Whatever you want’, was Steve’s quick response. ‘I’ll have your back either way.’

Bucky sighed. ‘Of course you will.’

Then he turned to Fitz and Simmons.

‘Just the Hydra compulsion’, he said strongly. ‘And I want to give input on the arm.’

Both of them smirked at that. Steve sighed, relieved, and when Bucky’s eyes locked with his, he smiled.

◦○⃝○◦

Steve was impressed with the Shield base of operation. And then he saw the SSR logo on a wall.

‘This was an old SSR facility’, Simmons explained. ‘We still have a lot of the archives. Reports signed by Agent Carter herself!’

She seemed excited about it, but Steve’s heart was in his throat.

‘I was at the funeral’, Simmons said next, lowering her voice. Stole a jet and a pilot. Coulson was furious, until I told him where I went.’

Steve didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything.

‘I visited her once’, Bucky startled him. ‘She thought it was still 1940 and we were supposed to go on a mission. Kept telling me to have your back because you were stupid in a fight.’

Steve had to smile at that.

‘I think’, Simmons said slowly, ‘that she would have been very happy that you two found each other again.’

‘Doll’, Bucky threw her a look. ‘You’re a Shield agent. Aren’t you supposed to have no emotions or personal entanglements?’

Simmons laughed at that, somewhat hysterically.

‘I kind of gave up on that illusion somewhere between my best friend telling me he was in love with me at the bottom of the ocean, spending three months undercover at Hydra and well, I guess those months on the alien planet inhabited by the evil being Hydra was founded on protecting helped a bit as well.’

Bucky closed his mouth with a pop. ‘You’re all insane.’

Simmons smirked. ‘Oh, just wait till you meet Daisy.’

She went off without another word, leaving Steve and Bucky staring after her.

‘What have I gotten myself into?’, Bucky asked.

It was a joke, though, Steve heard it.

‘Well’, he smiled, ‘can’t be worse than Hydra.’

Just then, there was a spark of electricity coming out of a room to their left.

‘Lincoln, no!’, a woman’s voice said. ‘That’s not fighting fair!’

‘You just vibrated my pants off!’, the male response came. ‘All’s fair now.’

Bucky and Steve shared a long look, amused and terrified still. Steve didn’t think he would ever be able to fully relax again, but this… was good. It was supposed to be good for Bucky.

Fitz came to get them then, all but yelling in their faces.

‘Captain Rogers, please ignore the idiot children we have around the base!’

A yelp came from the room, and the sound of something falling on training mats and then the door closed.

‘Come on’, Fitz rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll show you to your rooms.’

◦○⃝○◦

The next day was filled with Simmons and Lincoln running tests on Bucky, as Fitz spent the time pouring over a hologram of his arm socket.

He took it all in stride, but Steve knew him better. Buck was terrified and ready to bolt, and he could understand that, because he felt the same. But they didn’t run.

Because Simmons was a genius and a dork and her interactions with Fitz were hilarious and adorable. And every time Bucky’s mind would wonder off and he’d space out, Lincoln would bring him back with a spark of electricity between his fingers, snapped in front of Bucky’s eyes.

It frightened him at first, and Steve saw the chair, he could only imagine how horrible it must have been, but sooner rather than later, Bucky would only be annoyed with Lincoln. Called him Sparky and told him to stick his fingers in a socket.

Steve noticed that the other Shield agents kept their distance, even if he’d catch people staring over the lab glass every now and then. He was grateful for it, really, for the false sense of privacy, and he made a note to thank Coulson for it.

Coulson only met them once, before the procedure. He reminded Steve that he owed him his signature on the cards, and strongly shook Bucky’s hand, before showing him the shield he could deploy out of his fake one.

Bucky stared at it with wide eyes.

‘Steve doesn’t have his shield anymore.’

Coulson raised an eyebrow at him.

‘Howard made it. It was never mine to have, really. I left it with Tony.’

‘Dumb move’, Coulson said, but Steve just shrugged.

‘Fitz’, Bucky said strongly. ‘I want one.’

‘Me too’, Steve admitted, and they shared a look. Excited, somewhat, like when they were kids and went into the toy store.

‘I’ll allow it’, Coulson said, smugly, before taking his leave.

‘We’re ready’, Fitz said next, and Bucky lay down in the machine, letting himself be strapped on by Lincoln and Fitz.

‘We think it’s best if the Captain would do the talking’, Simmons said. ‘Because of your personal connection. Bucky, do you think that would be a good idea?’

He nodded, sighing deeply.

‘Captain’, Simmons turned to him, extending him a paper with instruction. ‘Do you know the trigger words?’

‘Yes’, he nodded.

‘How?’, Bucky asked.

‘T’Challa took the notebook from Zemo.’

Bucky grunted. ‘Let’s get this over with.’

Steve read through the instructions quickly, before putting the papers away. He spared a final look to Wanda and Lincoln, who were ready to provide backup if needed, a grateful look to Sam, who nodded strongly back, and a hesitant look to FitzSimmons, who responded with encouraging smiles and nods.

‘The trigger is a series of ten words’, Steve started by saying, sitting as close to Bucky as he could.

‘We’ll start with each of them, and it’s up to you to think of something else to relate them to. A memory, something good, a feeling, a scent, an object, an idea, anything. Alright?’

‘Yes’, Bucky said gravely, closing his eyes.

Simmons turned on the machine, and Bucky didn’t even flinch.

‘ _Longing_ ’, Steve started, the Russian rolling too easily off his tongue.

Bucky took a deep breath. ‘Mom’, he said, whispered really. ‘Yelling at us when we’d come home bleeding, cleaning our wounds and giving us hot, diluted coffee. ‘

‘ _Rusted_.’

‘The war. All the guns had rust on them. They scraped my fingers. Not your shield. Never your shield. It was always shiny.’

Steve blinked against the tears in his eyes.

‘ _Seventeen_ ’.

Bucky smiled at that, but it looked pained. ‘You were so sick on your birthday. I got you a sketchbook, but you were too tired to lift your crayon.’

‘We played hangman’, Steve said.

‘I beat your ass spectacularly’, Bucky smiled wider, his fist clenching until his knuckles were white.

‘ _Daybreak_ ’.

‘That sunrise in France. With Falsworth singing that stupid song about drinking and DumDum singing curse words over him.’

Steve had to take a deep breath before speaking again.

‘ _Furnace_ ’.

‘Peggy’, Bucky said, shocking Steve completely. ‘She burned so hot for you. She was so warm with us.’

Simmons put a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

‘ _Nine_.’

‘The clock in your mom’s kitchen. It was missing the nine and the three.’

‘ _Benign_.’

Bucky didn’t say anything for a long time, and Steve used the silence to wipe the tears that were falling down his face.

‘It means light, right?’, Bucky finally said.

‘Yes’, it was Wanda that answered. ‘Benign. Without gravity. Or something curable. Something without consequences.’

‘It’s used in medicine’, Simmons added. ‘To describe a foreign formation that doesn’t have cancer.’

‘Medicine, then.’, Bucky said, nodding slightly. There was sweat on his forehead. ‘So many diseases that can be cured now. Pills and vaccines. Living, not dying.’

‘ _Homecoming_ ’.

‘Becca’, Bucky’s voice shook. ‘When I came home from training camp, and she wrapped herself around me and didn’t let go for the entire night.’

‘ _One’._

‘Steve’, Bucky said. ‘There’s no one in the world like you.’

He couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his throat then. It made Bucky open his eyes. He nodded, urging him to go on.

‘ _Freight car_.’

‘I fell’, Bucky breathed out. ‘But before that, I held your shield. I fought by your side, together on that train. And it was… important.’

They just looked at each other, both of them crying.

It was Wanda by Steve’s side then, grabbing a hold of his fingers and squeezing them tightly.

‘Again’, she said strongly, and Bucky closed his eyes.

‘ _Longing_ ’.

‘Mom.’

‘ _Rusted._ ’

‘War.’

‘ _Seventeen_.’

‘Hangman.’

‘ _Daybreak’._

‘Sunrise.’

_‘Furnace.’_

‘Peggy.’

 _‘Nine_ ’.

‘Sarah.’

_‘Benign.’_

‘Life.’

_‘Homecoming.’_

‘Becca.’

 _‘One_ ’.

‘Steve.’

_‘Freight car.’_

‘Together.’

They went through the words a couple of more times. Steve kept picking up the pace, and it was getting harder for Bucky, it was clear. He was sweating, in pain, straining against the straps.

When Simmons instructed Bucky to stop saying the words, just think about them, Steve felt everybody in the room tensing.

He said the words in rapid succession, waiting for any sign of Bucky reverting to the Winter Soldier.

It didn’t come, but a scream of pain did. Still, Bucky gasped out a pleading ‘Again.’

So Steve said the words again, three more times in Russian and twice in English. With one final scream, Bucky passed out.

‘It’s fine’, Simmons was quick to say, shutting the machine off. ‘It’s to be expected, he’ll be alright.’

‘Did it work?’, Wanda asked, still holding Steve’s hand tightly.

‘I think so’, Simmons said, working on releasing Bucky from the restrains. ‘He’ll sleep for a while, we’ll know more when he wakes.’

It took Bucky 20 hours to wake, time in which Steve didn’t close an eye.

The first thing he did when he woke up was to grab a hold of Steve’s hand and demand he say the words.

He did, in English and Russian, and nothing happened.

‘I…’, Bucky gasped. ‘I’m okay?’

‘Yeah, Buck’, Steve breathed out, once again crying. ‘Yeah you are.’

Steve spent a long time with his best friend curled into his arms. Bucky didn’t shed a tear, but he didn’t let go of Steve either.

◦○⃝○◦

It took a couple of days for Bucky to recover. He slept a lot, ate little and didn’t leave his room. Steve was there more often than not, looking over Shield reports, for lack of anything better to do.

On day two, Simmons knocked on his door and offered to make him lunch. She also didn’t take no for an answer, so they had lunch with Fitz, the men doing anything Simmons told them to do, mostly chopping up vegetables.

Steve was very grateful for the fact that these two people weren’t star struck by him. Like Simmons said, they grew up with stories of Captain America, but that didn’t show. They talked easily, about this and that, easy stuff, and Steve actually enjoyed his lunch that day. He never thought he’d be the one to crave some social interaction, but here he was.

‘We should get Sergeant Barnes out more’, Simmons said at one point.

‘I’ve been waiting for him to get better so I can start working on the arm’, Fitz added.

‘I’ll talk to him about it’, Steve said. ‘He’s still… tired.’

‘Hmmm’, Simmons hummed. ‘Lincoln and I thought it would be best to let him sleep it off organically, but it’s been four days.’

‘What do you suggest?’, Steve frowned.

‘Vitamins, mostly. Energizing smoothies.’

Steve pulled a face.

‘He needs to get out of his room, Cap’, Simmons said in an understanding tone. ‘Granted, there’s not a lot to do on base, but I believe it’s going to be good for him to be around people.’

‘It’s not’, Steve snorted. ‘On short term, it’s going to be horrible for him to be around strangers.’

‘But on the long run’, Simmons tilted her head.

‘Yeah’, Steve sighed. ‘You’re right.’

‘Of course I am’, she didn’t miss a beat. ‘When he wakes up, come to the lab. I’ll set him up with vitamins.’

Turned out Bucky was already awake when Steve went back to check on him. He was freshly showered, too, wearing a pair of jeans and a Shield branded tank top.

‘You didn’t bring food?’, were Bucky’s first words, that made Steve roll his eyes.

‘How about we go to the kitchen and fix you up something?’

Bucky frowned.

‘And after that, we’re visiting Doctor Simmons in her lab’, Steve went on, ‘so that she can start you up on a course of vitamins and energizing stuff.’

‘Stuff?’, Bucky narrowed his eyes.

Steve shrugged. ‘You should get out more.’

‘We’re underground’, Bucky pointed out.

Steve just glared at him.

‘Fine’, Bucky finally sighed. ‘If the doctor recommends _socialization_ …’

‘You know’, Steve piped up. ‘She’s not that kind of doctor. She has two PhDs in biochemistry.’

‘But I trust her’, Bucky said without missing a beat, shocking even himself.

‘Yeah’, Steve nodded slowly. ‘Her and Fitz, Lincoln, Coulson. They seem pretty trustworthy.’

‘We wouldn’t be here if they weren’t’, Bucky said, frowning.

Before Steve got to answer, Bucky’s stomach growled. He laughed, as Bucky looked down at the traitorous organ, and they made their way back to the kitchen. Simmons put the leftovers of their lunch in a container with Steve’s name in the fridge, so Bucky quickly ate that.

When they got to the laboratory, Simmons and Fitz were arguing about… cat liver. Steve didn’t think he wanted to know what that was about.

But the moment they noticed that Bucky was there, they stopped and instantly, both of them turned excited. It was… it freaked even Steve out, the way they kinda raced to get to Bucky’s side first, and the way they were smiling at him.

Bucky looked pretty freaked out, too. But then Simmons started running through her medicine cabinet, writing down instructions on a pad, and Fitz went to a computer, bringing up what was clearly the specks for Bucky’s new arm.

And then, they were lost. For the next hours, Fitz and Bucky were completely lost in their little bubble, working on the specs. Bucky kept asking questions and Fitz answered them easily, dumbing it down enough for not engineers to understand. And at one point, Bucky started suggesting things, things he wanted the arm to do or have, and Fitz took each and every one of the into account. He thought about it, started drawing and writing equations right then, and when he couldn’t figure the solution out easily, he promised Bucky he’d think about it.

They also insulted each other. Steve and Simmons were worried about that, at first, but it quickly became apparent that it wasn’t a problem. They were just… bantering. Having fun, Steve would even say. He was so greatful for it, for Fitz.

Because this man was not only helping Bucky with the arm, but he wasn’t treating him with gloves, like Sam and Wanda did, he didn’t have an ounce of pity towards Buck, like Steve found himself showing, and Fitz did not shy away from the elephant in the room.

‘Are you sure you don’t want lasers? They’d kill people easily.’

‘Fitz, I don’t kill people anymore.’

‘But-‘

‘Does Coulson have lazers?’

‘Well, no, but he doesn’t really go out that much.’

Steve just… sat there. And watched them. He read a couple of reports, but Fitz and Bucky were distracting. It was okay, though, cause Simmons seemed to have the same problem.

When they guys seemed to be done, Simmons was staring at Bucky’s ass.

‘Bucky’, she said sweetly, ‘how are your muscles doing?’

All the men frowned at her.

‘Uh, they’re still there?, Bucky said uncertainly, flexing the muscle of his right arm.

‘Obviously’, Simmons said in a tone that made Fitz glare at her. ‘I just meant to say that maybe you should be working them.’

Bucky opened his mouth. Closed it. ‘You’re not coming on to me, are you?’

Simmons snorted. ‘No, I’m telling you to go to the gym.’

There was a pause. ‘Where is the gym?’

‘I’ll show you’, Fitz said, and off they went, with a brief reminder from Simmons to Bucky, to take his meds.

◦○⃝○◦

They woke up in the morning pretty early on, and after a quick breakfast, they made their way to the gym.

May was the only one there, doing some sort of yoga. They didn’t talk, but she nodded their way.

Steve ran 20 miles on a treadmill, Bucky only 17, which he insisted was because of his missing arm.

The teasing came so naturally, Steve thought he was dreaming. How can this be real life, how can he be in 2016, when he felt just as he felt in 1930?

Things were different, sure, he was different and so was Bucky, but the feeling in his chest, the love, the devotion, the need to protect… that was exactly the same.

‘Hey Cap, wanna spar?’, a female voice interrupted him.

Steve turned around, eyes meeting a young woman, with shoulder-length hair and a slight figure. He should have politely declined, asked the agent her name. Instead, he just gave her a once over and told her that it probably wasn’t a good idea.

May snorted.

The young woman raised an eyebrow. ‘Try me.’

And before Steve got to answer, she attacked. A punch to the face, which he easily blocked, and a foot to his ribs that he blocked, sending her into a twirl, which she landed gracefully from.

‘Okay then’, Steve said, moving to the training mats and adopting a proper fighting stance. ‘Come on then, miss.’

She grinned before attacking.

She was good, he had to admit, but he was, well. He was Captain America. He stopped her attacks and he didn’t want to hurt her, so he pulled his punches. She seemed frustrated by it.

‘Cap, come on.’, she growled at one point.

He didn’t answer, just tried to swipe her legs under her. He was unsuccessful, but from the sidelines, Bucky yelled a pretty rude ‘give it to her, Steve!’. He did.

In 10 seconds, the young lady was flat on the ground and Steve was keeping her there with his fingers around her throat.

‘Fuck’, she breathed out. But she also wrapped her fingers around his wrist and then, the strangest thing happened. He felt something going through his entire body, like his bones were moving. It wasn’t hurtful, exactly, just incredibly uncomfortable.

He stepped back and stared at the young woman, who was grinning.

‘You’re Daisy Johnson’, he said, panting slightly.

‘Nice to meet you’, she nodded, accepting the hand he gave her. ‘This was fun, we should do it again.’

‘Hell no’, Steve said with feeling. ‘That was the weirdest thing that I ever felt, and that’s saying something, considering, you know, I grew a foot in seconds.’

‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’, she said, before turning to look at Bucky. ‘What about you, Buckaroo?’

He narrowed his eyes. ‘I’m not exactly at full power yet.’

‘Fine’, she pouted, before she was promptly attacked by May.

Ten minutes later, Steve had to drag Bucky away.

‘Now I get why Clint seemed afraid of her’, he said. ‘But I could probably take her.’

‘Buck, you could probably take everyone.’

‘Except for you.’

Steve paused at that. ‘It’s pretty even, I think.’

Bucky rolled his eyes, and mumbled something about idiots under his breath.   

◦○⃝○◦

It took about a week for Fitz to make the arm. Each day, Bucky would spend a couple of hours by his side, just watching him work or giving input, every now and then.

Steve spent those times reading reports, but this time, Simmons gave him access to the vault that kept the old SSR files. He was hurting himself, probably, going over Peggy’s reports just because they were _hers_ , but it made Steve forget she was gone, for a while.

The rest of the day he spent with Bucky. They cooked and ate together, they went to the gym together, they watched documentaries in the evenings or read side by side on a couch.

Buck would always be the one to fall asleep first, and Steve would shamelessly just watch him for a while, just to make sure he wasn’t having a nightmare, Steve would tell himself, before he’d go to his room and sleep. 

On the day Fitz said the arm would be ready, everything was subdued. Steve made them breakfast and took it to Bucky’s room, where they ate sitting on the floor, their backs against the bed.

They didn’t go to the gym, they didn’t open the tv, they didn’t read or speak or anything. They just sat there, side by side, their shoulders brushing with each breath.

‘Why am I so scared of this?’, Bucky finally asked, half an hour before Fitz was waiting for them in the lab.

Steve couldn’t help but smile. ‘Because it’s something good.’

He felt Bucky’s eyes on him, but Steve couldn’t look back at him as he spoke.

‘It’s something good for you, Buck, and… it’s been a long while since you had that. And this… it’s just the first step, really. I think this’ll be the easy part in your, you know, recovery.’

‘When did you get to smart?’

Steve had to turn at that, and see that Bucky was regarding him with a hesitant look, but a smirk on his lips.

‘Told you’, Steve smiled. ‘You took all the stupid with you.’

Bucky rolled his eyes at that, but he also got up from the floor.

‘Come on, let’s bug Fitz.’

◦○⃝○◦

Steve was still staring at the gorgeous arm when Fitz spoke.

‘This is going to hurt.’

Bucky’s response was to snort. ‘Can’t be worse than Hydra, right?’

‘Well, no’, Fitz said. ‘The pain levels should not be higher than the ones you felt the first time they attached the arm.’

‘Okay’, Bucky said easily, like he was agreeing to going out for a cup of coffee.

Even Fitz paused at that, but it was Simmons that made her way to Bucky’s side, once again crouching down in front of his chair. He didn’t say anything, didn’t comment on it, didn’t flinch when she put her hands on his knee to steady herself, Bucky just watched her, seemingly amused.

‘You don’t need to act like this isn’t important’, Simmons said strongly, making the smile fall off Bucky’s face.

‘This is’, he said slowly. ‘I know this is important.’

‘Then act like it’, Simmons leveled him with a look. ‘Scared, excited, apprehensive, mad.’

Bucky didn’t say anything, he just kept blinking, slowly, at her.

‘In this past week, the only time I saw you show any emotion was when Steve made you grilled cheese.’

‘That’s not true’, Buck said. ‘Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.’

‘And that is my point’, Simmons insisted. ‘I know you have emotions, of course you do. But it’s the fact that you’re hiding them that’s scaring me.’

Bucky frowned. ‘You fixed me, I won’t turn into the Soldier again.’

‘That’s not what I’m talking about’, Simmons said a lot softer than before. ‘I’m not scared of you, I’m scared _for_ you.’

At his shocked look, the woman smiled.

‘Bucky, do you know what PTSD is?’

He nodded, sparing a look to Steve, who was the one to explain the concept.

‘What you’ve been through, what you must be fighting against now… I’m not a therapist, but I do know that bottling things up like this isn’t healthy. And that’s the point, isn’t it? That should be your goal. To get healthy.’

It took a few beats for Bucky to answer, and when he did, he wasn’t looking at Simmons.

‘This doesn’t scare me, the procedure. Or the fact that I’ll have to hide for the rest of my life. The way people look at me doesn’t scare me either, that they’re terrified of me. What scares me is the fact that I won’t ever be able to stop looking over my shoulder. I keep waiting for…’

When he didn’t move on, Steve too a small step forward. ‘Waiting for what?’

Bucky looked at him. ‘Hydra to come and take me back.’

‘That is not happening’, Fitz said harshly. ‘The ATCU destroyed the Hydra facilities all over the world. Even if there are still operatives left, they don’t have enough power over you, especially not with this bad boy.’

Fitz pointed to the arm, and Steve saw Simmons roll her eyes.

‘What Simmons is trying to say, Bucky’, Fitz tilted his head, ‘is that you need to talk about your trauma and feelings, probably with Cap, preferably with a professional. But now, would you please quit your whining and let me get to work?’

Steve opened his mouth, but he didn’t get to say anything, because Bucky snorted.

‘You’re an awful little grump, aren’t you?’

Fitz blinked, before pointing to Simmons. ‘She loves me so I don’t care about what anybody else thinks of me.’

Simmons blushed at that, smiling slightly, and it was adorable, it made both Steve and Bucky chuckle.

Bucky stood up, though, easily helping Simmons up as well.

‘Let’s get this over it. I need two hands to kick Steve’s ass at that Mario Kart thing.’

◦○⃝○◦

The scream Bucky let out was horrible, but it wasn’t a long one. There were tears streaming down his face, but there was also a look of awe, as he looked down at his new left arm, as he moved his fingers and joints.

‘Does it feel alright?’, Fitz asked, and Bucky was quick to nod.

‘It feels light’.

‘So no pain on the joints?’, Simmons insisted. ‘Shoulder, ribs?’

‘No’, Bucky shook his head. ‘It feels… human.’

Fitz smirked at that, and looked to Steve. ‘Cap, come here.’

He did, and Fitz boldly grabbed a hold of his hand and put it on Bucky’s new arm.

Buck gasped. ‘I can feel it.’

‘Of course you can’, Fitz said, somewhat amused, but still in a superior voice. ‘There are millions of sensors all over the exterior, connected directly to your nervous system. Not only are you able to feel anything touching it, but’, he pointed to a small control panel, ‘you have multiple settings. More or less feeling, more or less strength, blablabla. We’ll run over it once you get a bit more used to it.’

In a rush of movement, Bucky was up and had Fitz in his arms. For a second, Steve thought that he attacked, but it wasn’t that. No, Bucky was hugging Fitz.

Fitz, who was blushing and stammering out half words, hands frozen at his side. Simmons was laughing under her breath, and Steve laughed too, when Fitz complained about the lack of oxygen.

◦○⃝○◦

The next few days were filled with tests. In the lab, in the gym, in various workshops and different rooms, where FitzSimmons set up a vast array of tests.

The arm worked brilliantly, and Bucky loved it. He never said so, but Steve could read it in his eyes. It was the same look Bucky used to get when he’d had enough spare cash to buy a comic book when they were kids, the same look he got after some of his dates. Happy, excited, _content_.

When Bucky pushed the button for the skin-like cloaking for the first time, he started crying. Steve didn’t hug him, no matter how much he wanted to, because he knew Bucky wanted to keep looking at his flesh-like arm. So all Steve did was wrap their fingers together, and let Bucky’s head rest on his shoulder as he wept.

◦○⃝○◦

‘You know you don’t have to leave, right?’, Fitz asked for the billionth time.

‘It’s not like we don’t have the space’, Simmons added. ‘And Shield could always use someone with your experience.’

Steve smiled, kindly, looking to Buck. ‘Your call, man.’

He shook his head. ‘Sorry, FitzSimmons. But uh… I need to be healthy, right? It’s not very healthy living in an underground secret base.’

‘Fair enough’, Fitz said after a beat, extending a hand.

They both shook it, and then Simmons kissed their cheeks. They had to lower their heads quite a bit, and Fitz was watching them through narrowed eyes, but Bucky was smiling very softy at the doctor.

‘You can always visit’, she said.

Bucky smirked. ‘Awh, shucks, doc. You do like me!’

Simmons giggled. ‘I sure do, Serge’!. But in my defense, I have liked you since I was six.’

Bucky shook his head, chuckling under his breath. ‘I’m pretty sure we’ll see each other again. Such is the world.’

FitzSimmons nodded gravely at that, but they were smiling as Steve and Bucky made their way out of the base.

◦○⃝○◦

They settled in the Midwest, into a very small town in Iowa, the kind of town that had a Walmart but no Starbucks. They didn’t even live in town, they found a small house 15 miles away from it.

Steve was thankful for Daisy, who hacked into his account and redirected all the money into a new one, completely untraceable. It meant that he was able to buy the house with no issues.

Well, Steve Matthews bought the house, but whatever.

There were easy days and hard days.

On the hard days, Bucky woke up from nightmares. He screamed, he cried, he wanted to run. On those days, Bucky didn’t speak, he barely ate, Steve had to wrestle him in the shower. Bucky spent those days in the grass behind the house, on his back, with his eyes closed and fingers idly playing with the leaves and dirt under them.

But on the good days, they were connected at the hip. Like back at Shield, they cooked together and ate together. But now, they also ran together on the deserted road to town. Once there, they’d have coffee and a piece of pie at the diner, and run back home. Sometimes, they’d fix up some thing or another in the house. Other times, they’d binge watch a show or read or watch documentaries in the hopes of catching up to the world.

Sometimes, the good days turned bad, because sometimes, Bucky wanted to talk. It was good for him, Steve knew this, but it was still a hard thing to do. Of course, Steve listened. To every gruesome murder Buck did for Hydra, to every way he endured the torture and pain. Steve listened.

And it paid off, because after those days, Bucky always had a good one.

◦○⃝○◦

‘You should call that blonde’, Bucky told him over breakfast one morning, making Steve freeze.

‘What blonde? Clint has brown hair, Scott too. Wanda’s-‘

‘I meant Sharon’, Bucky said, a confused expression on his face.

‘Oh.’

Bucky was still looking at him expectedly.

‘I shouldn’t’, Steve finally said. ‘What you saw, that was nice and all, but uh… it was too late.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah’, there was no hesitation on Steve’s part. ‘Plus, it’s a bit weird, isn’t it? She’s Peggy’s niece.’

Bucky pulled a face at that, nodding along. ‘Then you should call Sam.’

‘I’m not kissing Sam’, was Steve’s reaction, to which Bucky laughed.

Steve threw an empty water bottle at his head, but Bucky just ducked it, laughing all the while.

◦○⃝○◦

Sam came with a lot of alcohol and even more insults, all directed at Bucky. Steve just let them have at it, because it was all in good fun.

Steve went to sleep to the sound of the two of them yelling “I hate you!” instead of a goodnight, and woke up to the sound of them fighting over how Steve drank his coffee.

He liked it way too much, probably.

◦○⃝○◦

‘So, guys, how are your love lives coming along?’, Sam innocently asked at one point.

Steve scrunched up his nose. Bucky waved with his right hand.

Sam let it drop.

◦○⃝○◦

They have been in Iowa for about four months when there was a quinjet landing behind the house.

Thankfully, it wasn’t Stark, but FitzSimmons.

‘Remember how I said Shield could use your expertise?’, Simmons started.

‘We really need your help.’, Fitz added.

‘Please’, Simmons smiled.

‘King T’Challa gave us two shields with your name on them.’, Fitz pointed to the quinjet. ‘I designed suits, too.’

Steve and Bucky shared a wordless conversation, in which Steve made it clear that it was Bucky’s decision, and Bucky made it clear that he was ready.

So they went along with FitzSimmons, got into their fancy new suits (sleek black, with a barely visible Shield logo), picked up their brand new shields (the vibranium unpainted, except for a small star on each of them, blue for Bucky, white for Steve), and listened to Coulson debriefing them over coms.

Before they got off the quinjet, ready to fight an army of mutated animal-human hybrids, Bucky grabbed a hold of his hand, twining their fingers together.

‘How angry would you be with me if I kissed you right now?’

Steve sucked in a breath, looking at Bucky. He was staring straight ahead, but he was biting the inside of his cheek, like he always did when he was nervous.

He wasn’t going to lie to Buck. He was never going to lie to Buck. So Steve smirked.

‘Very.’

It made Bucky turn to look at him, with a horrified expression. He wanted to pull his fingers away, but Steve didn’t let him, tightening his hold on them.

‘Cause you waited until we’re about to dive into a life threatening situation.’, Steve explained, the 'you idiot' implied by his tone.

Bucky sucked in a harsh breath, and Steve’s smile widened.

‘Should’ve done it at breakfast’, he winked.

‘Punk’, Bucky breathed out. ‘Just for that, you’re not getting a kiss right now.’

‘Oh’, Steve grinned, smugly. ‘But I will be getting a kiss later.’

‘Just so you know’, Fitz’s voice interrupted whatever Bucky wanted to say, ‘your coms are on, broadcasting more or less to every Shield agent, and Daisy is recording Coulson’s face right now. For prosperity. And future blackmail.’

Steve blushed deeply, and Bucky wasn’t doing much better. Still, they were holding hands.

‘Mistakes were made’, Bucky finally said, ‘admittedly. But they’re mine to make, so leave them be, agents, and focus on the mission.’

With that, he let go of Steve’s hand, winked at him, and threw himself out of the quinjet.

Fitz yelped. ‘Was he wearing a parachute?’

‘No, he was not’, Steve laughed, following Bucky through the skies. Without a parachute, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dog and Pony Show = A dismissive term for a very small circus.


	31. Steve/Bucky: The Winter Soldier vs the cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five moments that made Bucky … not hate winter so much.
> 
> In a world where Civil War didn't happen and they're all happily chillin at the Avengers facility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sim, what the hell are you doing writing Christmas fics right now? It's almost summer!   
> I don't know man, I don't control these things. Really. This makes no sense.

Winter in New York was always an experience, Bucky knew this.

Bucky lived this, years of days spent with his teeth chattering as he worked his ass off at the docs to have enough money for rent, wood for fire and medicine for Steve. Years of nights spent sharing a bed with Stevie, small Stevie who never could get warm during the winter, who could barely breathe most nights, who plastered his body against Bucky’s in hopes of a moment of warmth.

Bucky hated winter in New York. The cold got so bad it made its way under his skin, the slush that drowned the streets and made Bucky never have dry socks, the constant need to drink a glass (or five) of whisky to get his blood flowing, the way New Yorkers always went insane when they were covered in snow.

Bucky hated winter in New York, and the war, Austria and the Alps, it made him absolutely despise winter.

Now… it was later. Years, decades later. So many things have changed, he was changed to his core… And Bucky still hated winter with all his soul.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

The temperature was starting to drop, drastically. There wasn’t any snow yet, but Bucky could smell it in the air. That’s why he spent most of his days in the warm safety of the Avengers facility, glaring out the window.

When Natasha announced that they were going out that night, he wanted to protest. But in true Natasha fashion, he wasn’t allowed.

So he bundled up, put a hoodie over a Henley and met Natasha in the lobby. He was surprised, to see that she was the only one there, because Bucky assumed this will be an Avengers outing.

‘We’re bonding, Barnes’, she grinned upon seeing his hesitation.

He… really didn’t find it in himself to argue with her. There was no point to it, whatever Natasha wanted, she got.

And apparently, she wanted to take him to a gay bar.

There was a show that night, a drag show. Natasha took the time in the car to explain to Bucky what drag queens were, and even though he scolded his expression into a neutral one, he… was freaking out.

He had a sense of _wrong, so wrong, abort!_ , but he pushed it down. Accommodating to this century was important, as Steve and everyone else kept telling him, and Bucky was more than willing to be normal in this world.

Well. As normal as he could.

So Bucky put on a brave face and held the door open for Natasha, letting her grab a hold of his hand as they made their way to the back of the bar, sitting at a booth close to the stage.

She ordered for them, hot chocolate with rum. It came in a tall glass, with an abundance of whipped cream and a shiny pink straw.

‘Why are we here?’, Bucky asked before taking a sip of his drink. It was surprisingly good.

Natasha smiled at him. ‘You need to get out more, and I really wanted to see the show.’

That was a lie, Bucky could see right through it. He didn’t comment on it, though. Instead he raised an eyebrow.

‘Really, the show has great reviews.’, Natasha shrugged. ‘Should be fun.’

Bucky doubted it.

An hour later he was at his third drink and there were three different drag queens on the stage, doing some sort of modern day Romeo and Juliette.

Bucky couldn’t look away. Everything was so… much. The hair, the clothes, the makeup. Good god, the makeup.

It was exquisite.  

Two more drinks later, Bucky found that the sense of wrongness he felt earlier in the night was gone. He was really having fun, laughing along to the jokes of the performers, marveling in their ability to stay up on those high heels, to look so good in tight sequin dresses and corsets.

Natasha was laughing her ass off, but Bucky wasn’t sure if it was at his expense or because of the show.

Probably at his expense, though. Bucky knew that his face was stupid right now, awe evident.

There was a moment in which the drag queens went throughout the bar, chatting to patrons and creating a ruckus. Their table was the last stop of the one queen called Allegra. She was wearing a bright red leather outfit, with fishnet stockings, light blonde hair and red glitter on her eyelids and lips.

She called Bucky gorgeous, ran a long nail down the side of his face. He didn’t even flinch, blaming it on the rum.

Allegra made a joke or two on his expense, but Bucky didn’t mind. He rolled his eyes good naturally, called her “doll” and complimented her legs.

As she left, she took his glass.

‘Hey!’, he yelled. ‘You did not just steal my drink!’

Allegra turned to him with a grin. ‘Of course not, sweetheart. But I’m cold and you wouldn’t want me to die of hypothermia, would you?’

Bucky grumbled under his breath, but sat back down. As the show went on, Natasha wordlessly handed him a bottle of water.

When the show was over and they made their way outside, Bucky realized that he might be a little bit drunk. He also realized that it was snowing.

‘Oh no’, he whined. ‘No, New York, no.’

Natasha put a hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles.

‘Come on, Bucky, it wasn’t so bad.’

‘No, it was fun’, he nodded. ‘Thank you, but it’s snowing. I _hate_ snowing.’

She laughed at that, and they didn’t move out of the way as the drag queens started pouring out. They all had jackets over their costumes, and they were walking in those goddamn heels through the snow, and it was windy but their hair stayed in place and Bucky couldn’t wrap his head around it all. It must be magic.

Natasha gently dragged him to the car and they were silent all the way back to the facility. Steve was waiting in the common room, and he took one look at Bucky, before turning to glare at Natasha.

‘What did you do?’

Natasha snorted. ‘Introduced him to the wonderful world of drag queens.’

Steve tilted his head. ‘Wonderful?’

Bucky felt the need to answer. ‘Those galls, they’re superheroes, Steve. We couldn’t even stand in those heels, and they walk in them and dance in them and one of the girls, she did this yoga move-‘

He kept talking, as Natasha giggled in the background and Steve guided Bucky to his room.

Steve didn’t bother making him change into pajamas, but he did burry him under a couple of fluffy blankets, for which Bucky was thankful. He fell asleep before he could tell him, though.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

When the temperatures hit freezing point, Bucky refused to even go outside for a run with Steve. He didn’t seem to mind, knowing how much Bucky hated this sort of weather. The others, though, they didn’t.

And they all guilt tripped him into going with them to a skating ring, of all things. Well, not all of the Avengers, just Clint and Sam, mostly.

Natasha and Wanda joined them, and Steve actually seemed excited. At least Tony made sure they’d be the only ones there, Bucky thought.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to skate, cause he did. It was just that he had three sweaters on and a thick wool trench coat, gloves and wool socks… and he was still freezing.

Still, he put on the rented skates and did a couple of quick laps to get his blood flowing, even if the rest of his friends were still mucking about on the sidelines.

And then Clint started chasing him. Bucky fell into it, screaming insults at the archer and increasing his speed every time Clint insulted him right back. It was a clear draw between them.

‘Okay’, Clint panted, hands on his knees. ‘I’m still better than you, and I can prove it.’

Bucky snorted. ‘Go on then! Please break your neck while doing it.’

Clint scoffed, but he also made his way to the center of the ice ring. He had enough speed to… jump.

Bucky stared in shock and Clint lifted himself off the ice, twirled three times in the air and landed perfectly, on one foot. Clint kept at it for a while, complicated jumps and pirouettes that seemed just as good as the ones Wanda liked to watch on tv.

When Clint was done, he skated back to Bucky, a shit eating grin on his face. And Bucky, well… He was sitting down on the ice, staring at Clint in shock.

‘You win’, Bucky breathed out. ‘That was beautiful.’

‘Yes I am’, Clint didn’t even miss a beat. But he also extended a hand for Bucky to take, which he did, and after Clint pulled him up, he didn’t let go.

He arranged Bucky in a dancing position, against his protests, and they danced together for a while, as the rest of the team catcalled and whistled from the sidelines.

When Clint twirled Bucky around, he stumbled and fell, pushing both him and Clint to the other side of the skating ring. On their way they collided with someone else, and Bucky could recognize that yelp anywhere. And sure enough, when he opened his eyes, Steve was sprawled half on top of him and half on top of Clint.

‘Are you hurt?’, Steve asked, concern evident, not only by the way he dug his fingers into Bucky’s neck.

Bucky started laughing, pretty hysterically. ‘I’m cold’, he finally said. ‘Really fucking cold.’

Steve took him back home, once again wrapping him in fluffy blankets.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

It was mid December when Sam asked Bucky if he wanted to go Christmas shopping with him. He accepted, even if he already got all the gifts he needed to.

But the facility was crowded, Pepper arranging some big ass party. For once, Bucky was glad to go out.

He followed Sam around the city, thankful that he was a smart person that already thought about what he wanted to get, so they didn’t wonder aimlessly around the shops, Sam knew exactly where to go and what to buy.

At one point, they went to one of those build your own teddy stores, where Sam got a bunch of gift cards for his nieces. Bucky’s eyes fell on a display of already made teddies, and he stared, because he was one of them.

There was a teddy bear wearing the type of jacket he used to wear in the war, which had a small rifle in its hand and a mask over its face. He remembers that mask. He remembers throwing it into Howards’ face and swearing on his life he was never ever going to wear it. … He filed that under another thing  the history books got massively wrong.

And of course the Bucky teddy was next to the Captain America one. … Steve’s teddy was cuter, he had to admit.

‘Would you like one, Sergeant Barnes?’, a store clerk said.

He turned to stare at her. And then he thought about the box of expensive paints he brought for Steve, the stack of different papers and sketchbooks, and he thought about how … impersonal it all was. Steve deserved more than that, didn’t he?

‘I’d like to make one’, Bucky said. ‘Uh, update it.’

The young woman had an evil glint in her eyes. ‘Oh yeah, this is so happening!’

It was a blur after that. But they had the store for themselves, just the young woman milling around them, helping and explaining how to do things.

Sam made a teddy too, for Natasha, even if he already got her a pair of earrings. It was an obnoxious thing, bright pink with glitter and gems everywhere. It looked … fucking terrifying, and Sam kept cackling manically.

Bucky’s teddy was better. It was a simple thing, light brown, extra fluffy. Its left arm was fully covered in a piece of silver fabric, and he sewed a red star on it too, replicating his own arm as well as he could. The teddy was wearing a simple black tank top (that Sam admitted was Bucky’s signature look), with Cap’s shield in the middle. Because of course.

Bucky wasn’t much without Cap’s shield, without Steve. That was the whole point of this, wasn’t it?

The teddy didn’t have the Bucky mask on, but he sewed thin pieces of black material under its eyes, to replicate the war paint he still wore in the field.

He liked how it turned out, it was pretty adorable.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

It was close to 5AM when Bucky woke up. The storm outside is what woke him up, actually, the snow hitting the window with an ominous sound.

He glared at the window.

‘Sergeant Barnes’, Friday’s voice came through. ‘Good morning. Miss Maximoff is cooking… breakfast, if you’d like to join her.’

It wasn’t like he was going back to sleep anytime soon.

The kitchen smelled incredible, and there were already 10… things on the bar. They looked like bread, a long rectangle, but somehow, Bucky knew they were sweet.

Wanda had her hands deep into a bowl, kneading dough. Her hair was messily piled on top of her head, she was wearing sweat pants and a shirt that was clearly Clint’s (the purple bullseye gave it away), there was sweat on her forehead and she was singing a Russian carol under her breath.

She grinned when she saw him, though, and she washed her hands before moving quickly around the kitchen.

Bucky sat down at the table, trying his best not to shiver, the cold of the morning sweeping into his bones. He should make some coffee, he thought, but he wasn’t going to get up anytime soon.

Then Wanda was there, wrapping a fluffy pink blanket around his shoulders. It felt nice, so he hummed his thanks, and she chuckled softly, running her fingers through his hair, putting it behind his ear, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

And then she brought him a glass of warm milk and a few slices of… that bread thing.

It was a sort of cake, probably a simple dough, but it was filled with swirls of chocolate and walnuts and Turkish delight.

Wanda explained that it was something traditional from her side of Europe, usually made for Christmas and Easter. That the boys liked it, last Christmas.

Bucky took a tentative bite, and his eyes grew wide, staring at Wanda.

She smiled expectedly at him, and Bucky was quick to swallow.

‘This is delicious’, he said, before taking another bite.

By the time Steve came into the kitchen, Bucky ate an entire cake all by himself.

Steve barely spared him a look, though, he went straight to Wanda, hugging her tightly, and quickly kissing her cheeks and forehead and eyelids about a bazillion times, just like he used to kiss Bucky's sister on her birthday. When he was finally done, Wanda was red as a tomato, hiding her face into the crook of his neck.

‘I love you’, Steve said strongly. ‘You are the absolute best.’

She pushed him away, laughing. ‘Leave me alone and get to eating.’

‘But I do’, Steve pouted, playfully. ‘My heart beats for yours and-‘

Wanda threw a handful of flower at Steve’s face, making him stop. He didn’t seem to mind.

And when he came and sat down next to Bucky, a cake and a gallon of milk by his side, he stole half of Bucky’s blanket and wrapped it around himself. He didn’t mind.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

The Avengers exchanging Christmas presents was a crazy, chaotic thing, filled with yelling, uncomfortably long hugs, a lot of alcohol and a lot of wrapping paper thrown to the floor.

Bucky was overwhelmed, by realizing just how much this people cared for him, about how thoughtful they were with his presents.

Everything faded into the background as Bucky thought about… all the things he’s been through. All the things he missed about his New York, all the things he still had to learn about this New York. All the horrible things he did with Hydra and all the lovely things he did with the Avengers. How much they’ve helped, how much Steve has helped.

Steve, good god, _Steve_.

Bucky would be nothing without Steve. He’d probably be dead in a ditch, by his own hand nonetheless. But he wasn’t, because Steve took him in, Steve got him doctors and nagged at him to be healthy, as healthy as possible. Steve gave him a purpose, fighting alongside the Avengers, doing good for the world.

At the moment Bucky felt like he was going to cry, he was startled out of it by a sudden pressure on his legs. Looking to the side, he saw Steve lounging on the couch next to him, his legs casually thrown in Bucky’s lap.

Looking around, tuning back in to his surroundings, Bucky saw that most of the people cleared out. Pepper and Tony were gone, so were Vision, Wanda and Rhodey, Sam and Natasha were just leaving. Bruce was snoring in an armchair, and after Kate wrapped him up in a blanket, she and Clint left too, with a wink thrown towards Bucky and Steve’s direction.

Steve poked his thigh with his toe. When Bucky looked to him, he pouted.

‘You didn’t give me my Christmas present.’

Bucky snorted. ‘You haven’t either.’

‘I’ve been waiting for you!’, Steve insisted, a playful spark in his eyes. ‘It’s in my room. We could watch a movie. There’s a whole bunch of Christmas movies we missed.’

Bucky scrunched up his nose. ‘Your room’s next to Stark's. I really don’t wanna know if Pepper’s a screamer.’

Steve had a disgusted look on his face, understandably so. ‘I’ll meet you in your room?’

‘Sure’, Bucky nodded. Steve got up and he was gone in a flash.

He didn’t even get to think about what he wanted to say, because Steve was very quick to make his way into Bucky’s quarters.

He was grinning somewhat manically, but that playful glint was still in his eyes. Steve all but ran to Bucky’s bedroom, pausing only to grab his hand and drag him along.

Captain America made himself comfortable in Bucky’s bed, messing up the carefully made covers, and he was grinning, as he threw a box to Bucky.

He only caught it because of the metal arm. The box was quite heavy, so Bucky’s instinct was to be careful with it.

He huffed, faking annoyance, and sat next to Steve, their backs to the headboard. Bucky took his time opening the box, just because he felt Steve growing more and more annoyed next to him.

On top of the box was a very soft, very warm, probably very expensive sweater. It wasn’t black, like most of Bucky’s clothes were nowadays. It was a dark burgundy color, with just a hint of pink underneath. He loved it immensely, surprisingly so.

‘It’s ironic’, Steve said, smiling. ‘How much the Winter Soldier actually hates winter.’

Bucky pouted, seemingly annoyed, but it only made Steve laugh.

‘Go on’, he pointed at the box. ‘That was just the bonus.’

He put the sweater carefully on his bedside table, and he stopped when his eyes landed on what else was in the box. A set of boxes, going from tiny to just big enough to fit in the gift box, neither of them wrapped. Bucky saw a digital camera, one he knew was the latest released on the market, two additional lenses (one for zoom and a fixed one for portraits), an external flash, a bunch of memory cards, a couple of filters, batteries, battery chargers and in the middle of it, a silver strap that somehow matched his arm, to replace the one the camera came with.

‘Shit, Steve’, Bucky found his voice. ‘These must have cost a fortune’. 

Steve snorted. ‘It’s not like I couldn’t afford it.’

They were silent for a few moments, Bucky just staring at it all, not making any move to unbox anything.

‘You always liked pictures’, Steve said, somewhat subdued. ‘I remember when he had to take those shots, with the Commandoes, you spent the entire time hassling the photographer, asking about everything, how the camera worked, why was he doing this and that, why was he framing the pictures like that. I thought…’

He didn’t go on, so Bucky took it upon himself to speak again.

‘I know more, now’, he said gruffly. ‘I had to, for gathering intelligence.’

‘That’s great’, Steve said, making Bucky snap, surprised, at him.

‘I mean, it’s awful’, Steve backtracked, ‘but it’s great that we won’t need to find anyone to explain how it works to you.’

Bucky nodded.

‘Are you going to open it?’, Steve asked, amusement seeping through again.

‘No’, Bucky shook his head, carefully putting the box on the floor next to the bed. ‘I’ll play with it tomorrow.’

‘But uh’, Steve hesitated. ‘Do you like it?’

When Bucky just looked at him, Steve blushed a bit, ducking his head.

‘I just thought it would be a nice hobby to have. Even if you just take pictures of us, and get Jarvis to print them out, he said he could, by the way, I thought it would… that you’d enjoy doing that.’

‘I’m sure I will’, Bucky admitted. ‘Thanks, Steve’, he took a deep breath. ‘You are prepared, though, for the amount of portraits I’m going to take of you, right?’

Steve grinned at that, finally meeting his eyes. ‘I’m a great model, Buck.’

He rolled his eyes, getting off the bed and heading towards his dressing room, grabbing Steve’s gift. It was a large box, larger than the one he received, badly wrapped in newspapers (just like they used to do when they were young, even if now Bucky had a hard time actually finding newspapers in the facility). Steve’s jaw dropped when he saw it.

‘What the hell?’, he breathed out, as Bucky dumped the box in the middle of the bed.

‘Bucky, this is-‘

‘Open it, Steve’, he rolled his eyes. ‘Comment on it later.’

Steve listened, quickly making a mess of the newspapers. He didn’t say anything as he went through all the supplies inside. The stacks of different paper, the sketchbooks, the paints, the pastel crayons, the markers and pens.

‘Buck’, he said a bit breathlessly, looking at him with wide eyes. But they were excited, Bucky noticed. As excited as they were when Steve’s mother made apple pie or when he saved enough money to buy a comic book.

Bucky laughed, a bit. ‘There’s a bag, at the bottom. That’s uh, that’s the bonus.’

Steve grinned at him, before rummaging around, taking a while before he finally took out the simple red bag.

His jaw dropped, again, when he took out the teddy bear. Steve didn’t say anything.

‘I went with Sam to one of those build your own teddy places’, Bucky explained, ‘and they had a few pre-made ones. The Captain America was pretty good, but the Bucky’, he shook his head distastefully. ‘It was wearing the jacket I had back in the war, you know, the one with a lot of buttons? That was pretty cool, I admit, and it had a tiny adorable rifle, but it was also wearing the mask, do you remember? The one I almost shoved up Howard’s ass?’

Steve nodded, slowly, not taking his eyes off the thing.

‘Well that just wouldn’t do’, Bucky kept on babbling, anxious for reasons unknown. ‘It needed to get updated, so I did. This one’s way better, I think. A better representation, at least. And Pepper’s people’, he waved a dismissive hand, ‘are working on making this a real thing, I mean, a real piece of merchandise. It’s weird, I don’t understand the whole… PR thing, but they keep asking about my opinion on it, so it’s going to be pretty-‘

He stopped babbling when Steve put a hand on his knee.

‘You hate it when I’m sent on missions without you’, Bucky said, whispered really. ‘I thought he’d keep you company.’

‘Thank you’, Steve breathed out. ‘I love him.’

He paired the words with hugging the teddy tightly to his chest, a very childlike smile on his face. It made Bucky snort, the seriousness of the moment gone.

‘So you’ll be taking my picture’, Steve said excitedly, ‘and I’ll be drawing your picture.’

Bucky shrugged, but he nodded. Steve kept on grinning.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

Three hours later, they were both in pajamas, well, Steve was. Bucky was wearing his usual pajamas, a sweater and a hoodie.

They were both in the middle of Bucky’s (alarmingly large, really Tony, what the hell?!) bed, watching _Miracle on 34 th Street_. There was a half empty plate of cookies between them, empty bottles of milk on the side tables and both men were underneath Bucky’s comforter.

It wasn’t a hard thing to do, considering their sides were plastered together, and Steve’s hand was over Bucky’s shoulder, because it was the most comfortable position. Bucky’s head was on Steve’s chest, moving with each breath he took. He didn’t mind it.

‘Are you cold?’, Steve asked just as Bucky realized that they were, essentially, cuddling.

‘Little bit’, Bucky rasped out, voice scratchy.

Steve huffed, somewhat exasperated. ‘You’re wearing three layers of clothes, you’re under a very thick blanket, and the heat’s all the way up. How can you still be cold, Bucky?’

He shrugged, snuggling even further into Steve’s side.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling cold.’

After all the time he spent in the ice, how could anyone expect him too? Steve didn’t have the same problem but, well. Bucky was aware that his best friend was more adjusted than he was.

Steve didn’t say anything more, watching the movie in silence, but Bucky could sense that he was tenser than before.

When the movie was over, Steve asked Friday to turn off the tv and the lights, and Bucky didn’t even get to protest. In the darkness, Steve made his way to the dresser, coming back with yet another blanket, which he quickly wrapped around Bucky.

He got under it as well, moving Bucky where he wanted him, ignoring his protests. So Bucky ended up half sprawled over the other man, Steve’s strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, one of Steve’s legs thrown over his.

Bucky’s face was pushed into the crook of Steve’s neck and really, Bucky should feel uncomfortable. He should be feeling very fucking uncomfortable. Instead, he just felt exhausted. And still cold.

‘I’ll warm you up, Buck’, Steve whispered into the darkness, kissing the top of Bucky’s head, the only place he could reach.

Bucky was asleep before he got to respond.

**‖ ‖ ‖ ‖ ‖**

He woke up on his side, hugging a pillow to his chest, Steve’s front plastered to his back, hand thrown over Bucky’s stomach.

But Steve wasn’t asleep, he could tell. So Bucky slowly turned around, so that they could face each other. Steve didn’t move his hand, now resting it on the other man’s hip.

‘Still cold?’, he whispered, and Bucky shook his head.

It made Steve smile. ‘I forgot to tell you something last night.’

Bucky frowned, making Steve’s fingers squeeze his hip.

‘I forgot to tell you Merry Christmas’, Steve smiled. ‘And how… happy and grateful I am that you’re here.’

It made Bucky blush furiously, so he whined, low in his throat, and hid his face in the crook of Steve’s neck. He liked it there, apparently.

Steve chuckled, his free hand coming up to run in Bucky’s hair, a soothing motion that made Bucky sigh and relax.

‘I love you’, he whispered against Steve’s skin, and the other man froze for half a second.

But then he gently pulled Bucky’s face away, just so that Steve could kiss his forehead.

Bucky didn’t even realize what he was doing, but he angled his head up, not really knowing what he wanted, but still expecting something. Steve breathed out shakily, and closed his eyes before he pressed his lips to Bucky’s.

That’s when Bucky realized what he wanted, and it didn’t really surprise him to find out that he wanted Steve. Not when Steve seemed to be thinking the same thing, kissing him sweetly and holding him desperately.

When they finally stopped, Bucky had a hard time focusing on Steve’s face.

‘I wanted to do that for a very long time’, Steve admitted, blush high on his cheeks.

‘Oh’, Bucky blinked in shock, before his constant need to tease Steve snapped him out of it. ‘Oh, I’m just using you’, he said. ‘You’re like my own personal radiator, I’m dumping you once summer starts.’

Steve snorted and lightly pushed Bucky away. ‘Keep saying stuff like that and I won’t let you join me in the shower.’

Bucky gulped and quickly shut his mouth, making Steve snicker. But he also rolled on top of him, boldly linking his fingers into Bucky’s hair and kissing him a lot less sweetly than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanda was cooking _cozonac_. A sort of sponge cake, with chocolate and things inside. Nomnomnom, traditional Romanian food is very delicious and very bad for you.


	32. Steve/Bucky: BI AND FINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Pride Month, right? *evil grin*  
> I saw [this fanart](http://fyeahdylanmassett.tumblr.com/post/144660836692/codeoxys-ok-but-just-hear-me-out-bisexual) of Dylan from Bates Motel and I mean it took me a sec to realize it wasn’t a fanart of Steve.

Bucky has been … back for about 9 months now, and during this time, he has grown to understand some things. A lot of things.

Like the fact that Tony Stark was actually a good man, wrapped up in a blanket of sarcasm, insults and anger.

That Natasha Romanoff wasn’t actually an iceberg of a person, and she did in fact, care about Bucky.

Sam did act like Bucky was the bane of his existence, but he would jump in front of a car for him.

Bucky learned to not feel so awkward when Wanda showed him kindness, when she teased him and acted like his sister used to.

He learned to live in this world, 70 years too old. He learned the history and how to move past his involvement in it. He learned how the world changed, what things were normal now, what weren’t.

But most of all, Bucky learned about Steve. How years of being Captain America changed him, and how they didn’t. How he was still Steve, the Steve Bucky grew up with, but a more … refined version of him. Confident in his body and his strength, surrounded by friends but still incapable of getting a date. Still loving and caring, righteous to a fault.

Bucky learned that Steve Rogers still loved him, and he learned that he was deserving of that love. And he fought every day to keep it that way.

And he fought every night against the instinct to make Steve _his._ They weren’t like that, Bucky knew. They never were like that, their love wasn’t like that.

… It didn’t stop Bucky from wanting it.

Anyway, Bucky knew a lot of things now. So he knew enough to know that Steve was acting weird.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

Pride Month was a big deal in New York, but unfortunately, with all the celebrations and parties, all the nutjobs came out as well.

They were only in the first week of June, and a lot of fights have already gone down, people getting attacked in broad daylight. It wasn’t something for the Avengers, the PR team argued. ‘Beneath us’, Tony said.

That didn’t stop Steve from organizing a press conference.

‘I won’t get involved’, he told them, ‘I’ll just make a plea with the people of New York. Maybe they’ll listen to Captain America.’

That was weird, because Steve hated press conferences.

And then, on the day of it, Steve was smiling widely. Too widely, and way too fake for Bucky to be comfortable. There was mischief in his eyes, the same type of look Steve always got before doing something stupid.

It wasn’t just that, though.

Steve was wearing a white t-shirt with a light purple v-neck cardigan on top. It was so weird, so uncharacteristhic, even Pepper asked him if he was feeling alright. But he just waved it off with a smile on his face and made his way to the conference room.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

Bucky watched the live feed from the communal area. Tony and Pepper were there too, Sam and Wanda.

There was a shocked silence that fell over them when Steve made his appearance. Because he wasn’t wearing the light purple cardigan anymore, no.

Now, he was wearing a simple white t-shirt that hugged his biceps beautifully, Bucky absently thought. And on the front of it, in big enough colorful letters, in pink, purple and blue, three simple words: _BI AND FINE_

Steve started talking, reading the speech he prepared off his flash cards. As he pleaded with the New Yorkers and the rest of America to respect one another and support each other, Bucky’s heart was going haywire and his brain wasn’t doing anything better.

‘Did anybody know about this?’, Tony was the first one to recover.

Of course, at his question, everybody turned around to look at Bucky. He didn’t look away from the tv, but he did shake his head.

Sam snorted. ‘You guys haven’t been paying enough attention, then.’

Nobody had any answer to that, so they kept staring at Steve. He’d gotten better at this speech business since the war, that much was clear. But beyond that, it was obvious to Bucky that this was important to Steve.

‘Jesus Christ’, he breathed out, his brain finally catching up. ‘Captain America just came out on national television.’

‘He didn’t’, Pepper said. ‘I mean, he’s just wearing a t-shirt. Maybe we can switch it around, say he was just being supporting.’

Sam snorted again. ‘He won’t want that. Steve’s wearing the t-shirt for a _reason_.’

Bucky couldn’t help but agree with him, because Sam was right. Pepper must have realized it too, because she sighed and pulled out her phone, no doubt contacting the PR team.

When Steve came in, he had put the cardigan back on (he didn’t button it up, though), and he was whistling like he didn’t have any care in the word.

He locked eyes with Pepper first. ‘We good?’

She sighed, but nodded along. ‘You’ll have to do more press.’

‘Thought as much’, Steve snorted.

‘Some explanations, maybe’, Pepper went on.

Steve just nodded along, easily.

‘Okay then’, Pepper said with finality. Then she smiled softly at Steve and kissed his cheek. ‘I’m proud of you’.

That made Steve grin.

‘Really? That’s it? We’re not discussing it any further?’, Tony said in clear distress.

Steve raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Do you really wanna discuss it?’

Tony paled, suddenly. He mumbled a few things that nobody actually understood, before all but dragging a very amused Pepper out of the room.

Wanda kissed Steve’s cheek as well, and Sam clapped him firmly on the shoulder.

When Steve turned to him, Bucky could see hesitance in his eyes, for the first time that day. It was ridiculous, he thought.

‘It’s amazing’, Bucky said slowly, ‘that after everything we’ve been through, you still have the ability to surprise me.’

Steve smiled, a little self deprecating. ‘I try my best.’

Bucky bit on his lower lip, thinking how to address the only question he had. ‘Is this new? Or was it… always there?’

Steve shook his head. ‘It ain’t new. The only thing new is the… fact that I can say it.’

‘Good’, Bucky said quickly.

A beat passed. ‘That’s it?’

Bucky laughed. ‘Yeah, Steve, that’s it. You’re an idiot for thinking otherwise.’

He rolled his eyes, faking annoyance.

Bucky hesitated for only a moment. ‘I don’t think I’m going to be doing such a spectacular coming out, though.’

Steve wasn’t surprised. He just smiled, heavily amused, before shaking his head.

‘I owe Sam twenty bucks’, he explained, and Bucky groaned at that.

They shared a hug, because of course they did, and Bucky didn’t miss the relieved sigh Steve pushed into his shoulder.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

It was only a couple of days after when Steve did one of the late night talk shows.

Bucky watched it alone, in the apartment they shared in the Tower, sitting on the couch with the lights off, in his pajamas.

The t-shirt made a reappearance, in a gray color this time, paired with a pair of matching slacks.

Steve didn’t shy away from the questions, he answered every one of them. Yes, he has always known he was bisexual, even if he has grown up thinking of himself in a very unhealthy way because of it. No, the rest of the Avengers didn’t know, they found out now as well. Yes, everybody was very supportive. Steve thought that his mom knew, but she never said anything, she couldn’t have in those times. The fact that this was _allowed_ now was the best change in the world for him, Steve couldn’t even explain the amount of happiness he felt when he came out of the ice and learned about this.

The questions stopped soon enough, and the interview developed in Steve making one of his speeches. It was pretty heartbreaking, Bucky thought, hearing Captain America begging for the safety of the community. Asking everyone to take care of the children, of the young ones, the teenagers who were brave enough to be on the streets now. And of the other ones too, the kids who couldn’t come out, who were too afraid of rejection or abuse.

‘This is a time for celebration’, Steve kept saying, over and over again. ‘This city has been through so much in the past years, the community has suffered great losses, but they still come out of it with a smile. Let us celebrate who and what we are, in peace and love.’

Steve was a ridiculous person, with his uplifting speeches and that thing he did, the straightened back and the gruff tone he used, that Bucky started calling his Captain America persona.

And Bucky was crying because of it, because of him.

‘Sergeant Barnes, is there anything I can do to help?’, a meek Friday asked.

Bucky snorted. ‘I’m fine, thanks. There is… It’s the good type of tears.’

There was a beat of silence. ‘Miss Maximoff is crying in the common room, watching the same channel as you are.’

‘Of course she is’, Bucky snorted again. But he also took the comforter from the back of the couch and made his way to the common room, wrapping himself and Wanda in it.

When Steve made it back to the tower, Wanda was curled up half in Bucky’s lap, snoring softly in his ear, and Bucky’s shirt was still wet with tears.

Steve looked highly distressed. Of course, it disappeared when Wanda woke up and hugged him tightly for 10 full minutes. After that, he seemed happy.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

They were alone in their living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, reading in silence.

It was broken by Friday.

‘Captain Rogers, have you checked twitter recently?’

Steve frowned. ‘No, pull it up.’

#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend was trending. Friday explained, that it was in relation to the Captain America comic book that was still going on. That in that story, Steve has just broken up with his girlfriend, and that the fans have been hoping for him to have a different sexuality for decades.

Steve took it all in stride, with wide eyes but with understanding nods. And then he took out his phone.

Thankfully, Friday showed them what Steve tweeted.

_#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend , huh? I think I should have a say in this._

After that, the hashtag was flooded with various guys volunteering. Bucky watched in morbid fascination, the hundred tweets coming in, and Steve’s smile growing with each one of them.

‘Buck, take my picture’, Steve startled him.

But he obliged. Steve was wearing The Shirt, he was always wearing The Shirt, even if he never went out of the tower. Today, it was light blue, and it matched the dark brown of the leather couch he was sitting on.

Steve smiled, that model level of gorgeous that always took Bucky’s breath away, and he did a heart with his fingers, careful not to hide the writing on his shirt.

_Thanks, guys, but I’m not looking for anyone right now. That said, I wouldn’t mind getting a boyfriend in the comics :)_

Bucky just shook his head through it, and ignored the rumbling in his chest. He didn’t even know if he was feeling angry that Steve didn’t even think of him, or grateful that he wasn’t looking for someone else.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

‘Hey, Steve’, Natasha said in an overly sweet voice one morning towards the end of the month. ‘Are you going to the Pride March?’

‘Hell yes I am going to the Pride March!’, Steve said strongly, looking at her with wide eyes. ‘I’ve got a place on a float and everything.’

Natasha paused at that. ‘Really?’

Steve nodded, enthusiastically. ‘Wanda’s coming too. You’re all welcome to join.’

Everybody shook their heads at that. Bucky had a split moment of wanting to say yes, but he knew he would freak out among all those people.

‘You’ve got this covered’, Natasha finally said, and Steve nodded, that manic glint in his eyes that always meant trouble.

Bucky already regretted it.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

That didn’t mean that he didn’t watch the March on the day.

When Steve came on tv, Bucky just kind of… slid down the couch.

Steve was indeed on a float, surrounded by young girls and boys, by teenagers, all of them wearing colorful, revealing outfits. It was clear to Bucky, that Steve arranged it, that he wanted to be surrounded by kids.

He couldn’t stop too much to think about it, though. Because Steve looked… _sinful._ He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of blue skinny jeans that hung low on his hips. But on his chest, the words _BI AND FINE_ still stood out, still in the same colors he’s been wearing all month, painted on his skin. There was glitter on his pecs, upper arms, collarbone and cheekbones. He still had his shield, though, strapped to his back.

Then Wanda came in the shot, and she was wearing a pair of jeans shorts and a bikini top, an obnoxiously large necklace on her neck that said _STRAIGHT ALLY_. She had glitter everywhere, even in her hair.

They were both grinning like maniacs, dancing to whatever song was playing. They got close, in their dancing, unbashfully so, and when Wanda boldly grabbed a hold of Steve’s ass, and when the camera zoomed in on it, Bucky may have groaned.

Again, Friday asked if he was okay, and he managed to tell her that he was fine. It came out a little bit as a squeak, but nobody should expect him to act normal when Steve looked like _that_.

Once the initial shock and implicit hardon died down, Bucky was finally able to get his brain working. The kids around Steve were all happy, dancing and goofing around and Wanda and Steve were both looking at them with fondness and Bucky recognized the urge to protect in both of their eyes. It was endearing.

And as the reporter kept talking, Bucky could only agree with her, the Avengers showing this kind of support to the kids of the community was very important.

‘Message from Mr. Stark’, Friday’s voice startled him, and he nodded.

‘Howard is rolling around in his grave’, Tony said gravely and, well, Bucky started laughing, not even bothering with a response.

Still, as the camera moved to the next part of the march, Bucky took a long, cold shower.

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

Steve got back home late that night, still shirtless, the words a little smudged on his chest, grinning widely and dripping glitter everywhere.

‘I wish you would have been there’, he said, and Bucky had to smile at that.

‘Maybe next year.’

✿ P  R  I  D  E ✿

When Bucky comes out, he does it by stealing one of Steve’s _BI AND FINE_ shirts and wearing it to a indie film festival.

Four things happen as a response to that.

The media starts calling them _America’s oldest pair of bisexuals_. There’s an undertone to that, they’re both aware, people think they’re together, but nobody actually says it out front, so they don’t talk about it either.

The Avengers keep shoting them these...  _looks_. They both ignore them, somewhat aggressively. 

Steve and Bucky both attend a meeting with the production house that is doing the Captain America comic book, and they’re politely asked if they would agree with their characters getting together in the story. It’s awkward, the silence that follows, the looks they share, but then Steve shrugs and says that it kind of makes sense, and Bucky agrees with him, of course he does.

Two days after that meeting, Steve kisses Bucky. With nothing to prompt it, without saying anything before, he just gently squeezes Bucky’s shoulder as he presses their lips together, briefly but strongly.

‘I’m not as oblivious as everyone thinks I am’, Steve smirks at him after. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re not opposed to this development.’

‘Yeah’, Bucky finds his voice. ‘I’m really not.’

Steve grins at that, and goes in for another kiss. This one’s a lot longer and later, as they’re lying in bed, tangled with each other so much that they have to turn on the air conditioning, Bucky starts laughing.

‘Bi and fine, together in and out of the comic book.’

Steve laughs as well, until he doesn’t, too busy shutting Bucky up in other ways.


	33. Darcy/Clint: Big Boy Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saw [this post](http://sssssssim.tumblr.com/post/146838099391/thegirlinthebyakko-de-aged-clint-is-kind-of-shy) about de-aged Clint, and I wanted to write it. In ended up in Darcy/Clint cause of course it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for talk about abuse

When Friday told her the problem, Darcy freaked out.

Mostly, because this was some weird shit even for the Avengers. Also, because Natasha was away on some sort of mission, deep undercover, and Vision was with her.

Unfortunately, they were the best two people (ish) who could have dealt with this problem. That’s what Darcy thought, anyway.

But, alas, they were out of reach, and the Avengers were still a couple of hours out, so it was Darcy who took one of Tony’s super fast cars to the closest supermarket, and it was Darcy who did the shopping, toys and clothes, a crib and toiletries, all for a 4 year old boy.

Because Clint was now a 4 year old boy. Hawkeye, the greatest marksmen on Earth (if you ask anyone but Bucky), has been de-aged.

She’s just glad she did all that babysitting in high school, cause it’s not like the Avengers facility has a day care.

**:3**

Cap is the one carrying Clint, and is  _screeching_.

‘He hasn’t stopped for the entire flight’, Bruce tells her, looking devastated. ‘Steve’s the only one he’s not kicking at.’

Darcy doesn’t say anything, just directs them to the common room. Clint still doesn’t stop crying, not even when presented with a tiny bed shaped as a red car, with about a bazillion toys and half of that in clothes.

She orders Steve to put him down, and Cap does, Clint running straight to the corner of the room. He sits on the floor, pushes his back to the wall, brings his knees to his chest and keeps on crying, looking at them with wild eyes.

Darcy approaches slowly, finally letting herself actually look at baby Clint. He’s wearing a plaid shirt that is way too big for him, tied around his legs and with the sleeves rolled up. His face is red and snotty, there’s a bruise forming on one of his ankles and… he’s terrified.

‘Hey there’, Darcy says as softly as she can, sitting cross legged in front of him, but still at a distance. ‘I promise you nobody here is going to hurt you, little dude.’

Clint just shakes his head somewhat strongly, eyes skipping from her to the Avengers behind her.

‘You’re safe here’, Darcy insists. ‘My name is Darcy, what’s yours?’

His eyes settle on her, then.

‘You should know’, he hiccups. ‘They do.’

Darcy smiles at that. ‘Well, Clint, you’re a smart cookie.’

He doesn’t laugh.

‘Look, I know you’re scared. But I do promise you we’re here to protect you, not to hurt you. We’re your friends, even if you don’t remember us right now.’

Clint doesn’t meet her eyes for too long.

‘You’re safe, Clint. Cross my heart and hope to die!’

He seems to cry harder at that, clutching at his stomach.

She looks to Bruce, who’s frowning and shaking his head. He did a checkup on the boy on the way here, and he said that Clint seems healthy.

‘You must be hungry, huh?’, Darcy smiles. ‘And tired?’

It takes a couple of beats, but Clint nods.

‘Do you want to get cleaned up? There’s a bathroom just over there. I can help.’

‘I’m a big boy!’, he says somewhat indignantly. ‘I can do it myself.’

‘Okay’, Darcy smiles. ‘You can pick out some clothes, too. These are all yours.’

His eyes grow wide at that, looking at the pile of colorful fabrics.

‘I’ll fix you something to eat while you clean yourself up. What do you want?’

‘Food’, is the only answers she gets.

Darcy doesn’t approach as Clint stands up and heads to the pile of clothes, and she throws a look to the Avengers willing them to do the same.

Clint picks up a dinosaur onesie, and that makes Darcy smile, because it’s her favorite from the pile. The boy doesn’t look at anyone as he makes his way to the bathroom, but stops half way through.

‘Where’s Barney?’, he asks, and Darcy has no idea who that is. Most of the Avengers are frowning as well, except for Wanda, who curses under her breath.

‘He had to go away for a little while’, she says, smiling at Clint.

He doesn’t smile, his bottom lip quivers and he looks angry. ‘He said he’d take me with him. He promised he wasn’t going to leave me.’

‘He’ll be back’, Wanda says all too quickly. ‘He just had… something to do.’

Clint sighs, shaking his head and not saying anything else as he makes his way to the bathroom. He closes the door behind him, lock and all, and Darcy makes sure Friday is keeping an eye on him.

‘What the hell happened?’, she asks, and it’s Cap that answers.

‘Inhuman.’

Darcy waits for an additional explanation, but it doesn’t come.

‘Well did you get him?’

Steve growls a bit. ‘Maria’s interrogating him right now.’

There’s silence again.

‘We don’t know if he’s going to turn back’, Wanda says, and Darcy asks herself for the billionth time if the other woman is reading her mind.

‘He will’, Steve says with that Captain America conviction that makes you believe him instantly. ‘If it doesn’t pass, we’ll _make_ the Inhuman turn him back.’

‘And until then?’, Darcy can’t help but ask.

‘I’ll pay you extra for babysitting duties’, Stark doesn’t miss a beat in answering. 'I don't like the little creatures.'

Darcy glares, and she's not the only one.

‘Just… get out of here. All of you, you’re freaking him out. Also, you’re disgusting, go wash up.’

Tony doesn’t need to be told twice, Bruce and Bucky following him quickly. Cap and Wanda linger, but Darcy shooes them out.

Clint isn’t crying anymore when he comes out of the bathroom, he’s freshly showered and Darcy is a bit horrified at the fact that a 4 year old knows how to safely shower by himself. He looks adorable in the green onesie, and when he asks for food, he says ‘please, Miss Darcy’ and ‘thank you, Miss Darcy’.

He still doesn’t meet her eyes too often, but he eats the peanut butter sandwiches without a fuss, and he drinks the glass of milk without making a mess, and when he yawns after finishing the food, he apologizes, blushing.

Darcy puts him to bed, and asks if he wants her to leave. He shakes his head, looking scared again, so she promises she’ll be here when he wakes up, making sure he sees when she grabs her tablet and gets comfortable on the couch.

‘I’m safe here?’, he whispers and Darcy hates it.

‘I promise, Clint. Nobody here is ever going to hurt you.’

‘Okay’, the boy sniffs twice before turning his back to her and falling asleep.

**:3**

Clint sleeps peacefully for a couple of hours, but he wakes up screaming and he wets the bed.

When Darcy gets to his side, he starts apologizing, covering his head with his hands. It takes a long while, for her to calm Clint down, to get him to wash up while she changes the sheets. And even after that, he still keeps his distance from her, doesn’t lift his head to look at her, keeps apologizing. Darcy tries to play it down, saying that it’s normal, he’s had a hard day and it’s completely fine for little kids to have accidents every now and then, but Clint doesn’t seem to buy it.

She tries to get him to eat something, but he says it’s not dinner time yet. She tries to get him to watch tv, but he says he’s only allowed to watch cartoons on Saturday morning. She tries to get him to play with the toys, and he agrees to that, after a while.

Clint sits cross legged on the floor in front of the couch, and he plays with two cars. Just that, from the mountain of toys at his disposal. He seems happy enough, though, making car noises and exploding noises when he makes the cars crash. He’s quiet, though, he’s doing them under his breath, and it’s so… unnatural.

No child Darcy has ever met was this silent. And knowing how Clint is now, in his 30s, she doesn’t understand how baby Clint can be this way.

It’s… disconcerting, for one. And it freaks Darcy out.

**:3**

Steve joins them for dinner. Clint says that he doesn’t mind, but when Steve extends a hand to help him get up in the chair, Clint flinches and runs to Darcy’s side, hiding behind her legs.

‘It’s okay, cookie’, she says, extending a hand for him to take but not pushing it. ‘Steve won’t hurt you, I promise.’

It takes a couple of seconds of Steve doing his best nonthreatening smile, but Clint does nod and takes Darcy’s hand, and lets himself be put on a chair next to Steve.

They talk during dinner, Steve casually asking Clint questions. Where he’s from, what he likes to do, what toys are his favorite, what he and Barney do on a Sunday, what’s his favorite book.

The answers are… heartbreaking, really.

Clint is from Iowa, but Barney and him live in Kansas now, because it’s the only place where they were allowed to be together. When asked if he likes it there, Clint says that the man taking care of them has enough space for both of them.

He likes it when they have to work outside. He likes the horses and he doesn’t mind the dirt or mud on his hands.

They don’t have a lot of time to play, but in the weekends, he and Barney chase around butterflies and play with frogs.

They don’t have books either, but Barney tells the best stories, Clint’s favorites are one about a ninja and a crocodile, and one about Captain America and an evil squid. He's very sad to learn it's not real, but then Steve starts telling him a story about the Howling Commandos and a bear.

Maria Hill interrupts them as they’re finishing dinner, and Clint scrambles off the chair and hides behind Darcy, again.

Nobody comments on it, but Hill winks at Clint and tells him that everything will be back to normal soon enough. From this, Darcy understands that the Inhuman’s effect will wear off, and relieved is too simple of a word to describe what she’s feeling.

Hill talks with Steve for a bit, in French so that Clint doesn’t pick it up, and leaves with another wink.

‘She’s pretty’, Clint says. ‘And scary.’

‘Well’, Steve says slowly, ‘if there was any doubt it is actually Clint…’

Darcy laughs.

**:3**

It takes her two more days to figure it out, and it’s only after Bucky and Bruce visit. It’s not just that Clint hides behind Darcy’s legs again, it’s that when Bruce tries to shake the boy’s hand, to introduce himself, Clint flinches badly and covers his head with his hands again.

Darcy manages to calm him down, and by the end of the visit, he sits next to Bucky on the couch and pokes at his metal arm as he asks a million questions about it.

But after he puts Clint to bed, she makes her way to Steve and Bucky’s living room, where the common room was temporarily moved.

‘Was Clint abused when he was a child?’, is all she says, and it gets a reaction.

Wanda gasps, the men all look horrified, and Hill sighs.

‘Yes’, she says, shocking everyone even more.

‘Shit’, Darcy says with feeling, punching a wall.

Bucky’s there in an instant, rubbing her sore knuckles, but his expression hasn’t changed.

‘He’s taken to you, though’, Hill adds, and Darcy’s not even surprised that she’s been watching them. ‘Probably because all of his abusers have been men.’

Darcy snarls at that, and Bucky shushes her. She can’t even muster enough anger to glare at him, it’s all directed to the men who hurt Clint.

‘What did the Inhuman say?’, Darcy asks, willing herself to calm down.

‘It’ll ware off in a couple of days’, Steve says.

Darcy sighed. ‘Did anyone talk to Natasha?’

‘She’ll be back in a week’, Bruce says. ‘We figured we shouldn’t … worry her.’

Darcy snorts at that, but she also asks Bucky to make her a drink as strong as his punch.

**:3**

The next morning, Wanda comes over for breakfast. Clint seems fine with her being around, meaning that when she uses her magic to get him a glass of orange juice, he confesses his undying love.

They give Darcy the afternoon off, Clint being very excited to go outside for a change, to help Wanda work on the little garden she keeps out the back of the facility.

She worries, but the truth is she has been kind of neglecting her work since Clint’s been de-aged. So she busies herself with that, and Darcy doesn’t notice when the time flies.

Friday lets her know that dinner is approaching, so she gets to cook something quickly, just in time for Clint and Wanda to come back, with Steve in tow.

Clint spends dinner talking about everything he saw outside, about all the fun stuff he and Wanda did, and it’s the most he has talked since he’s been this way, and it’s the happiest he’s been.

He falls asleep early, on the couch with his head on Steve’s thigh and his legs in Darcy’s lap.

**:3**

Darcy doesn’t mind spending her days with Clint. He’s a fun kid to be around, mostly because he’s polite and chill, he doesn’t give her any headaches. And then she thinks about _why_ he’s like that, and it makes her heart ache, so really, she doesn’t mind it one bit.

Mostly, he doesn’t mind playing on his own, as long as Darcy keeps an eye out for him. Sometimes, he asks her questions, everything and anything, and she tries her best to answer. He always thanks her, and pats her hand twice when he does so.

He hugs her, sometimes. Always shily, always blushing, always when they’re alone. He stopped calling her “Miss Darcy” on day three, and it didn’t take long for her name to be reduced to _Darce_. That, at least, was familiar.

He still won’t sleep without Darcy in the room, though, so she’s been sleeping on the couch. He wakes up from nightmares a couple of times every night, but now he lets Darcy touch him, hug him and comfort him until he falls back asleep. He doesn’t wet the bed again, not after that first day.

Clint still flinches when a man gets too close, but Steve is the only one who can touch him afterwards. He’s the closest to Darcy, which is understandable, because they spend all the time together, more or less, but he likes Wanda too. Not Hill, though, Clint still thinks she’s scary.

He doesn’t watch tv, he doesn’t want Darcy reading him stories. Clint likes to run around outside, or play with the toy cars, or draw. Steve joins him every now and then.

Bucky takes him to the gym one time, and Clint comes back a sweaty mess but very proud of himself for being able to help Bucky with his weight lifting. Darcy suspects Clint  _was the weights_ in this scenario, but she doesn't ask.

One day, Darcy ends up wearing a Hawkeye t-shirt. It’s purple and has the bullseye in the front. Clint likes it so much, she lets him have it, and it ends up being the only pajama he uses.

Every night, he asks if Barney’s going to be back tomorrow. Every night, Darcy lies.

**:3**

She usually gets some work done after Clint falls asleep, so she’s still awake when he starts screaming.

He doesn’t wake up this time, no matter how much Darcy yells his name or shakes him. She yells at Friday to get help, but then she notices that Clint is _expanding_.

She can’t look away. She can’t even explain how it looked, seeing a 4 year old boy growing into a 30 some man, but by the end of it, Clint, _her_ Clint was on the ground, surrounded by splinters of what used to be a car-shaped bed, mostly naked except for Darcy’s Hawkeye t-shirt, that was so snug on him it broke at the seams.

Clint stops screaming and he pulls the blanket over his lap.

‘Uhm-‘, he says, and it’s his voice, that Darcy has missed, god damn it.

She starts crying, maybe, and she definitely grabs Clint into a tight, tight hug. He returns it easily, but he’s clearly disoriented, considering he keeps asking what happened.

When Darcy lets go of him, she sees that most of the Avengers are in the living room, watching them with idiotic, relieved grins. Wanda’s the last one to come in, and she brings a change of clothes for Clint, with he gladly takes.

After he’s dressed, he stares at Darcy.

‘I just had the weirdest dream’, he pulls a face at her.

Darcy laughs, and starts crying again, and hugs him again.

**:3**

They stay up, explaining to Clint what happened. Darcy doesn’t say much, she lets the boys and Wanda give all the details.

She’s exhausted, and when she startles awake for the fifth time, Bucky wordlessly lifts her up and carries her to her own bed, in her apartment.

She falls asleep quickly, but she wakes up slowly, to the comforting feeling of someone’s fingers running through her hair.

Darcy’s not really surprised to find Clint in her bed, watching her with a frown.

‘I remember it, you know’, he says, very subdued in the empty room. ‘I mean, it’s fuzzy, like… like I’m watching a recording, but I remember it.’

She nods. ‘Are you okay?’

Clint shrugs. ‘Yeah, I am now. I mean, I was terrified, but you kept your promise, you kept me safe.’

Darcy frowns. ‘Nobody was ever going to hurt you.’

Clint snorts. ‘Well d’uh! I know that now, but I didn’t know it then, did I?’

Darcy sighs, moving her head to urge his fingers, which have stopped, to start moving again in her hair. They do.

Clint also moves, until he can push his face to her shoulder.

‘I trusted you more than Steve’, he whispers, ‘and I loved Captain America since I was two.’

‘That was weird’, Darcy agrees, yawning immediately afterwards.

Clint snorts. ‘I’m trying to say something here.’

‘You can say it later’, Darcy mumbles. ‘Sleep now.’

There is a pause.

‘Should I go?’, Clint whispers so lowly, Darcy barely hears him, even if he’s right there.

She doesn’t bother with a proper answer, she just tangles their legs together and places a kiss on the top of his head.

**:3**

It shouldn’t come as a surprise, when the next time Clint wakes her, he does it by kissing her softly and playfully. Honestly, they’ve been heading towards this for a while.

But having Clint as a toddler was distracting, so yes, the kissing surprises her, but not for long. Darcy kisses him back, and Clint smiles against her lips. She _knows_ him, so she knows he’s smug about it, the asshole.

Still, she doesn’t stop kissing him. They don’t go further than that, but it’s okay. It’s fun, and cozy in her bed, and there’s giggles and tickles and it’s nice. Comforting, and lazy, unhurried.

And then Friday interrupts them, saying that Natasha is back and on a warpath, looking for Clint. Steve is tending to his injuries, apparently Nat didn’t appreciate it being kept out of the loop.

‘Friday’, Clint said gravely, ‘lock the door. We’re not coming out today.’

Darcy laughs, until she gets silenced with another series of kisses.


	34. Steve/Bucky: Bucky's Barns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is a farmer who is just starting his business. He also knows Tony Stark, so that’s why he finds himself working side by side Captain America. On his farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally wrote "Bucky Barns" and I got the urge to write (somewhat of) a farmers!AU. I didn't plan for it being almost 14k words long, though. Oops. Here, have a _slow_ burn.
> 
> It's mostly Bucky's point of view. But twice (I think) it switches to Steve and once to Sam. You'll figure it out :). 
> 
> Just how many typical stucky tropes can I fit into a single AU fic? About these much.

 

Bucky didn’t even bother turning around when he heard the distinct _ping_ of a video call coming through. He knew who it was anyway and he was hands deep in water‚ washing the dishes.

And sure enough-

'Barnes!'‚ Tony Stark’s loud voice boomed in the silence of the kitchen. 'I got a favor to ask.’

Bucky sighed. ‘Out with it.’

‘Captain America needs some time off.’, Tony said without any infliction in his tone, but Bucky still froze. ‘You know, away from the fighting and away from the cameras. And I, as the loving and caring friend that I am, thought that there wasn’t any better place on Earth than your shitty farm in the middle of nowhere.’

Bucky shut off the water and wiped his hands on a towel before turning around slowly, trying his best to shield his left hand from view.

Captain America was sitting next to Stark, looking… awkward, for lack of a better word.

‘Hello’, he said hesitantly, but all Bucky managed to do was blink at him.

‘Look’, the Captain sighed, ‘you don’t have to do this. It was his idea’, he rolled his eyes at Stark, ‘but you… I mean, I’m sure I can find something else.’

Bucky stared. What the hell was Stark thinking?

Looking at Tony, though, Bucky understood it quickly, from the smirk on his lips and the intense look in his eyes. Tony, for reasons unknown to Bucky, thought that spending time on the farm would do the Captain good. But it couldn’t have been only that, because Bucky knew Stark, and he knew he would never have offered this if it would bring Bucky any sort of trouble.

He couldn’t comprehend Tony’s reasoning, not fully, but Bucky thought a lot about Captain America these days, for reasons he wasn’t prepared to look into. Meeting him wouldn’t be hardship. Having someone else in his house would be hard for Bucky, but it was also something he knew will be good for him in the long run.

And he trusts Stark.

So Bucky looked to Captain America and raised his eyebrows. ‘You’re gonna have to pull your weight.’

‘Really, you don’t have to-‘

‘You’ll help out around the farm.’, he said with finality. ‘You’ll get your hands dirty and it’s going to be hard. Don’t expect a vacation.’

Slowly, the Captain smiled. ‘I don’t mind some hard labor.’

Bucky just nodded, and turned to look at Stark. He was grinning.

‘I’ll be sending a jet in a couple of days. Do you need anything?’

‘Plaster and paints and wood and…’, he waved a hand around, ‘stuff to turn a room into an office. I’ll call Pepper.’

Stark looked affronted. ‘I am perfectly capable of-‘

‘Yeah’, Bucky snorted. ‘I’ll call Pepper, thanks.’

‘Thank you’, the Captain said, looking very serious. ‘I really appreciate this, it’s been-‘

Bucky hang up on him, not even remotely interested in the sentimentality that was sure to surface. Then he took a deep breath and only had a mild panic attack when he realized what he just agreed to.

≡

It took a week for Steve to actually leave for the farm. Clint was flying the quinjet, because someone needed to take it back and because he knew where he was going.

It was only an hour till the plane landed in what Tony rightfully called _middle of nowhere_. There were fields with crops, a dirt road that has seen better days, two large barns and a couple of smaller greenhouses, all set around a house.

An average looking house, just a base level and another one on top, maybe an attic. It was painted a muted cream that looked stark around all the green that surrounded it, and the contrast was only enhanced by the bright red patio the house had in front.

There was a battered up truck in the front that was once baby blue, an old tractor to the side and various tools were scattered around the front lawn.

‘You ready for this?’, Clint asked after he shut the engine, but before opening the trap.

‘Sure’, Steve shrugged.

‘Did Stark tell you about Barnes?’, Clint went on.

‘Not really. He just told me not to judge.’

It didn’t help Steve, it only made him be a lot more apprehensive. But the truth was he _needed_ this time off, and a farm sounded like heaven right now. He was willing to suffer to whatever Bucky Barnes threw at him, just for the sake of fresh air and manual, brainless labor.

Clint didn’t say anything more before he did open up the trap door.

Barnes was already waiting for them. The first thing that Steve noticed was that he was a well built man, with biceps and thighs to counter Steve’s own. The second thing he saw were the beautiful blue eyes that were brought out by the dark navy plaid shirt he was wearing. The third thing was the metal fingers of his left hand. And the last thing Steve noticed was the dog.

A dark brown, almost black Rottweiler that barked and wiggled its tail as it ran up to Clint. Hawkeye was quick to coo and bend down to pet it.

‘Her name is Betty’, a gruff voice said and when Steve turned around, Barnes was by his side.

He quickly extended a hand and politely introduced himself. Barnes’s grip was strong, but his voice wasn’t, when he asked Steve to call him Bucky.

Clint and he exchanged a hug that shouldn’t have surprised Steve as much as it did, it was clear that the two knew each other.

It took the better part on an hour for the three of them to put all the supplies Pepper sent in one of the barns, and after Clint left, Bucky helped Steve get his suitcases to a bedroom on the second floor.

‘It’s not much’, Bucky said, not really apologetic.

And it wasn’t, just a bed, a dresser and a desk. But the walls were painted a very warm yellow, the furniture was made out of dark wood, the bed had a large red comforter over it. It was clean and there was a lot of light coming in through a big window, and the bathroom was just across the hall.

‘Thank you-‘, Steve started saying, but Bucky cut him off strongly.

‘Would you stop it with that? It’s no bother and as I said, you’re not on vacation. We get up at 5AM tomorrow, feed the cows and the chickens, let the cows out, then we water the garden and check on the crops. You’ll help me make lunch and after that you’re gonna help me fix up the office until dinner time, when we round up the cows and feed the chickens again.’

Steve smiled. ‘Not a vacation, got it.’

Bucky narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything more. Instead, he lifted the left sleeve of his shirt, revealing a brilliant looking metal arm.

It was clearly a Stark design.

‘Did Tony tell you about it?’, Bucky asked gruffly.

Steve shook his head. ‘It’s not really any of my business, is it?’

It took a beat for Bucky to scold his expression into something more unaffected. ‘No, it’s not.’

He left soon after that, saying he had work to do and that he’ll leave Steve to settle in on his first day.

They only crossed paths one more time, at dinner, when Bucky accepted the sandwich Steve made him and said that he didn’t mind Steve looking around the house, it was probably better that way.

Steve was used to getting a quick read on people, but that was not what happened with Bucky. He saw signs of trauma, of course, the arm and the gruffness was a dead giveaway, but beyond that, Steve couldn’t read Bucky.

It didn’t really bother him, it just made Bucky that much more interesting to him.

Or maybe it was the beautiful blue eyes.

≡

Captain America was even more attractive in real life than on TV and Bucky had a feeling he was more righteous‚ too.

Bucky tried his best not to dwell on things like that. Steve wasn’t here to make friends, he was running away, this was supposed to be some half-assed form of therapy, Bucky was aware.

So the next morning when he found Steve in the kitchen at 5AM, drinking coffee and putting butter on toast, Bucky sat down across from him at the table and started talking about his usual routine around the farm.

Steve listened, nodding along, clearly interested. When Bucky was done, Steve smiled.

‘So what do you do with it? I mean, is it all just for you’, he waved around the kitchen, ‘or do you sell it somewhere?’

Bucky blinked. ‘The farm makes a lot more than I need. I only just started selling stuff at farmer’s markets around here. But it’s getting… bigger and I should start thinking of it properly. Like proper contracts and accounting… things. It’s why I need the office, actually.’

Steve tilted his head. ‘Did Pepper-‘

‘Yeah’, Bucky interrupted. ‘She’s gonna find someone to help me start it up, properly and legally. But I need to think about it a bit more before that.’

‘Well, that sounds pretty great’.

Bucky kind of hated how easy it was for Steve to smile, and he kind of hated how hard it was for him to return it. So he didn’t.

Instead, he urged Steve to finish his coffee so they could get to work.

It was a weird experience, working side by side Captain America. He knew absolutely nothing about anything (‘Sorry Bucky, I’m Brooklyn born and raised, the closest I got to farming was unwillingly eating dirt during recess’), but he was a quick learner. He listened intently to the explanations Bucky gave and he tried his best, accepting criticism with an easy nod.

He also liked animals, because he petted the cows with a soft smile on his face, he chuckled the entire time they spent in the chicken’s barn and he petted Betty any time she came up to him.

They did a quick check of the crops in silence, walking side by side through the fields of corn and through the vine. In the greenhouses, Steve took off his shirt and stole a tomato, eating it on the spot. Bucky allowed it, ‘just this once’.

Steve was surprised when they got to the flower garden, ‘you don’t seem like the type of man to grow flowers’, but equally delighted, ‘they’re so pretty’.

When it was time for lunch, Steve chopped vegetables for the salad while Bucky grilled them stakes, and once again, they ate on either sides of the table, with Betty taking turns in begging food from both of them. Steve relented more often than Bucky, but he asked before he gave her anything.

After that, Bucky admitted that he’s going to have to go through all the supplies Pepper sent and actually think about what he was going to do with the office.

Steve helped him, going through everything and yelling out measurements and materials as Bucky wrote it down.

When they were done, Bucky set up camp at the kitchen table, papers quickly covering it, plans for the office. When he snapped out of it two hours later, the kitchen smelled of chocolate and Steve was busy frosting cupcakes.

‘Where did you even find a piping bag?’, Bucky blinked.

‘I didn’t’, Steve didn’t even look up. ‘It’s just a plastic bag with a piping tip made out a spare piece of metal I found in the living room.’

‘Captain America can bake’, Bucky said slowly, in awe, making Steve flinch.

He didn’t say anything, but it was clear that he was uncomfortable. Bucky backtracked and made a note of never addressing him as ‘Captain’ ever again.

‘But the question is’, Bucky went on, hoping to diffuse the awkwardness, ‘is he any good at it?’

He got a smile for it and a cupcake. It was a good cupcake, chocolate chip with vanilla frosting.

‘I didn’t even know I had a cupcake tray’, Bucky said around a mouthful of sugar.

Steve smirked at that. ‘You didn’t. Pepper may or may not have snuck it in my bag.’

Bucky snorted at that.

‘So uh’, Steve tilted his head, not looking at him but working on the cupcakes again, ‘have you known Pepper and Tony long?’

Bucky stiffened, instantly closing off. But then he thought of Pepper, who must have thought this was okay, Steve being here was okay.

‘A little over five years’, he forced himself to say. ‘They helped me out with getting the farm up and running. And Stark designed the arm.’

Steve shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, it’s not any of my business. I won’t ask again.’

Bucky had no answer to that, and when Steve turned around, he was smiling, a bit.

‘So’, he sat down across from Bucky. ‘Have you figured out the office yet or do you need another set of eyes?’

Bucky shook himself off and started explaining what he needed, slightly delighted to hear the ideas Steve had for including a bigger desk and storage space easier to organize.

≡

The first week went on easily enough, Bucky was surprised to see. Steve fell into the routine of the farm, and he didn’t seem to mind it.

By now, they split up when checking the crops, they were familiar enough with each other to comfortably move around in the kitchen when they cooked and they even made jokes, every now and then.

Steve’s phone wrung every day. Sometimes, it was Natasha (Bucky has met Natasha before and he didn’t understand how someone could look so fond and soft around the edges when dealing with her). More often than not, it was someone called Sam. Steve talked to him every day for a couple of minutes, telling him everything that happened since the last time they spoke. It usually wasn’t much, but Steve said it anyway.

Bucky tried to give him privacy, but it was a hard thing to do when they were both in a barn or in the kitchen. But Steve didn’t seem to mind his presence, he didn’t leave the room when he spoke with his friends.

It was weird, Bucky thought. Because they have spent the last week in close quarters, but he didn’t know anything about Steve. Not much, anyway. It wasn’t that Bucky minded, he wasn’t a social person, but he thought…

He didn’t exactly know what he thought, but he thought that maybe he wanted to get to know Steve. Which was ridiculous.

≡

Sunday night, before they went to bed, Bucky told Steve that he had errands to run in town in the morning and that he was planning on starting work on the office later in the day, so Steve had the day off.

He took this with a frown on his face.

‘I’m gonna do some grocery shopping when I’m in town, too.’, Bucky added. ‘Do you need anything?’

‘No, I don’t think.’

Steve kept frowning, looking down at his hands, where they were somewhat clenched in his lap.

Bucky hesitated, but in the end it was Pepper’s voice in his head that urged him to ask the question.

‘Do you want to come with me? There’s not much to see in town, but-‘

‘I don’t want to bother you’, came Steve’s quick response, to which Bucky just rolled his eyes.

‘I leave at 9. Be ready by then if you wanna join me.’

Steve was ready by 8:30, and he even made pancakes for breakfast. He also teased Bucky for wearing jeans without any holes in them and for combing his hair, but he didn’t really mind.

He curiously eyed the crates of produce Bucky had already prepared that morning, but he didn’t comment on it, just helped him take them all out to the truck.

They didn’t speak during the car ride, Steve keeping his eyes on the fields they passed through.

On the first stop in town, Steve once again didn’t ask as Bucky took one of the crates and rang the doorbell. When he got back to the car with a plate of brownies, that’s when Steve asked. It was just a raise of his eyebrows, but it was a question nonetheless.

‘Got a few customers around town’, Bucky explained. ‘I bring them things every two weeks. Esther here’, he pointed at the house he was just in, ‘always makes me something sweet, always with way too much rum, and she always asks me if I’ve found love yet.’, he rolled his eyes.

‘Who even puts rum in _brownies_?’, Steve asked.

Bucky snorted. ‘Grandma Esther sure does. They’re good, though, try one.’

Steve did. And he groaned as he took the first bite, making Bucky snicker.

‘But does she pay you? I mean, real money, not sugar and rum.’

Bucky nodded. ‘They all do, yeah. It’s not much, I can’t exactly expect a lot of profit in a small town like this, but it’s okay.’

Steve opened his mouth, and somehow, Bucky knew was he was about to say.

‘If you offer me money, I’m gonna punch you in the face.’

Steve snapped his mouth shut, looking mildly apologetic. ‘But I’m living with you and-‘

‘And you’re pulling your weight’, Bucky countered, easily. And he was, Steve really was a huge help around the farm.

There were a few beats of wonderful silence.

‘I’m getting the groceries today’.

Bucky groaned. ‘You are not-‘

‘Yes I am.’, Steve countered, and it sounded like an order coming from Captain America. ‘You can get them next time.’

‘I’m… There’s no way I’ll sway you, is there?’

‘Nope’, Steve grinned. Bucky let it go.

≡

When Bucky was done with his customers, Steve was eyeing the backseat amusedly. Alongside Grandma Esther’s brownies there was also a plate of cookies, a jar of strawberry jam, a couple of bottles of lemonade, a couple of stakes and a chicken, and a bottle of some sort of alcoholic drink made from plums.

‘Hey, city boy’, Bucky scowled, ‘this is how things work in the country side.’

Steve laughed. ‘No, man, this is great. I just hope you’re getting your money’s worth.’

Bucky rolled his eyes and started driving to the grocery store.

They worked together on getting the food and supplies they needed, but it was only when they got to checkout did Bucky realize just how many stuff Steve got on his own.

He understood the tshirts and the hoodie. (‘It gets chilly at night’, ‘Steve, you could have asked for a blanket’,  ‘I’m not a fan of blankets’, ‘What the hell does that even mean, Steve?’). Bucky even understood the sugar, cocoa, food dye and piping bag.

What he didn’t understand were the beers, the bottle of whisky, the drawing pad and the Kindle.

‘I just thought we could use a nightcap after a long day’s work. Or, well, I could use one, if you don’t drink.’, Steve explained only half of it.

Bucky pointed to the Kindle.

‘I’ve been reading on my tablet, it hurts my eyes.’

Bucky pointed to the drawing pad. Steve blushed.

‘I draw sometimes.’

It was hard for Bucky to fully comprehend that this was Captain America standing in front of him. With his cheeks blushing, a raggedy cap pulled over his eyes, putting toilet paper into their grocery bags.

≡

Two days later, Bucky wandered into the kitchen before going to bed because he heard a baby screeching. Steve was in the middle of a video call, but he stopped Bucky from leaving.

‘You wanna see the latest mini-Hawkeye?’

Bucky made his way next to Steve, and on the monitor there was a young woman with dark hair and deep eyes, who was holding onto a screeching baby.

‘That’s Piedro?’, Bucky asked, getting a nod from Steve.

‘He’s fat’, Bucky pointed out, getting a glare from Steve and the woman both. ‘I mean, he’s cute. But he’s also fat.’

‘Wanda’, Steve said to the woman, ‘this is Bucky.’

Bucky realized he was looking at the Scarlet Witch holding onto Hawkeye’s youngest son, but it was as hard to comprehend as the fact that his shoulder was currently brushing Captain America’s.

‘So, Bucky.’, Wanda said, ‘How is Steve dealing with the farm life?’

‘Hey, now-‘, Steve was affronted.

‘Well’, Bucky tilted his head. ‘He hasn’t killed any animals yet. There was that one time he almost set a barn on fire, but-‘

‘That was an accident’, Steve punched his shoulder. It was the metal one, and it was the first time he deliberately touched Bucky, but neither of them flinched.

‘Sure, yeah’, Bucky shook his head before shrugging. ‘Not gonna lie, though, the super strength comes in handy.’

‘I bet it does’, Wanda said in a… _way_. Bucky didn’t understand the way she said it, but he didn’t think he wanted to.

‘It’s good, Wanda’, Steve said very softly. ‘I’m good, I’m getting there.’

Bucky wanted to ask, _getting where?_ , but he didn’t.

‘That’s good, Steve’, Wanda responded just as softly, but she was cut off by a rude ‘Hey, asshole!’

‘Douchebag’, Bucky answered without hesitation, even before seeing Clint’s face on the monitor.

‘Stark said you’re due for a service check.’

Bucky sighed, but agreed to talk to Friday. The phone call ended soon after, but Steve lingered in the kitchen, and so did Bucky.

‘Am I rude’, Steve started, ‘if I ask how you know Clint?’

Bucky shrugged. ‘Met him around the time I met Stark.’

That wasn’t an answer, and he knew it.

‘Right’, Steve said slowly, but thankfully, he didn’t press.

They went to bed after that, and Bucky thought it was going to be just another normal night.

It wasn’t.

At 3AM, he woke up with a start to the sound of Steve screaming. It was a horrible thing, like he was ripping his heart out of his chest and it sent a cold shiver down Bucky’s spine.

But it didn’t stop him, from getting up as quickly as humanly possible, grabbing his gun from the bedside drawer and rushing to Steve’s bedroom.

He got there just as Steve was running out of it, and he didn’t stop, Steve ran all the way down to the first floor, Bucky heard the front door opening.

Steve wasn’t screaming anymore, so Bucky checked the bedroom. It was clear, so he made his way downstairs, following Steve out of the house.

Captain America was crying on his lawn. He was on all fours, chest heaving sporadically‚ tshirt soaked with sweat. Betty was sitting next to him, not barking, not willing to play, just sitting there.

Bucky approached him slowly, kneeling in front of him, not touching. He also let his gun fall to the ground.

‘Steve’, he said slowly but with strength. ‘You’re alright. You’re safe, it was a nightmare.’

Steve nodded and tried, unsuccessfully, to catch his breath.

‘Come on’, Bucky coaxed him in the same tone. ‘Breathe with me, okay? Look at my chest.’

Steve did, and Bucky put a hand on his own chest to emphasize the movements. Steve tried to copy the rise and fall of Bucky’s chest and in a couple of minutes, he was out of the panic attack.

He all but fell on his ass, clearly exhausted, and Betty was quick to lay her head on his legs. Steve didn’t seem to mind. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his face and he tried looking up at Bucky, but his eyes fell on the gun. He blinked at it, slowly.

‘I thought something attacked’, was all Bucky said, to which Steve nodded.

‘I’m sorry’, he said shakily, which, for some reason, made Bucky’s anger spike.

‘Don’t, man’, he said gruffly. ‘Don’t even think about it.’

Once again, Steve nodded. Then, he pulled a face.

‘I should shower.’

Bucky didn’t hesitate. ‘I have a better idea.’

When Steve realized what he was doing, he kept looking at Bucky like he was insane. Which was understandable, he thought. But that didn’t stop Bucky from dragging two hoses onto the lawn, hooking up sprinklers to them and turning them on.

He also didn’t bother with taking off his clothes before stepping straight into the jet, the water quickly soaking him. Bucky gave Steve an expectant look, but it didn’t take long for him to make his way next to Bucky.

‘Shit’, he scrunched up his nose. ‘That’s cold!’

Bucky waited a minute, till his body grew accustomed to the cold water.

‘Temperature shock gave your body something to focus on’, he explained. ‘It helps me out after a panic attack.’

Steve didn’t seem surprise by this new information Bucky gave him. He must have figured it out on his own, which, yeah, that wasn’t really a surprise for Bucky.

When Steve sat down on the ground, not bothering about the mud he was getting on his pajama bottoms, Bucky sat down next to him.

‘You can talk about it, if you want’, Bucky said.

Steve shook his head. ‘I don’t want.’

‘I’ll understand, you know’, Bucky added.

‘I know. Just… not now.’

‘Okay’, Bucky nodded. ‘Do you want me to call Sam? Or someone else?’

Again, Steve shook his head. ‘I’ll talk to Sam in the morning.’

‘About that’, Bucky flinched. ‘I think I forgot to tell you that Stark’s coming over tomorrow morning. Routine check on my arm.’

Steve nodded. ‘Okay. I’ll take care of morning rounds.’

Bucky didn’t even bother trying to convince him not to.

≡

Steve came into the kitchen just as Stark was packing up his tool kit. He looked worse for wear, Bucky couldn’t help but notice. The dirt on his clothes and hands was normal, but the dark bags under his eyes and the chapped lips weren’t.

Still, Steve smiled at Stark and urged him and Bucky both to sit down. He wordlessly poured them all a glass of whisky (even though it was barely noon, but Bucky needed it after the checkup, he always did).

Steve also took out a cake from the fridge. It was pretty huge, three chocolate layers with After Eight’s in between, light green mint frosting and it had a ring of KitKat bars all around it, and more chocolates on top. Bucky did not see Steve make the cake, so he deduced he must have baked it last night. Which meant that he probably hasn’t slept, which, yeah, made a lot of sense.

Bucky didn’t plan on mentioning it, but Stark did, around a mouthful of cake.  

‘You look like shit, Rogers.’

‘Bad night’, was all Steve said, but it didn’t stop Stark.

‘And how many of those have you had here?’

Steve sighed, but answered anyway. ‘Just the one.’

‘Interesting’, Stark tilted his head.

Bucky shoved at him under the table. ‘Stop being an asshole.’

‘I’m not’, Stark had the audacity to seem affronted. ‘I was just going to point out that it’s okay for Steve to go to shit here, cause you know all about it.’

There was a loud silence that settled over the table, and Bucky realized that they were all waiting for his reaction.

‘I want to shove your face in the cake’, he told Stark, ‘but it’s a damn good cake and I don’t wanna waste it on your stupid ass.’

‘Fine’, Stark rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll let it drop, but that’s why I sent him here, you know’, he glared at Bucky. ‘So that you could fix him.’

That had Bucky slamming his fork on the table with a loud bank.

‘I told you not to say that’, he seethed at Stark. ‘PTSD is not something you fix.’

‘Learn to deal with, whatever’, Stark waved a hand.

‘Tony’, Steve said with that Captain strength, but Bucky stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder. Briefly.

‘Don’t even bother. He means well, but asshole is embedded in his DNA.’

‘Speaking of’, Stark cheerfully said. ‘Pepper’s upset you haven’t called her in a while.’

Bucky sighed and got up from the table. ‘I will. Now finish your cake and get the fuck away from here.’

He looked to Steve. ‘I need a shower and a nap but after that, we could start painting the office.’

Steve nodded, even if he didn’t look at Bucky, he was still glaring at Tony. Bucky left without another word.

≡

When he woke up, there was a plate of pasta waiting for him in the kitchen and the office was already taped off, waiting to be painted.

Steve wordlessly joined him, and they worked in silence for a while, time which Bucky spent thinking.

He has known, from the start, that Steve was sent here because he needed help. He just thought he wouldn’t have to have a direct hand in it. Bucky thought that maybe the silence, the routine, they’d help Steve. And they did, probably, but it was clear that it wasn’t enough.

Tony expected Bucky to tell Steve. Pepper probably did too.

But the thing was, the two of them and Clint were the only people in the world who knew the whole story. There were other people, sure, Shield and government officials, but they only knew bits of it.

Would it help Steve? Knowing what happened to Bucky?

Probably not. But it might help him to know that Bucky did understand what he was going through. To a degree, at least.

Maybe if Bucky talked, Steve would speak as well.

And damn, Bucky wanted Steve to talk to him. He wanted to help Steve.

It was ridiculous, they barely knew each other, they’ve met not even two weeks ago.

Still, Bucky took a deep breath and started talking. Not looking at Steve, still focusing on painting the wall in front of him, but he told his story, slowly and without much thought of choosing the words he used.

‘I was in the army for 5 years, did as many tours as I was allowed. About 6 years ago, I was part of a small team that was sent on a very secret mission, and we were captured. I was the only survivor.’

‘There was a… the leader of the gang that got me, he was the mad genius type. Somehow, he got his hands on Howard Stark’s old records, about the superserum.’

Steve gasped at that, but Bucky ignored him.

‘He tried to replicate it. Injected me with it. And he cut off my arm to test that it worked. It didn’t, but it did something else, made my mind more susceptible to mind control.’

He sneaked a brief glance at Steve. He was staring with wide eyes, roller completely forgotten in his hands, paint dripping onto his shoeless feet. Bucky went on.

‘I was kept for 6 months, because the military didn’t believe I was alive. My SO convinced them, somehow and… They managed to track me down in a cave. Apparently, the same cave where Iron Man was born.’

Bucky shook his head at that. ‘What were the odds?’

‘Anyway, Shield took over, Stark was called in to assist with information. He didn’t, he put on a suit and rescued me singlehandedly. He felt guilty cause he thought it was his job to keep his dad’s files hidden. So my arm became his pet project. And my head became Pepper’s. She… I can’t even remember how many people have been in my brain, trying to get rid of the mind control. They did it, eventually, but’, he swallowed thickly. ‘It wasn’t easy.’

He lowered his voice, but Steve could still hear him, they were all alone in a small room.

‘Pepper and Tony, they both helped a lot, obviously. Clint too, he stayed with me for a while. I got a lot of money from the government, and Pepper helped me find this farm and set it up. The arm is probably the best piece of tech Stark has ever done, after his suits. I’m sure the vet pension I’m getting wouldn’t have been this good if the two of them wouldn’t have been involved. They care about me’, he said softly. ‘And I’m pretty sure they sent you here thinking it’ll do both of us some good.’

It took a few beats, but Bucky managed to look at Steve.

The shock was gone from his face, replaced with a look that was more close to understanding than it was to pity.

‘I don’t think I can talk about it.’, Steve said, managing to sound pretty composed.

Bucky nodded. ‘That’s fine, I don’t like talking about it either. But I’ll do it, if you ever want to.’

‘We barely know each other.’

It was good that Steve was on the same page as Bucky.

‘Yeah’, he said. ‘S’weird.’

‘Am I…’, Steve hesitated. ‘You can ask me to leave.’

Bucky groaned and promptly splattered Steve with paint, ignoring his surprised yelp.

‘You can stay here for as long as you need, alright? You’re good help around the house and I don’t mind you. I thought I would, don’t get me wrong, I’m usually awful with people. But I’m good with you. Alright?’

It took a few seconds, but Steve nodded. ‘I can’t believe you wasted paint on me. What are you, twelve?’

And just like that, all the tension that was making Bucky choke disappeared, and they spent the rest of the day easily chatting nonsense as they painted, ate cake for dinner and had beers on the patio before going to bed.

≡

One day during Steve’s third week on the farm, they spent it cutting up wood for winter. Bucky was once again reminded of how ridiculously fit Steve was.

With his tshirt off and chest glistening with sweat, an axe in his hands and his jeans riding low on his hips, Captain America looked like a wet dream come true.

Or maybe just Bucky’s dream come true.

He didn’t have a problem with his sexuality, it’s just that he doesn’t really ever talk about it. Reminiscents of being in the army, probably. And he wasn’t used to this level of… attraction.

Bucky tried not to think about it. About Steve and his perfect abs and his ridiculously wide shoulders and his surprisingly narrow waist and … he had to take a cold shower that night.

≡

Steve was usually the first one up, but on the Sunday of the third week, Bucky woke up first.

He found a notebook on the kitchen table, the drawing pad Steve brought on that first grocery run, and a couple of colored pencils next to it, a red, a black, a white and a couple of variations of blue and purple.

It was probably rude and a breach of privacy, but Bucky opened the pad. The quality of the drawings was a surprise. They were sketches, usually with just a splash of color, but they were good.

Betty playing in the grass with a background of blue sky. A red mug on a black and white counter which Bucky recognized as his kitchen. A few people that he didn’t recognize, a few that he did: Wanda, Natasha and Clint.

And the last sketch in the notebook was a more detailed one, of him. Bucky’s face wasn’t visible, he had his back turned. It was a snapshot of the office, he realized, Steve immortalizing him as he was painting the wall. There were tins of paint at his legs, he was barefoot, his jeans were ripped exactly where they were in real life.

Did his back muscles really look like that?

It was all in black and white, soft lines but harsh shadows, and the only colors used were for his metal arm. Where grays and black should have been, Steve colored it in blues and purples. It looked alien and like it was glowing from within and it was a lie and it was beautiful.

Bucky quickly closed the pad and got out of there. He didn’t know why the drawing affected him so much, but it did. He couldn’t help but picture Steve drawing it, in the middle of the night on the kitchen table, hand moving swiftly as he remembered the way Bucky looked-

He couldn’t cope with that. Bucky’s brain couldn’t handle it, the fact that not only Steve decided to draw him, but also the fact that he looked close enough to notice the details of _him_.

Bucky couldn’t cope with that.

≡

‘I don’t know anything about you’, Steve said three days later, as they were picking up tomatoes.

‘You’re one of the four people who know everything that happened’, Bucky quickly countered.

‘But I don’t know …’, Steve hesitated, long enough for Bucky to pause in his work and look up at him.

‘I don’t know where you grew up’, Steve went on, hesitance in his eyes. ‘What you wanted to be when you were a kid, what’s your favorite book, which side of the bed you sleep on, who was your first kiss-‘

‘I get it’, Bucky interrupted him, because he did, because he wanted to know all of that about Steve, and more.

By now, he figured out they worked well together. The fact that they never fought in almost a month’s time, even if they barely knew each other but still spent almost every moment of the day together, that said a lot.

Bucky had no idea if they could actually be friends, in the full sense of the word, but it was clear that Steve was willing to try. And Bucky, well… he found himself wanting Steve in any way he could.

‘You can ask me stuff’, Bucky said, going back to his tomatoes. ‘But you have to answer the questions as well.’

He sneaked a glance and saw that Steve was smiling at him, giddy as a child.

They spent the rest of the day like that, Bucky answering questions, on an off. Stupid questions, easy questions, irrelevant questions.

It was good, Bucky thought. He and Steve were good, and they could be good friends moving on.

It wasn’t a solution, of course, for Steve’s nightmares or Bucky’s apprehension towards people, but it was something. 

≡

Each day, Bucky would think _I don’t understand Steve Rogers_. Usually, this was in response to some quirky thing he said or some weird thing he did.

But after a month of his stay, Bucky finally understood something incredibly important about Steve Rogers, and it happened while aliens attacked New York.

They had just finished letting the cows out when Steve’s phone pinged. He frowned as he looked at it, but an instant later, he paled.

He barely stammered out an ‘I have to go’ before sprinting back to the house. Bucky followed him immediately, but Steve was unnaturally fast, so he had been in the house for a couple of minutes before Bucky finally made it back.

Steve was pacing the living room, the TV was showing gruesome footage of the Avengers fighting in New York, Steve’s phone was put on speaker on the coffee table and he was arguing with Friday.

‘Send me a goddamn plane, Friday!’, Steve growled, and Bucky was taken aback with the ferocity in it.

‘I will if you order me, Captain, but there is no need.’

‘They’re fighting and-‘

‘My algorithms predict the fight will be over in less than 30 minutes. The plane won’t even reach you by then.’

‘Your algorithms don’t count for surprises’, Steve all but spit out. ‘What if something happens, what if-‘

‘They can handle it, Cap. They are handling it.’

‘Damn it, Friday!’, Steve punched the closest thing to him, the couch, leaving his clenched fist on it. ‘I can’t just stand here and do nothing!’

‘Wasn’t that the point of it, Steve?’, Friday said with a lot more softness that Bucky would have assumed she was capable of.

It seemed to catch Steve off guard, completely. He froze, panting heavily, staring blankly at the tv.

Bucky made his way to Steve’s side and slowly put a hand over his fist, unclenching it. Steve looked to him, then, but didn’t move to take his hand away.

‘Friday’, Bucky said, not looking away from Steve. ‘Are you sure of your… algorithms?’

‘Positive, Mr. Barnes.’, came the quick response.

‘Keep us updated’, he said with finality. ‘And when it’s over, have one of the Avengers call.’

‘Is than an order, Captain?’

It took a few shaking breaths, but Steve accepted, taking his hand away from Bucky’s hold.

Bucky pushed Steve to the couch and sat next to him, turning on the volume on the TV. For the next 30 minutes, they were both silent. The newscasters were loud enough, so were the explosions and lasers they could hear, and Friday texted every 5 minutes.

As most of the fighting died down, the news focused on the Scarlet Witch, who was facing the biggest alien head on. She was enveloping it in a haze of red, but it was clear it wasn’t an easy feat. Her hands were shaking, her nose was bleeding and at one point, she started screaming.

They saw the alien crumbling to the ground, but so did Wanda. And then the news cut off.

Bucky focused on Steve then. He was shaking, badly. His fists were clenched, he was breathing heavily and he was alarmingly pale. If he didn’t know better, Bucky would’ve thought that the man next to him wasn’t capable of ever touching a gun, let alone be in a fight. But he did know better, so it was very disconcerting to see Captain America so shaken up.

When his phone rang, Steve made no move to get it. So Bucky did, he answered and put it on speaker.

‘Friday?’, he said.

‘It’s Wanda’, came the response, which made Steve breathe out heavily.

‘Baby, how are you?’

Bucky willed himself not to react to the pet name.

Wanda scoffed. ‘Not well if you’re calling me that.’

Steve looked pained. ‘Babe’, was all he said, softly and almost whispering, and they heard Wanda sigh.

‘I’m okay. Gonna need a protein bar and an energy drink, but I’m okay. We all are. Clint broke his nose but’, she snorted, ‘it’s not the first time and Sam is very pissed off that he got alien blood on his wings.’

Steve all but collapsed against the couch, tension leaving his body, but his hands were still shaking. He wrapped them together in a poor attempt to hide it.

‘We’ll talk later, okay?’, Wanda said, uncertain. ‘After we all calm down.’

‘Yeah’, Steve said. ‘Yeah, okay, babe, get some rest.’

‘Don’t call me that!’, there was a bit more force in her voice, which made Steve smile.

After the call ended, Steve grabbed his phone and put it back in his pocket and he closed the TV. It took a while, but he finally looked at Bucky.

Who raised an eyebrow. ‘She’s the first girlfriend I ever met who doesn’t like pet names.’

Steve just stared at him, blinking a couple of times, before he burst into laughter.

‘Not like that’, he said between chuckles. ‘She’s the baby of the group.’

‘Oh’, Bucky blinked, not sure if he was relieved or not. He decided not to think about it.

‘You can have the day off’, he said next, expecting a fight.

It didn’t come. Instead, Steve just relented quickly enough, saying that he was going for a run.

He came back a couple of hours later, with a bottle of water he didn’t have when he left. Bucky asked about it, because there weren’t any shops or houses for miles.

‘Oh, I went to town and back.’

Bucky stared, horrified. ‘It’s 20 miles! And another 20 back.’

‘Uhm’, Steve said, blushing horribly.

‘Jesus’, Bucky breathed out, hand on his chest. ‘How are you even real?’

Steve shrugged and awkwardly left to take a shower. Bucky couldn’t look him in the eye for the rest of the day, which was a bad thing, because it meant that Bucky had to look at other parts of Steve and that was… problematic.

≡

Thing got harder for Bucky, after that.

On one hand, because Steve Rogers made a lot more sense to him knowing what fighting meant for Captain America. How the need to help was so deeply imbedded in his being, a lot higher than self preservation. Bucky understood it, to a point, so he understood Captain America, to a point.

On the other hand, Bucky couldn’t ignore it anymore, how much he wanted Steve Rogers. He wanted to undress him and pin him down and he wanted to run his hands and lips all over that impossible body. But at the same time, he wanted just to sleep next to Steve, to be able to run his fingers through his hair while complaining about his clients, he wanted to give him a massage when he returned from a fight, he just wanted Steve to let him _be there_.

It has been years since Bucky felt anything even remotely close to this and it was terrifying.

≡

A lot of things happened the day they finished the office.

For one, they finished the office and Bucky was incredibly pleased with the outcome. It was a space that urged him to work, somehow, but it was also calming, in a way, and he couldn’t wait to start decorating it with more than the desks and shelves they had installed.

Secondly, Steve said he would cook them dinner on his own. Bucky didn’t mind, even if it was odd. It was also a fancier dish than they usually went for, but it was delicious.

Thirdly, Steve stopped Bucky from starting on the dishes.

‘Can I talk to you about something?’

Bucky sat back down on the chair with a thump.

Steve looked at him for a few long seconds, but then he looked away, his eyes fixed to the bread basket in the corner of the table. When he spoke, he spoke slowly and clearly practiced, which was not a thing that Bucky enjoyed. Still, he listened.

‘What most people forget about me is that I was born in 1918. I died in ’44 and I’ve been on ice for 70 years.’

This was not new information for Bucky or anyone in the world.

‘What most people don’t comprehend about me is that 1944 felt like three years ago.’

Any response Bucky could’ve thought of quickly died down.

‘I learned this world. Internet, smartphones, automatic cars, polio vaccine. Aliens and robots. But I … I can’t get used to it.’

Steve looked back to Bucky, and he had to clear his throat before talking.

‘And you thought spending time on a farm will help you better get accustomed to the 21st century?’

‘No’, Steve shook his head. ‘I just thought it’ll be close enough to…’

‘But it’s not’, Bucky finished the thought when it was clear Steve wasn’t going to.

Steve shook his head, and didn’t offer anything else.

‘It’s okay if you want to leave’, Bucky said around the foul taste in his mouth. ‘I’m not going to stop you.’

‘No’, Steve said quickly, too quickly. ‘That’s not what I- Damn it, I’m saying this all wrong.’

‘What are you saying?’, Bucky asked slowly, utterly confused.

‘I told you before that I wasn’t ready to talk.’

Bucky’s mind instantly flashed to that night, to Steve’s scream and the wet clothes on his back.

‘I want to talk now’, Steve went on, blushing furiously, but managing to smile at Bucky. ‘I need someone to understand. If you’re still up for that.’

In response, Bucky got the bottle of whisky and lead Steve to one of the barns, climbing up on it.

They talked for the entire night, passing the bottle between them.

Bucky wasn’t good with talking, not about important things, but he was good at listening, and he was good as hiding his surprise.

Because he was surprised, to realize just how much Captain America had resting on his shoulders.

The fights that never really left him, the responsibilities of leading the Avengers and keeping them as sane and functioning as possible, training himself hard and training the others, those were things Bucky could understand.

The fear of team mates falling, the blood stains on his hands, the recklessness and desire to do anything in order to save the world, these were things Bucky could relate to.

The terror of fighting aliens and robots was something Bucky didn’t know how to deal with.

The overwhelming unknown of the 21st century, Bucky couldn’t relate to it.

Knowing that everyone you have ever known or cared for was long gone after living long lives, that was something Bucky couldn’t even think of understanding.

There wasn’t much he could say. There was no way in which anything he said would have comforted Steve.

So he didn’t say anything. He just listened. He didn’t know if it was doing Steve any good, but they sat on the roof for the entire night and in the morning, Bucky sent him to sleep with a soft touch to the shoulder.

And the gratefulness he could read in Steve’s exhausted eyes, that will be staying with him forever, Bucky was sure of it.

≡

Things changed after that, at least from where Bucky was standing.

Steve touched him… not exactly more, but differently. Before, they were comfortable with each other before, sure. They dealt in teasing punches and rough hipchecks to get their way.

Now, though, Steve’s fingers lingered. Just a few seemingly innocent seconds, in seemingly innocent places. Bucky’s shoulder, the back of his hand, the small of his back, his knees, his neck.

It left Bucky breathless each time. He did his best to hide it.

≡

‘Sam wants to visit’, Steve told him two and a half months into his stay. ‘I said I’ll meet him in town tomorrow, can I take the truck?’

Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Sam can have the couch.’

‘But I don’t want to-‘

‘Sam can have the couch’, Bucky strongly repeated. ‘And he can bring us whisky. The good kind, not the cheap shit we find around here.’

Steve didn’t fight him on it anymore.

≡

Barnes gave Steve the day off, working the farm by himself and thus giving them privacy.

So Sam didn’t properly spend time with him, but Steve didn’t really stop talking about him throughout the day. Just little things, little comments, oh Bucky likes to do this, oh Bucky did that, oh Bucky thinks that, oh Bucky told me that.

It was understandable, Sam thought, considering they spent the last two months being in each other’s pockets.

But he was wrong. So so so wrong. And that became clear when Bucky finally joined them for dinner.

He appeared in the kitchen freshly out of the shower, and Sam didn’t really hear him, but he heard the way Steve’s breathe caught and the way he had to clear his throat before talking.

Still, Sam didn’t dwell on it. Barnes was an attractive man, it was a normal reaction.

But then they started talking and well, Sam dwelled on it. Mostly because he was ignored, it was like Steve and Bucky forgot he was there.

Steve and Bucky bickered. Not the friendly type of bickering that Steve indulged in with Sam, or the rude type of bickering that defined Sam and Natasha’s friendship.

No, this was borderline flirty. It was hilarious to watch and only slightly embarrassing. Sam didn’t really think they were aware of doing it, because they acted like it was completely normal.

Normal for Bucky to tease Steve about his perfect abs and massive biceps. Normal for Steve to keep mentioning the way some old woman in town wanted to hook Bucky up with her granddaughter. Normal for Bucky to be smug about it and for Steve to grumble about it.

Normal for Bucky to know how Steve liked to eat toast and jam after dinner. Normal for Steve to remind Bucky to change his sheets.

Normal for them to touch each other every time they were close enough to do so. Normal for them to take turns giving Betty a bath. Normal for them to do their laundry together and not mind when their clothes would get mixed up.

Normal to have a grocery list on the fridge and for them to bicker about what to add to it. Normal for Steve to bake a cake Sunday evening and for Bucky to be in charge of decorating it.

Normal for them to take their shirts off when they were out working in the sun. Normal to fight over who got to shower first.

Steve called him Buck. Barnes called him Stevie.

His last night there‚ Sam tried talking to Steve about it. He denied everything, told Sam that he was imagining things. He sounded pretty convinced of it, actually‚ so Sam let it drop.

He was pretty certain, though, that it will all blow up in Steve and Bucky’s faces, sooner or later.

≡

Sam cornered Bucky right before he left, as Steve was busy packing Sam’s luggage into the car.

‘What?’, Bucky sighed. ‘Is this the part where you threaten me if I don’t take good care of Steve or some shit like that?’

Sam was staring him down. Not glaring, exactly, but like he was looking for something.

‘Are you straight?’, Sam asked very evenly, taking Bucky off guard.

He had half a thought to deflect, somehow, but it was clear that Sam wasn’t going to let it drop. So Bucky answered, a simple shake of his head.

‘He’s not either’, Sam said, tilting his head to where Steve was just making his way back into the house.

Well fuck, Bucky thought, heart beating rapidly and thoughts quickly running away from him.

Well _fuck._

≡

Bucky tried not to think of it, really he did. He tried to act normally around Steve, he went out of his way to not say anything even remotely flirtatious. He even tried not to touch Steve as much, but that was useless considering how often Steve touched him.

Usually, Bucky was a strong man. Everybody always said so. But when it came to Steve, it looked like he wasn’t. Because he asked, one morning when they were in the garden, picking up flowers they were going to deliver to Bucky’s clients to town.

‘How come you don’t date, man?’, Bucky leveled his voice. ‘I can only imagine how many people want to fall into Captain America’s lap.’

Steve snorted. ‘Who the hell has time for dating, anyway? Or the nerves for it, really.’, he mumbled under his breath.

‘Are you telling me that Captain America has no game?’, this was okay, this was teasing.

Steve glared at him. ‘Captain America is nothing more than Steve Roger. And he spent most of his life being a 5’4’’ skinny, sickly, dumbass.’

‘Don’t get that tone with me’, Bucky glared right back. ‘I was just asking.’

‘Well you got your answer’, Steve rolled his eyes. ‘Plus…’, he seemed hesitant, and he didn’t look at Bucky when he spoke. ‘I’m really not the type of man to go for hook ups’, he pulled a face. ‘And I’d like someone to want to date Steve Rogers, not Captain America.’

He was blushing furiously, obviously flustered. Bucky probably enjoyed seeing it too much.

‘I get it’, he said.

Steve shrugged again. ‘I don’t even know what dating _means_ anymore. In my head, it’s still sharing a milkshake in a diner and taking them dancing.’

Bucky couldn’t help but notice the _the_ used instead of _her_.

‘It’s still that’, is what he said. ‘Maybe just a little different. The concept is the same.’

Steve snorted. ‘It’s not. It’s really not.’

Suddenly, Bucky grinned, willing Steve to meet his eye.

‘I can teach you if you want.’

Steve laughed. ‘Oh cause you’re so out and about with the ladies?’

He did have a point there, Bucky realized. He let the subject drop, even though it nagged at him for the rest of the day, that he just missed the perfect opportunity to tell Steve he was gay.

≡

Pepper e-mailed Bucky a bunch of things that he was supposed to do in order to start his own business. She said she’d send someone to help him with perfecting the documents he needed to submit, but that he should do them on his own, for starters. It was easier to correct things that write them from scratch.

D’uh, Bucky thought, at 2AM in his brand spanking new office, loosing another night poring over the documents.

He didn’t mind doing it, he was excited by the thought of making his farm into a proper business. But it was so tedious, all this paperwork. And he had to do it at night, because he had to work the farm during the day.

And he was so very tired.

There was a knock on the door, and when he turned around, Steve was leaning against the doorframe, Betty sitting by his feet.

‘You gonna sleep anytime soon?’, Steve asked around a smile.

‘Not really’, Bucky admitted. ‘Pepper’s sending someone over tomorrow, I have to get these done.’

Steve didn’t say anything else, he just made his way into the office and placed a cup of coffee on the desk.

‘Thank you’, he sighed, taking a large sip of it.

Steve lingered, curiously looking over the papers spread over the desk and the ones opened on the laptop.

‘Did you think of a name?’, he asked.

Bucky snorted. ‘That’s the last thing I’m going to think of. It’ll probably end up being something ridiculous like _Bucky Barnes’s natural food for a natural heart_.’

Steve pulled a horrified face. ‘How about no?!’

He pulled out his drawing pad from somewhere on his person, opening it and putting it in front of Bucky, over all the papers.

There was a drawing, a logo, Bucky realized. A cute little barn, that he recognized as a stylized version of the one he had the chickens in. And over it, in playful letters, colored bright yellow, the words “Bucky’s Barns” stood out.

He loved it. Immediately and immensely.

‘It’s just an idea’, Steve said, clearly uncertain.

‘I’m gonna need it digitalized’, Bucky looked up.

Steve looked startled, but he recovered quickly. ‘I can do that.’

‘And I want the letters in red.’

‘Okay, sure, that’s…’, Steve frowned. ‘You don’t have to-‘

‘It’s great’, Bucky stopped him with a hand on his arm. ‘I … really like it, Steve. Thank you.’

Steve was blushing slightly. But he smiled, nodding and taking the notebook away. He left, but came back a couple of minutes later with his own laptop and a digital drawing tablet. He set camp on the small couch they got in town last week, and they were both silent for the next couple of hours‚ Betty snoring softly in a corner.

They were both done just in time to have a quick breakfast and feed the animals. That’s all they did, though, coming back to the house for a shower.

When the doorbell rang, Bucky was the one to open it.

‘Pepper!’, he said, surprised.

‘Darcy!’, Steve said, surprised.

The two women grinned. Pepper hugged Bucky, while the other woman went to Steve.

‘I thought you said you were going to send someone’, Bucky mumbled against Pepper’s hair.

‘I did send someone, and that someone is me. And Darcy.’

Bucky hugged her tighter, because he hasn’t seen her in months, too many months, and she was here now, here to help him again, wearing jeans, a scuffed pair of chucks and what Bucky was sure was one of Stark’s tshirts.

‘I missed you’, he admitted.

It got him a kiss on the forehead and a large grin from Pepper. And then he got introduced to Darcy, a small battery of a young woman that called him Buckaroo and shamelessly flirted with him.

The three of them spent a couple of hours in the office, working on the documents. Meanwhile, Steve cooked them lunch and he all but dragged them to the kitchen when it was time to eat.

It was nice, though. Bucky cared about Pepper a great deal, and he took great pleasure in having her around. Darcy was a fun person, and Bucky enjoyed seeing her interact with Steve. Once again, they were borderline flirting, but Bucky saw that it was all done in good fun.

It took the better part of the day for them to wrap up everything, but when they were done, Bucky had a couple of thick folders filled with everything he was going to need. He knew where to go and submit them, he knew what to expect from the checkups that were bound to follow, he knew he had to wait.

But he was going to have a business. He was going to make _Bucky’s Barns_ a real thing, an almost tangible thing. Six years ago, Bucky didn’t think he’ll be able to survive. And now… and now.

Pepper wanted a tour, and Darcy was willing to come along. So Bucky and Steve walked them around the farm, laughed at Darcy’s yelp when one of the cows made a pass to lick her face, helped Pepper escape the rage of one of the chickens. Steve made them flower crowns and they both stuffed their cheeks with grapes, straight off the vines.

Darcy rolled around in the grass with Betty, and when that happened, Pepper hugged Bucky and told him in a low voice that she was very proud of what he has accomplished and that she could see that Steve was so much better here.  

And now… Bucky felt like he will never be able to stop smiling.

≡

Bucky got drunk a couple of days later when he got a huge delivery, thousands of stickers and paper to brand his produce with. _Bucky’s Barns_ , bright red, Steve’s drawing, gleaming on everything.

He drank till the room was spinning, till there were two Steve’s laughing at him, till he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

Bucky woke up on the couch in the living room, a blanket draped over him, a glass of water and aspirins waiting on the table, alongside a note from Steve, urging him to take the day off.

He didn’t even feel embarrassed for making a full out of himself in front of Steve. But it was clear that Steve did, because when they saw each other again, Steve blushed a deep red and couldn’t meet his eyes.

‘Oh no’, Bucky sighed. ‘What did I do?’

‘Nothing bad’, Steve was quick to assure. ‘It’s just that, well. I mean, you-‘

‘Spit it out, man’.

Steve sighed. ‘You came out. To me. I mean, you didn’t come _on_ to me, you just said you… yeah, uh. Liked guys.’

Bucky was probably as red as Steve was. Still, he squared his shoulders.

‘Is that a problem for you?’

Steve paled, instantly. ‘No, of course not. I’m not… that straight either. It’s just that you must have had a reason not to tell me before, and now you did and I don’t want… to make you uncomfortable.’, he finished, meekly.

Bucky shrugged. ‘So don’t make me uncomfortable.’

It took a while, but Steve’s blush died down as he nodded. ‘Okay.’

Another pause. ‘So’, Bucky couldn’t help but grin, ‘Captain America is not that straight.’

‘Oh, shut up’, Steve lightly punched his shoulder.

‘Hey, no, it’s good that you can say it out loud, man. That’s the first step towards acceptance.’

Steve sighed, looking away. ‘ _I’ve_ always accepted it. But most people wouldn’t have, you know, before.’

It’s not like Bucky hadn’t thought about it. Ever since Sam told him, Bucky tried imagining it, how it would be like to be gay in War World II. It was another thing he couldn’t wrap his head around, and it was another reason for which he respected Steve to no end.

‘Good thing that’s not the case anymore’, he finally said. ‘Does Stark know?’

Steve snorted. ‘Yeah, they all do, now. Clint took me to a gay bar,-‘

‘Of course he did’, Bucky snorted.

‘And Stark asked me if I had the hots for his dad.’

Bucky blinked twice. ‘Did you?’

Steve shook his head, looking a bit wide eyed. ‘Psychotic genius really isn’t my type.’

Bucky snickered because form what he gathered, the two Stark men were a lot alike.

He probably should have finished the conversation then, but he didn’t. Instead he tilted his head and willed his voice to sound normal.

‘But what’s your type, then?’

Steve looked at him then, too intense for Bucky to be comfortable about it.

‘I’ll let you know when I find out’, was all Steve said, somehow making Bucky’s heart fall out of his chest.

≡

Every two weeks, Bucky would pack up as much produce he could fit into his truck and make his way two towns over, selling his stuff at a farmer’s market. It was good business, if not a bit exhausting, spending the day out in the sun, dealing with people.

Steve didn’t usually join him, saying it was too out in the open for Captain America. But today he wanted to come. He made a big thermos of coffee, put on a cap and a too large plaid shirt and joined Bucky.

He was helpful throughout the day, and luckily, nobody recognized him. When there was a lull and they weren’t swamped with customers, Steve would wander around the fair, always coming back with something. A plate of cookies, some homemade chocolate, a bottle of ale, a pillow that apparently will look great in Bucky’s living room.

It was a nice day, they made good money, but they were both tired when they got home. Still, they quickly made the rounds, feeding the animals and playing with Betty.

They ate leftovers and it was clear that they were going to go straight to bed.

But something happened. As they were washing the dishes, Steve turned around just as Bucky did, there was a noise or something, and it made them both pause.

They were standing close, too close. Their sides were pressed together, Steve’s warmth seeping through Bucky’s clothes.

There was something in the air, maybe. Something that made them both slow their breathing. They were eye to eye, it felt like they have never been this close before.

It felt like the start of a war, and the end of one. It felt suffocating and like drowning and Bucky felt a shiver run through him.

Steve’s eyes skipped away from Bucky’s, just a bit lower on his face, to his lips.

There was something in the air, maybe, and it felt wonderful and terrifying.

Steve opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything. He inched closer, just a bit, just half an inch.

Bucky bolted. He all but ran out of the kitchen, thanking Steve for his help during the day and wishing him a good night.

He was up for a long time, though, thinking of how much of a coward he was, of how much he had wanted it to happen, for Steve to close the distance between them, of how scared he was of it actually happening.

He couldn’t unsee it, the slight redness on Steve’s cheeks, the way his lips were slightly wet, the look in his eyes. The curious look, the excited spark.

Bucky was an idiot.

The next day, Steve acted like nothing happened, like nothing changed, like everything was normal.

Bucky was the biggest idiot in existence.

≡

Two nights later, he woke up to Steve screaming. He didn’t take his gun this time, and Steve wasn’t running out of his bedroom as he got there.

Bucky wordlessly sat down next to Steve on the bed as the other man was calming himself down, and he didn’t say anything. He didn’t touch Steve either.

‘I’m sorry’, he finally said. ‘I usually manage to not be so loud.’

That had Bucky floored. ‘I didn’t know you still had nightmares.’

Steve only shrugged to this.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’, Bucky said with a lot more force than he should have.

Again, Steve shrugged.

‘How am I supposed to help you if you don’t talk to me?’

Finally, Steve looked up at that. ‘You can’t help me with this. The nightmares will never go away.’

Bucky willed his anger to fade. ‘How often?’

‘Just a couple of times a week. They’re not usually this bad.’

‘Damn it, Steve’, Bucky whispered.

Steve looked away. ‘I am better, though. It used to be a lot worse.’

‘That’s not enough.’

Again, Steve shrugged. But he also laid back down on the bed.

‘I’m tired’, he said around a yawn.

It took a long time for Bucky to be able to move, to leave the room and go back to his own bed. By the time he left, Steve was asleep, breathing slowly through his partially open mouth, and his hand was almost on top of Bucky’s thigh.

≡

The next evening, Steve announced that he thought it was time for him to go back home.

Bucky wasn’t used to shots like these anymore. To the hurt in his chest and the disappointment in his heart.

‘It’s not helping anymore?’, was what he managed to say.

Steve shrugged, not looking at Bucky, not at all.

‘If you think there’s nothing more for you here, then I’m not going to stop you.’ Bucky’s voice was too low, but Steve heard it nonetheless, because he looked up.

‘You tell me.’

It sounded like a challenge to Bucky’s ears, and he couldn’t handle it. He didn’t understand what Steve wanted, except that he did, but he couldn’t comprehend it, except that he wanted it.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything, except control his breathing and stare at the most beautiful thing he has ever touched.

Steve sighed, and moved to leave and that, that was what made Bucky move.

He grabbed a hold of Steve’s wrist, and when he turned around, Steve looked tired. Disappointed.

‘I should go’, Steve said in a straight voice, no emotion evident.

Bucky shook his head, looking down at Steve’s chest for a beat before meeting his eyes.

‘Okay’, he breathed out, and kissed Steve.

It didn’t feel like a lot, but it felt important. The kiss was short and close mouthed, just a quick press of lips, really. Just Bucky’s heart beating rapidly in his ribcage, just Steve freezing completely.

Bucky let go of Steve’s wrist and took a step back.

‘Okay’, he said, voice wrecked, ‘but I needed to do that.’

Steve nodded once, stiffly, and turned around, leaving the kitchen.

Bucky took a deep, shaking breath, running his fingers over his lips. That’s all he had time to do before Steve came back into the kitchen, rushed in, really, an angry but determined look in his eyes.

Steve didn’t stop until he was right in front of Bucky, staring at him with wide eyes.

‘Damn it’, he whispered, before bringing his hands up to Bucky’s face, and kissed him.

This kiss was not short and it was not gentle. It was Steve pushing at Bucky’s body until it was pressed against the kitchen counter, it was Steve’s fingers pulling at Bucky’s hair until he took it all out of the pony tail he had it in. It was Bucky’s metal fingers pushing against Steve’s back, bringing their bodies closer still, and his flesh fingers resting on Steve’s chest, counting every heartbeat.

It was Steve who pulled away first, but his fingers remained wrapped around Bucky’s face, and he didn’t move his body away.

‘Stay a while longer’, Bucky whispered. ‘Just a while.’

Steve nodded, and kissed him again.

And again. And again.

They went to bed soon after, because they had an early start the next morning, but it was only 20 minutes of Bucky rolling around alone in his sheets before Steve came knocking at his door.

‘I know it’s weird, but-‘

‘Come here’, Bucky interrupted him, and Steve sighed, relieved.

He was still blushing, and he kept on blushing, as Bucky pinned him down on the bed, as he bit on his neck, as he took off their shirts, as he settled himself comfortably between Steve’s legs.

They kissed for hours, not doing much more than exploring the exposed skin they had access too, but it was more exhilarating than anything Bucky has ever done in the past six years.

Just the sound of Steve breathing Bucky’s name against his neck was enough to make any sense of awkwardness disappear completely.

They fell asleep in a tangled mess, and Steve didn’t have any nightmares.

≡

Maybe they were moving too fast, but they’ve known each other for almost five months. That’s what Bucky argued with himself in the next week.

They traded sleepy kisses over their breakfast. They took makeout breaks when they fed the animals. And when they checked on the crops and when they cooked lunch and dinner and... there were a lot of breaks.

The makeout sessions quickly evolved into something else, and that needed to change into something more pretty early on and…

Steve fell to his knees and blew Bucky in the kitchen, lifting him up to sit on the counter. It took a paintastically long time to finish, because Steve was a teasing asshole who didn’t care how much Bucky begged. But he couldn’t really complain, considering he screamed so loudly that Betty started barking outside, and his metal fingers made a dent in the kitchen counter.

As a thank you, Bucky dragged Steve to the shower and made him come twice.

Their nighttime routine changed after that, obviously, and Steve didn’t even try to sleep in his room anymore.

≡

The call came two weeks later, and it was from Natasha. Steve didn’t even hesitate in putting it on speaker.

‘Thor’s back’, the Widow said. ‘Bruce too, and they have information on Thanos.’

‘Who?’, Steve frowned.

‘He’s a big scary alien’, Natasha’s voice cracked, surprisingly. ‘He’s the reason the infinity stones keep popping up. He wants them. Steve, he almost has all of them. And he’s gonna…’, she sighed.

‘I’m sorry’, she said next, ‘but we need you.’

Bucky saw the moment Steve realized he had to leave. He saw it, because he saw the way he closed his eyes and clenched his fists, his back straightening and he swallowed thickly.

‘Send a plane’, Steve said strongly. ‘I’ll be ready.’

≡

It didn’t take long for him to pack, and he found Bucky in the kitchen, back against a counter, staring at his feet, blinking slowly.

Steve’s heart was beating something ridiculous, because he didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to go to New York and fight a terrifying alien, he wanted to stay here.

He wanted to stay with Bucky, in his arms and in his house and-

‘Damn it’, he sighed, making Bucky look up.

He smiled, but it didn’t look happy, not even close.

‘It’s okay, Steve. We both knew this’ll happen. There wasn’t any way we could’ve…’, he shrugged. ‘You know, for a long time.’

‘But I wanted it’, Steve admitted, and Bucky’s smile grew, just a bit.

‘That’s nice to know.’

Steve made his way to Bucky’s side, and the other man didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist. They just hugged for a while, Steve taking deep breaths against Bucky’s chest, fingers clutching at his shirt.

‘Can I get a kiss?’, Bucky whispered. ‘One last-’

Steve kissed him before he could finish the sentence.

It felt wrong‚ so wrong‚ walking away from Bucky and his barns. It felt like the biggest mistake of Steve's life, and it felt like he was never going to be able to fix it. As soon as he stepped into the quinjet, it felt like there was something missing from inside of him.

That, at least, was not a new feeling. So he straightened his back, wiped his face clean and asked a detailed report from Friday.

≡

It only took six hours, for Bucky. Six hours till night fall, and 10 minutes after he laid in bed.

That’s all it took for him to call Friday and demand a ride. And guns.

For once, Friday was completely silent. Then:

‘The only downfall is that there wouldn’t be anyone there to take care of your animals and crops.’

‘So send someone.’, Bucky argued.

Then Friday put Stark on the line, who was annoyed and kept saying that ‘Now is not a good time to chat, Barnes.’

‘I want in’, Bucky cut him off. ‘And I want guns.’

There was a very lengthy pause. ‘This is way above what your pay grade has ever been.’

‘I can handle it’. Bucky must have said it in a certain way, or Stark must have read something in his tone, because he sighed, deeply.

‘Pepper’s gonna yell at me.’

Bucky snorted. ‘So will Steve. Now come on, put Friday on.’

Tony did exactly that, and two hours later, Bucky was on a quinjet heading to New York, while Darcy and two other people were in charge of keeping his farm up and running.

≡

When Friday directed him to Stark’s lab, all of the Avengers were there. Around a holotable, listening to Steve intently.

Of course, everybody paused and stared at Bucky when he came in. Except for Stark, who took a pointed step away from Steve.

Steve, whose eyes were wide and who didn’t look like he was breathing anymore.

‘What are you doing?’, he asked in a whisper.

‘Lending a hand’, Bucky said, making his way to his side.

That was the wrong thing to say, clearly, because Steve looked angry. Furious, really, glaring very strongly at Bucky.

‘From what I heard’, Bucky didn’t look away from him, ‘you need all the help you can get.’

‘You haven’t fought in years’, Steve said slowly, controlled. ‘And this is… way worse than any war Earth has ever had.’

Granted, the talk of Earth and the implied aliens made Bucky pause. But not for long.

‘I can handle it’, he said strongly.

Steve laughed a bit, shaking his head. ‘You can’t.’

Bucky knew him well enough to know that there wasn’t any way in which he could convince Steve. Not through words, anyway.

So he took a step closer to Steve, making his eyes grow wide. Then, Bucky smirked, in sync with wrapping his metal fingers around Steve’s neck and lifting him up the ground. Easily.

Thankfully, none of the Avengers jumped on him.

Steve tried to force himself out of Bucky’s hold, but he couldn’t. He tried kicking his feet at him too, but Bucky easily blocked those hits with his free hand.

When Steve’s face started turning red because of the lack of oxygen, Bucky easily threw him to the other side of the room. Captain America landed with a thud and a groan, back leaning against the wall, breathing heavily.

‘Jesus Christ’, Steve breathed out.

‘I did that’, Tony piped up, proudly. ‘I made the arm.’

Bucky turned around and looked to the Avengers, who were all watching him with various degrees of shock. Except for Clint (who was grinning) and Natasha (who was smirking).

‘Well?’, Bucky said, slowly. ‘Did I pass the test?’

There was a lengthy pause.

‘Mr. Stark’, Friday’s voice came through. ‘Captain Barnes’ suit is ready.’

‘Captain?!’, Steve wheezed out, finally getting up off the floor.

Bucky smirked at him. ‘It’s okay, I’ll let you be in charge.’

It was clear that Steve wanted to say something, argue, probably, but Bucky didn’t let him. Instead, he turned to Stark.

‘I get a suit?’

‘Oh do you ever’, Tony nodded, excited.  ‘And Romanoff’s in charge of your guns.’

Bucky nodded, satisfied.

Steve wasn’t glaring at him anymore, not really, he now looked … surprised. Slightly in awe.

‘Come on, dumbass’, Bucky told him fondly, ‘get me up to date.’

Steve took a deep breath, and he did exactly that.

≡

Bucky was in New York for a month, time in which the world ended about 6 times. He had a direct part in saving it each time.

Three days in, Wanda made a remark, about how every time he put the suit on, Bucky was colder than usual. Ruthless, heartless, icy. Clint was the one to dub him _The Winter Soldier_. Sam was the one to call him _Winter_ over the coms. The nickname stuck and it somehow (probably Pepper) got to the press.

A week in, when that story ran, about Winter Soldier, the new Avenger, Wanda was very happy.

‘You get to be called _baby_ now!’

Bucky snorted. ‘It’s not like Steve hasn’t moaned that one before.’

‘Oh’, Wanda breathed out. ‘ _Oh_ ’.

Bucky couldn’t help but grin, especially when he saw how red Steve’s face was.

≡

Over the course of two years, _Bucky’s Barns_ gained a lot of success. He bought more land to grow crops on, he built a couple of more barns, he hired people when it was too much work for only one person, he build a house for the employees to stay in.

 _Bucky’s Barns_ had a stand at every farmer’s market in a 200 mile area. It had contracts with local grocery shops, providing for them every day. It had a website, a contract with a local delivery service, so they were able to do home delivery, while the stock permitted it.

Bucky still lived in his house on the property. He still helped feed the animals sometimes, he still took part in taking care of the crops, more often than not.

Sometimes, Steve helped. He usually stayed in New York during the week, doing Captain America things, but he was always at the farm on weekends and whenever he could take a day or two off.

And sometimes, The Winter Soldier was needed to fight alongside the Avengers. He did so, but the press always noticed that even in the middle of a fight, he never left Captain America’s side.

What the press didn’t notice were the kisses stolen in the middle of a fight, hiding behind cars or in deserted alleys, Steve and Bucky pumped with adrenaline and the fucked up sort of happiness they got while fighting side by side.


	35. Shuri&Peter, Shuri&Bucky: I’m an Avenger, damn it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After he gets back on the ground from Thanos' weird space thing, Peter makes his way to the Avengers facility. Of course, Mr. Stark is quick to dismiss him, but he stands his ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT? AN UPDATE? IT'S A MIRACLE.
> 
> I know this is very far from what's gonna happen, but this one is, at the very least, stupidfun.

The first thing Peter did once he got his feet back on Earth was to kiss the cement. The second thing was to call May, let her yell at him for a while and then tell her that he’s going to be late coming home, he needed to talk to Mr. Stark. He also answered the frantic texts from Ned, promising to talk to him later.

It took awhile to get to the Avengers facility. Karen plotted a course, which was helpful, but Peter still had to be the one to jump from one truck to another, even a car of two. Truthfully, he was exhausted. His knees were trembling and his right ankle felt wrong. But he pushed through and walked the last mile on foot, and he made it.

He stepped inside in full Spider-Man suit, cowl on his face, limping and honestly, kind of shaking. There were a lot of people in the main foyer, a lot of security, but nobody stopped him, and they were all staring. As he made it to the elevator and waited for it to make its way down, the receptionist snapped out of it and hurried to his side.

‘Mr. Stark is in the lab on the 5th floor, but I don’t know if you have clearance for that.’

‘He does.’, Karen said loudly enough that the lady heard her.

‘The infirmary is on the 3rd level, you definitely have clearance for that.’

Peter wanted to be angry, but the nice young lady said it softly and she grabbed his shoulder gently.

‘Thank you, miss, but I’m fine. I just really need to talk to Mr. Stark.’

The elevator arrived then, and she let him get on it. He should have been anxious, probably, because he knew that there was no way Mr. Stark was alone in the lab, but there were bigger problems, like a purple evil alien attacking Earth.

When the elevator stopped moving and the doors opened, Peter limped his may inside of the lab. Nobody paid him any attention, even though there were a lot of people there.

Mr. Stark, yes, but all of the rest of the Avengers, and then some. Black Widow, Captain America and the Winter Soldier, Falcon, War Machine, Scarlet Witch, Vision. Even Thor and Dr. Banner were there, and so was King T’Challa, standing next to a young woman Peter didn’t recognize, but was clearly from Wakanda. There was a guy who looked like a D&D warlock character, complete with white strands of hair. Loki was there too, which Peter did a double take at, but nobody seemed to want to kill him, so he figured it was alright.

They were clearly discussing the strange alien artifact that appeared on the New York sky not to long ago. Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner and Thor were having a mildly violent conversation about what the thing was. They were all wrong.

Barnes was the first one to notice Peter. He didn’t say anything, but he frowned at him, long and hard. Peter loudly cleared his throat, making all the heads in the room snap in his direction.

Mr. Stark groaned, heavily annoyed. ‘Kid, no, what the hell are you doing there? No, I told you. If we need you, I’ll call. Go home, you wouldn’t want Aunt May to find out your secret, would you?’

Peter sighed. ‘Too late for that, Mr. Stark.’

He took off his cowl.

‘Tiny white boy.’, the young woman next to T’Challa said, and Peter pulled a face at her.

‘Karen, can you connect to the computers here?’

‘Of course I can.’, she actually sounded a little affronted.

‘Pull up the footage from before, please.’

There were several monitors in the lab, and they all started showing camera footage from Peter’s suit. It showed him jumping to the weird space thing, hanging on to it as it made its way up and up and up. The camera placed on his chest picked up Peter taking off his cowl when the air got too thick, and the audio sensors picked up his yelp when the thing started circling around itself. But it also picked up Peter’s terrified scream when he got a shock to his skin and his mind. The footage as he was falling back to Earth was vertigo-inducing, but nobody looked away.

‘Crazy tiny white boy.’, the same girl as before said, somewhat in awe.

Peter stuck his tongue out at her. ‘Hi, I’m Peter, your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, and I’m kind of close to an adrenaline crash. I also know there’s an evil purple alien on his way to destroy Earth and most of the rest of the universe.’ He glared at Mr. Stark. ‘Am I allowed to stay now?’

Everyone was staring at him with various levels of shock, but Mr. Stark’s face was the best, because his jaw was actually dropped.

Rogers and Barnes were the first to move. While Captain America headed to the other part of the lab, Barnes came by Peter’s side, grabbing his arm and shoving him, somewhat gently, into a chair. It was a good thing, too, because Peter’s knees were shaking very hard by that point. Rogers came back, with a bottle of Gatorade that he opened before shoving it in Peter’s hands.

‘Thank you.’, he said, before gulping down half the bottle. ‘Karen, pull up the specs you managed to get from the thing.’

Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner read it in silence, while Peter kept drinking the Gatorade under Captain America and the Winter Soldier’s watchful gaze. When he was done, Cap gave him a protein bar and a chocolate one. He had half a mind to refuse them, but both of the men were glaring at him, so Peter relented.

They both pulled a disgusted face when Peter took both of the bars out of their wrappers and shoved them in his mouth at the same time, but he was a growing boy and honestly, he was on the verge of a panic attack. He needed the protein and sugar asap.

‘While interesting, this doesn’t tell us what it is.’, Dr. Banner turned to Peter.

‘Right.’, he nodded. ‘But when it zapped me, it also gave me a vision.’

‘What kind of vision?’, Thor came to his side, as well. ‘About Thanos?’

‘Oh, so you know about him.’, Peter gulped. ‘That’s good, that’s nice, it means I didn’t go completely crazy, great.’

Thor kindly grabbed his shoulder. ‘What did you see?’

‘That thing is a portal. It’s going to open when his army is ready, and Thanos is going to come here for the rest of the Infinity Stones.’

‘The rest?’, Thor said slowly.

‘He has two already-’

‘The Aether and the Tesseract.’, Thor nodded.

‘And he knows where the rest of them are.’

‘And do you know where they are?’, Cap asked.

‘One’s with Vision, the other one with…’, he waved a hand towards the glowing green necklace the wizard was wearing, ‘him. Another one is with, and this is going to sound crazy, but it’s somewhere in space, guarded by a talking racoon who likes shooting lasers.’

‘It’s guarded, good.’, Thor didn’t bat an eye.

‘And the last one’s in Wakanda.’

‘No it’s not.’, T’Challa bristled.

‘I’m sorry, but it is.’

‘Listen up, tiny white boy!’, the girl by the king’s side said fiercely. ‘Wakanda is our home and we know every treasure it houses. There is no magical shiny stone!’

‘There is!’, Peter countered just as strongly. ‘Just because you’re the masters of hiding things from the rest of the world, it doesn’t mean something couldn’t be hidden from you!’

‘But-’, the girl tried, but T’Challa grabbed her arm and she cut herself off, huffing air through her nose. ‘Do you know _exactly_ where it is?’

‘Not exactly.’, Peter winced. ‘I know it’s underground, in a place filled with wood.’

It wasn’t much, but the two Wakandas seemed to know what he was talking about, because they shared a long look.

‘We need to protect it.’, Cap turned to T’Challa.

‘We’ll go.’, he nodded. ‘I suggest the two Infinity Stone bearers stay behind.’

‘And apart from one another.’, Thor nodded. ‘In the meantime, I need to go enquire about a talking racoon with blasters.’

‘We’ll work the tech.’, Mr. Stark nodded, indicating to himself and Dr. Banner. ‘You’re helping.’, he pointed at Peter, who was quick to nod.

Most of the people headed to the elevator, some of them stopping to wink at Peter (Black Widow) or playfully punch his shoulder (Falcon), or just to ask how old he was (Loki). Sgt. Barnes lingered next to Peter, Cap and T’Challa waiting for him by the elevators.

When the feisty young woman passed by them, cleary heading towards her king, Barnes easily grabbed her arm.

‘You should stay behind.’, he said slowly, and the girl just blinked up at him. Her eyes skipped to Peter, but then she glared back at Barnes.

‘I am not babysitting yet another sick white boy!’

‘I don’t need a babysitter!’, Peter felt the need to defend himself. ‘Plus, I heal quickly, I’ll be fine in no time.’

‘Yeah?’, Barnes raised an eyebrow. ‘Think you’re going to be able to sleep tonight without seeing Thanos?’

That shut Peter up quickly, and while it was embarrassing, he couldn’t deny it.

‘There’s no time for sleep!’, Mr. Stark piped up. ‘Shuri, you should definitely stay, we’re probably going to need that big brain of yours.’

The girl rolled her eyes at that, and she whined in a very childish manner.

‘You should stay.’, T’Challa said with authority. ‘I’ll have you on coms if anything requires your assistance.’

It took a few moments of glaring at the king, but she looked back to Barnes, nodding. It made the man smile, a little, and he also gave this Shuri girl a barely there kiss on the forehead. It was as surprising as it was pretty, Peter thought, the vicious Winter Soldier acting so very softly with this young girl.

‘You’ll take care!’, she said fiercely, poking a finger at his chest. ‘You are my original broken white boy, I’m invested in your well being because I worked so very hard on it.’

‘Fine’, Barnes smiled wilder. ‘I’ll even take care of your brother, if he needs it.’

He left, with a wink thrown at the girl and a friendly pat to Peter’s shoulder.

It was so very different behavior, from the last time Peter saw Bucky Barnes. It kinda blew his mind, as much as the existence of Thanos did.

‘Who are you?’, Peter asked, staring at this girl, this pretty girl with her hair up in Leia buns and very colorful, modern clothes.

‘Shuri, T’Challa’s sister.’

He blinked, twice. ‘So you’re a princess.’

She glared. ‘Don’t start, tiny white boy.’

‘Peter! My name is Peter!’, he glared right back.

‘Spider-Boy.’, she nudged his nose with the tip of her finger.

‘No, Peter.’, he said strongly. ‘Peter Parker. You should learn that name, it’ll be helpful this summer when I’ll intern at your New York outreach center.’

Her entire expression changed at that, into one of incredulity. ‘No, I specifically asked only to hire the smartest of kids, who are more likely to understand our tech.’

‘Why do you think I’m not smart?’, Peter felt a little affronted.

‘You’re wearing an outdated suit that is very bad for stealth and it doesn’t even fly.’

‘I don’t like her, Peter.’, Karen said briskly. ‘You should stop talking to her.’

Shuri bristled at that, glaring at the cowl Peter was holding, where the AI’s voice came from.

‘Mr. Stark made the suit. This is version 2.0.’, he finally said, patting at his chest. ‘I don’t have the type of money needed to build this.’

‘It’s a great suit!’, Mr. Stark yelled, typing along at a keyboard.

‘It is a massive help’, Peter nodded quickly, ‘and I am very grateful, Mr. Stark, thank you.’

Shuri narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Are you a genius?’

‘No.’, Peter was quick to answer. ‘Not yet, anyway. I’m just somewhere in the top 1% of New York.’

She kept watching him for a few seconds, frowning. ‘You’ll do.’, Shuri said finally. ‘If you manage not to piss me off too much, I’ll even consider giving your suit an upgrade, come summer.’

He smiled at that, wildly and excited, but it didn’t last for long. ‘Come summer, right. We just have to… survive the intergalactical alien attack.’

‘Speaking of!’, Mr. Stark said strongly. ‘If you two could stop flirting, we have work to do!’

Peter turned a fiery red, but Shuri was not bothered at all.

‘I feel very bad for Mrs. Potts if this is what you call flirting.’

Mr. Stark rolled his eyes. ‘Would you just get over here and have a look at these readings?’

She nodded, took two steps before throwing a look to Peter. ‘You coming?’

‘Not yet.’, he shook his head. ‘My knees are still shaking.’

Shuri’s eyes grew wide at that, and she grinned wildly. ‘Do I really fluster you that badly, Spider-Boy?’

Still red in the face, Peter glared strongly. ‘You don’t fluster me at all, _Princess_ , but an hour ago I was thirty thousand feet in the air! Without a parachute! Excuse me if I’m still a little shaken up.’

Shuri opened her mouth to respond, some sort of insult, probably, but she was cut off by Dr. Banner.

‘Let’s just all stop yelling, alright? I would really appreciate it.’, he said calmly, making his way towards Peter’s side. ‘How about, while these two start working on the data you gathered from the portal, you and I head a level down to the med lab and you let me take a CT scan? Just to make sure everything’s alright with you?’

Peter whined, he really hated being in hospitals. ‘Do I have to?’

‘Yes!’, Mr. Stark yelled. ‘Listen to the doctor!’

‘He’s not that kind of doctor.’, Peter mumbled under his breath before he could stop himself. But Dr. Banner didn’t seem to mind, because he smiled, a little.

‘I still know where Dr. Cho hides the lollipops for the patients. Stay still for a CT scan, and I’ll give you one.’

‘Two.’, Peter countered. ‘Two lollipops and a change of clothes. I left my backpack on the school bus.’

Dr Banner was quick to agree.

\\\▲//

When they got back to the lab, Shuri and Mr. Stark were both typing away at computers, standing next to each other, but not talking. Peter made his way to her side, but didn’t say anything, waiting for her to look at him. She did, pulling a face when she saw that he had a lollipop in his mouth.

He still gave her the second lollipop he got. ‘Peace offering?’

It took a second or two, but Shuri did grab the lollipop, and as she was unwrapping it, it looked like she was trying not to laugh.

‘So.’, Peter took a deep breath. ‘What can I do?’

He let Shuri order him around, even if she kept calling him Spider-Boy.

\\\▲//

When she did finally call him Spider-Man, he was surrounded by 20 of Thanos’ aliens, and she yelled it over the comms, following it up with telling him what the aliens’ weak spot was.

\\\▲//

‘You might have a new brother soon.’, Bucky told T’Challa, as they were making their way back to the rendezvous points. ‘Or a nephew. I’m not sure if Shuri wants to adopt Peter or date him.’

‘No.’, T’Challa snorted. ‘She’ll eat that poor boy alive before she even thinks of dating him.’

And sure enough, the next time they saw them, Peter was lying face down on the ground, hands and legs tied with rope, and Shuri was sitting on his back, calmly reading from a tablet.

‘Aren’t you supposed to have superstrength?’, Bucky drawled out.

‘I do.’, Peter sighed. ‘But I can’t hit a lady.’

‘Especially if you’re too afraid of what that lady will do to you after.’, Shuri cheerily piped up.

Bucky looked to T’Challa, who was looking proudly at his sister. But then he bent down and clawed through the ropes keeping Peter in place.

‘Be nice, Shuri. You could do with some friends your own age.’

Shuri looked affronted. Peter looked like he swallowed something sour. Bucky could not stop himself from finally laughing, following T’Challa as he made his way away from the teenagers.

‘We’re not friends!’, Shuri said strongly.

‘More like frienemies.’, Peter easily agreed.

‘But that still means we’re a little bit of friends.’

‘Of course we’re a little bit of friends! I let you tie me down, for fu- god’s sake!’

‘Spider-Boy, you did not-’

Bucky couldn’t hear their banter anymore, but he heard T’Challa chuckling fondly next to him, and as protective as Bucky had become over Shuri, he was fine with leaving her in Peter’s hands. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t dare let his hands wander.


End file.
